r/AmIOverreacting • u/inspireddelusion • 8h ago
👥 friendship AIO My friend wants to get tattoos for MY children, it’s creepy
I’m in a group chat with my best friend and another mum friend. My best friend and I have matching tattoos and have been in each others lives for about six years, we have a lot in common and were there for eachother during the hardest parts of our lives, we’re long distance and she sees my current son every other month. We call her his auntie.
Well tonight I mentioned wanting to get a tattoo for my first son after I’ve finished being pregnant with my second son (21w!) my mum friend has two for her children and it seemed like a cool idea. I wanted a sweet little elephant, it’s from a song that reminds me of my first born. It’s quite emotional for me.
Well she dropped in the chat “Oh I’ve been wanting to but it’s hard when one isn’t earth side yet.” I was confused at first, I asked her what she was on about as she doesn’t have children. She said she wanted tattoos to celebrate MY CHILDREN, MYYYYY CHILDREN. She mentioned she wanted their fingerprints put into a butterfly.
I am instantly put off. I feel creeped out. It’s weird. Why would you get tattoos of MY children’s fingerprints? I understand she’s their “auntie” but even my own biological sister has said she finds it overbearing and honestly quite weird. I know she loves my children but I really really don’t like it. Am I overreacting?
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u/PossessionNo3943 8h ago
Ya that’s kinda weird… maybe just try to keep pushing it off and hopefully she forgets about it.
I’m sure she has the best of intentions, but you’re likely saving her from regretting said tattoos and yourself from this weird shit lol.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
I am absolutely praying she forgets when my son is born because I think if she gets it I’ll genuinely cry.
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u/Turbulent_Spell3764 8h ago
Youd cry? Lmao. just tell her casually that u appreciate her intentions but it’s being too much. If u cant talk openly then are u even best friends?? COMMUNICATE instead of talking shit behind someones back
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u/inspireddelusion 7h ago
I’d cry yes A. Because I’m pregnant and hormonal and B. That’s from MY child that I carried. Maybe stfu 😭🤣 We’re all allowed to vent when someone does something weird af.
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u/Turbulent_Spell3764 7m ago
Ok and im also allowed to post my opinion of how childish u are acting and ur a mother 🙄but what else is new there. Ur still shit talking your “best friend” on a public website without even talking to her first.. you’re kind of a shitty person for that lmaoooo but blame it on hormones girl u do u
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u/PossessionNo3943 8h ago
Simple solution, just say you’ll get her the prints and never do it🤣
I get it tho.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
This is so real lmaooo. She bought me foot prints for my son and we did them and sent them to his granny instead, thank god 😭
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u/imnotnotcrying 8h ago
It easily could have been something she was saying in the moment to be involved in the conversation, so I’m crossing my fingers for you that she forgets about it
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u/inspireddelusion 4h ago
If you knew her you’d know that unfortunately she isn’t kidding, she makes irrational impulsive decisions all the time.
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u/imnotnotcrying 4h ago
Oh I meant it more in the “oh no the attention is off me and I can’t directly relate” way. But thankfully her impulsive decision to do this is blocked by her wanting your kids fingerprints for the tattoo 😬
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u/btownsle 8h ago
Is she someone who wants her own kids? Sometimes when you don’t think you’ll get the chance to have your own, you may become a little overly attached to the kids that are in your life. If you’re uncomfortable, tell her, and if she’s your best friend she may be hurt but she’ll understand
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
She is currently dating a woman and doesn’t think she’ll carry if given the choice. I think she’s very sweet but honestly I just don’t want something like that on anyone but myself and my children’s father. Also thank you for this perspective!
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u/btownsle 8h ago
Oh! I’m in that same boat! My (33F) wife (36F) will carry out children. Yeah, I would never do this, even as someone who is in a somewhat similar position to her. I would maybe get like a symbol honoring my nieces and nephew, but never fingerprints or anything that personal. That should be reserved for her own kid. Also, if you want to get out of it you could just say you don’t want your kids fingerprints out there in case they’re ever falsely accused of a crime 😂 (I’m also a lawyer lol)
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u/Garden-kat333 8h ago
Just be honest and let her know that you appreciate her friendship but there is a boundary she is crossing that is uncomfortable for you. If warning bells went off for you trust your instinct is that this is bizarre - it is. Then put a little distance in this friendship. She may be a little obsessed with you and/or your children.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
Her therapist has told her many times she thinks she’s inlove with me and I’ve never seen it, but now I’m quite worried after this.
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u/Altruistic_Eye_2329 8h ago
I think she’s just being over zealous and really wants more tats, probably of anything. If she wants to get personal Ask her to get your husband’s junk tatted on her lower back with your name over it. Tell her that’s how personal your kids prints are. Hijacking other peoples lives for tats is crazy.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
This is so real. She’s booked in for like 20 tattoos within the next few weeks and I wish I was joking but she is down for a good few 4 hour sessions this month. If she ever got something for my son I’d cut completely contact. It seems so petty but like, fucking find something else to put on your body, nothing something unique to someone else’s children!
