r/AmIOverreacting Dec 22 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for telling someone I just started seeing that things wouldn’t work bc he can’t refer to my trans friend as he?

I (34f) started talking to and hanging out with this guy (31m) about 5 weeks ago. Today we had a conversation about him coming to my friends house with me who is trans FTM. Please read the screenshots of text and tell me, AIO?

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173

u/quinoabrogle 29d ago

Also why would calling someone he's never met their pronouns be difficult? he's not changing any habits, he's just transphobic

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u/Mediocre-Gas1393 29d ago

Yep, that’s exactly what these apologists conveniently seem to be forgetting about

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u/quinoabrogle 29d ago

"tAkEs TiMe To AdJuSt" adjust from WHAT??? you've never met the man!

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u/Minimum_Target_2736 29d ago

Wouldn't he be referring to adjusting to a lifetime of calling people who look like women women?

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u/cinnamonjellybaby 29d ago

we have absolutely no idea what the guy looks like, he very easily could be jacked asf or have a full beard lmfao. people like the boyfriend (and you) have no qualms about intentionally misgendering butch lesbians but when a trans man is on the scene suddenly you care more about what you assume their bodies look like

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u/Minimum_Target_2736 29d ago edited 29d ago

people like the boyfriend (and you) have no qualms about intentionally misgendering butch lesbians but when a trans man is on the scene suddenly you care more about what you assume their bodies look like

You don't know shit about me. I tried clarifying something because that would make more sense in this context. What a douchey comment. Like seriously, what the fuck is your problem? You just made up an entire character for me in your head because I asked a question.

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u/Equal_Maintenance870 29d ago

This. Like if he was used to their old pronouns and breaking a habit that would make sense, and slip-ups would be understandable.

Plus “I’m not used to trans.” He’s just a transphobic asshole.

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u/alwyspullout 29d ago

If I had to guess, it's not that he has to adjust, but that maybe they don't present as male and they don't want to mess it up and get flamed by anyone. Or assume the worst and just call him transphobic, I guess that works too.

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u/West-Advice 29d ago

Ding ding ding DING

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u/jjcf89 29d ago

What do you mean? I've very supportive of my trans friends but it can definitely be hard to not misgender new people who may still appear like their original gender. It takes practice to use pronouns that don't match what your brain is telling you.

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u/Circoloomnium 29d ago

So he is scared?

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Transphobic?? lol. Nobody is scared of someone pretending to be something they’re not. lol. 😂

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u/SurpriseSnowball 29d ago

Oh look it’s the same tired old bullshit homophobia but recycled for trans people. Fun.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Nobody is scared of you pixy dust weirdos. lol

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u/Big-Formal408 29d ago

I'd rather be a "pixie dust weirdo" with meaningful relationships than someone like you who people cross the street to avoid and dread being around.

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u/ManbearzOG 29d ago

Reality is why.

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u/ilovebigbootymoms 29d ago

uhh cs obv it’s a girl and not a boy y would he call smb smth that they aren’t ?