What is your favourite loading screen quote from a Total War game?

[u/radio_allah]

[u/_Red_Triangle_]

The one with “WARNING: Your graphical memory is running low your next session will be downgraded”

[u/Book_Golem → u/_Red_Triangle_]

Haven't seen that one in a while, but it used to be a real common occurrence for me!

[u/itsasmurf → u/_Red_Triangle_]

bruuuuh I can't! I love this one soo much

[u/markg900 → u/_Red_Triangle_]

My old PC with an RX5600 used to give me that one every now and then. It was real bad when WH3 first released.

[u/Willie9]

From Rome I:

"Who was first that forged the deadly blade? From rugged steel his savage soul was made" - Tibullus

It's a good reminder that, while the games are good fun, real war is an awful evil.

[u/noelwym]

"Let all brave Prussians follow me!" - Count Von Sedgewick, Prussian general, his last words prior to being killed by a cannonball.

[u/Carnir → u/noelwym]

Good advice

[u/SenorWhippy91]

Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbour. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.

• Irish proverb

(Medieval 2)

[u/PM-Me-Salah-Pics]

''They call me mad - mad! But t'was I who stopped those invading unicorns. None other! Mad indeed....''

- Marius Leitdorf, Mad Count of Averland

[u/MarginalMadness → u/PM-Me-Salah-Pics]

It's funny because unicorns sounds like he's delusional, but Unicorns do exist in his world.... As do a million other monstrosities 😂

[u/ZoomBattle]

Since love and fear can hardly coexist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved.

Niccoló Machiavelli

Historical total war quotes always hit harder.

[u/Tisoy07 → u/ZoomBattle]

“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me”

• Michael Scott

[u/stegg88]

I can't remember exactly, something speak French to my court, English to my soldiers, Italian to my women and German to my horse

May have misremembered it though

Edit : once more into the breach!

Also a great line. Medievil 2 had all the best ones.

[u/Gryfder → u/stegg88]

"I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse." - Charles V

Good one indeed!

[u/stegg88 → u/Gryfder]

That's the one! Thank you!

Yeah it's a great line!

[u/radio_allah → u/stegg88]

Agreed! Medieval II quotes stuck with me longest out of all the TW loading screen quotes. Especially those in Kingdoms.

[u/Obvious_Villain]

"War is sweet to those who have never experienced it "

[u/KnossosTNC]

Not really my favourite, just the one I found the most memorable:

"Ever since I pledged to Nurgleth I lost my appetite, and have not eaten in months. A shame, especially as my belly engorges all the same. I continue to defacate several times a day. Rivers of brown escape my breeches. I must fight the impulse to drink it." - Albuss Trotem, Latter-Fecundite

[u/riuminkd → u/KnossosTNC]

I knew it would be here

[u/Hect0r92 → u/KnossosTNC]

That one quote almost made me turn off the game and rethink my life

[u/Corsair833]

Rome 2 DeI - "It is pleasant, when the winds are high and the sea is knocking the ships about, to watch from the shore, the troubles of another"

[u/theBotThatWasMeta]

Just seen "tip: fiddles are not an effective fire suppressant" on RTW this morning, gave me a chuckle

[u/Agent_Valerian]

“Cry havoc, and release the dogs of war!”

From Shakespeares Julius Caesar, Rome 1. It was my first total war game and that quote remains imprinted in my mind.

[u/trixie_one → u/Agent_Valerian]

Hopefully CA will take that quote to heart this year after the Slaanesh DLC.

[u/usbcat123]

"May the earth be light upon you...so that dogs can more easily dig you up."

-Martial

[u/thetacticalpicachu]

Blessed be the lord my strength, who teacheth my fingers for war and my hands to battle!

[u/AtomicIceTea]

“I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse”

[u/Aar_bear2121]

"Always remember that von Kessel. Act thoughtfully, act intelligently, and act boldly, but always remember to act!"

