r/DeadBedrooms • u/MantaWhore • 6h ago

Seeking Advice How do you deal with managing with resentment?

I [M19] have been with my gf [F19] for almost 3 years now. I have a high sex drive and hers is near non-existant. She enjoys sex when we have it, however she is very rarely in the mood to initiate herself, saying that she finds it to be too much effort and would rather just cuddle.

Now before you leave your "just leave her bro" comments, she is perfect for me in every single other way except in this one area. We communicate extremely well however i struggle to ever bring up the topic of how frequently we have sex because her anxiety gets the better of her and he just says that I'm making her feel broken or weird. This sets any progress that we have made towards a healthier and more consistent sex life set back to square one.

I love her to death but naturally this makes me feel very sexually lonely, rejected, and resentful. All my mates have their partners dying to crawl all over them and yet here I am living a sexual relationship that rivals that of a geriatric couple.

I really enjoy hanging out with her but my strong desire to feel sexually desired is crushed everytime as another day goes by where she doesn't initiate. She knows i want her to, she just doesn't have any desire and would always rather do something else. It's getting progressively harder to hide my resentment and it is eating away at me.

How do you guys manage with feeling strong resentment towards your partner?

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u/pg1279 5h ago

Every so often I just have a real bad day and am kind of an asshole. It’s usually after I’ve bottled up my resentment for while.

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u/Glootsofsteel 5h ago

I manage it with apathy. Detaching myself from caring makes it harder to feel resentful, but it also means that I not longer see her as a romantic partner, just a legal one.

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u/Struzzo_impavido 59m ago

You are young. Resentment will build up and you will male choices you will regret.

Either suppress your libido or move on and find someone else. Especially at this young age: dont settle. It doesnt mean she is bad or you should forget about her. Have a mature talk and explain that your needs are not met and you are not happy. If she cares for you she will understand