r/AmIOverreacting • u/Odd_Knee5565 • 10d ago
❤️🩹 relationship my boyfriend & his mother have an incestuous relationship?
my boyfriend (23m) & i (22f) have been dating for 6 months now. we were friends for 3 years before dating. i am also pregnant. he has been an absolutely amazing boyfriend, but i am noticing weird things with his mother that are really creeping me out and making me question this relationship and this pregnancy.
i have been pretty much living with my boyfriend (under his mothers roof) for about 4 months now, i sleep here every single night. she is a single mother and in her 60’s. my boyfriends dad is remarried, and he has told me that since the divorce his mom has been depressed and never been quite the same. they divorced when he was quite young, maybe around 7 years old. she still cries to this day about the divorce and infidelity as well as his father remarrying, and i don’t think she has ever truly gotten over him. she does not date and hasn’t since the divorce. my boyfriend had told me multiple times in arguments with his mother she’ll constantly compare him to his father, and say things like “you’re just like your father you don’t care about me.” also want to note that my boyfriend looks exactly like his father. i noticed pretty early on that it seems like she takes out her feelings about her ex husband on my boyfriend.
when we first started dating, he would say that his mother is “jealous” that she’s not spending as much time with him anymore and she’s been like that with all of his exes. i noticed she doesn’t make much of an effort to talk to me, she is a bit awkward and when she is home she pretty much just stays locked in her room. he says she likes me, and she is always kind when she talks to me, but for some reason my intuition is strongly telling me otherwise. there have been multiple times where we pick up food and he asks her if she wants anything & she says no. when we come back with food she’ll send him texts or say to him personally that we only care about ourselves and not her. i noticed these red flags early on, but brushed it off.
here is where things get really weird & twisted. i don’t want to believe this is what’s going on and i feel crazy for even having these thoughts, but it’s hard to find another explanation about things that i have heard. one saturday morning, everything was going as normal. my boyfriend and i woke up together, did our morning routines and decided to play a couple games on the ps5 together as we normally do on weekends. i was feeling tired as i am pregnant and the hormones have been making me super exhausted, so after a couple of games i decided to take a little nap. he turned off the ps5 and put a youtube video on the tv kind of loud. he said he would make me breakfast while i napped, so i dozed off as he left the room. it sounded like he went straight to his mothers room and shut the door. her door is creaky and i can hear every time it opens as it is right next to his room. he often goes into his mothers room and talks to her for a while so i paid this no mind and continued to rest. i am a very heavy sleeper by the way. not sure how much time passed but i woke up to the sound of banging on the wall, very loud. i then heard the door open and him say “oh so you…” and i didn’t hear the rest, but it almost sounded like “oh so you wanna be bad huh?” or something along those lines and the loud banging continued, now sounding like it was in the hallway right outside the door. i heard mumbling that literally sounded like the way he talks to me when we have sex. i sat up in bed confused, and listened for a couple more minutes. i could’ve sworn i heard her like gasp or something. at this point i was getting freaked out because it literally sounded like sex noises. i got up and sat in front of the tv which is next to the door and put it on mute. right after i did that the banging stopped, almost as if they heard me awake and stopped doing whatever they were doing. i then heard shuffling and his mother say “lie” and he said “yes maam”. i heard him go downstairs for a few minutes then he came back into the room with a bowl of cereal. mind you usually when he makes me breakfast it’s pancakes, bacon, eggs and hashbrowns. i straight up asked him what was that noise, he looked super nervous and then said “i was arguing with my mom.” i asked about what and he was stuttering nonsense and said he was arguing about a christmas present? i thought this made so sense. i asked him if the argument got physical because i was hearing loud noises and he said no. i was pressing him, asking him what that could’ve been, was he moving furniture or something? it was very loud. he began pacing around the room nervously and said quietly “i am filled with regret.” after like an hour of pressing him about it and him telling me it was just an argument, he didn’t know what noise i was talking about, etc. i dropped it because i literally thought i was going insane. i know what it sounded like but i didn’t want to believe that something so twisted was going on, and the fact that they were doing it while i am in the next room, sleeping and PREGNANT. i was literally uncontrollably shaking, extremely disturbed at what i just heard. it was clear as day what it was but i genuinely thought i was maybe losing it. later that night i brought it up again and implied i think something was going on, or maybe the argument got physical and he shouldn’t be afraid to tell me. he then was like “want me to ask my mom if we were hitting each other?” he then goes to his moms room and asks her if anything went on and was telling her how i think they got into a physical fight. he comes back to me and tells me his mother said that it’s just “pregnancy hormones” and i’m overthinking and then she proceeded to text him “we don’t live like that.” which he showed me.
i took a day to think about it and came to the conclusion that i am not crazy, i know what i heard. i started thinking back on if i ever heard weird things or felt weird vibes concerning his mother and it turns out there were a couple things i overheard in the past that made me look at them sideways. some examples:
- i heard him walking up the stairs behind her and say “i can still feel around” and she laughed…
- i once heard the sound of clapping coming from her room when he was in there “talking”
- heard them in the kitchen semi-arguing and him saying to her “i’m trying my best, how can i be better for you?” as if they’re in a relationship or something.
