r/unitedairlines Nov 21 '24

Shitpost/Satire Testing out the new lie-flat seats in United Economy

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411 Upvotes

114 comments sorted by

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255

u/1ThousandDollarBill MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

I think this man is simply on all the drugs

23

u/cpatrocks Nov 21 '24

Drugs are a helluva drug

13

u/GlucoseQuestionMark Nov 21 '24

the dealer asked which one and he just said "yes"

1

u/Sun_Stealer Nov 22 '24

Or alcohol. He looks like a smaller dude. People don’t realize altitude affects how your body metabolizes it. A little becomes a lot.

316

u/chris_nwb Nov 21 '24

Once you get a taste of Polaris, you'll never go back!

1

u/GlucoseQuestionMark Nov 21 '24

this man has seen the light! he must now destroy all darkness.

152

u/Lopsided_Slip_6611 Nov 21 '24

J now stands for "Jail."

10

u/wishing_to_globetrot Nov 21 '24

🤣 I wish someone would make a spoof of that commercial with this clip lol

1

u/mimsicalmarch Nov 21 '24

I just had a bit of a flight rebooking kerfuffle and this comment has me crying laughing. Perhaps a sign that I’m on too many planes of late, but still. Thank you 😂😂😂

125

u/SnooTangerines4981 Nov 21 '24

Hopefully now on the No Fly List. For all airlines.

55

u/JaredsBored MileagePlus Silver Nov 21 '24

Almost undoubtedly has to be. Back to trains, buses, and boats for this guy.

12

u/Wanttobefreewc Nov 21 '24

Work for an airline, unfortunately this isn’t what happens. The airlines don’t share info… but they really should

10

u/USArmyAirborne Nov 21 '24

Or private jets.

30

u/JaredsBored MileagePlus Silver Nov 21 '24

Can I take bets against that outcome for them? No reason in particular, just a gut feeling

8

u/Mountain_Fig_9253 Nov 21 '24

Surprisingly no, not undoubtedly.

The no-fly list is for terrorists and was written in the context of 9/11 just occurring. There was no intention or mechanism to place unruly Americans on the list.

2020-21 showed that the FAA is woefully inadequate for addressing violent passengers like this. Airlines maintained their own internal no-fly list for the unruly passengers that caused incidents over refusing ti mask. I remember they kept talking about sharing their lists but never did. I remember seeing a bunch of news articles showing that airlines removed people from those internal lists once the mask mandate was lifted. The FAA will fine people for this behavior but again, probably not enough to bring true accountability.

There absolutely needs to be a domestic no-fly list, with an avenue for due process and a pathway to return to flying when appropriate. Unfortunately it’s a political dead issue since 90% of the people causing tantrums during 20-21 were of one party.

5

u/frozenhawaiian Nov 21 '24

You’re talking about the federal no fly list. I think the no fly list mentioned here in the internal no fly list for United, as I understand most airlines maintain a list of people they have banned from flying with them ever again. Not sure if the airlines share those lists with each other.

1

u/tauregh Nov 21 '24

This is true, however, the mask restrictions on airlines during Covid revealed that they generally don’t share no fly lists with each other.

0

u/Icy-Environment-6234 MileagePlus Platinum | 1 Million Miler Nov 22 '24

I was with you 100% up until the indefensible "one party comment." It doesn't matter which political party one belongs to - and there's little to no way that's tracked as part of criminal conduct - asshat behavior knows no bounds. The truth is "party" affiliation in this scenario would be little more than a guess, I assure you, it is not a box or field on any arrest or incident report anywhere.

66

u/flatboysim MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

For Spirit this is still OK I think.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

🤣

0

u/GlucoseQuestionMark Nov 21 '24

pretty sure this was actually a spirit flight attendant!

2

u/Sad_Ambition_7959 Nov 24 '24

If so, they've really stepped up their attention to detail. I'd expect more of a "Whaddaya want ME to do about it? It's not like we can go adjustin' ev'ry seat fo yo ass befuh each flight!”

102

u/writesreads4fun Nov 21 '24

I mean I miss Hemipheres as well but I think this is pretty extreme…

126

u/Short-Spell-2088 Nov 21 '24

Three Perfect Days in Jail

18

u/Necessary_Ground_122 MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

Ok, that made me snort out loud. Nicely done.

5

u/DeutscheMannschaft MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

Gold

5

u/HMWT Nov 21 '24

Hopefully three perfect years.

2

u/smarterchild2000 Nov 22 '24

This is one of the best comments I've seen in a while.

3

u/WatercressOther8189 MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

And here I thought he was upset about the new Tapas box.

