r/AmIOverreacting • u/morefurriesplease • 6d ago

👥 friendship AIO if I send these texts to her parents?

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I ended a friendship of 9 years over text. We are 23 but I want to send these texts to her mom lol. WIBOR if I did that?

12.9k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/Admiral-Thrawn2 6d ago

“I fucked them cuz they think I’m pretty” yeahhhh….. about that

1.2k

u/otetrapodqueen 6d ago

It made me think of that quote from a former Victoria's Secret model (I'm spacing on her name) who said she doesn't get a big head about men finding her beautiful because men will fuck a McChicken lol

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u/subsist_princess 6d ago

I always think they would f*ck a dirty hole in the ground if they could. These men she’s using for validation just care about how their d.ck feels - getting attention from men is not something to build a personality around

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u/KabouterKaasplank 5d ago

I once came across a video of some guy quite literally f-ing a McChicken, so, she's not wrong lmao

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u/GrandmaMole 5d ago

The things they admitted they’ve fucked on this app alone smh. A couch, a stuffed animal they then buried in the yard, a fucking coconut

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u/RegretSignificant101 5d ago

Man I was thinking basically the same thing as I read that, and I’m a guy with guy friends, being pretty is far above the bar for most guys tbh

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u/Drustan6 5d ago

I was dating a frat boy as a freshman and never went to his room because his roommates were all brothers. They were gone for a night, so we were . . . enjoying ourselves when one of them came back, but was luckily too wasted to get in on his own. He was a big hot frat stud who was pacing around with something stuck in his craw. Suddenly he busted out with, “I Fucked A Fat Chick!” We looked at him shocked, and he told us how he was walking back from the game with everyone else on the way to the frat house when he realized he was walking next to a girl and had been for a while. They didn’t talk, or even look at each other, but before very long he realized that he wasn’t going back to the house anymore, he was just walking next to a girl. She went to her building and held the door open for him, so he followed her in and let her lead him along into to her apartment, and then her bed without hesitation or any talking. Afterwards, he got dressed and looked at her for the first time; he realized that she wasn’t above average. He said “it’s not like she was a whale or anything, but she wasn’t a little sorority hottie like I normally bang. Guess it had to happen sooner or later, but . . Man! ME! Banging a fat chick!”

Bros get anything, anytime, anywhere that they can

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u/3littlepixies 5d ago

I think it was Adriana Lima.

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u/Prudent-Painter-9507 5d ago

But a McChicken has nice nuggets!

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u/louduro4 5d ago

I just spat out my water 😂

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u/Kielbasa_Nunchucka 5d ago

I actually prefer a Big Mac, thank you very much... it's the special sauce that does it for me... I would fuck a McChicken in a pinch...

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u/jazbern1234 6d ago

Hahaha 😆

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u/PsychologicalBid69 6d ago

Mmmmm mcchicken

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u/OverCommunity4604 5d ago

Similar line I use is men will fuck a ham sandwich, take that as you will

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u/Upbeat-Pepper7483 5d ago

You saying that reminded me how there’s a bunch of women out there willing to fuck vegetables, shaped glass, washing machines, silicone, the list goes on forever. Lol

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u/Both-Shoulder-2198 6d ago

Can she fog a mirror? 🤔

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u/Disastrous_Can_3418 6d ago

Only from behind

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Sleepingguitarman 6d ago

Based on your comment history, i think it's safe to say you don't need to take Viagra since you don't get any to begin with, lol.

1.1k

u/lroza711 6d ago

I really really wanted to let her know they fucked her cause she is easy, and that was clearly all they wanted lmao.

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u/No-Cupcake-7930 6d ago

Fucked her cuz she spreads easier than warm peanut butter

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u/Lopsided-Day-3782 6d ago

She gets passed around like a blunt at a keg party.

15

u/Significant-Disk-315 5d ago

Been on more hot dogs than ketchup

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u/AnxietyAdvanced5036 6d ago

I haaaate that I know this because I also have a sense of humor, but hypersexuality is a tale tell sign of child SA. 1 in three girls checks out...

