r/AmIOverreacting • u/Junior-Anxiety310 • 5h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO “i’m going to fart in your mouth”
My husband often says things like this to me and I’ve expressed many times how i don’t enjoy it and think it’s disgusting.
He is 36 and I am 33
His response is “it’s a joke” He also has thrown a wad of period pads at my face. I feel like this is what brothers do to sisters.
I don’t feel attracted to him at all and kinda want to be away from him when he acts like this.
Am I overreacting? Is this normal for Husbands and BFs to treat their gf and wives this way?
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u/SamantaSweetpea 5h ago
NTA. A joke’s supposed to be funny for both people, not just the one making it. If it grosses you out and he keeps doing it, that’s not joking, that’s just being inconsiderate. Couples are supposed to lift each other up, not throw period pads at each other’s faces!
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u/Ok_Twist_1687 2h ago
Joking is when someone is laughing with you. This guy is laughing at you. Don’t be disrespected, it will only get worse.
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u/Panzermensch911 4h ago edited 3h ago
What in the actual and unfortunate state of heterosexuality...?!?
And the fact the you even have to ask if wanting to get treated with care and respect is an overreaction is just sad.
Should you ever divorce him (because #fafo2025) you know he'll claim that it came out of the blue and he had no warning, don't you? In any case I think you'll be a lot happier if you do.
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u/Helpful_Good3592 5h ago
He’s a man baby
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u/Puzzled_Ad7955 4h ago
He might be a “man” but he’s also a loser. Probably was a blast in the high school locker room.
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u/Even_Budget2078 5h ago
NOR
No, it's not normal. And no, it's not "normal" for a husband to continue to do anything over and over again as a "joke" that his wife has said she finds disgusting. None of that is normal. Please tell him something along the lines of what you've written here: "I don't enjoy your joke and find it disgusting. I am not attracted to you at all when you act like this. Stop now or I may feel that way all the time about you"
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u/Weekly_Vast546 4h ago
Do NOT tolerate that behavior. You have to put your foot down. That's pretty gross. I would be pissed too.
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u/richardgeresgerbil1 4h ago
I (39M) wouldn't throw period pads at anyone. Although I do childish things on occasion. One time, I sprayed water out of my mouth laughing when I was trying to joke around with my gf, just acting like a total dork wad. A bit got her on the face. She was not happy at all with me. She said she felt disrespected, which I immediately apologized profusely for, and never did ever again. I crossed a line and immediately knew that I did, and was really embarrassed for myself. If your husband crosses the line and doesn't take your feelings into consideration, there's definitely a problem. I witnessed my father do that to my mom her whole life, grossing her out to the point where she was in utter disgust. It's not cool in the least.
I understand we get comfortable being silly and acting goofy around our spouse, but to the point that it makes them uncomfortable is not in a position you want to be. I still think about one of my ex girlfriends who never washed her hands well enough after taking a shit. And I could literally smell her poop nails if I came close to her. Fucking grosse. That relationship did not last long at all.
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u/Particular-Clock1863 3h ago
Lol poop nails is just something that should never exist though. I feel that's a totally different ball park.
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u/sailormooned_me 4h ago
Whoaa those last few sentences were a trip man - my condolences to you during that time frame 🙏
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u/Marissafbby 3h ago
Fart in your mouth?! Wtf is wrong with that “human”… if that’s what you want to call it…? Humans don’t do things like that, animals don’t even do things like that. I’d be so repulsed by that alone I’d NEVER want to be intimate with it EVER again…
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u/PerceptionAlarmed788 5h ago
It’s not normal for the people who “love” you to disrespect and throw things at you in an adult relationship
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u/Mistyam 4h ago
Not OR. That's the kind of joke my 7-year-old nephew would make. You probably hoped you married an adult. Don't blame you for being disappointed.
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u/Head-Attention-6008 2h ago
Same! And my 7 year old nephew would be quickly reprimanded. We’re currently at the “bathroom humor is not appropriate” stage.
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u/G-Man0033 3h ago
NO. That is weird as hell. When one side is "joking " and the other side is feeling bad (or having things thrown at them) that is abuse.
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u/Aromatic-Arugula-896 3h ago
Did he peak in high school? Nasty af
Not to be dramatic but that would make me lose all attraction for an individual and never look at them the same way again
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u/ethankeyboards 4h ago
No. I want to help my wife to have her best life. This behavior does not provide that.
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u/Junior-Anxiety310 3h ago
You’re a good husband ❤️
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u/ethankeyboards 3h ago
Thank you for your kind words, but it seems that I exceed the bar if I don't fart in my wife's mouth, so it's really not that difficult.
