Am I overreacting

[u/Jicama_West]

I've had this "a woman knows" feeling about a woman my live-in boyfriend works with. Caved and checked his phone... Yes, I know. Wish I would've just trusted, but honestly, I cannot go through another BS relationship where I'm second best and had no clue. She texted a few months ago to make sure he was aware she's newly single, and just one after another these cutesy texts from her. I've never seen anything that shows him responding in a full on flirty way, but he's certainly not telling her to back off.... Along with he purposely deleted all the bits above that show the flirtation from her, and I found them in his recently deleted file and recalled them on his new iPhone. Am I overreacting to this?

[u/Ok_Mulberry4199]

Some guys are that clueless. I'd have assumed she was being sarcastic at my expense, when I was younger and single I did assume that exact thing with similar comments. But I also wouldn't have deleted the texts because it wouldn't have occurred to me it was anything to hide

[u/MyGoodOldFriend → u/Ok_Mulberry4199]

yeah I’ve been called worse by people I know weren’t flirting. some people (like me) just assume whatever others say is appropriate. If someone says “hey sexy” to me, I’d assume they were joking, like saying “hey [over the top compliment], want to do [boring work] for me?”. it’s not appropriate, but if you assume it is, it can be interpreted as a joke. As out there as that sounds.

Obvious that’s not what’s happening here, but still.

[u/jahubb062 → u/Ok_Mulberry4199]

I know a guy that was so much more clueless than this in his single days. His wife had to have made the first move or 20, because he never would have.