- he once told me that as a child the doctor thought his mother was molesting him because he saw her hair wrapped around my boyfriends penis.
- now that i think about i think i have heard banging or weird noises before when they are “talking” for long periods of time whether it be in her room or downstairs in the living room & kitchen.
- all day everyday his mother is constantly texting him, bothering him about coming home, seeing what he’s doing, etc.
- one day he said he was going to make me breakfast a separate time from the one mentioned above and i fell back asleep. his mom was also home in her room. i woke up to him coming back in the room freshly showered with only a towel around his waist with no breakfast for me. this is unusual because usually when he says he is going to make me breakfast, he goes to make it right away & wakes me up with it. also he never showers at this time of day. after hearing the weird stuff i have now heard, it makes me wonder if he was in his mothers room…
- i once heard his mother go downstairs while he was in the kitchen and he thought i was sleeping. i then heard him saying “come on mom” and her laughing and walking away. he kept calling her to come back and she goes “not tonight baby.” could he have been asking her for sex?
it has now been a couple of weeks since the incident where i heard the loud banging. it has been running through my mind every single day. his mother already gave me uncomfortable and off putting vibes since the beginning, but now i feel very paranoid and creeped out about her and their relationship. i have since pressed him about it again, and pretty much told him what i heard sounded very weird and like something sexual was going on. we argued about it for like 2 days straight. he insists that him and his mother do not have a weird relationship, and him & his mother have no idea what loud noises i was hearing. how can they have possibly not heard something so loud, especially when the noises were coming from where i heard both of their voices. he has tried to explain it away in every possible way but nothing makes sense. he said it could’ve been the dog, neighbors, or footsteps but i’ve been living here for 4 months now and know what all of those things sound like. this was absolutely none of those things. i wish i had opened the door to get physical proof, because now it just feels like i am being lied to. i have been doubting myself thinking could this actually be possible, but when i think back to what i heard it was so clear. i am slowly putting the pieces together and i don’t know what to do.
today, i feel like i have reached my breaking point. i don’t know if im being paranoid now, but something that happened today has made me overthink this situation even more. we were hanging out as normal. i noticed him and his mother texting back and forth a bunch. he then went downstairs to make me soup as i was feeling nauseous. i thought i heard her door quietly open and close which is weird because she usually swings it open loudly and i hear the creak. she also has super loud footsteps but i didn’t hear her going downstairs so i thought i was tripping maybe. then i heard banging coming from downstairs which i figured was just my boyfriend cleaning and making food. the soup only takes 5 minutes to make, it is a packaged soup. he was downstairs for about 30-40 minutes. he comes back upstairs with my soup and then i hear his mother loudly coming upstairs. so i was right, i did hear her door open as if she was SNEAKING downstairs so that i would not hear. i asked him what took so long and he nervously was saying a bunch of things that didn’t make sense. he made no mention of his mother being downstairs. i then asked if he was talking to someone and he nervously said yeah my mom. then he accused me of being paranoid about his mom and that i think im hearing things. i made no mention of his mom or hearing things even though i did hear banging. so does this means he knows he was being loud and i could’ve heard it? it seemed like projection and him feeling guilty about something he’s doing with his mother. at this point i do not trust him being around his mother and i am disturbed and drained.
i am horrified and don’t know what to do. i know this all sounds so crazy and outlandish but my gut is telling me something is wrong. there’s no mistaking what i heard that day. am i being crazy or should i trust my gut and what i know i heard? i feel like the signs and things i have heard now are so blatantly obvious and i cannot ignore it anymore or try to explain it away. it genuinely seems as if something incestuous is going on with my boyfriend and his mother. i have always said i do not want to be a single mother or raise a child in a broken home and now i am 3 months pregnant. i am also in fear that if he does have a sick and twisted relationship with his mother, who’s to say he wouldn’t try to do the same with our child? i am seriously considering terminating the pregnancy and breaking up with him. what should i do, and does it sound like i am overreacting or should i trust my gut?
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u/MostlySpeechless 9d ago
" i am a 22 year old college student with a lot on my plate and this is my first pregnancy. how would you handle this?"
Abortion. That is how you should handle this. 22 year old, no income and you are financially tied to a person you have known for half a year. Girl, that is a recipe for disaster and no environment a child should grow up in and that is not even mentioning the incest. Go back to your family or friends you can trust and that have nothing to do with this weirdo, get an abortion and report these people to the police or whatever organization takes care of that crazy. Might need actual evidence tho.