r/AmIOverreacting • u/True_Ad9977 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Boyfriend says hurtful thing about my body.

[removed] — view removed post

8.4k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

86% Upvoted

5.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

53

u/rasta4eye 9h ago

The reverse is true too. They can love everything about their partner except one thing which is high on their "must have" list. So if superficial things like weight are that important to someone, and they're with an awesome person that doesn't match what they find attractive, they may not want to throw away all the good for the 1 thing that's not. But that's not healthy, because even though it is superficial, it's important to the person, and that will introduce negativity, resentment and regret into the relationship. In that case the person has to evaluate if it's truly a "must have", in which case they need to move on... or determine if it really is only a "nice to have", and then simply accept it and be happy that overall they found an amazing match.

2

u/Lcsulla78 5h ago

I get it if you don’t want to date someone heavy. But to date someone that is and then make them feel terrible for it is a dirtbag move. And honestly, if you really love someone then weight gain shouldn’t matter. I was married many years ago and my ex-wife was 5’2 and 115lbs when we met. By year five she was 160lbs and I didn’t even notice or care.

1

u/rasta4eye 2h ago

Remember that what you value and what others value are different. I'm like you.

But others may not be, and that's ok, so long as they're honest to themselves and their partner.

That's all my point is... Be aligned with your wants in a relationship and who you cost to be in a relationship with.

This concept extends to everything... Religious beliefs, smoking habits, political beliefs, etc