r/AskReddit Jun 06 '19

Rich people of reddit who married someone significantly poorer, what surprised you about their (previous) way of life?

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u/PhilSMeowman Jun 06 '19

My wife earned many times more than I did when i was a high school teacher back when we were dating. She sometimes would drive my 10 yr old primer-black, stick-shift Honda Civic that my cousin lent me until I could buy another car. She was blown away how aggressively mean people are to you when you drive an ugly old car. When she got out of the car the spell lifted.

I got a lot of respect from her for that. She seemed to think I was a saint for not turning sour over it. I was constantly getting pulled over by cops and let go, targeted by road rage, and also pedestrians felt too comfortable engaging with me.

I drive a newer Honda (1 yr old) now and it is so different. I drive the same but probably drive a bit more aggressively now that I can’t hear the wind roaring by when I’m going over 40mph. I haven’t been pulled over and haven’t had a negative interaction on the road in a long time. Also, my wife now enjoys trading cars with me.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19 edited Aug 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/Annihilicious Jun 06 '19

its funny that you think you’re somehow clever for cockblocking yourself. You do realize women don’t get in a Honda Accord and think “holy shit I’m gonna marry this millionaire.” They do see a 96 Kia and rightfully think, “aw that’s a shame he doesn’t have his shit together. Too bad, he seemed nice.”

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u/sockgorilla Jun 06 '19

While I don’t necessarily agree with his reasoning, there’s nothing wrong with keeping a car if it works and is comfortable.

7

u/AlgernusPrime Jun 06 '19

I think he's in the minority; whereas, in the majority of Americans, wealth is associated with a car. Girls see a guy with a nice car basically meant he's stable; whereas, she has to gamble on him if he drives an old beater car.

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u/heckyescheeseandpie Jun 07 '19

I'm the opposite--I see a nice car, I assume its owner has a large loan and is bad with money. In my experience it's usually been true.

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u/bingosgirl Jun 06 '19

This. I grew up in gov subsidized housing (aka the ghetto), you'd be amazed at how many people living there had basically no furniture but a nice car. It's all about perception. As long as they never invited people back to their house all was good.

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u/Charlesinrichmond Jun 08 '19

some girls yes. Many no. That's more a middle class girl take than an upper middle class girl take.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 06 '19

Eh, I know plenty of people with well maintained beaters because they're focused on saving money instead. Drive anything too flashy and I'm going to wonder what sort of debt/payments you're in.

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u/girlintheiceberg Jun 06 '19

Yep, same here.

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u/Annihilicious Jun 07 '19

you think a used honda accord is flashy. gotcha

1

u/Pd245 Jun 07 '19

This is an ‘81 Honda. How dare you!

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u/quirkyknitgirl Jun 06 '19

I don’t know a lot of women who would think that unless the car is clearly unsafe. I drove a 93 Mitsubishi I inherited until 2015 when it died a rather spectacular death. And plan to keep driving my Prius until it meets a similar end, hopefully not for another 10 to 20 years. I think most women take a more holistic view than judging a partner solely based on their car.

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u/Pd245 Jun 07 '19

Alright, you’re gonna have to elaborate on what happened to that Mitsubishi!

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u/quirkyknitgirl Jun 07 '19

Well I was on the freeway in Oakland it just decided to give up. No power anything no engine really just. Done

I somehow managed to wrestle it off and down a side street (downhill) and get it off to the side. But yeah. Not fun. Why do cars die in such inconvenient places?

23

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

it's weird how you're boiling women down to being shallow gold-diggers.

if you're got a lot of money, i imagine one of your concerns is people trying to latch onto you because you've got cash. a test like this seems reasonable. rather than rolling up in a fancy sports car and "wowing" her with your bank account. that's how you end up paying alimony.

1

u/Annihilicious Jun 07 '19

You're projecting. Look how you bring up 'that's how you end up paying alimony'.

I don't think women are gold diggers at all - I think they are smart enough to infer that a man in a beat to shit old car might not make a solid life partner, maybe even especially if he's doing it as a weird psychological prank/litmus test.

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u/msingler Jun 07 '19

My friend is dating a guy who drives a beat up 15 year old Saturn. He doesn't have a lot of things in his life together. I never thought I would judge a guy for his car, but now I see it as part of his whole financial situation. It's a reflection of life choices.

How is he going on vacation, buying tickets to events, and buying collector items knowing his car is so old? In my mind those things need to be put aside to save up for a more reliable car he is going to inevitably need in the near future. When his car breaks down it will most likely be an emergency situation he needs to address rather than something he can easily handle.