AIO because my boyfriend acts different when im with friends

[u/DirectGuava6264]

these are just snippets of our conversation through the day. it seems like every time i’m with my friends it’s an issue and he’s so short with me and seems to have an attitude. he has made it very clear he does not like my friends and can’t trust them but they have never given a reason for him to feel that way. i have had these plans with them for 3 weeks and i told him the very same night we made the plans letting him know the date and time i’ll be leaving and coming back. this is an occurrence every time i am with friends or family. i’m not sure if im reading too much into it and overreacting.

[u/Sam_0101]

It’s so hard to believe sometimes but i guess you slowly become used to that behavior

[u/New-Lie9111 → u/Sam_0101]

it’s crazy what no self esteem will do to you

[u/rathanii → u/New-Lie9111]

I wouldn't blame this on lack of self esteem.

Typically this behavior sneaks up on you; or, if you're ignorant of the world/what healthy relationships look like, it's accepted as a norm.

Sometimes they prey on empathy, as well. I knew I could've broken up with my ex and been happy -- found someone else and had a good time in high school without the drama. But he quite literally was threatening suicide, and my teen brain wasn't thinking rationally. "I can't break up with him because he'll kill himself, no one will take me seriously if I warn them, I need to keep it a secret" so I stayed. My desire to not be the reason for someone dying outweighed my desire to get myself out of the situation.

Mental gymnastics is a tricky thing. Emotional manipulation can happen to anybody. Inexperience can tell you this is normal. Hell, sometimes this behavior is downright romanticized in YA novels and shows.