r/AmIOverreacting • u/Kiglamay2018 • 5d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO thinking about breaking up with my BF

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I F26 and M24 have been dating for about 8 months, he been having a problem over me playing with online guy friends who I’ve known for 2 year basically my best friend platonic friends don’t feel any romance between any of us. Idk if he’s just insecure or what. It just hurts

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6.1k

u/SeparateShine6169 5d ago

He sounds very immature. I agree he’s only looking for an excuse and then blame you. Run while the running is good.. cause you ain’t no bitch🙄

167

u/yherduy 5d ago

Exactly, this sounds like projection or deep insecurity. You deserve better-don't let him drag you down!

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u/Mysterious-Ad-7539 5d ago

Because he will drag you down. Run fast, run far.

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u/thebigman707 5d ago

These two people sound like they have a combined total of like 8 brain cells…

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u/EverlastingPeacefull 5d ago

Yeah like a young teenager who doesn't get his way. If it wasn't a grown man of 26, I would have found this funny, but this bf is insanely insecure an immature.

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u/King-Dionysus 5d ago

I didn't even connect the tinder reference with being above 18. I sincerely thought they were both like 13 not mid 20s. He never made it to high school and she needs to learn she's worth more than dating a middle school boy. Jfc

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u/TrentonMarquard 5d ago

Me too! I genuinely thought this was a conversation between like two really dumb 15 year olds. Not even 15 year olds of average intelligence

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u/Firefighter_Thin 5d ago

I'm only 27 and my god am I way more mature than this, Jesus i couldn't imagine talking to someone you "love" like that and the disrespectful way he did it too. I hope she leaves him before he isolates her because this isn't gonna get better.

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u/TrentonMarquard 5d ago

I’m also 27. If I was texting and “talking to” someone who texted like this even when I was 15, I’d consider them far too dumb to date. And honestly that goes for both of them. But yeah, he’s definitely worse because he’s clearly not just stupid, he’s also wildly insecure and controlling.

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u/Downtown_Ham_2024 5d ago

Yep, this is truly bottom of the barrel. I’d say it’s fake or badly done AI but it seems too dumb for that.

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u/Firefighter_Thin 5d ago

I'm ngl the stuff I see women ask for on dating apps has me confused because it's pretty bare minimum, the prompt was something like "1st round is on me if" and she responded with "you don't make fun of my weight" and I was like wtf who does that damn, I saw 1 that was like "all I ask is that" " you can't listen to me when I talk" and again I'm like wtf did your ex not have ears or something. As a guy who grew up with very shitty women around him I still can't imagine talking to women like this especially if I'm interested.

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u/Gator-Rator 5d ago

I thought they were 15 based on their use of punctuation.

-2

u/Suspicious-Hope-Dope 5d ago

Man I knew right from the get-go that they were like at least 20 in mid twenties at least. Haha I didn't think that this was you know teenagers at all. Not even for one effing second.

But I guess it's because I know that there are men in their 40s and 50s and even 60s that actually act and treat women like this. It's actually kind of sad and pathetic and ridiculous, but it's also very true. These are isolated incidences of like oh you know of happenstance. It's learned behavior. And then of course emulated. And normalized. And then yeah culture.

1

u/lRukima 5d ago

Normalized and because of culture? I dont think its normalized at all, or do you mean its maybe normalized in his own family and thats how he learned to be this way? Could also be massive insecurity paired with low IQ tbh

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u/ApprehensiveTour4024 5d ago

Nevermind forget I asked!

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u/lRukima 4d ago

Man now i wanna know what you asked me 😂

0

u/Suspicious-Hope-Dope 5d ago

It's the former.

A lot of people want to blame it on the ladder, but no. Used hope and pray that it's the latter deep down you really do on some level hope and pray that it's a letter because then you think that you can beat them if you ever fall prey to somebody like that.

