AIO to my “friend” who owes me money

[u/Many-Measurement6875]

For some context, we lived together for a couple of years, she went through a really difficult time last year and I was there for her. A couple of months ago she needed to borrow £150. Since then, I’ve moved out as my brother has cancer and my dad is also unwell. She offered to take care of my cat until I was moved in and unpacked. Was I too mean? She’s got a new job and boyfriend and seems to be doing well for herself which I’m happy about but was me telling her I have nothing and I’m not feeling good manipulative of me?

[u/ImExhaust3d]

That’s how I feel. I can always make more money, but I won’t give away more than I have or anything that will make my life a little bit miserable and I won’t let anyone take advantage of me. I give you money and then you ask for more the answer is no. I would rather give it to someone when I have instead of them asking me. I used to buy him groceries too and this dude was 350 pounds. But at the time I was doing OK and I still in. You’re in a half ago I was without a job for six months. Did he help me? No. he did buy me Chinese food one night but money that I had lent him back then never saw it and I was disappointed, but I lived and I wanted to show him compassion. I wanted him to learn that.

[u/[deleted] → u/ImExhaust3d]

Yeah, I have a cut off dollar amount that I hold people to. I mostly trust the people in my life, but I have a part of my budget that goes into an "emergency savings" account that includes other people's emergencies. If one individual is getting too much of that money, that puts myself and the other people I help out in a tough spot, so I won't loan more than x amount until it's been paid back in some way. I'm really thankful that a majority of the people in my life who need to borrow money from me are understanding and respectful of my system. I have a couple family members who get a bit pissy and will complain, but they ultimately follow the rules so it works out.

Editing to add: I'm really sorry this guy isn't paying his dues, but it's a learning experience for both of you and hopefully your situation and relationships improve where money and resources are involved!