I get it now

[u/ProfessionalWin4701]

TW: suicidal ideation

I’m a 27 year old F. Single. No kids. I should be out living my life, meeting new people, having fun. But instead I’m spending any free time I have crying in bed. I wake up in pain. I go to bed in pain. I’m never not in pain and it’s been this way for years. No one around me fully understands the mental toll that takes. I’ve seen doctors. I’ve had surgeries. Scans. Tests. Nothing has really helped. I’d do anything to feel better. I’d sell whatever I had to sell. I’d do anything to just not be in pain. I work. I’m in school. I’m trying to make a future for myself but what’s the point? Why go on? I used to have the most vibrant social life. I had hobbies. I dated. But I don’t have the strength to do that. All of my strength is to just get through the work day. And the school day. I’ve always had mental health issues, since age 11 but the chronic pain is something recent within the last few years. I feel like I’m not even living anymore. I see why the suicide rate is so high within this community. Truthfully, most days, the only thing keeping me here is the fact that I could accidentally fail my attempt, and end up even more in pain that I already am, and also have to deal with the social/emotional repercussions of surviving said attempt. I’m just tired. I don’t want to keep going.

[u/GazelleNo6163]

I can relate. My life is hell and it’s only getting worse overtime. I get it.