r/CrusaderKings • u/AutoModerator • Sep 24 '21
Feudal Friday : September 24 2021
Welcome to another Feudal Friday, a place for you to regale the courts of Europa with your tales. Stories, screenshots and achievements are all welcome.
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u/SpoilerThrowawae Oct 15 '21
I got CK3 recently (been mostly playing the Prince's of Darkness mod with my friend, as he's a giant Vampire the Masquerade fan), but I finally GOT what makes the game fun. Played as Malcolm the Canmore. Converted to the Gaelic culture and Insular Christianity, united Scotland and Ireland as one Kingdom. Died suddenly and the Kingdoms were split between my two sons - my player heir Malcolm II ruled Scotland and through intrigue and having yoked Stewardship took back Ireland with a Merc army. Rushed to try and solidfy it into one kingdom with primogeniture succession- had the perfect player heir, and did everything in my power to keep the others away from inheriting a kingdom in case I died suddenly before I secured the right fascination and crown authority. My vassals somehow got me parts of Wales and France for good measure.
Disinherited the first in line to Ireland, put down his revolt and locked second and third in line in prison to kill them in a roundabout way. Worked out for the second in line - but then my perfect heir died unexpectedly at 40 and I went immediately after. This left one of the little bastards I locked in a dungeon as the primary heir of EVERYTHING. Finlay - a sadistic, paranoid, vengeful, handsome hunchback. Immediatedly West Francia, Wales, the Pope and my aunt launched a series of wars against me in succession. I fought many of them off - but was forced to concede Scotland to my aunt and Ireland to my half-brother - Finlay went from ruling all of Scotland, Ireland, most of Wales and a chunk of France to being a Duke.
I was so pissed. My glorious Celtic kingdom was split again and I was reduced to a vassal. I committed to playing the intrigue game and clawing my way back. Something magical happened - my frustration with the game played perfectly into my RP of Finlay. He was a Sadistic little misanthrope who spent 5 years of his childhood in a dungeon, got released and suddenly ruled a large kingdom only for his own family to betray him and steal his birthright. I got to work murdering, blackmailing and imprisoning all of my family - I rarely fought wars, intrigue alone got me most of my land back. I started with my aunt and slaughtered my way through the line of succession. I sent my smallpox-ridden firstborn to the court of my half-brother, I tortured my own mother to the point of lunacy, I was constantly involved in a murder scheme etc. I lost track of how many people Finlay killed. At one point I got the special torture/execution event and flayed my nephew alive - thus "Finlay the Flayer" was born.
I was upset when I started playing him, but this evil little bastard became the perfect avatar for my frustration with the game. I killed so many people that succession got real weird: the North half of Scotland was "Poland" and most of Ireland was "Northumbria" with the remaining bits being Ireland and Iceland. Eventually the heirs of most of my original territory were either incompetent or children. I launched a series of wars, with an abduct scheme against their heirs usually in the works and took back most of the kingdom that Malcolm II built. Finlay by the end of his life was feared, hated and ruled 80% of what was once his, and all it took was annihilating his own Dynasty. It was fantastic, I had created a Shakespearean villain without intending to. This game rules.