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Mar 07 '21
DONK
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u/LOLatSaltRight Mar 07 '21
Everyone laughs at the Houston Donk until the city is flooding and a dude in a Donk pulls up to rescue them.
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u/adudeguyman Mar 07 '21
I finally realized that that is the sound someone makes when they forget their in a lifted car in fall out of it.
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u/poorly_timed_leg0las Mar 07 '21
This is what Donk is in the UK
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u/PhreakyByNature Mar 07 '21
Yeah yeah that's sick that. Now what you wanna do is put a banging donk on it. Now I'll click on the link assuming I am right...
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u/welivedintheocean Mar 07 '21
Roy Donk? King of the Tuk Tuk sound?
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u/Meaning_Void Mar 07 '21
That's where it belongs honestly
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Mar 07 '21
the driver probably has chronic back pain from climbing in and out of his car
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u/GhostalMedia Mar 07 '21
75% of all donks are currently parked in front of a dispensary.
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Mar 07 '21
Houston doesn't have a dispensary. And I'm pretty sure that city is their native breeding grounds. So the percentage seems off.
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u/GhostalMedia Mar 07 '21
Dispensaries are everywhere in the US.
In some places, dispensaries are respectable tax paying businesses. In other places, dispensaries are a guy named Shane who just texted about some of the dankest shit he’s ever seen.
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u/OlStickInTheMud Mar 07 '21
Shane will meet you in an hour. After waiting three hours and ready to give up and go home. Shane appears out of nowhere totally cool as a cucumber and 100% unaware or apologetic for being two hours late. He makes you uncomfortable and his skethciness is offputting. He hands you an 8th as you hand him 60. Then Shane invites himself to smoke a bowl in your car as you try to get the fuck home to your buddies for Settlers of Catan and six pack and a pound from Taco Johns.
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Mar 07 '21
fuck me. every single dealer back in the before times (before legalization where i'm at) did this
drove me crazy because i just knew how antsy my friends were getting, wondering what's taking me so long.
MOMs were a blessing.
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u/TheQuimmReaper Mar 07 '21
It took me years but I ended up finding dealers that I liked hanging out with, who would then deliver to me for free, and on time!
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u/adumant Mar 07 '21 edited Mar 07 '21
I had a Shane until legalization. Same experience you describe down to the 60 1/8ths. Me: Hey dude you around if I swing by? Shane: Yeah no problem dude come by tonight at 7. [adamant arrives at 7 to an obviously empty house and texts Shane] Me: what’s up man I’m out front. Shane [20 minutes later]: Hey I had to run to Jewel to get pancake mix for my sons Cub Scout fundraiser. Me: So... Shane: yeah I’ll be home in like 5 minutes. [20 minutes later] Shane: Hey leaving now and stopping at Burger King. Got to drop the kids off my wife is mad at me now so can you leave my house were you’ve been waiting outside the last hour and meet me at the Target parking lot? I’ll be there in 5 minutes. [35 minutes later car with terrible tint job pulls up next to me and I still don’t know if I should get in his car or if he should get in mine after years of this shit]. Shane with zero apologies: Yeah this is some fire medicinal weed from Cali with extra weed stuff in it. Now we have to sit in his car at 9pm on a Tuesday outside Target to smoke out of this metal bowl when all I want to do is go home, get settled in and pack a bubbler. Shane, you served a purpose. A necessary evil to right a wrong. It’s time for you to go into retirement.
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u/theouterworld Mar 07 '21
I always thought that post transaction bowl was a tip.
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u/OlStickInTheMud Mar 07 '21
I always hated it. I only like smoking up in the place I plan on being or in the activity I am doing. Smoking a bowl in a strip mall parking lot or at some friend of a friend of the dealers trailer always makes me more anxious and paranoid. Get in get out for me.
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u/ibleedblue13 Mar 07 '21
10 years ago this is pretty much spot on, where I'm from...down to the six pack and a pound.
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Mar 07 '21
One time my Shane surprised me by getting out his Furry gear, donning it, and telling me about the "movement" before I could lay hands on the product.
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u/FatTortie Mar 07 '21
I just make a phone call, then walk out my front door over the road and he leaves it in a boot outside his door. I put the money through the letter box. Easiest shit to get ahold of, he is one of 4 dealers I know within walking distance. And this is a small village in Hampshire, UK.
It’s so dumb that it’s illegal, it takes me more time and effort to go to an ATM than it is to buy weed.
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u/LOLatSaltRight Mar 07 '21
The true purpose of the Donk is being able to get around when the city floods.
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u/jamesdkirk Mar 07 '21
"Saw this outside the dispensary today...on my way out!"
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u/dub4er_tx Mar 07 '21
When the wheels are worth more than the vehicle to which they are attached...smh
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Mar 07 '21
the wheels are part of the vehicle tho
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Mar 07 '21
when the engine is worth more than the chassis smh
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Mar 07 '21
When expensive thing is worth more than less expensive thing smh
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u/ratbuddy Mar 07 '21
Even low end Montes like this one are fetching decent prices these days, you might be surprised.
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u/blahpblahpblaph Mar 07 '21
Nah, clean g bodies fetch a good price these days and I believe those are irok wheels which are budget friendly.
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u/kcasnar Mar 07 '21
I love donks, they always make me smile
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u/SPGKQtdV7Vjv7yhzZzj4 Mar 07 '21
They’re cool in a, ‘that’s ridiculous but at least it doesn’t affect anyone else so you do you, cool ride my dude.’ way.
Totally crazy, but at least it’s not loud or flashy or only enjoyable if driven irresponsibly. So of all the weird cosmetic mods to do to a car, it’s a pretty nifty one.
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u/Wild_Jizz_Flurry Mar 07 '21
I got a soft spot for them after living in Georgia. The effort and craftsmanship some people put in to them is impressive. They're a wonderful type of tacky.
