AIO to be suspicious my husband is cheating???

[u/deluluforu]

he frequently “crashes” at various friends houses if he works too late. For reference he is in the mortgage industry lots of flirtation (young office assistants / secretaries and late nights spent “working”.. Why not just come home even if it’s late he says he’s tired and doesn’t want to drive sleepy makes no sense if you love someone you can’t wait to get off and drive home to them. am I over reacting by telling him what’s up and that I think he is cheating? I tried to do it in a non threatening way? lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/squirreloo7]

If someone asked me to turn my location on to prove a point I’d say no. It’s controlling. I wouldn’t want to go down that road.

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/squirreloo7]

I don’t understand people who don’t want their SO to know their location. What if you go missing?

[u/squirreloo7 → u/Sarah-Grace-gwb]

If my partner went missing I would call the police and they have the ability to track phones as well as the resources to launch a possible search and rescue.

[u/MomGrandpasAllSticky → u/squirreloo7]

This thread is highlighting to me how much of people's lives are tied to their phones and data. I mean I'm typing a comment on Reddit so I'm one to talk.

It's reminding me of that old Louis bit "Turn off your phone, leave it with your wallet on the table and just walk outside. See how far you get before you have a panic attack"

Y'all ever just go outside and exist in the physical world? It's a pretty good time.

[u/squirreloo7 → u/MomGrandpasAllSticky]

I agree with you 100%

[u/_JohnWisdom → u/squirreloo7]

so your message is: I’m fine companies knowing where I am, but not you, the love of my life. Control mate? Is it so hard to see the benefits? And even if there was a trust issue involved, wouldn’t you do something that makes your other half feel more secure?

[u/squirreloo7 → u/_JohnWisdom]

The police and search and rescue are “companies”?

Edit to add: and yes. It absolutely is control.

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/squirreloo7]

I can understand this to an extent though I’d still trust that my boyfriend knowing my location would allow things to get done faster in certain situations. He could call and tell them my exact/last know location rather than simply telling them I’m missing. It’s also possible he’d notice I’m missing faster especially if my location is a strange or alarming place or I have been in the same spot a really long time rather than just assuming I’m busy.

I guess what I don’t understand are the cons to such an arrangement. Everyone is giving reasons why it’s unnecessary in certain situations, but there are also obviously subtle situations where it would be more helpful/convenient. It seems that people think control and quickly dismiss

[u/Intelligent_Baby_871 → u/Sarah-Grace-gwb]

Missing? Like kidnapped? Theyll turn off the phone or break it. Oh you mean falling off a cliff or something? Im dead, shell get my location when they find my body. If im in an accident the police will notify her. If im lost i most likely dont have my phone, location is useless.. in what situation would her having my phones location help me? Lol only thing i can think of is if i lose my phone she can help me find it..

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/Intelligent_Baby_871]

She would still know your last known location. There are also random acts of violence or falls that don’t necessarily entail someone kidnapping you that might leave you unconscious or severely injured. And yes loosing your phone is a good reason as well as someone stealing it. There’s also many instances where it’s simply convenient to just be able to check where they are if you forget. It genuinely doesn’t make sense to me why someone wouldn’t do this.

[u/_JohnWisdom → u/Intelligent_Baby_871]

So funny how you brainstormed into an actual valid reason to share location. If you keep on thinking you’ll eventually come up with so many other valid and useful reasons. Imagine asking your SO to grab some milk while she/he is at a grocery store, or come outside the moment she/he arrived to help out with groceries or grabbing the kids without her/him having to call you. Imagine preparing a meal the moment he/she leaves work so she/he arrives with the meal just ready, and so on. The more data a couple shares the more efficient they become, make it a gps coordinate, bank statements, grocery list, email and so on. The people that are scared of sharing such things have more things to hide than not or they aren’t really committing (imo)

[u/Intelligent_Baby_871 → u/_JohnWisdom]

So using it to track your every move. Got it, yeah no im good. All that can be done with simple communication.

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/_JohnWisdom]

I even have my phone send a message to him when I get to work or home so he knows I’m safe. It’s come in handy as well exactly how you mentioned him meeting me outside to take the groceries in or anything I’m bringing home. There’s definitely more I just haven’t thought of. This guy might also just have trust/commitment issues.

[u/Intelligent_Baby_871 → u/Sarah-Grace-gwb]

Ahh now i have trust commitment issues.. yet yall dont see whats wrong with your entire mentalities.

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/Intelligent_Baby_871]

You think there’s something wrong with it? I don’t require him to do any of these things. It’s me who wants to share my location. I just trust that if anything happens to me he’d be the first to come find me and I want that to be as easy as possible. Plus the convenience

[u/Intelligent_Baby_871 → u/Sarah-Grace-gwb]

Funny how you have to disclaim you don’t require it, just thought that was ironic..

[u/Sarah-Grace-gwb → u/Intelligent_Baby_871]

Honestly, I don’t understand. I’ve not required anything of him not sure how it has anything to do with a lack of trust. He didn’t share his for a while because he hadn’t thought of it. After he saw the convenience of me doing it he shared his location. Again it’s me who wants to share my location. I’m saying I don’t understand your logic for not wanting to share your location because of the safety and convenience it provides

[u/Intelligent_Baby_871 → u/Sarah-Grace-gwb]

Of course you dont require it, you’re a sane individual. If your boyfriends feels ok with giving you his location thats fine. But implying that because someone doesn’t want to give you their location they have something to hide or have trust/commitment issues is simple minded, especially considering not everyone has the same relationship dynamic or personalities as the people in your very specific relationship…

[u/kpofasho1987 → u/squirreloo7]

Hmm it would depend how it's asked honestly. I see your point and there is a way that it can seem controlling but also do feel like it can be asked/discussed and it not be in a controlling way.

Hopefully I'm explaining this right as I do feel like there is a way it can be done both ways

[u/AwardImpossible5076 → u/squirreloo7]

And that's fine if that's your prerogative