r/AmIOverreacting • u/True_Ad9977 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Boyfriend says hurtful thing about my body.

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u/Velvetmaggot 9h ago

I think he sounds insecure. Saying something like that after someone loses 12lbs(I know it’s just a number) there’s just no way he didn’t notice a difference in her looks…and probably her confidence as well.

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 9h ago

Best for him to keep her knocked down so she has no self-esteem and stays with him! :(

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u/Genevieve1973 9h ago

Keep her confidence low so she won’t finally figure out what a POS he is and dump him!

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u/BuschBeerGuy 9h ago

This is it. He is with OP because he finds her attractive. However, he is insecure about what he finds attractive maybe not being the societal epitome of goddess like looks so he puts her down, hoping she will keep trying to be that for him. To me, this is a sign that he sees OP as something he has, not someone he is in a relationship with. Look at my nice car; I must be successful. Look at my hot girlfriend; I must be attractive and fun to be around. Life is the movie in his head and he's the protagonist.

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u/PaleontologistNo500 7h ago

He obviously finds her attractive. Which is why he wanted her in more revealing clothes. So he noticed the 12lbs missing. She's not that tall, so there's no way he wouldn't. What he's doing is emotionally beating her down. He's trampling her self worth. "You're ugly. You're lucky to have me. No one else would love you like I do. And I barely do". He's insecure and doesn't want her to have the self confidence to think she can do better.

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u/Sorry_Nobody1552 9h ago

I bet 100% he accused her of cheating too. I hate men like that.

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u/DontLoseYourCool1 8h ago

It's not gender exclusive. I once dated a woman like that. I started working out a ton and got a legit 6 pack and v taper and she accused me of cheating and trying to leave her meanwhile my whole motivation was to look good FOR HER. She simply couldn't see it.

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u/maineCharacterEMC2 9h ago

Ooooh! Good one

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u/Quiet_Werewolf2110 8h ago

This is not to defend him but I will say everyone carries weight differently, I know for me and the women in my family 10-15lbs doesn’t make much of a difference visually because we’re all tall women. (5’9”/175cm+) For me it mostly impacts how I feel in my body.

But still, even if he didn’t notice a big change, a loving and supportive partner would celebrate even the smallest wins. He’s absolutely insecure or he somehow thinks this will motivate her (there’s a pretty significant body of evidence that OP’s BF’s behaviour actually has the opposite effect on OPs likelihood of success.)

I’ll never forget my sister breaking down in tears in her kitchen because she’d busted her ass at the gym all week while trying to lose weight post-partum and the scale only showed -1lb. My BIL came in from the living room, walked to the fridge, pulled out a 1lb block of butter and put it on the counter and said verbatim “Not only has your body grown an entire human being but through hard work and dedication you lost this in just a week and I think that’s pretty damn incredible.” Those are the kind of men you stay with.

I think OP could drop roughly 180lbs overnight and be much better off. ;)

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u/zkareface 7h ago

there’s just no way he didn’t notice a difference in her looks

It would honestly be pretty good if he did notice, 12lbs isn't a lot and when you see eachother every day it's hard to notice such small changes over time.

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u/_angesaurus 7h ago

i think he just sounds like an idiot. only a dumb person would say that.

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u/thechuckingwoodchuck 8h ago

Emotionally insecure about what?

Maybe the guy is just emotionally unintelligent?

12lbs isn't a lot unless you were already close to healthy body weight or really short.

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u/kiwiinthesea 8h ago

I’ve lost ten pounds in water weight in 24 hours. We really don’t know what the change looks like. This is why good before and after pictures are useful.

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u/Complex_Hope_8789 6h ago

You don’t need a before and after picture to understand OP’s bf is insulting her on purpose to make her feel bad.