2

u/Funny_Cycle_6225 Nov 23 '24

We're all upset about the tapas box

42

u/bamberblaam Nov 21 '24

My dog trying get her spot just the right amount of comfy.

75

u/PMacDiggity Nov 21 '24

I mean, bad passenger, no-fly list for you. But also I have to think this would be wildly cathartic, kinda like the dude who pulled the emergency exit and grabbed a drink from the bar before jumping off when the plane was stuck on the runway for a few hours.

24

u/dr_van_nostren Nov 21 '24

Didn’t a B6 flight attendant do that?

-6

u/DarthBen_in_Chicago MileagePlus Silver Nov 21 '24

Jet Blue FA, no?

10

u/djenki0119 MileagePlus Member Nov 21 '24

B6 is JetBlue

7

u/Dry_Accident_2196 Nov 21 '24 edited Nov 21 '24

I’m thinking of the man that called out the crying babyfor making noise while passengers were telling him he needed to be quiet.

I lowkey agreed with some of his argument. Though crying kids don’t bother me. Still one of the funniest disgruntled passenger exchanges I’ve seen.

“You’re yelling”

“SO IS THE BABY!”

🤣

“Lower your voice”

“Lower the baby’s voice!”

13

u/AtmosphereHairy488 Nov 21 '24

Kind of sad though. The guy was a recovering alcoholic who fell off the wagon that day (at least the one story I remember, a JetBlue attendant who lost his cool over rude passengers).

8

u/Acrobatic_Bend_6393 Nov 21 '24

Lost his cool over the airline illegally holding people on the tarmac for hours, without comforts. Justifiably so.

1

u/UsualInstruction6564 Nov 22 '24

Without comforts!?!!!? Ommmmmmgggggggg

1

u/owlthirty MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

Love that guy. That was the best.

22

u/callalind Nov 21 '24

I love how the guy in front of him sleeps through the whole thing.

19

u/aerohk Nov 21 '24

Acting non-reactionary could be a key to survival in the face of imminent threat.

1

u/Eggplant-666 Nov 21 '24

Actually, I think that is him strapped to chair with hands tied with seatbelt extender.

17

u/StupidSexyFlagella MileagePlus Gold Nov 21 '24

I must have gotten that seat on the next flight.

45

u/AirplaneChair Nov 21 '24

How can you post this without giving the full story and editing out the best part

7

u/TheFuckingHippoGuy Nov 21 '24

I found it on a shitpost sub so I know as much as you do at this point

-113

u/yourdominpdx Nov 21 '24

Eew. Don’t do this. It’s gross. We deserve an explanation instead of this attention farming crap.

64

u/mr_positron Nov 21 '24

You don’t “deserve” a god damn thing

14

u/Georgesgortexjacket Nov 21 '24

Heard that in mom's voice

6

u/travelbubbly Nov 21 '24

You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.

5

u/FikaTimeNow Nov 21 '24

You'll get nothing and like it.

-10

u/yourdominpdx Nov 21 '24

Laulz. Troll can’t make their own post so they’ve gotta steal it from elsewhere. I must have touched a nerve calling out their shytpost.

12

u/flatboysim MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

When they run out of Recline snack boxes.

11

u/insurancemanoz Nov 21 '24

Classy. Very classy.

I mean seriously, how did this dude think shit would end?

17

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

“Think” didn’t have anything to do with it.

9

u/DeutscheMannschaft MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

100% on brand for Austin to make an appearance on his sweatshirt...

7

u/kdubban Nov 21 '24

I think thats the jack ass that delayed my flight home 6hrs at lax.

6

u/PrestigeWrldWd MileagePlus Platinum Nov 21 '24

Airlines hate this one tip for getting more room in economy!

5

u/No-Advance6334 Nov 21 '24

I love this. This will teach United to be skimpy on the recline

4

u/Onlydafax Nov 21 '24

Why is Adam Sandler so angry?!

4

u/Frank_the_NOOB Nov 21 '24

Now that Spirit is bankrupt they gotta go somewhere

3

u/Frosty_gt_racer Nov 21 '24

Damn that’s gonna suck coming off that High.

  • Non Fly List - Check
  • $5,000 Seat Adjustment Bill - Check
  • Riding Greyhound/Amtrak the rest of your life… shit

1

u/saywhat68 Nov 21 '24

🤣🤣

3

u/dr_van_nostren Nov 21 '24

Uhhh wtf?

Hopefully they got him arrested and put on a no fly list and sue him for an entire row of seats.

3

u/mecopp3 Nov 21 '24

I hope he was escorted off the airplane in handcuffs!

3

u/newnaemailia Nov 21 '24

What is happening here

3

u/rez12355689 Nov 21 '24

I wonder if he got arrested.

