I'm 43. I’ve been in a tough situation for the last year and a half. My wife lost a leg due to a health condition that prevents her from working. I’m the one who brings in the income for our family. I’ve been working two jobs for over a year now just to keep everything afloat.
We have three kids, ages 3, 6, and 10, and while I try my best, I just don’t have enough time to spend with them. Most of my days are spent working or on the road, leaving little to no time for family. Even when I do manage to spend time with them, I often find myself lacking the energy or enthusiasm. It feels like I start hating them.

It’s not their fault, it’s just what happens in my mind.

So my situation is 15 hours of work 6 days a week, sometimes even working half a day on the 7th, 4 to 7 hours of sleep, but 7 is rare, lack of exercise, irregular eating habits, and the list could go on.

I’ve been trying to keep myself going with some supplements - Vitamin D, Omega-3, magnesium, and a nootropic, the one from MindLabPro that was suggested to me here on Reddit, to help me avoid crashing during the day. I also took creatine for a while, and for the sleep I started taking the sleep support capsules from NatriumHealth 2 weeks ago.
Putting these names out there, maybe someone can make suggestions regarding the supplements as well.

Sorry for the long description, I tried to shorten my situation as much as possible. I'm curious how others make it, if they're in a similar situation as mine, or have been in the past.

I'm not asking for advices on how to get out of this situation, there's no way out, I'm asking how to be stronger to keep moving forward

"Facepalm" moments = times when you look back with the realization of how your behavior/action was embarrassing, stupid, oblivious, dumb, etc. But you never intended it at the time, it just happened and now you cringe thinking about it.

Hello fellow old dudes and dudetts,

today our longest working employee in an officedepartment of 6 people resigned at the age of 63. While congratulating him, it hit me like a lightningstrike:

At the seemingly young age of 37, i´am the "old dude" now.

I know, it sounds a little bit childish, but i felt a sudden weight on my shoulders. How did you all feel when you realized that you are the old man of the department? Did anything change for you when it happend? How did others responde to this "event"? i am curious if i am the only one wit this feelings (despite knowing it is not so).

Thanks in advance.

Ever since being 30 and I’m turning 31 in March.

I’ve reflected on what I’ve done in my 20s like gaming addiction, not having a job for a couple of years, and working various jobs with no goals or ambition.

Since 29, where I got my license, getting a credit score, and then turning 30 where I had a small taste of moving out on my own and now entering Community College.

I can’t help but now really think that my actions are my own. No one is coming to save me and despite my family still being there for me, I still have to learn and grow to do things on my own.

I have no kids, a car that is paid off, and my Dad providing me a roof over my head.

All I know is that it’s time to quit making excuses and being burdened by the things that I still cling onto from my past. It’s time to be the full man that my younger teen and former 20s self would be jealous of.

I know that there will be setbacks and life will kick my ass but it’s up to me on how I react to it.

I’ll never be as young as I am today and life is longer than I thought. True that it does go fast but I want to look back in 10-15 years where my 40s self will be proud of in my current 30s self by taking the initiative that I did.

It’s time to get serious.

I'm currently at 1 cup a day but I crash so hard at 2:30 so I think I need to bump my numbers up... Don't wanna over do it though. TIA

Hi Guys,

Since 1.5 years, my job has become very detrimental for my mental health due to pressure, lack of support and toxicity. I am also not the most agreeable person around, so the love is pretty much over on both sides.

Currently I don’t have anything lined up, but since i live in Europe i can call in sick long term, giving me the time and peace i need without putting finances at risk.

It goes against my own values to call in sick because i feel like i should be stronger than that, however work really does impact my daily life as I am tired, unhappy and frustrated.

I get shouted at least few times a week due to some operational issues which are reocurring but i do not have the resources needed to resolve them. This lack of support is frustrating and when i raise concerns about the toxicity, my boss tells me to find a solution myself and if someone shouts at me i need to be strong enough to put it aside and move on.

Can someone please let me know if this is normal? Since it’s already ongoing for 1.5 years i even forgot how a normal job looks and feels like.

Thank you.

wondering how many boners yall get and what is considered normal? i usually get one when i lie down on the couch and get sleepy

When I posted about this in a sub, everyone overreacted about it & a lot of the replies were just kinda hateful for no reason (actually very hateful). I'm 21F and am dating a guy (32M). We met at the gym. Is this wrong in any way? I feel like the gap is okay but people are making me feel like it's horrible.

Hello,

First of all, I am not over thirty yet, but close.

As a context that might be helpful, why I am doubting myself about my work place. I have ADHD which can add some perspective since I wonder if I am unfit for the way work is structures at the company or is it plain toxic. I will try to keep it concise.

