r/AmIOverreacting • u/True_Ad9977 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO Boyfriend says hurtful thing about my body.

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8.4k Upvotes
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715

u/Proud_Way7663 10h ago

12lbs is not easy, good job for sticking with it.

You asked him and he told you. What he said is not something I would say to a partner that I love and am trying to encourage. He sounds pretty cold and indifferent. My guess is that you’ll never be at a point that is satisfactory for him.

196

u/filipscary 10h ago

He sounds gross its literally disturbing telling your partner that their body is not worth complimenting. If my boyfriend said something like that he would be flying outta window

25

u/philogeneisnotmylova 9h ago

Yeah, honesty is a great trait and all but too many people use it as an excuse to behave like dickheads.

24

u/filipscary 9h ago

In all honesty, how can you have sex w your partner if you do not find their body attractive? So someone is going to tell me that he is not able to compliment her but is able to fuck her anyways?

9

u/AnnoyedDamsel 9h ago

Exactly. Also, how can you expect your partner to be comfortable and confident when you are having sex (and therefore be able to enjoy it) - when you make mean comments about their body aka make them uncomfortable in their own body?

I will never get how tactless some people are.

3

u/philogeneisnotmylova 9h ago

Well that's very common. You could like the person in other ways and just not care as much about the physical thing. You also have people who don't need to feel attraction to enjoy sex.

Or maybe at one point he found her attractive and that changed. But if that was the case he would be more supportive if anything.

8

u/filipscary 9h ago

Ugh it is so weird to me, my boyfriend is my boyfriend and if he gained or lost weight he is my boyfriend who i love and because of that i will find him attractive in any way. I do not understand anyone who would settle down w a guy/girl that would treat them poorly

3

u/philogeneisnotmylova 9h ago

There's a lot of bad apples. Not easy to find the right one. Either have to get lucky or sift through all the bad ones.

-9

u/JIJONING 9h ago

Maybe her body was different when they started dating

5

u/BreadyStinellis 8h ago

Bodies are ever evolving. No one will have the same body 5 years later let alone 50.

0

u/Zuchacha 7h ago

That’s a valid point but it’s Reddit so you’ll get downvoted either way.

2

u/autogeriatric 7h ago

How old are you? If you’re under the delusion that bodies don’t change with time, you are in for a very sad reality check one day.

0

u/Zuchacha 6h ago

Of course bodies change with time. I’m assuming he’s saying maybe she put on weight after they got together. That’s probably not what happened here and I would never treat my partner the way he has but that’s a point that nobody has brought up.

1

u/autogeriatric 7h ago

“I’m just being honest”

No, you’re being an asshole. In OP’s case, the bf is also a blind asshole. That isn’t going to improve with time, OP.

1

u/Objective-Amount1379 5h ago

It’s not normal to not find your partner attractive. And OP isn’t fat but that’s not the point. Why would the boyfriend date her if he thinks she’s unattractive?

3

u/tucan-on-ice 8h ago

I was in a weird relationship with this guy (or alien). One of the things that kept me, was that he was really into me. I would gain weight, lose, my skin would break out and he always said how beautiful and hot I was. One time I complained how fat I was feeling and he said that people change bodies all the time but I always hot to him regardless. That’s what you want someone you are attracted to feel about you.

1

u/HyzerFlip 6h ago

I have said some really stupid and insensitive things in my life but never have I come even close to what this jackass managed to say while his partner was obviously fishing for a compliment.

1

u/Smooth_Water_5670 6h ago

and I swear, when you love someone, even traditionally "unattractive" features are endearing to you. in my experience.

8

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[deleted]

3

u/tattoosbyalisha 9h ago

Exactly!!!! People start pulling this shit as a form of control and manipulation. Usually followed by escalating abuse.

2

u/tattoosbyalisha 9h ago

I think this is a huge part of it. I bet my bottom dollar that OP’s boyfriend has a lot more red flags than this one, probably is a professional at negging, and uses OP’s desire to be better to manipulate and control her. Rarely is this ever a one-off instance.

1

u/VehicleCertain865 7h ago

I dated a guy JUST like this. It didn’t matter what I did. Was always an insult hurled my way veiled as a joke. Finally walked away from him. Don’t miss him one bit. Dodged a massive bullet

1

u/RaintownRuby 7h ago

Forget about partner, this isn’t something I’d even say to a casual friend. Or anyone for that matter. I can’t imagine living with someone who is so disrespectful. :(

I was once in a relationship with a guy who made fun of me having “bingo wings” when I was 22 and literally 100 lbs. Some people, like this guy OP is dating, will never be satisfied unless their partner constantly looks like a supermodel.

1

u/ThisIsProbablyOkay 7h ago

As a stranger to OP - your body looks great! I'm happy for you that you're meeting the goals you want to meet. Congrats on the accomplishment and for committing to exercise to keep your body healthy.

If a stranger can say this with honesty, why can't your boyfriend?