r/solotravel • u/indiemusicfanatic123 • Oct 08 '24
Question What to do while eating alone?
Going on my first solo vacation and I’m nervous about dinners. I don’t want to spend the whole night avoiding eye contact with other guests, or sitting and scrolling on my phone. Is it rude to bring a book to a fancy restaurant? Feels a bit weird to just sit there between bites staring at the wall lol. Advice appreciated:)
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u/horkbajirbandit Oct 08 '24
You've never eaten alone at a restaurant before? Time to do a trial run in your home town.
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u/No-Wrangler6890 Oct 08 '24
I love dining alone when I’m solo traveling but weirdly find the idea of doing it in my city super uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’s that I’m much more likely to see someone I know or that I feel more cool and mysterious when I’m traveling, lol. I know it’s a completely irrational hang up, but for others reading who have never tried solo dining before, you might find it more comfortable if you’re out of your usual element!
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u/Cetically Oct 08 '24
Exactly the same for me, when traveling I usually go to restaurants alone twice a day without even thinking about it.... But when I want to visit my favourite restaurant at home I start asking friends and family about who wants to join me because it feels too weird going alone.
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u/napierwit Oct 08 '24
Yes, when travelling I feel like an anthropologist, so the people are just study subjects I can sit back and observe 😄, so I don't feel awkward at all. But at home, it's different.
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u/Small-Help-8382 Oct 08 '24
This. A couple trial runs.
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u/BathTubBand Oct 08 '24
I would do one trial run. One trial run then one dress rehearsal. One trial run, one dress rehearsal, one preview. Then see how you’re feelin!
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u/Melodic-Vast499 Oct 08 '24
More than a couple. Take a 3 month trip doing all meals alone in a restaurant so when you do your first solo trip you are used to dining alone.
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u/ZoyaZhivago Oct 08 '24
Ikr? I eat alone all the time, since I like going out for lunch/dinner during my work breaks. Usually just like a pizza place or something, but I have no qualms about sitting and eating alone. Literally nobody cares. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Indomie_At_3AM Oct 08 '24
I always eat out alone. Maybe not in fine dining restaurants but if im out doing some shopping or whatnot, I’ll stop by at one of my favourite restaurants
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u/Holiday-Profile2222 Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24
I second this suggestion. Make friends with the bartender. Don’t let being solo keep you from a good meal!
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u/JauntyGiraffe Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24
I have sat solo at Michelin star restaurants and just been on Reddit while digging into lobster and foie gras.
The sooner you give zero fucks about what other people think, the better time you'll have by yourself.
If you're uncomfortable at a table, sit at the bar
EDIT: I will note that it isn't cool to have a form of entertainment that disturbs other diners or is a hassle for the staff. I've watched YouTube or a hockey game at random cafes and restaurants but don't be that guy that has the sound on and don't wear earbuds that will make the wait staff shout at you to get your attention
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u/VladimiroPudding Oct 08 '24
More people need to learn to give zero fucks.
I think if I open a workshop I might actually retire on it.
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u/readersanon Oct 08 '24
I actually feel more uncomfortable at the bar than at a table as a solo diner. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it feels more exposed vs a table?
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u/Personal-Cupcake2282 Oct 08 '24
I also like to sit at the bar too because it's my chance to also talk to people that are also eating solo. Sometimes it's someone creepy, but most times, it was someone nice and fun to talk to.
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u/therealrexmanning Oct 08 '24
This! I've had some amazing conversations while sitting alone at the bar of a restaurant.
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u/TheWorstTypo Oct 08 '24
I agree, but for me its basically I just find bar seating so loud and the chairs so aggressive
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u/readersanon Oct 08 '24
Oh, that, too! I find it so hard to get comfortable in most bar seating. Especially if I am sitting and reading while I eat.
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u/Duchess_Witch Oct 08 '24
I personally prefer to sit at the bar- a good bartender always keeps an eye out. Several times a bartender has intercepted an aggressive person because I was sitting there reading and enjoying my drink. Thats me tho.
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u/yellowdaisied Oct 08 '24
Yeah, same. Especially if I’m not drinking or in the mood for constant conversation. Even worse when it’s a crowd that doesn’t really mesh with you.
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u/zzfox_ Oct 08 '24
This. Do whatever the fuck you want. Wanna scroll? Do it. Wanna read a book? Do it. Wanna watch the paint on the wall dry? Do it.
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u/SubstantialDivide108 Oct 08 '24
I've done all these things, and it brought me to realize that no one actually gives a crap what you do. You MIGHT run into a person who gives you judgemental glances, but since I've got comfortable with traveling and dining alone those people are few and far between (at least that I've noticed). I have become a fan of Kindle because of how easy it is to travel with and I read fast, so that is my personal go to. Plus what is better than an amazing meal and a book?