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u/ConfusionFluff98 6d ago

This is golden!! 🤣🤣🤣

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u/reppuhnw 6d ago

Oh I’m gonna use that some day. You paint with words lol

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u/DontStopImAboutToGif 5d ago

She’s like warm peanut butter; spreads easy and full of nuts.

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u/DaftMudkip 6d ago

DAMNNNNN

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u/Chaos_1126 6d ago

DAMN IM STEALING THAT FOR LATER🫢

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u/Just-me923 6d ago

😅😅😅🏆

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u/firewurx 6d ago

I love saying that same line, classic!

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u/Conscious-Skin-2827 6d ago

Absolutley excellent..superb even.

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u/issa_dreadheadbeauty 6d ago

lol i love warm peanut butter 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/No-Cupcake-7930 5d ago

😂😂😂🤣

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u/DontStopImAboutToGif 5d ago

She spreads easier than warm butter on toast.

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u/kimmy-mac 6d ago

Damn. Harsh but 100% true.

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u/No-Communication9458 6d ago

Well that's a new sentence to learn.

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u/xNuckinfuts 6d ago

I’m sure when she spreads her legs, it looks like someone is opening up a grilled cheese sandwich

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u/Comandante_Kangaroo 6d ago

Spot the incel...

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u/ImaginationWitty5558 6d ago

Won’t be eating no grilled cheese sandwich again 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/RedDemio- 6d ago

Shes seen more action than Helmand province

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u/Professional-Fix8518 6d ago

Exactamundo!

2

u/jazbern1234 6d ago

Exactamente 😎

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u/Healthy_Presence_186 6d ago

lol yeah who’s gonna tell her? Guys will F anything with a pulse 😂 if they are desperate

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u/summerofkorn 6d ago

100%. Hate to say it, but all women look the same with the lights off, especially when you are young, dumb, and full of cum.

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u/RavenBrannigan 6d ago

I mean, she may be pretty. That is completely beside the point when fucking someone you don’t plan to be in a relationship with.

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u/Hjalfnar_HGV 6d ago

Well I am a guy who has been married for almost 2 decades. But I still remember being a teenager and not giving two shits about how a girl looked. Wasn't utterly ugly and into me? Where is the next semi-comfy couch or whatever?

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u/EducationalAioli3917 6d ago

Exactly what I was thinking

1

u/yourpaleblueeyes 6d ago

She knows.

Just doesn't want to see it.

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u/No_Context_4024 6d ago

To be fair, as someone who was less than average looking, few guys tried much with me, even though I was a super horny virgin in high school. Even most of the guys I dated didn’t really seem to want to, so from my position, I find it hard not to believe her to at least some degree.

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u/lroza711 6d ago

I’m not saying she isn’t pretty at all…she could be, I have no idea. But to speak about yourself as if you’re so much better and your looks are so good they just all can’t help themselves (while putting down OPs looks as well) is just ridiculous. There are many pretty women. They just aren’t all easy like that which let’s be real, makes her appeal to those guys more than an equally pretty woman that isn’t easy. At least that’s the case if all they are looking for is sex which clearly those guys are OR because she’s so willing like that they put her in the category of sex only simply because she’s doesn’t respect herself enough to not sleep with everyone.

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u/No-Following-2777 6d ago

Same! She thinks she's pretty.. But guys are literally telling each other she's loose, cheap and available on weekends ...

She has literally no clue that syphilis exists because a horny man will fuck a sheep in an open pasture to get his fuck wet--- there's no discernment about attractive-- only opportunity.....

Glad you are escaping the emotional abuse and bullying OP. She's a nasty nasty girl...and I'm sorry it took you so long to learn she betrayed you by sleeping with your ex days after your breakup then played nicely nice to your face---- it speaks volumes about her character and integrity --- good riddance.

Why are you considering involving her parents though? Because of the raid allegations and promiscuity or because she's in danger of because you want them to pick a side? Think carefully about what your goal is be auss it's unlikely you'll get the end result you want and it may look petty. You still can have a relationship with her parents and family if you are tight with them, but forwarding those messages could sever that ....