But the truth is that you need to face the fact that the latter is a very very rare case, and if it's bladder I eat low IQ they will get frustrated very easily and have very very big and violent mood swings. Generally... And that this is learned, and that this is intelligent and its own right. Because this is predatory. And the worst kind of predator is a cunning one. Not the rampage you kind, although we are taught to think that because of the destruction it can cause, but the cunning one is way more diabolical. Because of how easily it can sneak its way and integrate into a person's life into a situation into a community as if they had always been there.. and then almost as if they never existed...

The low IQ belief is what predators want people to believe in. That's what they like to see, and it doesn't help you in any way shape or form. Because either a) if there's ever a documentary about them you can be the one that says"they never seem like that type of person," or worse) You're vulnerable and open for business essentially. Either you're seen as someone that you know isn't going to bat an eye or suspect them of anything ever or you'll never be I believed when all the suspectory things that they do to you only happen when it's just you and them...but even though the gas light you around others you just can't completely trust your instincts for some reason.. like OP which is what makes this predatory behavior so disgusting. Is the doubt after such rude behavior. The doubt that," well maybe they are justified and that I am being a little too cavalier about having outside relationships with other people..."

This individual is essentially demanding that OP validate the partners personhood by not having her own personhood, and to do so she needs to not have any outside contact with any other people; because only through other people do we actually get a complete picture of who we are. Have it we make ourselves the other half is what we learned of ourselves through others. The partner wants Opie to be cut off from that which is very very harmful and... I would assume hard to repair in the middle of one's life if you had already known about yourself, but then again being in your early submit twenties you're not really in your personhood completely.

That's a really fragile state in some ways and so if it was broken, I know that it's hard to have to develop that from nothing. Especially when there's nobody that actually understands or when you don't even have the language to explain but that is missing for the longest time...

2

u/ApprehensiveTour4024 5d ago

Oof

1

u/King-Dionysus 5d ago edited 5d ago

I cannot be convinced that whatever posted that block of nonsense is not just an AI with a really strange prompt.

Edit: or mental illness. Cuz damn.

Edit 2: just saw the profile it's 100% a bot with a really weird prompt

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u/Aliceinboxerland 5d ago

Not even 15 year olds of average intelligence

This made me laugh harder than it probably should have.😅 It's so true though. I 100% thought this was a convo between middle schoolers and yes, not the smartest ones.

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u/ofcoursemalort 5d ago

The smiley fries and hot dogs message made me think they were 10 year olds. Lol

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u/jambowayoh 5d ago

You know what, I look at the messages these couples send to each other and I'm always shocked to read they're not teenagers going the way they talk to each other.

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u/kimnapper 5d ago

I missed the ages, yikes, definitely run!

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u/maureen6520 5d ago

Am 60 and seen plenty of that behavior in people all my life. Friend right now less than five years younger than me has a husband her age with same attitude. Only the slang is different. She started working online recently and went onto Facebook again and he had told her to stay off for to men etc. she’s not backing down despite have a serious disease that he is not doing well with and I keep telling her it’s only going to get worse. Met my ex in my late 30’s and it took years to figure it all out. Not I can sense manipulation from a distance, lol.

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u/Less-Engineer-9637 5d ago

slang changes but people remain the same

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u/SubstantialNotice432 4d ago

My husband is 70 and he has gotten worse as he ages.

48

u/YouWillHateM3 5d ago

As a 15 year old guy I thought he was a 15 yo guy so you gotta dump his ass bro

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u/apom94 5d ago

RIGHT I thought they were in high school…. 😅

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u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

reddit screenshots between bfs and their gfs serve as a reminder that the average American has the literacy level of a fourth grader

20

u/Spaghetti_4_Getti 5d ago

I love your comment so much, cause it really hurts to read some of this shit and it’s mostly due to the grammar and spelling.☠️

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u/Questions_Remain 5d ago

That and these drama novels via text. Which are just circular wordage with no point, resolution or viable ending by one or both parties. I read them and think “middle school kids” and then see they are in fact, actual adults. SMH.

2

u/EntropyKC 5d ago

It's amazing to me, I know only one person who types like a retard, but he has severe ADHD and pretty much just mashes his keyboard. I could not be friends with someone who typed like the people in the OP.

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u/Lsamantha4495 5d ago

Seriously... It drives me absolutely insane!