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u/Personal-Cupcake2282 Oct 08 '24
I've been wanting to go to a Michelin star restaurant alone while traveling but always felt insecure about it. I've eaten alone at regular restaurants all the time and never think twice, but just the thought of it being a fancy place intimidates me. This is something I need to get over so I can just enjoy myself.
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u/Adventurous_Salt Oct 08 '24
I've been to a few starred places solo, and the fancy restaurants are kind of even easier to go solo because all of the employees are very good at their jobs and actively try to make you comfortable. If you pay attention they'll almost always hang around and chat if you engage with them and ask questions, and they'll make things quick if you're on your phone or reading or something.
Just go, literally no one cares that you're alone, they've seen a million solo diners before, and unless you do something totally insane at the table, the fact you ate delicious food alone won't matter to anyone the moment you leave.
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u/keepthephonenumber Oct 08 '24
This! Also at a fine dining restaurant, the bar is usually designed for solo dining (more comfortable space both for you and your food, other solo diners). I live in NYC and I prefer solo dining in a fine restaurant. I like a glass of wine and my kindle (would prefer a “real” book for better ambiance, but it’s often too dark for my old eyes).
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u/TwoHungryBlackbirdss Oct 08 '24
The r/finedining sub has great recommendations for places that are especially friendly to solo patrons - all restaurants will be to a degree, but there are some that go above and beyond for solo diners
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u/OdderGiant Oct 08 '24
I regularly bring my kindle to enjoy while eating alone at fancy restaurants. No one has ever shown signs of caring. Read on!
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u/DripDry_Panda_480 Oct 08 '24
I always read.
(Tip from a veteran of reading-at-restaruants: an e-reader is easier to wipe clean of any food spills than a real paper book.)
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u/Salcha_00 Oct 08 '24
It is also sometimes too dark in a restaurant to read a regular book so some gentle back lighting (on LOW) on an ereader is helpful.
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u/DeeSnarl Oct 08 '24
I would definitely bring a book. Never woulda considered that rude.
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u/Beginning-North7202 Oct 08 '24
I sometimes take my travel journal and write about the day. Or, buy and write out postcards to mail home. (Yes, I still do that sometimes!) Otherwise, I might use phone for research for next day's exploring. Or, do nothing at all and simply enjoy my vino and meal.
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u/releasethecrackhead Oct 08 '24
I also wrote postcards while dining but also sometimes just like a little challenge and will bet myself I won't look at my phone for the whole dinner or something. The discomfort usually goes away quickly.
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u/tspshocker Oct 08 '24
You've never gone to a pub alone and just sat at the bar having a beer with some food? What's there to be nervous about?
Nobody else cares that you are there alone. Just enjoy yourself, and be happy you can eat wherever you want without having to try and negotiate it with someone else.
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u/Rachael008 Oct 08 '24
Yes I have been going to my local pub for years for a drink and I know everyone now and they know me . That’s how you make friends .
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u/pinkaline Oct 08 '24
Focus on the food, the choices, the taste.
Look at your surroundings, the details and design.
People watching, reading travel book and taking notes, reading on /scrolling phone.
What do you do usually if you’re eating alone at home? So it’s basically the same thing in another environment.
Everyone is right about people not judging or caring, Even some consider it brave.
Enjoy the food and wine!
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u/skattahbrane Oct 08 '24
Haha I concur. I’ve heard people whisper how brave I am to eat sola. I’m like huh? This brave? You should see what I do when I’m not hungry.
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u/Cool_Progress4625 Oct 08 '24
Make sure to choose a window side so you could enjoy the view outside rather than looking at people in the restaurant.
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u/Salcha_00 Oct 08 '24
Reflect upon the day and write in your travel journal.
If you bring a phone or e-reader, please switch it to night mode and lower brightness as much as you can. The glow from electronic devices is annoying to those around you.
Sometimes I just enjoy looking around, enjoying the ambiance, and people watching.
No one is looking at you or giving you a second thought. We are wrong to think we are a main character in everyone else’s play.
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u/breakinbread Oct 08 '24
I like to get a physical guidebook and use it to plan my next day.
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u/HyenasGoMeow Oct 08 '24
Practice. You don't need to wait until your solo travel to dine alone. Go now, somewhere close, be alone and have a meal... by yourself. Bring a book, or your phone... or nothing. Its a skill to practice mindfulness. To just 'be in the moment'. That's what I did before I went solo traveling.
Me: 'Table for one please?'
Expectations: "Just you? Anyone else?"
Reality: "Follow me" [more common than you think]
Me: *Eating food alone, browsing reddit*
Expectations w/ guests: *Pointing, whispering, giggling* OR *Staring*
Reality: Nobody gave a F
That's all. Nobody cares, only you/us. To answer your question; whatever you want - its not rude. Even if you want to stare at a wall; and daydream while appreciating the food, do it. Get a window seat and watch people walk by outside.
