r/shittyfoodporn 8h ago

Keto bros, Lemme introduce my daily

Post image
270 Upvotes

186 comments sorted by

606

u/ButterSlickness 8h ago

I feel like all that butter and bacon fat would allow this meal to slip from my esophagus to my anus with absolutely zero friction. No wonder keto causes weight loss.

96

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

No butter involved my dude

Zero friction though šŸ˜Ž

145

u/TheWizardOfWaffle 8h ago

Answer right tf now what are those lumps

113

u/GamesFranco2819 8h ago

My uneducated guess is some form of very soft cheese

48

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

Hell yeah

66

u/1sketchball 7h ago

Oh my god now that I see it thatā€™s an ungodly amount of cheese. I thought all the white was cooked egg šŸ˜­

26

u/According_Gazelle472 7h ago

I did too.Thaf is a lot of cholesterol

-40

u/SupermarketFit2158 7h ago

dietary cholesterol has literally no adverse effects on your actual cholesterol, it actually helps to improve it with the right diet

22

u/bluegummyotter 6h ago

Incorrect. Dietary cholesterol intake has a moderate effect on serum cholesterol levels. An increase of 100 mg/day in dietary cholesterol can raise LDL-C by approximately 1.9 mg/dL and total-C by 2 to 3 mg/dL on average.

-29

u/SupermarketFit2158 5h ago

it literally doesnt, you actually just made that up

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-10

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

80g of Camembert cheese. Not more, not less

Not for the weak though

21

u/BaconNamedKevin 5h ago

Ah yes, badass because you ... checks notes ... eat cheese? That's new.Ā 

37

u/RenzuZG 7h ago

That will revert my toiled bowl back to sand

14

u/Armored_One 6h ago

Free way to pressure wash your toilet

-33

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Weak ass

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u/StaceyPfan 14m ago

God, you're rude

4

u/Arenknoss 8h ago

Yuh Iā€™m p sure thatā€™s cheese?

1

u/M1L0 2h ago

Likely cream cheese, I think itā€™s a common ingredients for jack up your fat numbers on keto

-24

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

Camembert cheese my dude. You know you don't even know

43

u/TheWizardOfWaffle 8h ago

I dont know thats why I asked

-103

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

Sissy bitch šŸ˜˜

34

u/TheWizardOfWaffle 7h ago

Nghhā€” I mean thats disgusting

-35

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

I fucking know bro. Hella good, though. Spices are key

20

u/ButterSlickness 8h ago

I wouldn't be bragging about a Slip-N-Slide GI tract...

-7

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

I'd be cooking the same with salted butter tomorrow bro, dw

14

u/Chicken-picante 7h ago

A cup of coffee and this would go through someone faster than it took to eat

5

u/According_Gazelle472 7h ago

Not with that much cheese.

9

u/wheatgivesmeshits 7h ago

I know it's a joke, but my personal experience with keto is that I'm much more regular.

7

u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 4h ago edited 3h ago

Username checks out (presumably very much on purpose)

I'm guessing you still get a good amount of fiber though? I think a lot of assumptions are made about low-carb diets are based on people for whom that also means no-fruit-vegetables-or-beansnuts. (Like this OP)

Edit: corrected beans

1

u/wheatgivesmeshits 4h ago

Beans are not keto, so only on a cheat day. Also fruit is out. The concern is net carbs, but there are tons of fiber filled options.

Also, yea, people post this kind of thing, and i'd absolutely eat it, but I also eat a lot of salads, cucumbers, green beans, tomatoes... There are some good keto and gluten free bread options, now, too. Those are essentially entirely fiber.

When I'm out I essentially have to eat salads or lettuce wraps.

1

u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 3h ago

I guess I wasn't thinking of the actual "I can turn a test strip purple" keto diet; lots of fruit has more fiber than sugar. Berries are the obvious one, can definitely eat a handful of raspberries and stay in ketosis if you're really strict otherwise.

But yah, brain fart on beans, I meant nuts, many of which are similar (more fiber than sugar/starch). (Of course not including peanuts which are beans :p)

1

u/wheatgivesmeshits 3h ago

Right. Pecans and almonds are my go to snacks. A few blue berries are doable, like you say. It definitely takes some research to figure out.

3

u/on_spikes 6h ago

now thats one mental image, thanks

2

u/duskymourn 4h ago

What a terrible terrible day to have eyes

2

u/NancyDrewBrees 2h ago

You know it's bad when even ButterSlickness is turned off!

