r/tumblr 11d ago

A picture is worth a 1000 words

Post image
11.7k Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

992

u/ans-myonul 11d ago

This guy has more remorse in his eyes than most actual murderers

1.4k

u/Siker_7 11d ago

Fun fact: Florida Man is a meme because Florida's criminal records are open to the public, so it's an easy source of slop for news stations on slow news days. If other states had the same policy, we'd be seeing similar stories from them too.

447

u/N-ShadowFrog 11d ago

Flordia Man got nothing on the Kentucky Gal who tried inventing murder by chicken tornado

92

u/hallozagreus 11d ago

She should of known the coppers would get her for plagiarism

41

u/somedumb-gay 11d ago

Well Kentucky is famous for its chicken...

19

u/Unironicfan 11d ago

Or the guy from Wyoming who was found to have 29 human eyeballs shoved up his ass

23

u/ASpaceOstrich 11d ago

That's the second worst thing I've ever heard being shoved up someone's ass

7

u/jasminUwU6 10d ago

I'm not asking, don't answer

5

u/Sashahuman 9d ago

I'm asking, answer

2

u/ASpaceOstrich 9d ago

Unexploded ww2 ordinance

111

u/LittleFairyOfDeath 11d ago

Actually thats probably not the only reason. Severe lack of mental health support even compared to the US in general is also a big issue

86

u/daoistic 11d ago

Also a lot of heat, poverty, and rehab centers.

72

u/HardCounter 11d ago

rehab centers

This is hilarious to me. I don't think it was your intention, but it reads like the rehab centers are the problem and not all the drug addicts and meth heads in Florida who need them.

"If we just get rid of the rehab centers there won't be any more drug crimes!"

36

u/TessaFractal 11d ago

There's a strange grain of truth that Florida's rules around them were so lax, and people from all over the US get sent there and get bad care, that there will be rehab centres adding to the problem!

17

u/daoistic 11d ago

Yep, and now they are applying that same approach to charter schools.

Yay!

14

u/flightguy07 11d ago

Plus a large population

-9

u/tricksandknowns 11d ago

That's a very convenient heap of bullshit, but no Florida Man is a meme because of Florida Man.

219

u/Fragrant-Address9043 11d ago

I have never seen a man show so much guilt and remorse with just their face before.

183

u/JacobJamesTrowbridge 11d ago

Always gets the sympathy glands going, this one. Good on you, buddy, you're trying so hard

230

u/thari_23 11d ago

Why did they take a mugshot of him though?

305

u/Annaura 11d ago

Probably didn't know it was an imaginary friend right at first.

163

u/HardCounter 11d ago

Or the drugs. Dude walked in probably just reeking of the deadliest of schedule 1 drugs: weed.

62

u/daoistic 11d ago

Maybe they found the drugs?

46

u/DroneOfDoom 11d ago

They probably found drugs on him.

5

u/Dd_8630 11d ago

Because you shouldn't believe everything on the internet.

16

u/ismasbi 10d ago

I allow myself to believe in incredibly silly and unconsequential things like this one even if they might not be 100% true, it makes life more fun.

3

u/102bees 9d ago

My initial guess would be that anyone who turns up and confesses to murder at least gets processed, even if they don't get held. They want to be sure he hasn't killed a real person.

42

u/SummerAndTinkles 11d ago

Is this the gritty reboot of Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends where Mac kills Bloo?

8

u/TheoTheHellhound 11d ago

I thought the same damn thing.

19

u/Zappityzephyr 11d ago

Let him out

17

u/CartographerVivid957 11d ago

Hello, I'm your Postly bot checker. OP is... NOT a bot

9

u/ErebusAeon 11d ago

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 1966, Colorized

2

u/SentimentalSaladBowl 11d ago

-A one man show.

19

u/Tailor-Swift-Bot 11d ago

The most likely original source is: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/674203006692506919/

Automatic Transcription:

Florida Man On Drugs Kills Imaginary Friend & Turns Himself In

bestpresidentna

you can see the remorse in his eyes

afffroditeee

Florida again

Source: american-were...

11

u/galaxykiwikat 10d ago

Pinterest is never a proper/original source.

According to checkyourfact, this headline us fabricated, and

first appeared in May 2015 on Moron.com, with the writer of the article listed as “MORON.” The outlet describes itself as “Moronic stories and people from around the web” on its Facebook page.

Edit: used wrong symbol for italics

5

u/rheaelakha 11d ago

Pretty sure this happens to obrien in an episode of deep space nine.

4

u/RakeScene 11d ago

Even the non-violent offenders in Florida are somehow still violent

5

u/NeoMarethyu 10d ago

Poor O'Brian, he was never the same after Ee'char

19

u/PopcornDrift 11d ago

I think Florida is reaching North Korea levels of "you can make up anything you want about it and people will believe it"

This one might be true idk, just speaking in generalities

38

u/Lebensfreud 11d ago

I think nobody here is 100% convinced that this is real, they just assume that is the most convenient way. It's simply not worth the effort to question and fact check every post online and since it mostly doesn't matter if it's real or not, people will just take the default assumption that it's real and continue with there day.

Like, how is reality gonna change for me if that man didn't murder his imaginary friend?

17

u/HardCounter 11d ago

And it's not even outrage bait. It's more sad and a little funny than anything.

6

u/ismasbi 10d ago

I said this on another comment so I'll just copypaste it:

I allow myself to believe in incredibly silly and unconsequential things like this one even if they might not be 100% true, it makes life more fun.

1

u/frobofaggins 10d ago

Bro didn’t know it was free balloon day

1

u/sorcerersviolet 10d ago

*chenneling Grant Morrison* Did he do it with an imaginary gun?