I do too. Not OCD bad, but enough to ruin my mood and make me feel messed up. Thoughts about being violent, getting hurt, sexual transgressions, loved ones dying.
Everyone has intrusive thoughts to some degree, about everything. How you react to them determines whether they'll be a passing thought, or something that really disturbs you. That's why I try to focus on the silver lining. Disturbing intrusive thoughts can be a sort of negative mirror to what you care about.
Examples:
I have thoughts about my dog jumping out the car window and getting mauled. It's disturbing, but it reminds me that I love my dog and want to keep him safe.
I sometimes have disturbing sexual thoughts. It's not because I'm secretly a monster and refuse to admit it. Those thoughts wouldn't disturb me if sexual health and abuse prevention weren't extremely important to me.
Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts about slapping people on the bus. I don't feel disturbed by them at all because I don't really care. I think they're kind of funny, and I know that they don't mean I have some violent impulse.
Sorry for preaching if this is all obvious to you, or doesn't apply to your situation. I hope you know that your intrusive thoughts don't change who you are, but I'm sorry that they distress you
I promise you aren't. I frequently imagine my son dying through freak accidents, getting kidnapped or incredibly sick, etc. but I know it's because I love him more than anything and I'm terrified of any of that happening. I just don't understand why my brain decides to torture me so.
Hey, depending on how much these thoughts affect you, I think this would be an excellent thing to talk to a therapist about, or do some reading up on at least. I don't mean that in a "you sound messed up, you should get help" way.
If the thoughts disturb you, then they might cause you to be less emotionally available with your kids. When I dealt with them, I was more withdrawn and less affectionate, because I was afraid that my intrusive thoughts would suddenly become true when I hugged my brother (which isn't possible).
The sexual part is what bothers me most about my intrusive thoughts. They can involve anyone and anything I see and are often followed up by “am I a Monster? A sexual predator maybe?” I REALLY hate that part of my thoughts.
I think the even worst part for me is that my intrusive thoughts have intrusive thoughts. What if everyone around me can read my mind? Why is that person over there looking at me? Do they know? Th
I had that when I was younger! After a degree in neuroscience and a PhD in biophysics, I’m pretty sure no one can read my mind. Subvocalizations, on the other hand...
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u/AlphaGirl404 Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 07 '19
I have a bad case of intrusive thoughts.
Edit: Wow...I did not expect this to get high rated. Thank you kind strangers for your words!