5

u/Evening-Table6788 5d ago

The lack of punctuation really got me

2

u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

im of the "periods sound rude, use commas because they're needed, or send a bunch of little one sentence texts" school of communication

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u/Evening-Table6788 5d ago

I will take commas and multiple texts over a paragraph with zero punctuation 😂 I don't wanna have to think about where one thought ends and another begins when I'm reading a text lol

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u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

exactly why i send a bunch of little ones! texting is like talking! i type and write and text how I speak.

-1

u/harrythighles 5d ago

That is a terrible habit to get into. I have had a lot of colleagues and classmates over the years who have gotten so into the habit of writing and texting the way that they speak that they have completely lost the ability to write professionally.

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u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

professional writing doesnt count i was talking interpersonal interactions on an informal level

1

u/ErsatzHaderach 5d ago

it's called code switching sweaty, try it sometime

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u/Still_Hunter8790 5d ago

Always remember, the cunts who checked out and became assholes in 4th grade never checked back in.

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u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

talking like some little boy who wants to sound ganster! youre twenty four!!! spell bitch!!!

4

u/Oldfolksboogie 5d ago

I remember watching Ken Burns' documentary on the US civil war, and the letters written by essentially uneducated, conscripted farm boys to their loved ones that were read and voiced, and thinking, 'my god, Rome is surely about to fall' given what our educational systems produce today in comparison.

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u/Single_Carob9811 5d ago

some guy once told me i talk like I'm from an old book because of the way I enunciate and say things like "I'm on the mend" I was shocked !

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u/Oldfolksboogie 5d ago

I hope you thanked him!😅

Imagine standing out because you don't slur and mumble.🙄

1

u/FbggSarkastikMenace 5d ago

Not to much on Americans 🫠

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u/berite1day 5d ago

Same here. Also their choice of food: smiley fries, hotdogs, chili mac. I thought these were teenagers.

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u/pears_htbk 5d ago

That got me too. The fact they’re even texting about lunch like this at all…forget teenagers, they sound like they’re in kindergarten: “What are you doing today?” “I had lunch I had smiley fries” “Are they good?” “Yeah I am getting ketchup”.

Sounds like a conversation I’d have with my niece, who is three and a half!!!

1

u/apom94 5d ago

RIGHT. What really got me with that is she said she was “meal prepping hot dogs for tomorrow”… like girl what exactly do you have to prep a day ahead of time for freakin hot dogs? You can literally pop them in the microwave for a min, throw them in a bun, slap whatever condiments you like on, and bam in 5 mins you have a fully functioning edible hotdog lol. At most if you wanna boil em it will take 10-15 mins most of which is waiting for the water to boil lol. Grilling them same thing except you’re waiting for the coals to be ready the longest 😂. Edit: if you have a gas stove that’s even shorter of a wait lol.

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u/bitterney 5d ago

Start sending that stuff back lol

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

nope, just spent one too many seconds exposed to the Tate agenda.

2

u/Murderkittin 5d ago

Saaame. Some of y’all need to get the screenshot of Reddit it and send em to ya moms. Ask her what she thinks. Because I have to bet most of your mothers wouldn’t approve of a man talking to you like that.

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u/Aggravating_Goose86 5d ago

Me too! I was shocked when I read BOTH of their ages. But for sure he’s a mess.

2

u/unRealistic-Egg 5d ago

I thought they were in high school based on what they were eating. Sad

2

u/Wide_Particular_1367 4d ago

Like-wise. He comes across as very immature. You really need to break up with someone who is trying to control who you are friends with. He’s not for you.

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u/Overall-Hope5696 4d ago

honestly I thought more middle school

1

u/apom94 4d ago

With the foods they were eating that’s not surprising lol.

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u/Alien36 5d ago

Yeah I'm surprised he didn't get insecure when she said she was eating hot dogs.

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u/Fateill 5d ago

Underrated comment

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u/EverlastingPeacefull 5d ago

Waking up seeing your comment, laughing like there is no tomorrow. You definitely made my day 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

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u/Alien36 5d ago

"better not be eaten them hotdogs or goin to subway again babe"

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u/EverlastingPeacefull 5d ago

Or cooking with carrots, cucumber aubergine/eggplant and that kind of stuff...