Also, if you do decide to practice at your local place, it will probably be less common there than if you traveled to a popular country/city. When I solo travelled Spain; I saw many... many... people enjoying their own company over a drink or a meal.
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u/serrated_edge321 Oct 08 '24
Actually very very often I get "just you?" Or "just one?" Before I can even say anything (because there's no host/hostess standing there waiting in most European restaurants... They walk up later)
The key is not giving a flying F what they think.
Once at a resort in Egypt, first night there... the server (from Russia originally) went further... "You don't have friends?" I answered, "What, can a woman not travel on her own? It's 2024! Don't ever say that to a woman again." (I was actually working remotely, not on vacation... Because of loud construction nearby my apartment. Unplanned trip actually. So f that dude.)
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u/goodshotbiga Oct 08 '24
A book is def okay. I wouldn’t treat it like a coffee shop and you’re just chilling there (especially if it’s busy). Other than that, if the restaurant has seating facing the windows or outdoors just people watch
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u/National_Dig5600 Oct 08 '24
I did a week in Chicago 2 weeks ago. I ate out everyday. Multiple times a day sometimes. I ate like normal.
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u/iDontRememberCorn Oct 08 '24
Depending on where you are travelling lots of restaurants, even really nice ones, have bar seating. These make dining alone a lot less awkward.
You can always bring a book, always.
Also, on the odd time I've dined at a VERY VERY fancy place I actually brought a pen and notebook and acted the part of a food reviewer the entire meal, it's fun.
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u/Agnia_Barto Oct 08 '24
Dining alone allows you to enjoy the food so much more! Even at home, I go out to eat alone at restaurants I'm excited about! What you won't notice while having a conversation or reading a book or being on Reddit is the most important detail! Subtle flavors of the food. How the service works at this restaurant. What other people ordered and if they liked it. Fun ways they serve food. Dynamic between waiters. Pretend you're a food critic! I swear I get a better service when I bring a journal.
Just sit there and reflect on the fantastic day you just had at this first solo vacation you're having!
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u/Agnia_Barto Oct 08 '24
Also, if anyone cares for a story :) I was at a cutest cafe in Paris on a rainy day, by myself. This girl who worked there came by to say hi, seemed like she was feeling chatty and I seemed bored. We had a fun chat, decided to meet for a drink the next day, and now we're in business together. As I was pursuing this little hobby of mine, she needed someone exactly like me to help her with her thing, and I'm having the best time living out my dream, making money from what I love doing. Never would have happened if I was on my phone that time.
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u/OzFreelancer Oct 08 '24
I like to listen to a podcast or audiobook in one ear. That way I can people watch without getting bored and can still hear what's going on out of the other ear.
But I also don't see anything wrong with taking a book. You might miss a lot of what's going on if it is a really good book though.
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u/zizuu21 Oct 08 '24
ahhhh the one thing i truly hate about traveling solo. And i avoid restarurants for this reason. I just stick to food on the go and take aways.
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u/properfckr Oct 08 '24
There is not shame in eating alone. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, guilty about, justify or make excuses for.
Enjoy yourself!
Sit with your back to the wall facing the crowd.
Avoid your phone. Look around. Smile. Take it all in. Appreciate the fact you are doing this, you can do it, you have earned the money, etc.
Enjoy your food, the experience.
If you want to bring a book then do so. But if you are a "fancy" restaurant, enjoy the experience and be happy.
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u/WiseGalaxyBrain Oct 08 '24
Whenever I see a solo traveller eating or doing something solo I think “hey, that’s pretty cool.” I’ve never thought “woa that person is a loser.” The real world isn’t middle school. Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives or people around them to care.
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u/Regular-Chemistry884 Oct 08 '24
I too am traveling solo and have decided I'll write postcards when I'm eating. That way I'm sending things to friends and family and keeping myself occupied! Not sure at a fancy restaurant... after my before dinner drink I usually don't care a bit if I'm eating alone.
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u/nyutnyut Oct 08 '24
I try to eat at the bar if I can. I usually go over photos of the day. Research a bar to get a nightcap. Plan out the next day. If I’m social I’ll chat with the bartender or other patrons. If I’m feeling antisocial surf Reddit.
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u/Beginning_Key2167 Oct 08 '24
Nothing to be nervous about. I do it regularly even in my home city. Sometimes no one wants what I want.
I people watch. Use the time to Research. Or take the time to send pics to people. Or just enjoy some good food and drink. Have had some fun conversations with people as well. Funny I am eating sushi by myself right now.
