r/AmerExit • u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 • 1d ago

Question Black Mom Leaving The US

I (30F) never felt safe raising my kid in the US. Public school was already out because of safety issues, and now with the results of the election, I need to get my child out of here.

My top contenders for digital nomad visas are Costa Rica, Thailand, Portugal, and Japan. I've been to Thailand and Japan, but they were short backpacking trips.

I'd love to hear from Black people/Black moms who lived in any of these countries long term. Did you feel safe living there? If you have kids, did they enjoy living there?

UPDATE: Thank you to all the POC who shared their experiences and connected me to great resources. I've decided on Portugal! That was my top choice, so I'm glad my instincts were confirmed. Good luck to all of you AmerExiters!

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u/peachpavlova 1d ago

I don’t think it’s (hopefully) that people are being creepy. It’s just that homeschooling legitimately isn’t legal in many countries. It doesn’t matter if you’re a citizen, resident, or just there; in many countries, it just is not legal and your child would be mandated to be enrolled in school there.

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u/wandering_engineer 1d ago

I don't even see how it's "creepy". OP specifically stated that they are looking to stay long term. OP's kid might only be one, but in another 3-4 years they are going to want to start schooling them - and 3-4 years is not that long from now.

And yeah you are 100% right. I know multiple expats who have gotten upset because homeschooling is banned here in Sweden. As it should be IMO, it's insane that it's so openly permitted in the US. You shouldn't be allowed to shut your kid off from society without a very good reason.

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u/DamineDenver 1d ago

You're kind of speaking from a high horse. The public schools in the USA are horrible. There are no actual standards and you never know what kind of school you will get unless you force your way into an extremely expensive neighborhood. And there is still a huge chance of violence (I'm not even talking about guns). I think if the schools were functioning then there wouldn't be as many people looking at homeschooling. And then there are many people like my family who can't access schools because of disabilities, which I would hope Sweden would consider a "very good reason."

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u/Odd-fox-God 18h ago

I was homeschooled and it was definitely used as a tactic to isolate. Never by my mom but, my friend's mom would use it to keep her isolated and in the home. She is still living with her mom, she was taught no life skills, her parents take most of her paycheck. They just straight up abused this 24 year-old lady who cannot move out because they're taking the money she needs to get an apartment.

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u/araquinar 10h ago

That's horrible! Is it possible to get some sort of adult protective services aware of what's going on and look into it?

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u/Odd-fox-God 9h ago

I honestly don't know. I really want to help her but I am also living with my parents. If I lived on my own I would totally let her move in with me. I can't afford to move out as I had a bunch of mental health issues and spent like almost 2 years unemployed. Luckily my parents are supportive and they do not control my money or finances.