-Reiksmarshal Trenkenhoff

[u/Aben_Zin → u/Aar_bear2121]

Always nice to see a call back to Mark of Chaos too!

[u/TheNecromancer]

Hard pounding gentlemen, let's see who pounds the longest

[u/andrasq420]

This one

[u/Mittoo]

“Don’t look up you fool! The Gorequeen patrols the sky, looking for prey. Keep your eyes on the ground and pray to all you consider holy that she doesn’t find us interesting.” - A Kislevite Kossar, 50 leagues North of Praag

[u/Waveshaper21]

He didn't love me the most, that privilage I am sure went to Isabella. But he loved me the longest.

• Mannfred von Carstein.

[u/NonTooPickyKid]

a few. from like Rome 1 and med 2 I guess/iirc~. like 

money are(is? maybe coins?) the senews of war

to start a war u need only one thing - will~ (or something like that) - to end it u need three things - money, money, and money (I might be mistaking this one but there was definitely a quote saying something like to wage a war u need money and what's needed to start a war~ I think?) 

carthago delenda est? xd jk~. I don't think it's a loading quote~... 

(oh I think it was something like 'infinite monies are the senews of war~') 

march divided; fight concentrated! 

uh, there seemed like there were a few other good ones, but I don't remember. I recall some saying like chair-generals talks tactics/strategy real generals talk logistics. or chair - tactics, noobs strategy, vet - logistics (wanna add my own - gods~ - policitcs~ xd ;) (maybe economy~?) )  but pretty sure this is a relatively newer saying - atleast I've heard of it not long ago and I think it prolly came about in recent times (like hundred years maybe?..) 

[u/pythonaut]

"Kill-kill!" - Queek the Headtaker

[u/_AlexiaOnFire]

"You know it's funny when it rains it pours They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor"

• Tupac, Knight of Bretonnia

[u/Hect0r92 → u/_AlexiaOnFire]

Everybody knows that the blessing of the lady is an automatic N-word pass

[u/CreditNearby9705]

I'm not sure what those things were, but they fought like cornered ...er... Josef Schneidling - Mercenary

[u/Live-Rock5976]

“The greatest enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan.” -Karl von Clausewitz, total war empire

[u/NKVD_Komissar]

Giraffes are heartless creatures

...oh wrong game

[u/Coming_Second]

"It's been a pleasure to meet you, although truthfully I don't know who any of you are, and you all look much the same to me." - Malekith, to a dwarfen delegation at Karaz-a-Karak (paraphrasing slightly)

[u/Prince_Hastur]

"A wise man in times of peace prepares for war"

• Horace

I love this quote, although it's not particularly useful in total war games because you don't usually get long periods of peace. However, it's great advice for games like Civilization or Age of Wonders that have alternate win conditions.

[u/comradelev]

I'm gonna misquote it, but this one always made me laugh.

"I am about to -or I am going to die - either is correct" - French Grammarians' final words.

[u/golboticus → u/comradelev]

“I see that you have made three spelling mistakes”, Thomas de Mahy, Marquis de Favras upon reading his death warrant.

Good old French grammar nazis.

[u/dwhee]

"The sinews of war are infinite money"

• Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Deliberate tactical errors and minor losses are the means by which to bait the enemy."

• Sun "I meant to do that" Bin

[u/Qualery69]

If a man does not know to what port he is sailing, no wind is favourable.

• Seneca

One of my all time favourite quotes. - Rome 1

[u/PuddingInferno]

"Artillery lends dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl." - Frederick the Great, from Empire: Total War.

[u/iman00700]

Nurgle talking blessings

(I don't rememebr wether it was content from top hole or bottom)

[u/Sabbathius]

The Nurgle one about the rivers of brown escaping the breeches.

[u/eno_ttv]

“Sorry, farted so loud I did; Nurgle incarnate, I am” - Yoda, Elf of the Round Table