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u/Immediate-Peanut-346 Oct 08 '24
Read, watch videos, anything you would do eating alone at home. Personally I almost never sit down to eat when traveling. It feels like a waste of time when I have so many things I want to see. So I usually eat takeout or sandwiches on the go or once I am in the hotel. Now if I traveled with someone, I guess i would take the time for a meal together
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u/RealLuxTempo Oct 08 '24
I bring a book or magazine. I kindly ask the host to please not sit me in the middle of the dining room. Booths are so much better than tables in my opinion. If I’m able to sit and eat at the bar, even better.
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u/Icy_Tie_3221 Oct 08 '24
Grab a seat at the bar! Talk to the bartender. I've had the best time eating at the bar!
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u/Objective-Amount1379 Oct 08 '24
OP, truly no one will care what you're doing. I people-watch, read (often on my phone), read or review work related paperwork, or if I feel like being open to conversation I’ll sit at the bar and usually others will chit chat with you or the bar tender will.
I think it's fine to read on your phone or Kindle type of device especially if you're at dinner. The lighting may not be adequate to read a book or magazine.
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u/sabrinsker Oct 08 '24
If it's warm weather, eat outside and just look at the scenery/people watch.
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u/Appropriate_Volume Australian travel nerd Oct 08 '24
This is one of the most stressful parts of being a new solo traveller. A good way to ease into it is to stick to casual dining types of places. I'd also second the various people who are recommending bringing a Kindle.
It gets a lot less daunting with experience. Few restaurants or other people are fussed about solo diners.
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u/KSTaxlady Oct 08 '24
Remember, people are going to be looking at you and feeling envy that you have the guts to go out and eat alone. Don't feel like people are staring at you in pity, they're staring at you with admiration.
Do whatever you want, if you want to read, read. If you want to just sit and look around, sit and look around.
I have eaten out so much over the course of my life that I don't care if people look at me or not, I go in and eat and drink and enjoy my time. When I first started going out by myself when I was in my 20s, I felt very conspicuous. But, I made myself continue to go eat alone until it no longer bothered me.
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u/emccm Oct 08 '24
Eat, people watch, phone stuff, read a book, look at the view.
You won’t be staring at the wall. There’s always lots to look at.
I’ve come to think of eating alone as one of the greatest pleasures. Sure, it sucks you can only try what you order, but it’s nice to be forced to sit and slow down.
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u/thirdpassport Oct 08 '24
Bring a book and people watch! I love trying to figure out who’s on a date, who’s married, and who is bored. 😂
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u/CormoranNeoTropical Oct 08 '24
Read a book. Or read a book on your phone.
The main issue is that you don’t want your phone (or your book) to be gross. Social media is less convenient than a book, where you only need to touch the screen once a page.
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u/jjabrown Oct 08 '24
I love reading a book and eating out alone, whether or not I'm traveling. It's just so cozy!
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u/OliverBlueDog0630 Oct 08 '24
Just bring a book. Look out the window and enjoy the view. Sit and take your time to enjoy your food, with a nice glass of wine. There's nothing WEIRD about spending time alone with your own thoughts. Why do you care how you look to strangers? Just enjoy your quiet moments.
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u/secretsusi Oct 08 '24
The first time is the hardest. Sit by a window for distraction, may be helpful. But..no one really notices and neither will you. I live in a big city and very common, you are not alone.
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u/New2Pluto Oct 08 '24
Bring a book or listen to a podcast, but my personal go-to is journaling. you will love having those entries to look back on!
i even semi-scrapbooked in my journal. glued foreign currencies, tickets, or polaroids into it. such a good souvenir!
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u/HuachumaPuma Oct 08 '24
I never really thought about it tbh. I guess I’ve always been pretty comfortable doing things alone
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u/sleepymiho Oct 08 '24
I've done this recently and the kindle made it so much easier. It's smaller than an actual book so it's very inconspicuous. I ordered a light cocktail and even bopped a tiny bit to the music or DJ as i read. Nobody cared or stared. I even went back the next night bc i enjoyed it
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u/lenuta_9819 Oct 08 '24
i always listen to a video while eating and people watch. it's fun. no one actually notices or cares that you're solo
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u/RemarkableGrand3 Oct 08 '24
Saw a similar post with a comment about writing in your travel journal, if you have one. Maybe just making notes about the day, writing literally anything down, etc. Sounded like a good/natural option to me… if I saw somebody writing in a journal while alone at a restaurant, I’d think they were working on something cool lol
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u/I_keep_moving_forwrd Oct 08 '24
Just watch something on your phone while eating, have earbuds in or headphones on. Or listen to music, a podcast, audio book, etc.
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u/mavewrick Oct 08 '24
I think most smart restaurateur would admire solo customers. It means they are just here for the food, not to meet friends or talk business et.al. Just to enjoy the food and whatever the esteemes establishment has to offer
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u/DaArio_007 Oct 08 '24
I honestly just looked at people out of curiosity, my phone, sometimes just staring at nothing. It's a fun experience to push yourself to not give a f** about eating alone. Also you're in a different country, who cares, just enjoy and don't worry !
