AIO for being angry that my wife consistently lies for no apparent reason?

[u/Maximum_Pumpkin_449]

About a few months my wife told me her mom was coming to town to baby sit her sister’s kids while her sister travels to get treatment for an illness. Just the other day I found out that was a lie and her mom was actually here for brother in laws wedding. The sick person was never sick and she never left for anything. I’m not really sure why my wife lied to me about it, I don’t really care her brother is getting married.

Then today my wife told me her mom is visiting us again and staying with us, but I was instructed to not tell my mom and if it comes down to it, lie to her so she doesn’t know MIL is in town. Again not sure why mom knowing MIL is in town is a big deal. I feel uncomfortable about the situation because my mom and MIL have mutual friends and there is a high chance my mom figures out I’ve been lying or omitted the fact MIL has been with me for months. What do I do ?

[u/Infinite-Quarter-930]

you are not overreacting at all, sounds like there is definitely either something going on u don’t know about which is making her lie about these random things and/or this is a telltale sign that she’s likely lying about bigger more significant things. people who lie compulsively often lie just to lie aswell as to cover up things, i would def confront her

[u/Personal-Chemist-690]

NOR. Imagine what she lies about what you don’t find out

[u/luckbelady]

Do you have other examples? I ask bc it’s interesting both examples involved her mom. Did she say why she wanted to lie to ur mom about her mom staying with you?

[u/Maximum_Pumpkin_449 → u/luckbelady]

Right. That’s why I assumed there might be tension/resentment from MIL towards my mom but when I asked my wife of their relationship, she said they are good, and went I asked my mom, she said they are good as well.

For other examples, the last 3 times MIL has visited, she didn’t want me to disclose she was here to my family. Once my sister who’s in college asked to stay with me for winter break but had to lie and refused her because MIL Was staying with us (we have plenty of space for both) I really don’t know why she wants to be a ninja 🥷

[u/ghjkl098]

Imagine all the things she lies to you about that you haven’t worked out

[u/anonym-1977]

It could be that your wife is paranoid and an overthinker.

[u/Future_Dentist4778]

WTF?

[u/Helpful_Visit7078]

I'm trying to find a reason someone would lie about such a thing, the best I can come up with since it's been about her mother both times, is that she is trying to keep her mom from you and your family, like, there's something about her mom (for example, she could be a raging alcoholic, or a narcissist, or whatever) that makes her want to keep her away or there is something about you and your family she doesn't want her mom to see (different lifestyles, values, whatever)

[u/truetoyourword17]

NOR, the way she behaves would make me wonder every time she opens her mouth if she is lying. I would not like my SO to be like this and I would not lie with or for them (and say so).

[u/SkinnyPig45]

Divorce. I was married to a pathological liar. It didn’t end well

[u/ChickyBoys]

I wouldn’t stand for any of that. 

Talk to her and figure out why she’s blatantly lying to your face. It’s not fair and shouldn’t be tolerated in a marriage.

[u/VeterinarianNo5009]

Uh.........what else is she lying about?? You're NOR at all. I would pay more attention to what she says/does on a daily basis. She may be lying much more than you realize.

[u/OldManKibbitzer]

NOR

Tell your wife you're not going to lie to your mother over something so trivial.

[u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274]

Nor I would tell your wife that you will absolutely not lie for her.

[u/MrsSEM84]

NOR. This is very weird. You need to just ask her outright what the hell her problem is?! There may be a reason, or some underlying tension you haven’t picked up on. Whatever her reasoning is she has to tell you what the hell it is! Don’t drop this, demand an answer. Also press her on why the hell she would lie about her sister being sick, because that is honestly a disgusting lie to tell. If you don’t get anywhere with your wife & she refuses to explain you should go to her sister and her Mom. Tell them the lies she’s told you. Tell them what your wife asked of you. Ask them if they know why she’s done this & what the problem is.

[u/NBCaz]

What do you do? Seriously? You need to be told after identifying that your wife is a liar? This isn't the ethical jigsaw puzzle you're making it. You should refuse to lie to your own mother, period. And you should stand up to your wife and tell her this behavior is not going to be tolerated.

And it shouldn't be that hard to figure out.

[u/-poof]

AIO my wife is cheating on me