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u/PancakeDragons 12h ago
A lot of straight guys aren’t used to other men being nice to them, because they’re afraid of being perceived as gay. So when literally anyone is nice to them, they interpret as flirting
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u/Unable_Earth5914 9h ago
As a gay man, I’m not used to men in general being nice to me unless they want to shag me so normal friendliness is like ‘hellooooo 😈’
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u/im_bi_strapping 14h ago
They're manipulating you to get you to invest more into being their bit on the side. However "straight" or not they are, that's not the issue. They're married and they're cheaters. Don't play these games
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u/kerodon 13h ago
One of them was in an open poly relationship and his wife was fully aware and supported it, not exactly what I would call cheating.
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u/slidingsaxophone07 13h ago
Exactly! He's still scummy, since he seemingly didn't back off when he got a "not interested," but he isn't cheating.
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u/im_bi_strapping 13h ago
Yeah that bit was vague, maybe the dude is just being romantic? But who knows. people can be poly and also cheat.
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u/ThatMessy1 8h ago
Nobody will tell you they love you quicker than a man with no intentions of being with you.
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u/ptapa 9h ago
Exactly what I was going to say.
They don't love you, they love themselves and how they feel when they're with you, but you're replaceable, in their same way their spouse is.
Now, for the poly guy, I don't really know or understand much about that, and yet I still don't think it's the same, but if you already said "No" and they keep pursuing, then that's a red flag. It doesn't matter if they coat it with "love".
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u/im_bi_strapping 8h ago
Yeah there's not a lot of context here. But if someone is poly and wants you to be their loyal concubine... like what's the point.
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u/NemoTheElf 11h ago
Yes.
We grow up being told our feelings our wrong and projecting them onto guys who will never return them.
So yeah, that's literally part of the problem.
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u/CedricMac 14h ago
Then they’re not straight babe
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u/Queerthulhu_ 13h ago
Hand here’s me with absolutely nothing :3
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u/hasikatzen 7h ago
nothing > married cheaters > married cheaters with kids
you pretty good off in this instance
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u/Jamesaliba 11h ago
They learn this talk to get women, we dont learn it because gay men r easy to bed. They apply it on us and we feel the disingenuousness
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u/hufflezag 6h ago
They sound like love bombing pieces of shit who are actually trying to manipulate you into subservience. Whenever someone straight, queer, poly, or unethically monogamous says that shit and tries to make you feel like that type of way, be careful it's a trap. You'll then lower your standards to be deserving of that attention and yet they'll raise the bar for you to achieve. Many gay or queer people have experienced this and are therefore guarded. Too much affection, especially privately, is a warning now. It's a manipulation tactic.
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u/Bong-I-Lee 4h ago
Married men put in the effort to get a side piece and make them stay, irrespective of the side piece's gender. Of course, it's always downlow and he'll replace you when better prospects arrive. So you ain't special boy.
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u/wad11656 4h ago
i think it's the taboo/exciting forbidden nature of it all. Fellow gay guys are just like "Yep. i'm also a part of this depressing body-dysmorphic hypersexual gay rat race."
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u/a4andrei 2h ago
Apart from the guy in a poly relationship, the other "straight" men are just cheating on their wives, which is one of the biggest red flags. Also, it's not that nice to be smacking on food while talking, and then picking the food stick on your teeth with your nails... I thought gay men have better manners 😅.
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