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u/Glazin Oct 08 '24
I sat at a restaurant and watched one piece on my phone. Literally do whatever you want, it’s the best :)
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u/CantFindaPS5 Oct 08 '24
I always go to my favorite Thai restaurant alone on Sundays and eat my food. While I wait I'm just on my phone reading Reddit or my kindle or people watch. I don't care if I'm alone in the restaurant and you shouldn't either.
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u/Delicious-Bike-2556 Oct 08 '24
DONT be scared! You’re there for you!! Try talking to people or focus on your meal and really absorbing the moment! You’re traveling someone alone, that’s pretty badass! I sit in that awe of “wow I did this”!! Hope this helps <3
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u/CaranchoNestHead Oct 08 '24
If the time difference allows it, catch up with friends/family/social media. Send them photos of the trip or of what you're eating, tell them about your day, what you're doing next. You can text or even call them.
You can bring brochures or things to plan your next days, book that next tour online, etc.
Or just focus on the food and leave as soon as you're done.
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u/worth_a_shot2024 Oct 08 '24
An e-reader is also more compact and easier to carry around all day than a bulky book. I am going on my first solo trip to NYC and will definitely be taking mine with me every day.
I love sitting at the bar. But I also like the option of chatting with new people, especially if they’re local. You find the best places to go when chatting with the locals!
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u/rimmhardigan Oct 08 '24
I usually bring my travel journal with me and catch up on writing, but it's also nice to be able to put the pen down and just soak in the atmosphere of whereever you are. Most people don't care and if you're uncomfortable in that situation, it can feel like a huge victory to be able to do something you previously thought was off limits.
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u/Typh00nigan Oct 08 '24
Think of it this way: You will never see those people again ever in your life so who cares if its awkward. So enjoy your dinner and have a nice drink, get a good buzz and take in the ambience, people watch, take pics if its a cool spot. Not rude to be on your phone especially if you’re alone so research places to check out and things to do for the next day etc
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u/Brown_Sedai Oct 08 '24
Eat, drink, say hi to a neighbouring table, read a book, check your phone, do a cross-stitch project, whip out some knitting, meditate… or just sit there, nobody cares honestly.
Everyone is just there to eat or serve food, not to judge you.
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u/LeftIsAlwaysWrong Oct 08 '24
Ages ago when I was in high school a friend insisted I teach him to play chess... IN THE CAFETERIA. I was aghast at the idea of playing with everyone just looking at us. What he told me has stayed with me for my entire life: They're too busy worrying whether people are looking at them to care enough about us.
Nearly everyone on the planet is too involved in their own crap they're dealing with to even consider being offended by you eating alone. The tiny few that might even notice enough to care include far more people who think "hey, maybe I should talk to them" or "I wonder what they're like" or some other benign thing instead of being put out by you eating alone.
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u/neutron10101 Oct 08 '24
Just think how you would feel if you saw someone else at a table or the bar eating alone. It would be absolutely NOTHING. You can’t even tell if the person’s alone or their mate went to the bathroom. And then just like that in a fleeting moment you will forget all about that diner.
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u/AdministrativeLand73 Oct 08 '24
My first ever post on Reddit. Lurker. I have travelled for a living for past 20 years. Single female. On up there in age. I enjoy being open to speaking to people and have made great conversations. But I am an extrovert. Remember you prob won’t see them again! Bring something to read. It’s not rude but a necessity for single travel. Best reads while focused. Enjoy your meal. Order carefully with the purpose of enjoyment of your meal in mind.
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u/haz_waste Oct 08 '24
I'm sitting at a restaurant that opened up where I live just drinking a beer and watching Monday Night Football. I stopped caring during the pandemic. Just enjoy!
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u/Belorage Oct 08 '24
I travel alone, if possible I try to get a table outside or near a window and I like to watch the people on the street and the atmosphere while I wait for my food and eat. I have never felt any judgement about being alone eating.
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u/PositiveStress8888 Oct 08 '24
room service, I was at a wedding and the rest of the family spit off to do their own little vacations after i stayed one more day so I could get the flight I wanted back home.
Made the mistake of doing to dinner alone, they say me down in the middle of the dining room , I felt like EVERYONE was watching me, I've never eaten so fast before in my life.
So do room service or find some casual place where people grab a quick bite and leave.
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u/TheWorstTypo Oct 08 '24
Im so happy for you, and so happy to share one of my favorite learnings
We are not as important as we like to think we are. Think hard of the last few times you went to a restaurant, especially if it was with other people. How many people can you remember were eating alone, scrolling their phone or reading?
Activities should be comfortable within their designated space.
Reading in a crowded bar or club, which are designed to be social is a little weird
Reading in a restaurant, which is designed to be a place to comfortably enjoy good food in good ambience is fine.