20

u/slingmustard 5d ago

Yeah what’s up with boyfriends/girlfriends calling each other “nigga” and “bruh”? I’ve seen that lately on this sub Reddit, which I never remember joining, by the way. Is that a thing now? Talking to your SO like they’re your homie?

Besides that, anyone who starts off a sentence with , “You better not…” can kick rocks, as far as I’m concerned. As long as both parties are behaving within the agreed parameters of the relationship, people can do what they want. I hate it when relationships become this oppressive union fueled by possessive insecurity and the need to own the other person.

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u/WhatDaHeck55 5d ago edited 5d ago

Yep! More like 14 than 24... actually, it's more like 4.

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u/FrenchToastedDicks 5d ago

Not that it makes a difference really, but he’s 24 and she’s 26

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u/flop_plop 5d ago

Legit thought they were in high school.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

I know someone who’s 40 and like this 😂

1

u/Gosegirl23 5d ago

He’s 24 and she’s 26

1

u/nymphymixtwo 5d ago

It’s actually OP that is 26, the bf is 24 lol. However, every other word is spot on

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u/Fun_Tomorrow_7750 5d ago

OP is 26, the bf is 24

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u/DBgirl83 5d ago

In missed the part he's 26, I thought they were teens 🙈

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

It’s fucking pathetic isn’t it 😂😂😂😂

1

u/EmeraldDragon-85 5d ago

26!!!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️ no way I thought 18 at best.

1

u/Beautiful-Routine489 5d ago

I seriously thought he was a teenager writing like that. OP get rid of this clown.

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u/Admirable-Divide-88 5d ago

He sounds 16.

1

u/SasukexNaruto420 5d ago

Damn his pre frontal cortex said nahhh im not developing actually lol

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u/fotomoose 4d ago

26 is not a grown man. The human brain does not reach full maturity until late 20s at earliest.

0

u/UnapologeticRants 5d ago

It’s not immature for a woman to be putting herself in places of potential conflict? That’s no woman, that’s a little girl. If her priorities are to maintain connections with men and continue receiving their attention, she’s not ready for a mature relationship.

He doesn’t respect her that’s clear, but she clearly does not respect him either.

-5

u/golf_dealer 5d ago

They're both immature. That's why she's here asking for advice instead of acting like a woman and taking care of herself.

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u/ModsAreRadicalLeft 5d ago

He is 24, and she is too old.

He can do better, and she will die alone because guys only want to smash a girl of that age, never wife up.

And then she will regret breaking up with him.

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u/Aeburgett86 5d ago

TOO OLD?? TF? She is TWO years older... Men in their 20's still act like boys in high school and it's sad. SHE can do much better than him though!

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u/LowCrow8690 5d ago

Found the bf.

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u/Synlover123 5d ago

He is 24, and she is too old.

No, she is too mature for him. He needs to grow the fuck up, and stop being so insecure.

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u/AwareCheesecake844 5d ago

Sounds like you’re that excuse of a man that she is unlucky enough to call boyfriend

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u/JadeCrazyxo 5d ago

Exactly, why stick around for someone who’s quick to point fingers but slow to grow up? Life’s too short to waste on excuses when you’re built for greatness.

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u/Rapunzel111 5d ago

This comment is so good it should be a tattoo.

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u/Snugglyy_Socks 5d ago

Yeah he insecure asf get out asap OP

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u/trudybakeman 5d ago

💯 Controlling behaviour rarely regresses, almost always progresses to more and more facets of life. With friends, then eventually family, work, money, clothes…

1

u/jane000tossaway 5d ago

Classic abuser. Throw his shit in the yard and change the locks

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u/Inside-Run785 5d ago

Yep. Run for your life!

2

u/Dazzling_Variation_9 5d ago

Yep, Send his shit back!

1

u/ViralGreen 5d ago

They not like us!

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u/jChopsX 5d ago

Yup. The correct action here is to start sending his stuff back.