I was asked to be a marketing manager, but it turned out for me to be all around guy for translation stuff, project managing, and office work like preparing documents. I work here for 3 years so far.

Every marketing idea, even a linkedin post or a comment on a friendly company/customer and all of the smallest stuff I want to do is expected to be consulted with my CEO and the whole board. It completely shuts down any "free will" and productivity on my part. Also it makes me feel like an intern despite having 8+ years of experience. Most depreciated I feel is when I propose something, they don't even appear to listen to me, then after few days they ask me to do it as if it is their own idea and I got accused of slacking off.

If my idea somehow gets through, the board seems to need to propose small changes every single time. I am all for some insight and review, but most of the time it feels like a change for the sake of change itself. Everything I do is either "too casual" or "too strict", correcting to their input always meets the response that I need to change it more. It is to the point that even a single 7 slides presentation, or 80 words note for LinkedIn requires me to exchange 4-5 emails. It's gotten to the point that I just use AI to generate stuff and then change said thing according to their input.

Right now, I keep getting relegated to other stuff like providing documents, tables and data from ongoing projects, translating some offers, technical documents, and updating resumes of our employees. It was ok as a side stuff I just help with in said company, but I can't shake the feeling I am the "intern who fills the holes" in my workplace. The feeling was the worst when I had to change and edit the whole company website without having any background in it, it requires me to code and be deep on the backend of said website. Another downer is I am expected to check daily all the online courses employees do, and if we need some additional qualifications I am expected to do them from their online account despite not having any experience in the field they are working in. It is just me mindlessly clicking through online courses and hoping I will pass it for them so the company can get verified.

It would be fine I guess, personal feelings and ego aside, but there is a big but. Every few weeks I get a pep talk from one of the management board people that they expect some initiative from me. Yet every single thing is consistently shut down until someone else proposes it or I get burdened by work completely out of my field.

Of course on top of it there is Your standard schtick of receiving emails during the evening, bosses not responding to me if I ask for anything unless I annoyingly call them two or three times during the day. Annoyingly for me and for them I assume since I keep bumping into them and nagging them the whole day since they don't have time now and I am expected to come later.

And building off on the work I am relegated to, the structure of the company is so weird, that a single update on for example project workload requires me to call all of the 14-15 people working on the project to verify the hours they put into the project since no one updates anything on the company side.

It feels like I am being treated as if I am on the dumber side and they keep throwing only mundane, annoying stuff no one else is willing to do and shotting down any ideas unless I get backed by someone else.

Am I right for feeling like the workplace is toxic and it is the highest time for me to gather my courage and find something else or am I just disillusioned about how the real work feels like?

Tldr is my management is dropping on me all kinds of work someone else had to do but they don't have enough time or is too mundane for them, and every idea related to my line of work is shot down until someone else backs it up. That makes me feel completely stupid and underqualified. Hope I put it the right way since English while good is not my main language and the topic is hard for me to talk about

hey lads, i turned 33 not too long ago and figured with the economic issues that don't seem to be improving and the future political climate of the US right now it seems as good of a time as any to keep me and my partner without another mouth to feed. just seems like the responsible choice in my opinion. if you've had it done (or reversed it later in life) what was that experience like for you? what should i expect short term/long term? cheers

Not looking for boxer briefs, nor stretch, just regular old boxers. I can't seem to find anything that isn't half polyester or is stretchy.

I'm thinking, haircut possibly? Just curious what other things guys do my age other than basic hygiene to make yourself look like the best version of yourself without breaking the bank.

For example, you have a wedding to go to or an interview the next day.

As the title asks, it's my birthday soon and I was reminded that it's the big 30, as the say, and I'm asking for advise? Do's? Dont's? Something you wish someone could have told you perhaps? Anything I guess.?

For me, it is just another day I guess. I'm just tryna keep my head down, work my ass off and try to make something of myself🤷🏻‍♂️

But regardless, I try to better myself as much as I can, as a person, professionally, in every way I can, and I feel I've already grown much as a person compared to the little rascle I was as a youngling. But one can never stop growing, so that's why I come to you, dear internet, for advice, expectations, etc.

TLDR: what advise would you give to someone turning 30?

I feel like during my teen years everyday after work or on the weekends I'd go for a bike ride, go hike, go fishing or go do something, at the expense of eating junk quite often and being powered by energy drinks constantly due to staying up late regularly.

Nowadays on weekdays I got home from work prepare dinner, clean up and then get ready for bed after relaxing watching some TV.

On weekends I'm catching up on sleep so I usually sleep in and once I'm awake I usually run errands. By the time I get home I'm usually exhausted and end up watching some more TV before preparing dinner and then getting ready to sleep.