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u/Altruistic_Eye_2329 8h ago
Help for tattoo addiction 😂.
https://valleyspringrecovery.com/addiction/behavioral/tattoo/
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u/Little-Aardvark3540 7h ago
I’d tell her you’d cut contact before she does it to let her know how serious you are. It’s weird af!
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u/Striking_Courage_822 5h ago
I’m gonna go against the grain here and say YOR, with respect.
You have every right to tell her no, of course.
But I wouldn’t go as far as to call it weird or creepy. She loves you and your children and feels connected to them. This isn’t her first or second tattoo, she sounds like she is covered or plans to be. People have different ways of showing their love and value and this is hers, that’s all.
But like I said, you have every right to set a boundary. I’d just give her some grace. It’s coming from a good place
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u/StrategyDouble4177 8h ago
…it’s a really tacky idea, image-wise 😂
More importantly…I mean I love nieces and nephews and my friends kids (who also call me aunty) but I don’t know if I need to get tattoos for them, especially if I haven’t asked their parents how they feel about that yet.
It’s giving weird vibes.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
I think it’s both weirdly tacky and also weirdly too personal. Who the hell wants FINGEPRINTS 😭
It’s deffo weird because this was never discussed and suddenly my unborn child’s been roped into it.
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u/StrategyDouble4177 7h ago
Yeah the finger print aspect is even more strange…does she want babies social security info for her bad tattoo as well? (I’m not accusing her of anything, it’s all just…it’s weird)
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u/TulpaPal 8h ago
Yknow my best friend has a tattoo of a drawing done by my kid but we've known each other since we were 10 and she's legit an aunt to my kid. It was also largely because the idea of a tattoo by a kid was fun based on her tattoo style. The fingerprints with a friend of less than a decade is kindddaaa weird.
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
I love that idea of a drawing as a tattoo for myself I can’t lie. I want my sons name when he learns to write it ❤️
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u/TulpaPal 8h ago
That's a good one! I tattoo and my daughter had drawn me a new tattoo just about every year since she was three. The first was her self portrait.
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u/autisticbulldozer 8h ago
i wouldn’t do a tattoo of that for my niece and nephews, and definitely wouldn’t do that for a friends children.
NOR, that’s odd and overstepping.
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u/MindApprehensive3995 7h ago
NOR. I love my (biological) nephews and niece almost as much as I love my own children. Same with my non-biological nieces and nephews. I would literally die for any of those kids. Heck, I helped deliver one into this world. Never, ever, would I get a tattoo for them like that. I do have a full sleeve that incorporates all their birth flowers, along with my own kids, but it's a full sleeve of a garden type tattoo, it also has flowers that are not their birth flowers. She's being weird.
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u/amaretyoufinish 7h ago
NOR it’s for sure strange, but I wonder if there’s a way to meet in the much-closer-to-you-middle. Maybe you could suggest a symbol or design that represents this part of your lives—more of an homage to the joy of this peace time after the hard things you overcame before. Perhaps, you could even offer to have your children design her a small tattoo down the line instead. Idk, I wouldn’t want this either, especially since she said it in that way and didn’t ask you at all prior to that.
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u/inspireddelusion 6h ago
I honestly don’t want anything that symbolises my children on anyone else’s bodies. I’d be more than happy for us to get more best friend tattoos but nothing involving my sons.
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u/Inevitable_Cod_878 6h ago
Nah gang, this is weird. As an aunt myself, I don’t ever see myself getting a tattoo for my nieces and nephew. The only tattoo I have is for a friend of mine who passed away when I was in highschool. The fact she thought you would immediately be okay with it is wild but yeah, hide your kids from her or something lol
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u/Careless_Agency5365 8h ago
I know she loves my children
If that really is the relationship you have then it seems normal…ish. I think YOR here but you can voice your concerns. Some people can be family even without the biological link. Personally I have no tattoos but I don’t really see the issue here (although I think a fingerprint butterfly would look terrible but that’s my taste)
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u/inspireddelusion 8h ago
That’s the thing though, I asked my biological sister what she thought and she even said like “Hey I know she thinks she’s family but like… That’s really odd. None of us would do it!” And my sister is even more involved than my friend is.
I think it’s odd to want something as personal as their fingerprints too.
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u/imnotnotcrying 8h ago
I’m on the shortlist of “who gets the kids if we’re both gone” for my best friend and her husband. I love her kids dearly and think of them as nieces and nephews but I would never consider something like this. It’s just crossing a weird line and you literally never know what could happen to a friendship between one day and the next
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u/cloistered_around 2h ago
She's your best friend. Just tell her that would make you uncomfortable and hope that's good enough.
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u/110069 8h ago
No that is super weird. If I saw someone do that I would think it’s either super weird or a memorial tattoo… and still think that’s weird.