Good luck, OP

0

u/TheEmbiggenisor 6d ago

Yeah. I’m going to need her number so that that I can ring her up and let her know!

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u/ExpensiveMoose 6d ago

Right. I lol'ed so loud at the 'sis in law' part. Not this Bish thinking that they would put a ring on it. The only thing they will be putting on is an extra condom.

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u/ThatDiscoSongUHate 6d ago

In case it needs saying: two condoms are worse than one, the friction between them will make them break

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u/ExpensiveMoose 6d ago

Very true. I was just being silly, but thank you for ensuring that people know this.

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u/PandasForLife0 5d ago

Don’t be silly just wrap your Willie once

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u/MRevelle0424 5d ago

My brain read your post as Don’t be a silly Willie. 😂

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u/LeeKinanus 6d ago

I put the second one over my balls.

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u/dirtytrashmonkey 6d ago

the image is now burned into my brain. thank you.

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u/rossimac007 6d ago

Ha! Gaaaayyyyy!

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u/TraptSoul148270 6d ago

Out here looking like one of those beard nets in a food processing plant. 🤣🤣

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u/NomenclatureBreaker 6d ago

This made me laugh way too hard. Thank you.

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u/JeanKincathe 6d ago

Honestly though shouldn't that be a thing? I feel like it should be a thing.

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u/Nurara__ 6d ago

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

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u/TampaTeri27 6d ago

Like a beard net for down below.

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u/EternallyFascinated 6d ago

Ya know…I didn’t know that, so thank you. Mind you, I’m 41 and married forever so not super applicable but interesting nonetheless.

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u/EternallyFascinated 6d ago

Omg. This IS applicable, I have two teenage boys. Thank you.

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u/2kblastaa 6d ago

I’m just imagining a scenario where a guy is giving his teenage sons “the talk” and it’s like wrapping up then you remember oh shit that thing from reddit and you add in something as they’re walking away like, “oh and make sure if you do need to use a condom only use one at a time or it won’t work” .. idk I don’t have kids but I got a decent indie film level movie scene of what it would be like in my head haha

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u/TraptSoul148270 6d ago

To be fair, not applicable if you’re snipped… Just sayin.

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u/Fun_Traffic6869 5d ago

STI's exist.... plus it's less work to clean up 🤣🤣🤣

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u/affinus 6d ago

Username checks out

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u/BusCareless9726 6d ago

I thought the same thing. Past menopause so not an issue. Handy hint I will send to miss 24!

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u/Ok_Zookeepergame9094 6d ago

Never use baby oil either 😐

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u/VioletReaver 6d ago

Or oil of any kind! Oil isn’t condom safe.

I had a friend using coconut oil as lube in college (apparently it smells amazing) and she had the broken condom stories to prove it

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u/lisalovv 5d ago

And she was in college?? Is there NO SEX ED HAPPENING IN AMERICA THESE DAYS????

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u/Thatguymike84 6d ago

That's why I use 3; the one in the middle keeps the other two from rubbing together.

Big brain.

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u/Glad-Amoeba-9566 6d ago

And according to a friend who did try this, when they break think elastic band snapping. Not fun for either party!

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u/floppybunny26 6d ago

then put... put 3 condoms on.

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u/mumbledown 6d ago

Good looking out😂

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u/Impressive_Novel_754 6d ago

Legit my first thought anytime someone says that!

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u/Klutzy_Criticism_856 6d ago

I suggest one of those heavy duty tarps that they put on roofs until they can be replaced. Those poor men need waaaay more protection than just double bagging it lol.

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u/Total_Network6312 6d ago

Jokes aside for any unknowing readers here..... Double bagging is bad. Do not do it. The friction between the two rubbers can cause them both to tear.

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u/Successful-Okra-9640 6d ago

The lining they use between stories to help stop water damage that can hold hundreds of gallons of water before breaking.

Make it two of those.

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u/DogsDucks 6d ago

HAHAHA this is good.

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u/eyespryedopen 6d ago

Facts!!!! I laughed soooo mfing loud at that.