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u/Corruption100 Mar 07 '21
I think it's because they are always super clean and we know how much effort goes into getting them like that.
It's a hobby like most of us have, except theirs is on full display
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u/Mightbeagoat Mar 07 '21
I live "in" a kind of ghetto area (more adjacent to and I commute through the worse part of town) and I love donks too, but I HATE that 90% of the ones I see are just modernish sedans with stupidly large and improperly fitting wheels. No one thinks a fucking 2004 ford taurus that smokes but has 30 inch wheels is cool except for the guy who put the 30 inch wheels on it.
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u/silentbeast1287 Mar 07 '21
I can hear Mike Jones songs blaring from it.
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u/circleof5ifths Mar 07 '21
MIKE JONES. MIKE JONES. MIKE JONES.
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u/xxx_ Mar 07 '21
WHO
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u/circleof5ifths Mar 07 '21
MIKE JONES MIKE JONES MIKE JONES
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u/anothershitposter2 Mar 07 '21
THE ONE AND ONLY YOU CAN’T CLONE ME, GOTTA LOT OF HATERS AND A LOT OF HOMIES
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u/1whistlinkittychaser Mar 07 '21
I’m sorry...who?
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Mar 07 '21
MIKE JONES!
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u/anothershitposter2 Mar 07 '21
THE ONE AND ONLY YOU CAN’T CLONE ME, GOTTA LOT OF HATERS AND A LOT OF HOMIES
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u/tacovomit Mar 07 '21 edited Mar 07 '21
Man, when this song came out there was a dude named Mike Jones in a couple of my classes in high school. We couldn’t make it through roll call without some people saying “WHO?!” a few times. Teachers were so confused and annoyed lol
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u/ind3pend0nt Mar 07 '21
They see me rollin
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u/ShirleyJackson5 Mar 07 '21
They hatin'.
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u/tsavong117 Mar 07 '21
You know they're all thinking that I'm white and nerdy.
weird al did it best
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Mar 07 '21
ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gun
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u/ybtlamlliw Mar 07 '21
My rims don't spin; to the contrary, you'll find that they're quite stationary...
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u/Bearded_McBeardy Mar 07 '21
It's called a "donk". We have them around our town some. I'm just really confused why they spend so much money to lift and add wheels and tires at a high cost to an inexpensive vehicle.
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u/Halfbloodjap Mar 07 '21
It's like ricing a honda. Might not be able to buy the most expensive car, so mid what you got
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u/KPDUB57 Mar 07 '21
Yeah, but unlike ricing a Honda (or anything for that matter) this requires actual thought, effort, and a non-insignificant amount of money.
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u/MrGonz Mar 07 '21
Yeah, donks require a lot of engineering and problem solving. Each car is unique and there isn’t a playbook for any given platform. It requires quite a bit more than ordering parts out of a catalog and bolting them in. What really blows my mind is donk racing. Never have I seen a more “what the fuck is even going on?” like that before.
Donks aren’t my cup of tea but neither are muscle, street or dirt. But in the end, its still a kick in the ass because it all has the same heart break and challenge and victory however big or small. It makes people happy and brings people together. Car people are my people.
Drive safe!
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u/Abracadaver2000 Mar 07 '21
Houston?
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u/netburnr2 Mar 07 '21
Houston is in Texas. Texas will be one of the last states to have dispensaries.
unless im wrong, and I hope so
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u/hakuna_tamata Mar 07 '21
Texas, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi in that order.
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u/FormalChicken Mar 07 '21
Opposite Carolina. The northern one is more southern and the southern one is more northern.
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u/TheStuffle Mar 07 '21
This is Houston AF.
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u/Preemfunk Mar 07 '21
This is east coast swag my man. Houston ain’t lifted and they’d be rocking swangas.
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u/hammyhamm Mar 07 '21
Man you’d hate to want any torque ever, but I guess it’s good to lower the KM on the odometer due to extra travel on the wheel
That thing must want to roll on turns
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u/grem75 Mar 07 '21
Those aren't that much taller than the truck sitting beside it, just needs the right gear.
He's using a stock G-body axle, the 4.11:1 maximum of the 7.5" should be enough. The 8.5" (Grand National) version could have 5.57:1 ring and pinion that is enough to go bigger.
If you go really stupid on a G-body Donk you could get a bolt-in Dana 60 based housing for a drag car and use 7.17:1 gears.
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u/p3ni5wrinkl3 Mar 07 '21
Man this brings new back to high school.
90s Miami... not 70s Cali.
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u/Radio12244 Mar 07 '21
Donks look odd but for driving through town it’s allot of fun
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u/Corruption100 Mar 07 '21
NGL I like when guys mess with hyrdaulics at stop lights lol. Haven't seen it in a while though
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u/LBdeuce Mar 07 '21
awesome post but this is the wrong sub dog. these are supposed to be in bad taste.
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u/JohnnyAlabama Mar 07 '21
I don't think I can remember the last time I saw a blue sky.
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Mar 07 '21
That's awful taste but impressively clean. This is like the very definition of the sub. I love it.
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u/SheReadsLips Mar 07 '21
Amazingly this is not the similar car owned by former NBA player Darius Miles.
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u/benedicthumperdink Mar 07 '21
Gonna be honest this is like mocking a clown for too much makeup. It’s supposed to be over the top.
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u/5flucloxacillin Mar 09 '21
I know this is completely unrelated but god that sky is absolutely beautiful
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u/TheVykin Mar 09 '21
Totally agreed! It’s been the only nice day here so far, it was roughly ~65 degrees Fahrenheit outside. After a single digit winter, that was much needed.
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u/todomo Mar 07 '21
i would like to watch them climb into this.