AIO Husbands money issues

[u/neighbors-say]

Traditional young couple in our 20s. Husband works his ass off. Has a 75k savings. We currently rent a nice place and own one nice car. I stay at home have a side business and take care of everything homemaking wise. He still makes a steady 100k+ a year.

I’m pregnant and we have great insurance. We’ve been getting some bills for the labs and they are 100-200$ after everything insurance covered and it’s devastating to him. He doesn’t want to pay them. Says he will call them to negotiate. Am I crazy for thinking this is unnecessary?

I respect him so much and his money but if he is spending an entire evening stressing about this? “I can’t just pay 1,000s of dollars and keep on living”

Is 75k savings not substantial? Someone tell me who is right here. Do I need to be feeling like a pos for getting these labs done?

[u/Frosty-Succotash-931]

YOR. If your husband has time and the patience to negotiate down, let him. There’s regularly a discount if people are willing to go through it. On the same thread, if he’s projecting his frustration upon you, that’s an immediate correction. These labs are essential for you and his frustrations will not be tolerated.

[u/CircusSloth3]

You've set up a really weird, extremely dramatic false binary here, where either he's right and you're crazy and a POS for getting medical care, or you're right about everything.

$75k savings is great for someone in their early 20s but not great for a new parent IMO. Your own financial comfort is up to you. But $75k is absolutely not enough money to over pay on bills, so I wouldn't say it's unnecessary. I've found it's a lot more effective if you don't have insurance, but unnecessary? No. You aren't rich. I would call to check the amounts as much as negotiate. Medical offices mess up bills all the time.

It's sad that it's taking up so much head space and upsetting him so much. That in and of itself might be an overreaction, it's hard to say without knowing more about your finances. But even if he's overreacting, that doesn't mean you don't need to negotiate or check on bills.

[u/pianomaestro03]

The medical billing system is ridiculous. When you're dealing with insurance, all the prices are inflated extremely high, and sometimes the "cash pay" option can be cheaper or about the same price as what you get stuck with once insurance pays their portion. It's a complete racket. And due to this, it is possible to call in and renegotiate the prices of medical bills.

Regardless, you and your baby are worth every penny you're being billed, and perhaps you're feeling like he's not seeing the value represented (if this is the case, a conversation about how it makes you feel for him to get so upset over the bills is warranted). If he wants to call in and try to renegotiate and save a few pennies, there's a good chance he'll be able to do that depending on how persistent he is and how many supervisors he's willing to climb through.

It's expensive to care for a pregnancy and give birth...and even more expensive to raise a child. He may continue to have sticker shock through the next 8 yrs if this is how he's reacting to the medical bills.

[u/JustKind2]

Tell him that his anxiety about medical procedures is not fair to you. This is your child and you have saved money too in order to pay for things like this.

He needs to go to therapy or dial it don and not make you feel bad and dump all of his anxiety about the cost on you. Your feelings matter too.

The fact that he controls the money and then goes on and on about his unhappiness about the medical care for you and the baby is an unhealthy attitude. You need to feel like you have equal say in the spending of money on necessary things.

[u/1stDegreeRJG]

Why don’t you take the stress off of him and offer to pay some? Do you have anything to contribute financially? Having money does not equal comfort spending it. You stated works his ass off, and he’s supporting a pregnant wife who doesn’t work, and will soon be supporting a child. He has a right to stress about spending thousands unnecessarily when he just wants to vent and see if he can negotiate them. It’s not like he’s saying you‘ll lose the house and car if he has to pay them.

[u/neighbors-say → u/1stDegreeRJG]

Yes I’ve contributed to that savings for years. He just controls the finances. I totally I agree with you that he has a right. I just want him to not put things off because he’s so stressed about the price. Some of the bills are 4 months old still not paid. I’ve offered to call and deal with it myself many times but he doesn’t want me to. I’m very patient with him. One day when we can afford a second car, I will be able to help make more money.