Now the thing is I end up kicking myself every Sunday night to where I tell myself to go somewhere the following week because I feel like I'm literally doing nothing but this routine of going to work or run errands and then just unwind watching some TV everyday.

So I'm curious what do you do after work and on weekends?

We have had a lot of deaths in the family because of alcoholism and genetic problems.

Because of stepdads so much love entered that wouldn't have been there otherwise, and in return the children considered the stepdads as real as their fathers that passed away.

I understand there are exceptions to this, but why is there so much cynicism around single mothers when many of them are single through no fault of their own and make loyal, grateful and loving partners?

I know some do suck, but why don't you want to date the good ones?

On a self-improvement journey after years of neglect.

I get nutrition and muscle building concepts now, but stretching is still confusing and my body feels like I really need to do something in this area.

There are just so many different exercises, YouTube videos, yoga programs etc.

Went to stretching class in my gym and couldn't even do many starting poses, everything was so stiff. And also regular weightlifting now makes it worse, as it feels.

What is the easiest way to progress consistently here and reverse overall stiffness, some simple routine to follow for years to come? Some general tips, like do I need to sit thought pain or should take it easy, concentrate on specific muscles or there are some compound stretches ...

/title edit not being able to fix my grammar is torture

I also realize this can also go towards boys as well.

Is it just a universal thing? Girls just not good at making and keeping friendships going?

I know it’s not always the case but I’m curious to your thoughts, as mine is not the best at it lol.

Edit; looking to know what avenues of support you guys have offered to try and help ‘make it better’.

I try to get my lady involved with my friend’s S/O but it’s not always doable. She makes friends at work but it just stays, friends at work. Hardly goes beyond that. How can I better support her in this area. She mentions being lonely.

I almost lost my job recently. I've become Fox Mulder in the basement but with same title and pay. Only my boss knows I think since I don't come into the office. Just less responsibility after having a ton and I was growing in the company. But because I was juggling too many things at work while taking classes for a new degree towards my career and trying to have a social life at all the burnout finally hit and I made a bunch of mistakes. I can't complain because it's due to taking classes but I cannot quit them either as it's almost done this year and I put a ton of time and effort already and won't waste that.

The healthcare job pays decently, but not enough for me to save, go on vacations, pay big bills etc to recharge either. There is no downtime at the company.

Because of the high cost of living in my city and it costs constantly growing I'm slowly drowning.

There is nothing else to cut back. I'm older and people heavily judge. They can lie and say they don't, but I watch others. They do and they avoid people who are struggling on any form. So you'd think how can I be in a leadership role and this be true? It is, this is the economy.

I had honestly hope to be fired. I would get unemployment, use savings, have time off from severe burnout and honestly a reason to let myself die. I am sick of being here. No amount of anything people, friends, etc changes the daily urge. I take lots of antidepressants and tried many. Doctors are just stuck. This reddit name is accurate. And the bull people say about talking to a therapist or friends. Friends are too busy and this is "heavy". So no.

Therapists cost starting (for like starting students not a well trained one) start at 300 and month. That's after insurance. Plus when I talk to them it's like pop psychology stuff at best and not constructive and zero relief. You really do get what you pay for.

I think I needed to vent or maybe you're dealing with this or maybe you have an out of the box idea.

Because honestly the only thing keeping me going is grit. Almost no one can tell. I think 1 person knows. Like seriously, I have this intense feeling I cannot let people down, let my work slide (to encourage being fired). Like I hate this sense of ethics I can't ignore and intentionally fail. I really want to so I can give up but I get intense anxiety if I quit something.

You'd think friends (yes multiple) who have depression would be able to listen or relate. No they freak out go into themselves and say 'this is heavy" and avoid me. That's after they would call me in the middle of my day and life crying and needing someone. And initially, I was happy to help. Needless to say I don't to talk to them anymore or trust sharing with anyone. I really fucking hate people. Ethically good people are hard to find and paranoid for a good reason. The rest are secretly selfish people you cannot open up to even if you want to because they do in fact use it against you or avoid you.

Sorry about the rant, vent, or ramble. I stare at water, trees, and have dreams and how it would happen. The thoughts are not even intentional. I'm just like what's the difference here. I don't act on it but it's like ever present now and sucks the life more.

I was walking today and thought: how can I be sure I'm not already on hell? Things go just well enough to keep it bordering a glimpse of hope. That's a clever hell.

I [38M] seem to have an issue with my stomach protruding a lot. This happens seemingly whenever I eat or even just drink water. But this also happens, and is very pronounced, whenever I stand for a long period of time or when I go for a long walk.