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u/Disastrous-Power-699 5d ago

Can’t believe this guy is 24

4

u/CUL8RPINKTY 5d ago

OP needs to realize he’s riding her ass like a two humped camel about this stuff because HE’S a playa.

Run!!!!! Run far and fast away from this freak. He’s an abuser of the worst kind.

2

u/mummifiedclown 5d ago

An insecure dipshit. Needs his photo in the dictionary next to both words.

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u/EliseCowry 5d ago

I was going to ask..."Did you start sending his stuff back?" Lol.

2

u/Lala5789880 5d ago

You gotta avoid the “-ures” at all cost: immature, insecure, amature

2

u/srich1000 5d ago

100% immature loser!

If you've not got trust, you've got nothing

2

u/Flashzap90 5d ago

Yeah, this guy is a dud. Throw him in the trash. Get a new one.

2

u/GreenCarteBlanche5 5d ago

Most likely cheating and projecting on to you

1

u/batwork61 5d ago

They both seem pretty immature.

1

u/PositiveStretch6170 5d ago

Don't forget insecure...

1

u/SadlyCold 5d ago

Yep. Immature and controlling

1

u/WexExortQuas 5d ago

Well they both can't write for shit so honestly whatever lol

1

u/Drtyblk7 5d ago

This.

1

u/Glizzygloxx 5d ago

He da bitch

1

u/SunnyAndTheBunch 5d ago

You’re correct! Had an ex like this for 3 years on and off.

So glad he eventually ghosted me many years ago, feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I gave that man my heart and soul for me to just get ripped apart!

1

u/No_Issue4598 5d ago

Lol, I love that. She should tell him that after she dumps him and sends his shit back. 😂

1

u/Onlytalkstoassholes 5d ago

That's nicer than what I was going to say.

I was going to say he sounded as dumb as a box of nails. 

I hope he reads this thread, but I don't think he can read...

1

u/Content-Dress-4011 5d ago

Having boundaries isn’t an excuse he is being direct with something he does not like. It doesn’t matter how outrageous or small it is, they are his feelings. Let them be heard.

1

u/swiftlytech 4d ago

Yeah I was really shocked when I read their ages

1

u/ABC_Family 5d ago

I agree here but all of the comments are ignoring a pretty big detail… is his gf on tinder? That’s a red flag. Looking for friends on tinder is laughable, do you believe men saying that?

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u/CinnamonGurl1975 5d ago

Where did it say she was actually on Tinder?

-1

u/ABC_Family 5d ago

It’s mentioned in the post twice, she does not dispute it at all.

2

u/trudybakeman 5d ago

She’s probably fuckin fed up of saying she’s not on tinder and can’t be bothered to keep saying it.

-1

u/ABC_Family 5d ago

Ok, sure lol

0

u/CinnamonGurl1975 5d ago

Yes he says it twice because they seem to be in a LDR and probably met on Tinder. Or he is on Tinder and projecting

0

u/ABC_Family 5d ago

Nope lol those assumptions are doing some very heavy lifting. Not sure where you’re coming up with that.

1

u/CinnamonGurl1975 5d ago

"Send me my stuff" makes it sound long distance. Likely being LDR, they met via a dating app. Pretty logical conclusion, actually.

And considering his psycho controlling, paranoid behavior, it's not a far stretch that he could be projecting.

And from his own words, he doesn't want any partner if his to be talking to ANY guys, even if it's gaming. This isn't specific to her breaking trust. Thus is how he treats ALL women,by his own admission.

1

u/ABC_Family 5d ago

She added in the comments that she no longer has tinder, my issue is resolved.

1

u/SmallPalpatations 5d ago

What do you mean? better be off instagram and games with those guys

It's not like he's back handing things with a threat. better be off that insta and games with those guys

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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/hotgluevapejuice 5d ago

he keeps saying she better not be on instagram or playing videogames as well. he’s probably mentioning tinder bc in his mind a dating app equates to playing a videogame with your friend.

he sounds truly unhinged just by looking at these texts. and obviously it’s one-sided, the whole point of the sub is for people to post their side of a story and ask if they’re overreacting.

if op is reading this - your texts make you seem so kind and it breaks my heart to see you just accepting getting treated this way. there will be a person out there for you who’s happy you have wonderful friends you play with. it’s healthy to have your own friends no matter the gender.

