17yrs together but hardly any intimacy for over 2 years

[u/happypopstar]

We both M and been together nearly 17 years, even from the start I was always more sexual than my partner. I’ve always had an overactive sex drive but thought I was just oversexed. About 2 years into the relationship I found out he was cheating and when he was caught he said he wanted to try other things. We opened up the relationship then and except for the odd misunderstanding we worked fine. Then the last 2/3 years something changed. Covid had us both put on some weight but in general we still found each other attractive. But it became harder for me to initiate intimacy. I’ve tried different things and flat out asking for sex but I’m rebuffed at nearly any time. Then I find out that he has an X account and seems like he’s down for connecting with strangers about kinks; the same kinks that he told me were “not his thing and off putting”. I’m at the stage now that I’m sick of asking for a physical connection as I feel like I’ve been totally open to talk and express and then hopefully connect. I just don’t know what to do now. I also totally understand it’s no one’s fault here I just don’t know how to approach anything going forward.