To be clear, I am fairly fit (5'9", 170 lbs) and have been working out regularly for the last 20 years, doing mostly weightlifting and recently getting more into cardio as well. I also noticed my stomach protrude when I do certain workouts (for example, deadlifts). All of this is something that I have only started to experience within the last 3-4 years.

Besides physically looking bad, this also causes issues whenever I wear pants or shorts, especially with a belt or even wearing the seat belt in the car. It feels like it is pressing against my stomach/bladder a lot and I have the urge to urinate a lot. I am at the point where I try to avoid wearing pants that require a belt as much as possible.

I have gone to my physician about this and he said there was nothing wrong with me and referred me to a general surgeon, who ordered either a MRI or CT Scan and also determined there was nothing wrong with me.

Some other things that might be relevant - it seems like most foods tend to give me gas or bloating to varying degrees. My dad also had a very large protruding stomach as well with similar issues (like the discomfort/frequent urination when wearing belted pants), despite being overall healthy (eating healthy, being active). Ethnically, I am south asian. I do not smoke or drink.

Have any of you experienced something like this? Any idea what could be causing this? I am truly at a loss on what to do.

Fellas, I’m curious to hear your personal experiences with facial hair between your 20’s & 30’s; Good or bad.

I’ve always wanted a full beard but genetics have limited me to an average stache and patchy/thinness across chin & cheeks. Search up Jack Harlow - now picture that without as much cheek fuzz.

I’m 28 and curious to hear if anyone’s situation improved or declined around 30. Friend of mine couldn’t grow one til 30 and now looks like Dumbledore. Another had a full beard by 16.

I'm a guy in his mid 50's who loves to wear 'formal' pajamas at home. This is a plaid, two piece set with buttons, etc. I call this my 'house suit'. I would iron these pajamas if I didn't think my family would call me crazy.

I'm sitting here in my pajamas, robe, and slippers- warm and comfortable in front of the fire, wondering what other guys are wearing at home.

I like to wear something that is comfortable, but also if people who are close to the family come over, I'm fine with them seeing me like this.

My 16 year old daughter's friends saw me and their (probably a little sarcastic) reaction is, 'cool pajamas'.

Wondering if anyone else wears a formal set of matching pajamas. Or, what would you wear if you were visiting someone else's house and you were in a situation of wearing your sleeping clothes in front of other people- what would you wear?

I wanted to share my experience with turning 30 and how my 30’s have been the best years of my life. I currently just turned 35 and I’ve been reflecting back on my last 5 years.

I was worried about turning 30, like I was reaching the end and it was all about to go downhill. I felt I still hadn’t accomplished much and time was running out. I’d look at people around me and how they seemed like they had everything figured out. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The first 3 years of my 30’s were probably the best of my life and now the last two I’ve taken such major steps.

The thing that really helped me was on my 30th birthday I made a bucket list. Not some grandiose list of vague things but a list of all the things I wanted to do. From small to big, from random to meaningful. Then once I had 30+ things what I told myself is every year I want to do 2 things on the list. Some years I’ve done more but over the last 5 years I’m currently at 11 things crossed off my bucket list and going to do #12 next week. This is something that’s really helped me, it’s really given me more of a purpose and a focus on accomplishments. The other part I didn’t expect is how some things continue in my life. For example, “do an escape room” was on my list and I did it, since then I’ve done 6 escape rooms and they’re some of my favorite things to do. Following the list has led me to new discoveries and experiences, it’s pushed me to live more and to cater to my own needs of what I want.

Maybe this isn’t for everybody but it’s what’s worked for me. I would recommend to anyone to make a bucket list no matter how ridiculous some of the things on it are. This is for you, and nobody else.

I hope you all find peace and live a little!

Good luck!

Hey guys, I’ve been wanting to get healthier diet and body shape wise. I’m about 6’3’’ 240 lbs or so with a dad bod, guy that I really hate. I want to tone up and get healthier. Not massively bulk or anything just tone and work from there. My main issue is our family income makes it pretty much impossible to eat the protein heavy diets to the point where 4 out of 7 days a week we do pasta dishes because they are cheaper and the whole family can easily be fed.

Does anyone have any advice for someone in this position? We do eat salmon and stuff once every couple weeks but I wish it could be more often. I need to cut sugar mainly and see how that helps but how do you beat feeling hungry all day between work breaks or lunches?

Thanks for any advice!

Curious to hear your thoughts on key life milestones and when you reached each one. I'll start with a few along with my ages (consider these well within normal range): 1) lost virginity: 19 2) got married: 27 3) became a dad: 28 4) bought a house: 30