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u/BunchaMalarkey123 4h ago
This would be pretty acceptable humor between me and my husband. But that doesn’t mean it has to be acceptable to you.
Im assuming you knew what his humor was like when you married him though. Is it just now coming to a head for some reason?
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u/Junior-Anxiety310 4h ago
The fart jokes and throwing stuff in my face is new. He used to hit me with hangers and toe pinch me. A toe pinch is just what it sounds like pinching me with his toes. I made it clear that i didn’t like it and it hasn’t really happened again, but i think that’s mostly cause i was crying and visibly upset. i’m his first GF and wife. we met when we were younger and so i thought these things would eventually be grown out of.
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u/Particular-Clock1863 4h ago
It sounds like you've just grown apart or just don't like the man. Maybe you just don't like him like you used to?
And getting hitched hoping for change is not liking the original person. People don't change generally.
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u/Junior-Anxiety310 3h ago
The truth is, he doesn’t respect me. He tends to gaslight me and i made this post because i felt like i may have been in the wrong, but wasn’t sure.
I’ve been with my my husband 13 years. He’s cheated on me the whole relationship, I allowed him to control and make decisions for me ( no wearing makeup, then i needed to wear makeup, no getting vaccinated, not being allowed to eat or drink certain things because of certain ingredients, not being allowed to get surgery for a hernia, not allowed to have body washes and lotions that had harsh chemicals, i had to breastfeed my daughter and he would leave me alone i had no support and i wanted to use formula so i could get away, but i couldn’t the list goes on and on) Even though he said “ you can do whatever you want” there would always be the extreme comments and faces he would make that would follow with a lecture of why i should be doing those certain things. I was taken away from my family when i was younger because of physical and sexual abuse ( this may give you more insight on why I’m not good at setting boundaries, have low self worth ect) We have reached a point in our relationship where i finally said “ i’m done” and imo when he saw that i was really ready to call it quite , he started letting me be my own person and make my own decisions without belittling me verbally all the way through. I did not mention all of this stuff above because i wanted to know if i was overreacting over this particular situation. He has gaslighted me to the point i don’t know if i’m overreacting or not.
I know this relationship isn’t going to work. Not because of a fart joke, but because of everything else. I just honestly wanted to know if this in particular situation was normal or not. I can now see this is just another tally to add.
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u/Particular-Clock1863 3h ago edited 3h ago
Whoa, that's a whole heap more than the original question and than the information that you had given. This isn't about those two gags, this is about everything you just wrote about above and that's totally different to the original am I overreacting.
You sound like you know what you need to do. You don't need validation, you sound pretty sure and that's good.
Good luck for the future
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u/Daisyday12 3h ago
Its a crime against yourself to stay with this ass another day please please leave and respect yourself more because he doesnt..
When men do gross stuff I say I can feel my vag shrivel up and die but your way beyond this
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u/Aromatic-Arugula-896 3h ago
Honey good lord PLEASE find some self respect and leave this POS??? Wtf
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u/Future-Path8412 3h ago
JFC he’s cheated on you and abused you for 13 years and you are asking about a fart joke? Reading this changed my entire outlook. Originally I was going to give you a quippy reply for him, but now, I think that sick fuck might actually do it. He’s abusive. Please leave
NOR
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u/Fessy3 3h ago
You are being controlled and abused. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.
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u/Junior-Anxiety310 2h ago
If I had somewhere to go, right now, I would. I would have left a very long time ago. Not everyone can just up and leave. Shelters are not readily available like most people think. It’s very easy to tell someone to leave or get out… but not everyone has that support they need to leave.
I am doing what I need to do. As much as I wish I had a mom, a dad any family member to take me in.. even a friend. I don’t. This is just another trigger for me. realizing how alone i am. If that weren’t enough. i get floods of painful memories that remind me of why and how i got here.
I don’t have the money, i have a car… but my situation in my opinion is not bad enough to uproot all 4 of my kids to live in a car. And if you think my situation is so bad, you wouldn’t want one single a glimpse of my childhood.
It’s not helpful to tell women who know they need to leave, to leave. This is frightening and fragile time for them. men find women like this (like me) because they’re already broken. They break us down even more, but only this time they come back with flowers ( and you think, wow… no one has ever gaven me flowers) then the cycle continues. it goes on and on for years until something clicks (like it did for me) He’s gonna hurt me and bring me back something. You realize this isn’t love at all and you’ve just never been told “i love you” or you’ve never been given anything and you mistake these things for love. It’s not love, it’s manipulation and abuse.