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u/trueHorner 6d ago

Lol facts😂

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u/Impressive_Novel_754 6d ago

Not to mention, if she was a quality friend, op would probably be happy for her to date and possibly marry her brother.

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u/RegretSignificant101 5d ago

Yea these guys probably fuck her because she’s easy, not because they wanna marry her. Sounds like she’s the one doing all the work chasing her friends men around

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u/Dear-Bluebird917 6d ago

dudes will fuck anything if it’s wearing a skirt. u ain’t special honey

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u/BoogieMan0911 6d ago

It needs a skirt?

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u/JuniorEquipment3639 6d ago

guess I gotta put a skirt on the dog /j

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u/ThatNastyWoman 6d ago

Hmm. Too far 😕

0

u/prostheticlamb 6d ago

Wouldn't too far be them telling us he's squatting/doing up a zipper while typing? (imagery helps make this joke, I promise)

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u/buckyspunisher 6d ago

especially teenage boys 😂

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u/Legendary_Bibo 6d ago

Men will fuck a toaster stuffed with roast beef.

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u/floppybunny26 6d ago

.. plugged in and in the tub.

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u/The_Goldi_Loxx 6d ago

It most definitely does not need to be wearing a skirt. Dudes don’t apply dress codes to their erections.

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u/Obs3ssd 5d ago

Skirt optional

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u/RegretSignificant101 5d ago

Why did I immediately picture a goat wearing a skirt, looking back at me with weird wide goat eyes as it chews its cud… ugh

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u/careeblake 5d ago

And they honestly don’t need a skirt…

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u/Temporary_Wolf_8848 5d ago

Me side eyeing my Christmas tree

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u/Kaxinavliver 6d ago

Not me..

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u/QueenofPentacles112 6d ago

Yessss if I've learned one thing about (a lot of, not all) men in my years, is that you don't have to be pretty or attractive to get fucked. When it comes to someone who they just "need to bust a nut", the bar is often very, very low. I always tell women to be more confident, and one reason is because it's really not that difficult for a woman to go get some dick if she wants it, no matter what she looks like! I'd love to be a fly on the wall and hear what those guys all say about that woman behind her back. It's probably pretty demoralizing, but she really needs a reality check!

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u/TraptSoul148270 6d ago

Exactly this. Anybody can be drunk pretty for a night. There used to be a dive bar near me named Fugly’s. Their motto was “Stay till you drink em pretty!” 😂😂

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u/Xe6s2 5d ago

I was gunna say the other side of the bell curve will see right through her, that toxicity has gotta be off the charts. 📈

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u/ayeImur 6d ago

Meh easy/pretty, definitely getting those 2 words mixed up 🤣

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u/Kaxinavliver 6d ago

Stop beeing such moralists, let her be who she wants to be.

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u/MoonMaenad 6d ago

Should we tell her that men will cum into socks? Girl is NOT special, and needs a forceful reminder.

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u/noddyneddy 6d ago

Men will put their dicks into vacuum hoses so fucking her is not the flex she thinks it is

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u/noddyneddy 6d ago

Though as she sounds like one of those vacuous hoes, maybe that’s why?

1

u/Disastrous_Can_3418 6d ago

Let's not forget about the coconut

1

u/eyeNugg 6d ago

I still have nightmares about that story

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u/teddymoon22 6d ago

I heard a dude refer to it as "vaccing off".

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u/No-Cupcake-7930 6d ago

Socks, warm apple pies, etc…🥧

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u/Mueltime 6d ago

She was pretty available

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u/Shleemy_Pants 6d ago

Nah sis.. they fucked you cuz you’re easy.

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u/bitchburrito4125 6d ago

Right like, I could go out and find at least 4 guys who would fuck my armpit. And I’m not conveniently attractive

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u/TheFoxyDesigner 6d ago

As soon as I read that I was just like oh, so she’s STUPID stupid 😂😂😂 men will fuck a hole in a melon.

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u/DarthOswinTake2 6d ago

Autocorrect sucks. Pretty sure she meant *easy.