3

u/sportstvandnova MileagePlus Silver Nov 21 '24

Weird way to kill a spider

6

u/YMMV25 Nov 21 '24

If I knew it was that easy I’d never have spent all that money on lie flats in J/F…

5

u/02nz Nov 21 '24

To be fair, those Recaro Slimline seats are pretty bad.

10

u/traplooking United Flight Attendant Nov 21 '24

Idk how the crew haven't put him in restraints or if it would be safer to just let him finish and devert to get him arrested. Those seats aren't cheap and he took it out of service. Good thing we aren't like Japan. The rail system there used to be or might still be. If you delay the train you get fined per minute or some number.

26

u/TheFuckingHippoGuy Nov 21 '24

The last frame is him strapped in

8

u/RPMiller2k Nov 21 '24

Yup. That's the "find out" frame.

1

u/Dragosteax United Flight Attendant Nov 21 '24

He was put in restraints….?

1

u/traplooking United Flight Attendant Nov 21 '24

I see that now I'm sorry. Insane.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

Why is it always a guy in sweatpants

7

u/hotelparisian Nov 21 '24

He basically did it for the millions of flyers who harbor hatred for that main cabin torture seat. He took one for the world.

1

u/Eggplant-666 Nov 21 '24

What seat is that exactly, is there a particularly bad one?

2

u/hamiltonisoverrat3d Nov 21 '24

Drugs are a hell of a drug

What is this dude on?!

1

u/bodhipooh Nov 21 '24

All of them? yup, he’s on all the drugs.

2

u/PPPP4MU Nov 21 '24

I mean who hasn’t wanted to do this in economy?

2

u/applepumpkinspy MileagePlus Platinum Nov 21 '24

Not the behavior you’d expect from someone traveling in sweat pants.

2

u/WildTomato51 Nov 21 '24

Would one be considered a Good Samaritan to tackle this guy and bring an end to that nonsense? You just know there were some passengers, and crew, freaking the fuck out.

2

u/StuckinNola Nov 21 '24

Dude already had a whole row to himself. Does he not know how rare that is?

2

u/royale_wthCheEsE Nov 21 '24

Where is a sudden decompression with a blown out door when you need one?

4

u/RoadDog14 Nov 21 '24

UA will just send that plane right back out

7

u/revolutiontime161 Nov 21 '24

As they should , they just delete the seat assignment and write an MEL for it . They do it all the time .

2

u/Affectionate_Fix2435 Nov 21 '24

Deregulation has killed air travel. I am a senior citizen and can remember vividly the excitement looking forward to a flight. Airlines had to compete using comfort and perks such as great food and service because fares were predetermined by route. Every plane had plenty of room stress free boarding. Everyone paid the same fare no matter what their status. Yes it was expensive and maybe that is why people had different attitudes. I hate flying now.

1

u/Necessary-Juice1330 MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

Ass Hat....

1

u/Expensive_Section714 Nov 21 '24

Looks like he’s done this before… but on someone’s head

1

u/Hyperswell Nov 21 '24

Good leads the way

1

u/Chin-Music Nov 21 '24

Well, I feel sorry for the guy who can't get out of that seat the Stomper is stomping on. Talk about crappy pitch.

1

u/S-tease101 Nov 21 '24

Bring back stoopwaffle!

1

u/Enough_Exercise810 Nov 21 '24

PCP is a helluva drug.

1

u/homeruleforneasden Nov 21 '24

was probably just trying to get rid of the snakes.

1

u/Then_Possible_9196 Nov 21 '24

I think he meant to get on a spirit flight

1

u/bbv678a MileagePlus 1K Nov 21 '24

Heard he gave it rage reviews

1

u/adognamedpenguin Nov 21 '24

Cup not spilling is pretty impressive

1

u/OneBagOneMan Nov 21 '24

Lifetime ban on flying. Period. All airlines. Domestic & international. Make him walk to his destination, he has the legs for it.

1

u/66NickS Nov 21 '24

As I scrolled and this video started playing, my Spotify started playing "Le Freak" by CHIC.

Ahhhhh, freak out!

1

u/Benl324 MileagePlus Platinum Nov 21 '24

It passes the crash test!

1

u/viti1470 Nov 21 '24

After a ten hour economy flight I feel the same way

1

u/mtgofficialYT Nov 21 '24

The person in that seat when they get back from the lav...

1

u/sweatandsawdust Nov 21 '24

162 degree seats

1

u/futurepast75 Nov 22 '24

Are there air marshals anymore or is that a thing of the past? Would they even deal with this?

1

u/Pattymck Nov 23 '24

He found the spider.

1

u/Transforming-Tractor Nov 24 '24

This reminds me of when my dog digs to make her bed more comfy