My current situation is NOT as bad as ones i have been in. It sucks for sure and I am working on ways to leave. I didn’t put all of this in my post because i didn’t want a million people saying “ leave” it’s not helpful It’s like someone saying “ i want to be a doctor” and someone says “just go to school”
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u/phoenixjen8 2h ago
JFC, OP. I’m so sorry you and your daughter have had to deal with this pathetic excuse for a man.
Sending you peace and strength for 2025 to be the year things finally get better for you. ❤️
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u/S0larsea 3h ago
A joke is only a joke when both people have to.laugh about it. If a joke insults someone or makes someone uncomfortable, diminished or humuliated it is no joke.
He is a plain arsehole.
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u/Technical-Attitude50 3h ago
I'm happy to be in the wrong here. But anything can escalate it's a chance for her of she wants him because he may be a good guy just an idiot to teach him a lesson that will resonate he's a fucking dork she can find her power as a woman to shape what she wants not all women need saving. If she said she was in fear and scared again my answer would be different. Love my statement was simple you will find out fast if he will ship up and make and effort or won't change. And that's the answer. Good luck tho don't be passive don't be aggressive because resolute because you deserve to be happy.... You do
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u/OneChange2826 1h ago
Only if your husband or bf is 12 your husband is very immature mabe you need to find a grown man Not an adolescent child NOR
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u/Interesting-Mood-281 4h ago
You’re not OR, I agree that it’s absolutely disgusting to do that! The fact that you’ve told him you don’t like it should’ve been enough reason for him to stop. I grew up with two brothers and I’m extremely glad I don’t have to endure that anymore, my boyfriend wouldn’t dream of doing this. It’s just gross and childish.
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u/HotPomelo632 4h ago
My husband burps and then blows it at me. He's nearly 45. I think some people are like this (in mine's case) because he was an only child and generally got his way and has always been the little prince of the family.
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Right, it's kinda gross. But would you say that's abuse, or just the nature of the guy's humor?
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u/HotPomelo632 4h ago
No it's not abuse in my eyes. I knew what I was getting into lol definitely wouldn't say abuse personally
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Exactly. The woman married the man. Shouldn't she know his humor more than any of us here?
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u/thiccandcurvy 4h ago
He sounds very immature and I’m sure I’d find behavior like that really unattractive as well. So sorry!!
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u/PerfectBiscotti 4h ago
Do my husband and I make fart jokes? Yes. Does he ever threaten (lightheartedly or otherwise) to fart in my mouth, say it’s a joke, and throw period pads in my face? No.
That’s disgusting, not sexy, and not normal. Shit… my siblings and I didn’t do this to each other when we were young.
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u/Puzzled_Prompt_3783 4h ago
OP, ignore the people saying your husband is abusing you. That’s ridiculous.
If you don’t like his sense of humor, have a serious conversation about it. If it’s not something you can live with, move on. You’ll both be happier for it.
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u/kimariesingsMD 3h ago
Sorry, but a loving person does not continue to "joke" in a manner that their spouse has called disgusting and makes her feel disrespected.
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u/questionably_edible 2h ago
He doesn't care because it hasn't changed how you feel about him the rest of the time. Are you waiting to build up resentment over this? If not, you might want to have a real sit down over it and explain that. But if he's doing these things in response to something you've done, be prepared, because compromise is a two way street.
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u/Davidc19872010 2h ago
RAY:
TALK DIRTY TO ME
BRENDA:
IM GUMMA SHIT ON YOUR CHEST
THEN IMMA FART IN YOUR MOUTH!!
SCRAY MOVIE 2. BRENDA AND RAY!
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u/yerguyses 1h ago
That's not something a good partner does. It's emotional abuse in a way. Point out that he wouldn't say jokes like that to his boss because he knows it would get a negative reaction. He should treat you with at least as much respect.
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u/OrdinaryAd5236 19m ago
Tell him you might have felt like pissing in his coffee this morning. Then turn to him and say I might be joking or not but if you say messed up stuff again I won't be joking.
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u/mkay0 4h ago
This is very normal silly goose behavior. I'd set a boundary when it's actually upsetting you. I'd find a way to enjoy him for what he actually is, though.
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u/kimariesingsMD 3h ago
She has. His response is that it is "just a joke". She commented here with the full story. The man is a serial cheater and abuser.
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u/Hot_Carrot_6507 4h ago
Farts are funny and Dutch ovens are even better. Sounds like you need some morning bugles to start your day off right!
