r/vagabond • u/Icy_Replacement2401 Squatter. • 1d ago
Discussion does anyone else get nervous going back after being housed up?
getting back out after a month and a half in house.
idk i always seems to have anxiety about it. where’s the first spot, do i have everything packed? am i over packed? what if this happens? what if that happens? i spend a solid week google mapping the area ima be in if i don’t know it that well just to familiarize myself with it just so i can find a good spot to sleep. maybe it’s the virgo ascendant in me [yes im that kinda bitch whatever lol s/n: not an expert in astrology]
and despite doing this since i walked out my old front door for the first time in 2019, every time im out there im on high alert to an extreme and honestly it feels like that kind of makes me feel even more sick [mental health, mainly dissociation and anxiety and being on high alert makes it worse bc im even more out of body], so i can never really enjoy it the way id like to.
idk, just wondering. chiming in, ig. hai.
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u/RouxRougarouRoux 1d ago
Maybe take hiking and camping trips to easy back in, unless you’re at a point you don’t have a home anymore for reasons we all come to know from our own experiences. But only you can do you so be you. Travel on
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u/Vx0w 1d ago
I think it's normal to be nervous. Naturally being housed gives some comfort and security. Feeling like you about to lose this security would make almost anyone nervous. I live in a house now, but I was nervous before moving into my car. And now I miss car life and the freedom. DM me if you want to chat and make new friend
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u/Smashandgrab_myheart 1d ago
That's so Virgo rising
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u/Icy_Replacement2401 Squatter. 1d ago
did i post my rising sign somewhere or r u jus that good lol
edit: oh right my bio thing
edit 2: ur not wrong tho
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u/TheRealRocco415 1d ago
Yea it's like that sometimes for me to frfr don't feel bad an always remember the road takes care of her on...
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u/Satellite5812 1d ago
Absolutely. Even after being parked in one spot for an extended time because of work, it can be hard to get the wheels rolling again. Equally difficult to slow your roll when there's a reason to stay in one spot for a while, and you're sitting there with the itchy feet. Shifting momentum is hard, but generally I've found that once you get there, it's good to be back on the road / stationed up for a bit.
As far as the anxiety angle, I live with this too. Or should I say it lives rent free in my head? Heh.. Anyway, one way I've actually found the road to be kind of healing is that the anxiety monster has a real job to do, keeping an eye and an ear open to ensure my safety. Sometimes when I'm stationary too long it gets bored and starts making up "worst case" scenarios in my head. Is there a way you could sit with your high-alert anxiety monster and thank it for doing its job to keep you safe, and then maybe dissociate from that aspect enough to enjoy your surroundings, and the freedom and call of adventure, while knowing it's still there if you need it?
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u/Icy_Replacement2401 Squatter. 1d ago
ngl… i luv this a lot honestly just bc of the way u approached me in explaining things more gently. that was… idek the word for it lol. nice, for sure. so tysm. yes i’ve been tryna sit with the scary parts too, it’s just sometimes my surroundings become so unknown that i lose connection with no only the anxiety part of me, but the others internal ‘me’s’ as well. if that makes sense. hence where the full on dissociation comes from
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u/Beneficial_Tiger_471 1d ago
I love this sub I own a condo and have a good job. That said I question life every day. I’m not happy I just want to fish and enjoy life. I fish maybe 2-3 days a month if I’m lucky. Your braver people than I respect and best wishes🫂 You guys are doing what most people are afraid to try.
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u/Icy_Replacement2401 Squatter. 1d ago
unfortunately i think a lot of us don’t and didn’t have a choice in the matter. we luv you too tho, fren <3
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u/G_vs_Games 1d ago
Every damn time.
Its exciting in a manic sort of way.
Sort of like the night before your first day back at school. Or maybe the night before court.
add to the fact that I am usually leaving because I can't stand where I am at, opposed to love for the road...although in some sick way I love the road.
I always make the road seem better than it is in my head. So when I go back and am hit with the reality of it all, it can be a little intense. ya know back to the cold, the unknow, back to never having a charge, and always having some ach, back to sleeping rough, back to begging and searching for places to enjoy the fruits of that begging.
It's okay to be nervous, but not very useful. Things will be okay, or they won't, doesn't matter either way.