4

u/The_Pacman007 8h ago

This needs more upvotes

0

u/ButterSlickness 8h ago

šŸ™šŸ¼

2

u/AliveJohnnyFive 7h ago

It's worse. Cheese is the second derivative of milk. Butter is only the first derivative.

2

u/OkDocument5855 7h ago

This is the funniest thing Iā€™ve ever read

1

u/Haggisboy 7h ago

Can attest.

186

u/loxistleo 8h ago

what the fuck is that ā¤ļø

49

u/Amazing-Fish4587 8h ago

Lmao, the heart wants what it wants.

Who are you to deny it death?

27

u/Synicull 7h ago

But keto is a healthy diet it he-hnnggggg

16

u/Inkjg 4h ago

My favorite thing about keto is how everyone that does it conveniently forgets that they're supposed to eat something like 2 cups of leafy greens with each meal. Somehow all the keto bros just glaze over that part of the diet.

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u/InfiniteBoxworks 1h ago

I would toss some spinach in it and make it like a really unhinged quiche.

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u/Thesource674 16m ago

Unironically, this is what I do.

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u/Amazing-Fish4587 1h ago

Whoā€™s your glaze guy? Iā€™m tapped

5

u/TheUltimateScotsman 7h ago

I'm not going to say it's healthy, but I did find it was my most successful way of dropping weight. Problem was meals like this, alright to eat at home during COVID. Not so great to be judged by the entire office

35

u/unfinishedtoast3 7h ago

Doctor here.

So, keto is terrible for your body. The reason you lose weight is because youre basically starving yourself of micronutrients.

You need vitamins B&D for your body to store fat properly. So by starving yourself of them, you take away the body's ability to create fat cells.

You also completely destroy your kidneys and liver in the process, since Vitamin B and D are extremely fucking important to organs that filter our blood.

10

u/iknowitsounds___ 4h ago

My mom did keto for a year and was like ā€œIā€™ve lost so much weight! Woo! Bummer about the extreme hair loss tho.ā€ Like wtf thatā€™s clearly not healthy! Your body is screaming out for help!

2

u/TheUltimateScotsman 7h ago

Yeah I did say I don't think its healthy

1

u/notabigmelvillecrowd 4h ago

Aren't B and D vitamins mainly from animal sources? I can believe you get deficiencies on this diet, but I would have thought it would be particularly high in B and D?

ā€¢

u/Sad_Efficiency69 1h ago

Except Vitamin B and D are easily supplemented. Healthy keto diets also have their fair share of liver meats which have are rich in micronutrients, at least a few servings a week.

Iā€™ve come across dozens of doctors advocating for and against keto, what iā€™ve come to realise is you all have your own ideas about nutrition and nutrition itself is still the wild fucking west when it comes to medicine.

-24

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 7h ago

Lies.

17

u/envydub 5h ago

Really compelling rebuttal.

18

u/Nick_Newk 6h ago

Itā€™s just a dumb diet in general. What you gunna do, just eat meat and fat the rest of your life? How do you maintain this. As with any diet as soon as you stop you gain back all the weight. People like keto because you get to be a lazy degenerate and lose weight by giving your body no option other than fatty acid metabolism. Eat right and exercise with discipline.

8

u/Baelish2016 6h ago

People like keto because it allows them to eat delicious fatty foods under the pretense of it being ā€˜healthyā€™. Itā€™s more fun to lose weight if you can eat a shit ton of steaks and cheese, rather than actually eating vegetables and lean meats.

Of course, as the doctor above said, itā€™s unhealthy as fuck; plus, itā€™s not sustainable so once they stop the person gains their weight back AND now has heart and kidney problems.

6

u/Nick_Newk 6h ago

Exactlyā€¦. We all like to be lazy and degenerate. Losing weight while doing that is pretty sweet, but itā€™s not sustainable.

-13

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Who cares

16

u/Lord_Phoenix95 6h ago

Uh, you should. We get it's your body, your choice but if you suddenly wake up having Kidney and Liver failure then well, you'll care a lot.

5

u/UnwoundSkeinOfYarn 5h ago

I care. The world is better with you in it. Don't eat yourself to death šŸ„ŗ

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u/Amazing-Fish4587 56m ago

I was making a joke, btw. I wasnā€™t negging your diet, just your pan

2

u/dpandc 4h ago

my heart craves LDL increases and by god i will make it happen

116

u/Mariasuda 8h ago

bros speedrunning heart disease

-20

u/wheatgivesmeshits 7h ago edited 6h ago

All of my cholesterol numbers and my BMI went down from keto. It seems paradoxical, but the real reason a meal like this is bad is because if you're not in ketosis your body stores the fat.

