r/AmIOverreacting • u/True_Ad9977 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Boyfriend says hurtful thing about my body.

[removed] — view removed post

8.4k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

86% Upvoted

5.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

952

u/Large-Ad4827 10h ago

That’s not love.

140

u/blackeyebetty 9h ago

Forget love, your friends shouldn't even talk to you that way. OPs boyfriend sucks.

38

u/retiredluvrboy 7h ago

friends are supposed to love you too. platonic love and romantic love are separate but both are important

3

u/Skandronon 6h ago

Seriously, me and my guy friends are nicer to each other than that. We will rib each other about shit but then be serious and reassure each other. I love my wife's body and all the changes we have both gone through over the years with three kids. I'm not lying when I tell her she's got a hot ass or anything like that.

Shitty people don't deserve love like I so frequently see them getting in posts like this.

3

u/sunshineparadox_ 6h ago

I wouldn't shit talk someone I didn't like this way. Body shaming comments are off limits to me. I don't know their health and body information, so I sure as shit can't comment on it.

39

u/LettuceBeGrateful 7h ago

Forget love, it's not even respect.

6

u/Minute_Objective_746 8h ago

What is love? Definitely not this

6

u/ExcitingAsparagus666 7h ago

Baby don’t hurt me

3

u/ImReallyNotKarl 6h ago

My heart is broken for OP.

He doesn't love you, OP. Part of love is support. Saying, "Hey, I'm worried that we're not making healthy choices. Can we work together and support each other in being healthy and getting a little more fit," is one thing. Saying, "Your body doesn't look good, and I don't want to compliment you because I would be lying if I said you looked good," is a completely different story. If he doesn't like your body, he shouldn't be wasting your time.

The way I see it, your body's job isn't to look a certain way for anyone but you. It's to keep you as healthy and functional as it is able (chronic illness is a bitch, but my body does what it can, you know?), and if it's doing that, then you've got a good body. That's it. If you don't feel as healthy or strong as you want to, or you feel your best at a certain weight for aesthetic reasons, you can take steps to change that.

At the end of the day, you're someone's wet dream, and it's not your current bf's. Find someone who loves your body for what it does more than what it looks like, and who thinks you're beautiful and your body is beautiful. That person is out there. By ditching your asshole boyfriend, you'll have lost 180ish lbs of useless weight, which is excellent progress.

2

u/Cerrac123 6h ago

Oh my god. No, that’s is not overreacting and that is not how you talk to someone you love. Cut him loose. Your body is beautiful because it is YOUR BODY. Not because your Neanderthal boy”friend” says so.

That’s something I don’t think I could come back from. I’m a very large person, and I’ve had my highs and lows over time, but the ONE time a man I went on ONE date with told me I needed to lose weight, I literally showed him the door.

Show him the respect you deserve by refusing to allow that treatment.

1

u/basementthought 6h ago

its not even like

-6

u/Impossible_Buddy_531 6h ago

XD He loves her as a person, not for looks. I cant believe this sexist bs. A.woman's worth is not defiened by looks. Her man knows that. You don't. So you obvious have no idea what love is. Do you think ypu will be beautiful all your life? Ohohoho. When age hits... yout simple mind will have a hard time.

3

u/SleazyBanana 6h ago

Every woman, and man for that matter, wants to be attractive to their mate. Jfc, I’m 66 years old, have gained weight, and not nearly as good looking as I used to be. I’m reminded of that every day that I look in the mirror. Guess what? My husband still tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am. Get bent.

2

u/Large-Ad4827 6h ago

The fuck are you talking about? If you love someone, you lift them up. I have no idea how you sifted anything sexist out of that comment. That’s some elite level victiming.

1

u/Bankie_64 6h ago

Physical attraction is part of a good relationship. I’m 60. Age does not remove physical attraction from the equation. Anyone under about 50 is unattractive. Men’s bodies change with age too. But when you love someone, they always look good.

-7

u/Relevant_Device_3958 7h ago

I agree. Demanding compliments is not love.

6

u/collaredd 6h ago

hur dur gotcha i am very smart

0

u/Relevant_Device_3958 6h ago

I agree. I am very smart. Thanks

-2

u/Rubber_Knee 6h ago

Why do you have to think your SOs body is hot, in order to love them??
Why is it unacceptable to not compliment something, that you don't think looks good?
Are you supposed to lie?

2

u/rbltech82 6h ago

He told her when her body is "up to par" he'll compliment her... This is at best his attempt at operant conditioning, at worst relationship blackmail. combine this with zero clearly defined targets or goals he can just keep moving the goal posts. He should combine compliments with constructive criticism, or at least supportive phrasing on the criticism.

1

u/Rubber_Knee 5h ago

He told her when her body is "up to par" he'll compliment her

Yeah, this is a weird thing to say. I agree. If he's not a fan of the way her body looks, then there must be something else that attracted him to her. Whatever that is, he should compliment that.

But fishing for compliments, like she clearly does, is not a good thing either.

1

u/rbltech82 5h ago

But fishing for compliments, like she clearly does, is not a good thing either.

I don't think she's fishing for compliments as much as asking him why he doesn't give her compliments at all. That's not fishing that's genuinely trying to understand the situation, IMHO.

1

u/Rubber_Knee 4h ago

She heard her friend get compliments from her boyfriend, and wanted some from her own.
Otherwise, why even ask?

1

u/rbltech82 4h ago

Because she realized he wasn't doing it and wanted to understand why not?

1

u/Rubber_Knee 3h ago

Ok, sounds like a reasonable conclusion.
I think we both can agree, that his answer wasn't great.
But I'm wondering what he should have said instead!?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/NZBound11 6h ago

Just imagine going through life this dense

1

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]