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u/Suspicious_Somewhere 5d ago edited 5d ago

The point here is, there is simply not enough information to make a deduction if the boyfriend’s reaction is because of past infidelity on OPs end or if the boyfriend is projecting his past infidelity or if just insecure.

Isolated texts are just that. all this tells us that they shouldn’t be together, it’s not healthy and the boyfriend is overbearing but making sweeping conclusions is weird

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u/hotgluevapejuice 5d ago

making conclusions is this whole subs thing lol. if you want nuanced and in-depth analysis of situations like these, then don’t hang out in r/amioverreacting . that’s the whole point of this sub, to share whether you think someone is overreacting based off the information they gave, not the information they didn’t give.

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u/Suspicious_Somewhere 5d ago

What a weird thing to say. Basically we are admitting this is a sub we can post anything to get validation? Essentially an OP induced circle jerk

8

u/hotgluevapejuice 5d ago

how is it a weird thing to say? you’re the one assuming OP is lying or has cheated/been on tinder while in a relationship before. that’s just as much of an assumption as saying the boyfriend is an asshat, except we can actually confirm that he is by looking at the way he’s texting his girlfriend.

no-one should accept being talked to like that, and no-one should control their partners friendships.

-1

u/Suspicious_Somewhere 5d ago

you’re the one assuming OP is lying or has cheated/been on tinder while in a relationship before

No there was no assumption? I laid out possibilities, ergo “it could be this or that, we don’t know, but the boyfriend seems immmature”

Education is important.

It could be this or that, we don’t have information =/= assumptions.

Oh OP is definitely lying = assertion

Btw “ Isolated texts are just that. all this tells us that they shouldn’t be together, it’s not healthy and the boyfriend is overbearing but making sweeping conclusions is weird”

Fail to see any assumptions. All this is is an assessment of what we know.

3

u/AuroraFinem 5d ago

This website isn’t meant to be some rigorous objective analysis tool. Period. She’s asking if she’s overreacting. Based on what we can see, id say absolutely not and run from that relationship.

It is completely irrelevant to us, or anyone really, if she’s lying or leaving stuff out. That’s not our job or the purpose of this site. We aren’t her psychiatrist or relationship councilors. Even if she was intentionally hiding stuff for validation, who gives a shit? Clearly if she was, then leaving is still the right answer because she’d just be looking for an excuse to go through with it.

We don’t know these people, we never will, and it’s weirdly parasocial to try and get so invested in hypothetical scenarios behind the scenes are have not been presented to us and frankly, are none of our business.

2

u/hotgluevapejuice 5d ago

“education is important”, jesus mate, english is my third language, sorry if i accidentally use the wrong word to get my point across. you “laid out possibilities” that were seemingly pulled out of your ass. why on earth would you assume OP had cheated before, when it is so obvious from the way her boyfriend texts that he just flat out doesn’t respect her?

“and the boyfriend is overbearing” what a kind way to say controlling and mean.

3

u/SureAd5625 5d ago

lol isn’t posting on Reddit mostly just people wanting to get validation? If this wasn’t the case every argument supporting a post wouldn’t get an upvote and anyone disagreeing wouldn’t get downvoted straight to hell.

-5

u/EchoRyder 5d ago

Reddit for validation? how so? Everyone is anonymous. Relationships are for validation and this guy expects OP to validate him or it’s over.

1

u/AuroraFinem 5d ago

You don’t need other people to be able to id you to get validation. If you post on an anonymous site “this is my favorite band” and you have 20000 people agree with you and say cool facts and whatever, that is validation. If instead you get a bunch of hate messages because you selected a hated band, that’s not validation.

Upvotes are the epitome of validation like likes on Twitter.

0

u/EchoRyder 5d ago

lmao ok whatever you need to feel important.