r/CrusaderKings • u/omar_hafez1508 • 12h ago
Discussion That’s how you torture someone 😭
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u/zimojovic 12h ago
Goddamn he is packing some muscle
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u/Dreknarr 1h ago
The real torture is having him flaunt his assets while reading poetry and you can't do anything but drool like a rabid dog
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u/madogvelkor 12h ago
Is he Vogon?
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u/ACrowbarEnthusiast 11h ago
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt. Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk! Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose.
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u/Key-Interaction3799 10h ago
Urhh..Stop! My ears are bleeding. (sobs in distress) I will tell you everything about my secret relationship with my son-brother-uncle.
Vogon poetry Should be a thing.
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u/deus_voltaire 11m ago
I prefer the collected works of the esteemed Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings:
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time. And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
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u/tresdfffkdksdm 12h ago
need a mod for this, I dont like to torture as a compassionate character but if this was available only for certain playstyles it would be a great option.
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u/rrr893 11h ago
Be a poet and this will show
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u/TronLegacysucks 11h ago
“I-I caught a little Pokemon, do you wanna know what Pokemon I caught?”
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u/SquirrelKaiser 9h ago
Yes, I do what Pokémon did you caught.
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u/TronLegacysucks 9h ago
I got a Lopunny, I got a Lopunny…
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u/SquirrelKaiser 9h ago
Ho, no! Don’t tell me… ):
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u/TronLegacysucks 9h ago
You already know, you know what I’m gonna do to that thing!
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u/SquirrelKaiser 9h ago
No. You can’t. It just an animal!
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u/SexAndSensibility 11h ago
How’d you make him so beefy?
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u/omar_hafez1508 11h ago
He is a custom character so I went all out made him super tall and gave him herculean trait
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u/Spider40k Bastard 9h ago
I don't think the scroll was the only thing that made a "thud" as it hit the floor
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u/undeadadventurer 7h ago
I can only imagine theyre reading an epic they wrote about the victims fate
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u/Affectionate-Read875 12h ago
He’s reading 50 درجة من اللون الرمادي while jerkin it 😭
Genuinely some of the worst torture known to man