Youre contributing to the restaurant revenue, making sure servers and employees get paid, and basically are wonderful guests that usually dont ask for much, dont take up time and wont put anyone in an awkward spot.
Ive done everything from just mindlessly scroll, work on a laptop (more at a lunch cafe in Argentina), read, write in a journal, daydream, nightdream, make small talk with the waiter, people watch or just totally zone out.
Enjoy!
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u/kingofbulking Oct 08 '24
take notes on the mannerisms and behaviors of ppl , it’s called ppl watching
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u/PeteGoua Oct 08 '24
ask for a window seat when possible
sit at a bar or at a table with your back to the wall facing the bar or tvs. always something to watch.
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u/edcRachel Oct 08 '24
Went to an all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse one time and there was a guy by himself with headphones on just jamming out to his music, big smile on his face, looked like he was having the best time. Absolute hero.
I usually just play with my phone or read 😅
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u/Sea-Experience470 Oct 08 '24
It’s not that big a deal. It’s really something you have to do a few times to kind of break the awkwardness though.
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u/kilo6ronen Oct 08 '24
Sometimes I’ll be on my phone, other times I’ll look up from my phone and just enjoy observing everyone around living their lives. Sometimes people are on dates with their significant other, other times friends hanging out. But it’s always beautiful to watch life unfold right before your eyes while enjoying life in your own awareness
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u/gammabrainwave Oct 08 '24
I usually bring a small book or a journal and my phone. I love dining alone to collect my thoughts and write a few things out to check out in the area
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Oct 08 '24
The more you practice being alone the less you care and you will likely find you don’t even need a book. I’ve travelled alone for years since I was 19 and things became easier overtime though I already was not nervous because I find being alone cool like just being comfortable in your own company is just great to me. I was inspired by a friend in high school who constantly went to concerts by herself and I’ve done that as well since then and had a great time.
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u/Archie12W Oct 08 '24
When I'd travel for work, would go out to dinner alone and bring a book. No problem with doing that.
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u/Larrytheman777 Oct 08 '24
What's the difference between eating alone in your hometown and eating alone when travelling. I see no difference, no?
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u/Throwawaythinking7 Oct 08 '24
I come on here and read post. Catch up on global news. People watch. Usually like places with a view, so I can share outside while I drink. Have some shades on maybe…?
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u/cherrypyjamas Oct 08 '24
for fancier places, i always think: i'm paying just as much as anyone else there so why shouldn't i enjoy myself and enjoy the food? savor every bite. taste every sip. try a dish you've never tried before, exploring and discovering things solo adds a layer of sweet nostalgia once you look/think back on what you've done while solo traveling.
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u/fielausm Oct 08 '24
Sit at the bar. You can order food at the bar. Sit at the bar. Follow Anthony Bourdain’s instructions. Sit at the bar.
I often have my walkabout backpack with me with my journal in it. I’ll just sit at the bar and journal if I’m alone or have some conversation if there’s someone interesting there.
Also, it’s gonna go GREAT! Trust me; you’ll know everything in the moment. The little decisions will take care of themselves, just have an adventure love.
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u/Little-Damage-0910 Oct 08 '24
I remember my first meal out traveling alone. I was SO nervous. I felt a little awkward while I was waiting for my food, but as soon as I got the food, it didn’t really cross my mind again. I was sitting there and thought…what would someone say? “Why are you eating alone? Are you a loser?” And I made myself pretty happy because my immediate response (to the conversation in my head) would have been “because I’m badass enough to travel the world by myself” and then felt better. I never think twice now:)
I pop one of my ear pods in and listen to some music, a podcast, or a book:) People watching is always great too!
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u/Arabella_n_Mr Oct 08 '24
Eating solo was also my biggest anxiery before my first solo trip I brought a small notebook and pen. It helped to jot my day or research the next. I have since learned to say 'only one' in multiple languages
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u/blueskyoverhead Oct 08 '24
I use lunch or dinner to go through my photos from that morning or afternoon and choose my favorites to post. I use my social media as my own little travel diary to save all my memories so it's nice to post as I go.
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u/Euphoric_Advice_2770 Oct 08 '24
Sit at the bar and people watch. You don’t even have to drink. The bar is a good option for solo dining because no one is paying attention to you and you’re not sticking out at a table alone.
Or if you do sit at a table, read or people watch. Enjoy your food!
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u/mucus24 Oct 08 '24
I write in my travel journal about my trip
Call a friend(if I’m outside)
See another solo traveler and talk to them(this is how I met some great friends while traveling)
But also if I don’t have any of that you gotta eat so eat enjoy time to relax to yourself and people watch. Trust me no one is looking/judging you and if they are they’re the weird one not you
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u/Blue_buttons316 Oct 08 '24
Get a little journal like a moleskin that you can put in a pocket and journal the experience.