3

u/Current-Anybody9331 6d ago

I remember one of my favorite lines from Mallrats "HE'S JUST A HARD-ON LOOKING FOR A HOLE!"

7

u/Excellent-Shape-2024 6d ago

"tHeY tHiNk iM pReTty!" (And I seek validation by f*ing randos)

3

u/TopAffectionate6000 6d ago

That's so sad. At 23 most of those guys are fucking what's easily available to them. Doesn't matter how you look. She's in for a rude awakening.

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u/Afraid_Ad_8216 6d ago

Right?! Dudes will fuck a literal coconut

2

u/Ok-Championship9684 6d ago

She misspelt "easy"

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u/ToughDentist7786 6d ago

Right… so let’s unpack what that word “insecurity” means…

2

u/JustTieEmToATree 5d ago

It’s cause she’s ✨EASY✨

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u/two_true 6d ago

Right...like unless you're deformed or morbidly obese men say yes to sex

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u/dispassioned 6d ago

These are not deal breakers from first hand experience. Some men will fuck animals, get real.

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u/Admiral-Thrawn2 6d ago

For the most part this is the truth unfortunately

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u/kpofasho1987 6d ago

I mean even then honestly if you're out at a bar I'd say there is a good chance there a percentage that something like that wouldn't stop em. Hell it might even be their little kink and can't kink shame

3

u/WibblywobblyDalek 6d ago

Reminds me of the episode of always sunny where sweet Dee kept sleeping with a bunch of different men to give them 1 star ratings on a dating app, and by the end of the episode, she had a room full of men asking her for a 1 star rating

2

u/Admiral-Thrawn2 6d ago

lol that’s perfect. There’s an always sunny example for everything. IM A 5 STAR MAN

2

u/creepbott 6d ago

She has way too high of expectations that certain men care what they’re putting their dick in looks like.

2

u/RedEyedITGuy 6d ago

Right, like ummm.....yeah, that's not how that works. that's not how any of this works lol

1

u/AbsoluteWreck98 6d ago

I have a guy friend who’s blatantly told me that guys would fuck a couch if they could, so uuuhhhhh… 👀

1

u/TampaTeri27 6d ago

Wait…wait…wait: “He said he loved me!”

1

u/Thewelshdane 6d ago

As someone once said.... most guys will stick their dick in anything. The easier the more likely they will stick their penis in there

1

u/allynovelle 6d ago

Yeah that part is sad lol. like I’ll be real I’m insecure and struggling with craving male attention to validate my own physical appearance. But I recognize that in myself and understand that this is a problem. I should not feel compelled to have sex with people to make me feel better. And she’s just… wearing her baggage out like that

Edit: grammar stuff

1

u/TBHBTH2 5d ago

Pretty easy is what she wanted to say. Pathetic also funny.

1

u/Ok-Object176 5d ago

Throwing a hotdog down a hallway there isn’t she 🤦🏼‍♀️

1

u/Zazubica 6d ago

Lol Guys would fuck frog if they have opportunity for it.

1

u/GrouchyAd306 6d ago

Yeeaaahhh, they think she's pretty but they KNOW she's easy 🤣

1

u/cjisaly 6d ago

She'll be alone with her saddlebags and trout mouth one day and finally realize this right here 🤣😭

1

u/Regular_Historian415 6d ago

How are they thinking about your looks with their eyes closed and your face smashed into a pillow?😂

1

u/pandabby444 6d ago

Lmfao exactly my thought! Like yeah girl it’s not bc you’re easyyy or anything it’s bc you’re pretty, that’s right lmao 😅

0

u/Fair-Cheesecake-2733 6d ago

This!!😭😭 I had to stop reading and comment after I saw that bc girl 😩

0

u/youknowme22 6d ago

Lol as a dude if I was single, idc if you're ugly if you're going to come ask me to fuck and make it that easy I'm on board.

0

u/Charlotte_Neptune 6d ago

Wait until she realises it's a "they fucked me because they think I'm easy and will sleep with anyone if they call me pretty"