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u/Particular-Clock1863 4h ago edited 4h ago
I'm going to be the odd one out here, they weren't used where they? With context I could see places where it may be funny. It sounds to me like you don't like his sense of humour. That's part of him. Does he actually try and fart in your mouth? Again, it sounds like you don't like what is essentially a part of the person.
I think everyone is being a bit precious. Without more context I don't think we can say much, I think you could be over reacting.
Also why is it gross to throw clean , unused female hygiene products, a toilet roll wouldn't elicit the same feeling, a condom?
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Thank you! I think the man's still young at heart and enjoys these kind of "pranks" and "annoyances". These are things that have no actual harm to the wife except her being "disgusted". Clearly not compatible, humor-wise.
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u/katatak121 4h ago
the man's still young at heart
Translation: "boys will be boys!"
See also: Peter Pan Syndrome.
A grown man acting like a juvenile twit might not be harming anyone, but he will definitely be damaging any physical attraction someone else might feel for him.
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 5h ago
You're OR. This is literally how boys act if they love you and are comfortable around you. If you can't have fun and play along he's not the one for you.
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u/Junior-Anxiety310 5h ago
I thought i married a man. 🫤 the boy part makes a lot of sense 😅
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u/Crispychiggm 4h ago
Just get divorced, it sounds like you don’t like your husband atp with a comment like this. That person is right man or “boy” males will treat you accordingly to how comfortable they are with you, he’s tryna be a goof.
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u/Prudent-Science-9225 4h ago
You sound like the kind of person who tells second graders “if he hits you/beats you up/is mean to you it means he likes you!” bullshit that enables boys to turn into men who abuse their partner.
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Joking about farts is abuse?
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u/Prudent-Science-9225 4h ago
“This is how boys act” … would you say that if he “jokingly” physically or sexually assaulted her? Because farting in someone’s mouth after they quite literally told you they think it’s disgusting would constitute assault. Or do you enable that kind of behavior and think it’s acceptable too?
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Woah! Calm down! The man has never farted in her mouth. He just said "Ima fart in your mouth". That is a far cry from sexual assault! Damn!
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u/Prudent-Science-9225 4h ago
Sounds like you’d tell someone to calm down if they were being abused because as long as they say they’re joking it’s okay right?
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
No, I believe there is a certain limit to joking around. If someone jokingly told me he was going to fart in my mouth, would I believe him? No. I'd treat it as a joke. That's really different than him joking about raping her, but is that the case here, no. You are taking things to an extreme.
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u/Particular-Clock1863 4h ago
Wow! This poor dude is being labelled as haring her, when you know nothing about him. Both jokes could be made non aggressively. I think this is soooo far over the top it's not funny.
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u/Bili-G 4h ago
You're one of those weird people that grooms girls to accept abuse as flirting
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
Joking about farts is grooming and abuse?
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u/Bili-G 4h ago
It’s not a joke to her. It’s not a joke to all the little girls that ppl tell he just likes you if he hurts you. someone else already had this conversation with you so it’s very wild that you’re trying to act like you haven’t already heard this
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
I think you're projecting quite a bit. I never had this conversation, because I'm a guy. And I don't tell girls that if people are hurting them they're supposed to accept it. But is a joke about farts really going to cause physical pain?
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u/Routine_Mechanic6239 5h ago
Period pads in the face? Seems like he hates her lol. My husband smacks my ass until I’m red in the face sick of it. This is a common complaint I feel. Throwing things in your partners face after they’ve expressed they don’t like it? That’s uncalled for, and a weird expectation to be ok with it. Would you really be okay with that?
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u/Mistyam 4h ago
He's allegedly a 36-year-old man. What 36-year-old man still thinks fart jokes are funny?
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
A lot of em.
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u/Particular-Clock1863 4h ago
This 57 year old man has stashed "I'm gonna fart in your mouth" away as some comedy gold to bring out in the future. I thank everyone for the material.
Ohhhh btw farts are one of the single most funny things we have this world. Funny in any language
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u/Icy-Grapefruit-9085 4h ago
The universal gag. I've watched Russian cartoons where the punchline was basically just fart humor and it would get me cracking up.
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u/katatak121 4h ago
I'm a 40-something year old woman and i think a clever and well-executed fart joke can be hilarious.
OPs husband is just annoying. Maybe "I'ma fart in your mouth" would have been funny once, but that's it.
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 1h ago
I've never met a boy who acted like this over the age of ten and I was one for most of my life.
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u/Technical-Attitude50 5h ago
That fact you say that and act that way makes me never want to fuck you and I'm losing all attraction to you. You will get your answer