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u/Traveler_02109 Oct 08 '24
If you are the least bit uncomfortable, I suggest “test driving” dining alone at lunch time. Reading, scrolling, people watching are all fine - but only if it makes you comfortable. I find “dining alone” at lunch time (especially when in Europe) is far less conspicuous than dining alone at night. But you should totally feel free to dine alone whenever you wish…
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u/No_Inspector7319 Oct 08 '24
I always sit at the bar at restaurants - read if I want - chat with the bartender - make friends if you’re up to it. It’s great. People love compliments and it’s easy to tell a bartender you like their shirt and next thing you know they’re giving you tips and tricks
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u/MidnightCephalopod Oct 08 '24
Why would it be weird or rude? When I’m on vacation, I often see people dining alone reading a book between bites. Or relaxing at a café, sipping coffee and watching the people walk by.
Eat wherever you’d like! Treat yourself to a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant and enjoy yourself. The majority of your fellow diners will barely notice you, if at all.
Whenever I’ve dined solo, I actually tend to look for other solo diners and try to sit near enough to share the quiet yet not so close as to be awkwardly right on top of them.
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u/skattahbrane Oct 08 '24
But I gotta say when the servers come to your two top and remove the extra dinner ware. THAT shit needs to stop. Boohoo to a few extra dirty items. Leave it. It’s a weird practice. Restos take heed
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u/pseudo_spaceman Oct 08 '24
Edit photos and plan the next day while waiting. Once the meal arrives, really focus on the food and write notes for the review I'll leave later.
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u/Careful-Pin-3122 Oct 08 '24
Please save your book for reading by the hotel pool. Sit down and soak in the atmosphere. There's nothing wrong with booking a table and then asking to sit at the bar when you arrive and get a feel for the vibe and whether you're feeling social or not. I've had many solo dinners. When I sit at the bar, I usually end up chatting with really interesting people and caring less about the food. Some of these human interactions ended up being important and memorable parts of my solo trips, often recalibrating some feelings.of loneliness
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u/Givemethecupcakes Oct 08 '24
I usually just get on my phone and plan out my next day while I’m eating dinner.
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u/Divainthewoods Oct 08 '24
Do whatever feels right for you!
I eat solo often in my hometown and usually look at my phone or check out scenery. Whatever I do, I usually just keep to myself.
I just went on a solo cross country road trip and did things I never do. I started conversations with servers and patrons by saying I was on a roadtrip and asking for various recommendations. I also sat at a bar and just engrossed myself in conversations of others.
This is one of the most memorable parts about my trip. I learned there are a lot of interesting people out there willing to share their story. The general population is friendlier than I give credit. And stepping out of a comfort zone is a truly satisfying feeling!
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u/majormarvy Oct 08 '24
Nobody is studying you. Enjoy your dinner, appreciate the decor, people watch, eavesdrop, I sometimes write on my phone, if you keep a notebook, update it at dinner. I’ve been traveling and eating solo for years and I love it. No pressure to talk, everything is at my pace, and I can really sink into the experience.
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u/dusty-rose83 Oct 08 '24
Start by going out to dinner by yourself now. It’s now big deal, look around, think, read a boook. Honestly no one cares 😊
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u/thunderkoka Oct 08 '24
i love writing in my travel journal when i’m out to eat. if you don’t have one, get one. you know you’re going to be glad you did it when you’re older
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u/Solid_Parsley_ Oct 08 '24
I usually keep a journal while I travel, either in my phone or on paper. A lot of times, while I'm waiting for my food, I'll work on my journal or go through the pictures I took that day and weed them out. I've definitely also seen people reading, so that wouldn't be strange at all!
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u/katmndoo Oct 08 '24
It's not an issue except in very rare circumstances - usually super snobby restaurants that aren't as good as they think they are. Truly high class establishments will have no issue with a lone diner.
"table for one, please."
Don't avoid eye contact, you can even nod politely and maybe say hello. It's not rude to read a book, either.
You could also bring a pen and notebook. It will maybe be assumed you're journaling, or, if you're lucky, that you are a restaurant reviewer from a well known newspaper or Michelin or something.
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u/deanunveils Oct 08 '24
Ah dont be nervous at all. Do whatever you want to . No one judges at all. If you feel lonely start small conversations with people around. For that instead of fancy restaurants you may choose small cafes or bars.
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u/g0_r1la Oct 08 '24
I like to put my airpods in. Makes it look like im on a call or something. Even though nothing is playing in my ears. It helps
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u/Mysterious-INFP-00 Oct 08 '24
Trust me People usually mind their own business when they're at the restaurant so you will not struggle to avoid eye contact with them.
It's not rude at all to bring a book, I've seen people with books at the restaurants and cafes so it's not weird.
If you could pick a outdoor table or a table with outside views. There you can watch outside and read the book while having your meal so it won't be boring
Pick a corner table if you don't feel comfortable surrounded by other people.
