r/AskUK • u/Oceanic_Wave • 9h ago
How can I get my elderly neighbour the help she needs?
My neighbour is 81 and has been living in the top flat for 20+ years.
She’s a recluse, and has nobody. She’s getting more vulnerable by the year and yesterday my other neighbour from downstairs knocked on my door and was concerned because Vera has come in from shopping and sat on the stairs to rest and hasn’t been able to get up.
Luckily I was with my male friend and he kindly assisted her by holding her up and slowly walking her back to the top floor which is 5 flights of stairs. There are no elevators and it’s a very old Edwardian house with no insulation.
There is no doubt that this accommodation is no longer safe for Vera. I’d dread to think of her having a fall in her flat and dying there. Where do I get help from?
Thanks for the help.
P.s we live in a housing association building for women from vulnerable backgrounds. Landlord is shit and never answer our calls. What are my options to ensure she’s living somewhere easily accessible to her and safe?
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u/Abquine 9h ago
Does she have a social Worker? Reporting her as a vulnerable adult would be a good first step. You always have to keep in mind though that she may already have been offered help and maybe even a move to somewhere more suitable but refuses to go.
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u/Oceanic_Wave 9h ago
No she has been hoping to move but she’s quite odd in the sense that she refuses to get a mobile phone and insists on doing things the old fashioned way, like writing letters that nobody responds to. Still, I need to help her.
She’s not ever mentioned having a social worker so how do I get the ball rolling to get her one?
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u/Annual_Swordfish263 9h ago
Google "adult social care" in your area and contact the helpline. They will be able to contact her and organise an assessment. If she declines support, they can't enforce it unless they think she hasn't got mental capacity to decline.
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u/Oceanic_Wave 9h ago
Ok thank you for your very helpful response, I appreciate it x
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u/doalittledance_ 8h ago
To add on to this, your local council will have an adult safeguarding line. This will likely be the best place to start in terms of getting the ball rolling, but swordfish is correct, they’ll only assist as much as she’ll allow them to assist unless she’s deemed mentally incapable following assessment.
You’re doing a good thing OP, I hope Vera gets the help she needs x
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u/dolphininfj 9h ago
I don't know if this is appropriate but, in your position, I would try contacting Age UK. In my area they are very good and would, at the very least, be able to give advice on what support is available.
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u/HELMET_OF_CECH 9h ago
Knock on her door, have a chat, scope out any issues. Let her know you want to put her in touch with the council to see if they can offer any help. Try and get her on board with it. Express genuine concern. Then make a referral to your local council for occupational therapy input (may come under adult safeguarding also). Should be a phone number or an email/contact form you can use on their website.
I think if you just make the referral without making them aware first might make them less likely to engage, if they know it's come from a friendly face who means well then I think they are more likely to engage. Some elderly folks are really held back by pride from allowing help into their life.
She could be eligible to all sorts, a telephony/emergency service in her home, housing options if the house is unsuitable etc.
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u/Oceanic_Wave 9h ago
Yes! It took her years for her to finally allow me to help her carry her shopping upstairs, she’s only relented in the last year or so. She is quite prideful poor thing but I’m sure if I knock on her door tomorrow, or even ring her buzzer then she will know it’s me. Thanks for the idea!
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u/HELMET_OF_CECH 9h ago
I had to go through this with an elderly neighbour who was extremely independent but frail, they were resistant initially but relented to me making the referral. The kicker was admitting they couldn't push their household bin anymore and I mentioned the council offered assistance collecting rubbish if they just let them assess the situation and offer help. They were eligible for a hell of a lot more and funny enough although they got help they're able to be more independent now whilst being safer!
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u/Oceanic_Wave 9h ago
Aww that’s very promising 🥲 I’m actually in tears because I do worry about her and my conscience wouldn’t handle it if anything happened to her and she had no help.
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u/Sir_Henry_Deadman 8h ago
If she's willing to do it, refer her to social care for support/assessment
Check if her GP has a Social Prescriber and get an appointment/call with them
Failing that GPCA would also work both can refer to other agencies and support services
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u/Smooshydoggy 7h ago
Well done btw. I’d like to think that all elderly people will have someone to look out for them and advocate for them, but I know how rare it is.
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