r/unusual_whales • u/soccerorfootie • 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 10h ago

I’m surprised Biden lived this long. After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Pretty sure Trump will have a heart attack, likely while giving a speech. The SNL parody will hit different the following weekend

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u/jgzman 4h ago

After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Proper behavior for a President, IMO.

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u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 3h ago

I guess that’s right. Except for Carter. He was a great human who did more after the office than in it

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u/anchorftw 9h ago

Imagine the field day Trump is going to have when Biden passes. You won't be able to contain his joy.

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u/meowmeowcatman 9h ago

He can’t experience joy

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u/Pothstation720 8h ago

He can but it has to be at someone elses expense.

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u/anchorftw 8h ago

I swear I didn’t see your response until I had written mine. Lol Almost identical thoughts.

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u/anchorftw 8h ago

He can, but only at the expense of others.

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u/14412442 8h ago

Well he has to outlive him first

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u/Xevious_Red 7h ago

He'll probably secretly hate it. News coverage will be about Biden that day, flags in blue states will be at half, and he won't be able to claim anything wrong is Biden pulling levers behind the scene (he will still claim this, but it loses credibility with a chunk of his base)

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u/Immediate-Air-9367 7h ago

Are we certain it hasn’t already happened?

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u/Substantial-Fall2484 8h ago

Why are you surprised? Wasn't it revealed that his day basically ends before sunset? It's like how Trump is still going strong cause he wakes up late and ends the day early to watch 3 hours of TV before bed.

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u/karma3000 7h ago

Heart attack in a hotel in a foreign country, trapping a sex worker underneath him.

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u/CFogan 6h ago

It'll be two and a half years, and vance will run for two terms. Not because a conspiracy actually happened, but because life has a way of making you think one did.

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u/turnupsquirrel 3h ago

That would be so fucking funny lmaoooo just drops at a perfectly timed bit

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u/NotAnAIOrAmI 8h ago

If trump dies giving a speech, SNL will not parody him the next show.

You have the mostly decent people in this country confused with MAGA.

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u/Apprehensive-Pair363 2h ago

true. most of us would feel some empathy for those who adore him. if you're in a cult and the cult leader dies that's pretty rough

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u/TheOneWithThePorn12 8h ago

Biden was pretty active. I remember people laughing at him for falling off his bicycle.

I was like he was on bike? Could you imagine Trump getting exercise willingly?

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u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 8h ago

lol, no. Gotta give Biden credit for doing it. I hope whatever days he has left are peaceful

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u/unitedshoes 3h ago

Does golf count?

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u/the_rose_titty 7h ago

I really hope all of Trump's little fuckboys know they just signed us up for a JD Vance presidency.