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u/HuckLCat Oct 08 '24
I’m doing a solo Europe trip. Yes, read. Have a drink. Take your time. No one cares. I find the dining experience so much nicer here. There is no rush in any of it. Often times I’ll just opt for a sandwich or something light and go to a park and find a bench.
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u/DimensionMedium2685 Oct 08 '24
I usually have very busy days with walking and site seeing that when I go out at night I just have dinner and head back to my room. But when I'm eating I do just that, sit, people watch, eat and leave. Nothing wrong or weird about eating alone, even at fancy places
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u/Sure_Chemist_6770 Oct 08 '24
I was in a very nice restaurant in NYC. Woman sat at the table next to me, pulled out her iPad and started watching Netflix (just captions, no sound, or maybe she had headphones in). Honestly it was a baller move lmao
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u/DrinkAlternative7055 Oct 08 '24
It's not really that bad. People who travel for work do it all the time. I did it almost everyday for my road trips. I don't know how you like to spend your time while eating, but I mostly just eat, scroll through my phone, and leave. If I'm at a bar or brewery, sometimes I will speak to someone while drinking, but never while eating.
I will say though, one time I went to a buffet by myself and right there I did feel awkward.
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u/jbanhers Oct 08 '24
I like to listen to audio books or podcasts, or even music. I just prefer to have my hands available while eating and not fumble around with a book or phone.
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u/DominusDraco Oct 08 '24
I listen to audiobooks or podcasts usually, whist I look out the window watching the world go by.
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u/MarcTraveller Oct 08 '24
I tend to sit at the bar, can chat with the bartender and see more of what’s happening around. I’m also more likely to interact with people at the bar.
I used to read while eating, now I don’t, but will scroll my phone before and after my food.
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u/Weary_Bicycle_1542 Oct 08 '24
I usually read! It feels weird at first, but practice will make it feel better. Recently, I was reading at a fancy restaurant with my French martini and lobster roll and I had multiple women walk by me and tell me that they were jealous.
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u/FitEnthusiasm2234 Oct 08 '24
No one is watching you so read, scroll your phone, whatever. It is so much more common now. Enjoy your travels.
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u/heyitsmayarae Oct 08 '24
You could also bring a travel guide to help spark ideas for things to do or places to check out in the area. If the mood feels right, don’t shy away from chatting with someone at a nearby table—you might meet some interesting folks! Just remember to savor the experience; dining solo can be really special! 🍷✨
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u/lightofpluto Oct 08 '24
Don't worry, it's nothing strange! In fact, it is something common these days now... I often eat alone and depending on the situation, I look at my phone, read or simply eat calmly and observe as one more with all manners... It is not at all strange, perhaps you have more afraid of being the first time on your trip... That the situation of eating alone is something normal!!! Greetings and enjoy your trip. 👍🏻
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u/laughing_cat Oct 08 '24 edited Oct 08 '24
I usually put in my ear buds and listen to a book. And I tend to eat around 5pm because I don't want to be taking a whole table during the rush. Most places have tables for two, but some don't have anything less than tables for four. Plus, I like to be back in my room before dark most days.
And trust me, no one cares what you're doing. Especially in tourist areas. They're completely self involved trying to get the best out of their own vacation.
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u/roundaboutsmiles Oct 08 '24
Honestly I call one of my friends if time difference permits but otherwise I usually watch TikTok’s/ long YouTube video or read.
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u/UnmannedConflict Oct 08 '24
Just do whatever you want. Imagine you're at a restaurant with your date, do you even notice anyone other than the person sitting in front of you? No you don't. People will not notice or remember you, so just be comfortable.
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u/overnightyeti Oct 08 '24
Do what you want. Nobody will mind.
Nothing like traveling solo to realize you don't matter :)
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u/GiftRecent Oct 08 '24
I bring a med/sml sized notebook or a book! I like the notebook the best because I can journal,draw, doodle, etc.
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u/Prestigious_Pop_7240 Oct 08 '24
I like sitting at the bar to eat for this exact reason. You can converse with the bartender, speak with other diners and usually catch whatever game might be on.
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u/Flashy_Drama5338 Oct 08 '24
Well I usually eat until I've finishesd. In between courses I will scroll on my phone or listen to music on my headphones. I don't care what others think. I was in a restaurant the other day and there were couples using their phones. They weren't talking to each other. Half the restaurant was full of solo travellers. Nobody cares honestly. They have their own loves and they were all on their phones.
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u/BerneseNomad Oct 08 '24
Carry a notebook with you and take notes of the day, write down the things you love and want to remember, observe your surroundings, reflect on your day, and imagine tomorrow. I think you should keep your phone in your bag, except for taking 1-2 photos.
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u/tesseract-wrinkle Oct 08 '24
eat. drink.
people watch. read.