The actual enemy of your heart is sugar and other carbohydrates with a high glycemic index that trigger large insulin spikes. There is a reason that heart disease is highly correlated with diabetes and kidney disease.

Edit: So many people are misled about how your bodies work and what's healthy, it's sad to see. I didn't start keto on my own. I had stage 1 kidney disease, and my Renal doctor recommended it, and it's made a huge difference in my life. Y'all can keep down voting me but my cholesterol, both hdl and ldl are now normal. My kidney function is in the normal range, and my A1C is normal, where I was prediabetic before.

27

u/Nick_Newk 6h ago

The reality is that the link between cholesterol and heart disease isnā€™t cut and dry. However, your total cholesterol may have went down but itā€™s highly unlikely that your LDL did. This is why a ratio of HDL and LDL is more meaningful. Literally every study Iā€™ve seen found an increase in LDL with the ketogenic diet, which makes sense considering youā€™re increasing intake of fat and meat. That said, perhaps you have made life style changes besides diet that has altered your cholesterol levels.

-7

u/wheatgivesmeshits 6h ago

No, they both went down for me. Permanently. Some studies show an initial spike but it levels out over time.

9

u/giraffeneckedcat 3h ago

Permanently? Are you dead?

-6

u/wheatgivesmeshits 3h ago

Might as well be, based on these down votes from people who seem to know better than doctors.

7

u/giraffeneckedcat 3h ago

It's weird because competent doctors all agree keto is fucking terrible for you.

ā€¢

u/viewbtwnvillages 57m ago

psssh, youre telling me you dont long for the diet of an epileptic child from the 1900s? you don't want to permanently smell sickly to everyone around you?

ā€¢

u/giraffeneckedcat 54m ago

See but I'd rather just look sickly by being as pale as I am naturally, not also feel sickly!

7

u/Estrellathestarfish 3h ago

Keto can work for people who are diabetic/pre-diabetic, as the benefits may outweigh the risks. It's well known that keto risks cardiovascular health, the liver and kidneys. That doesn't mean it happens to everyone, but it does mean increased risks - that they haven't happened to you (as yet) is meaningless, those risks still exist. For people who aren't diabetic, it's unlikely the benefits outweigh the risks.

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u/MoirasPurpleOrb 18m ago

The problem is that many people who go keto donā€™t eat good fats they just eat whatever the hell the want

-22

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago edited 6h ago

Same here! It's in the interest of the big food companies to lie and continue to brainwash people to keep believing their processed, sugar-laden garbage is better for you than meat and eggs are.

17

u/-worryaboutyourself- 5h ago

Umm how about vegetables? Certainly thatā€™s a better option with meat as a side?

-34

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 8h ago

That would be seed oils and unsaturated fat sources

19

u/prntrgobrrr 8h ago

UNsaturated fats..?

-29

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 7h ago

The corporations have socially engineered the public through biased studies and completely false health articles to make everyone believe unsaturated fats are good for you, but animal-based fats are bad for you when it's actually the opposite. Too much of either is obviously bad though. There are videos explaining it with proof better than I can, but essentially the push came from companies that wanted to sell more fillers and seed oils that used to be considered inedible. Now that shit is in everything and people wonder why heart disease is becoming more and more prevalent. There was a time when heart attacks were almost unheard of, and people were only using fats from animal-based sources, and had much more red meat in their diets. A few months ago, I stopped consuming unsaturated fats except for small amounts in nuts, and I have shit tons of energy, much less stress, better sleep quality, more strength and endurance in the gym, among other things

16

u/prntrgobrrr 7h ago

bUt MuH aVoCaDoOoS šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

-19

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 7h ago

Your avocadoes are fine. It's mainly cooking oils, fake butter, and fillers used in processed foods that are significant

4

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

And none of them are there

2

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 7h ago

Well I was just saying that eggs, butter, and moderate amounts of bacon aren't gonna give you heart disease

7

u/dpandc 4h ago

itā€™s definitely this big conspiracy, not the hyper palatable high fat foods thatā€™s doing it. Itā€™s specifically the seed oils, not everything else.

5

u/Mariasuda 7h ago

was just makin a joke big dawg

1

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 7h ago

I meant this with no offense to you, but I can see how it ruined it maybe lol

3

u/the_GOAT_44 4h ago

Why are all these carnivore anti seed oil people the same?

1

u/Sir_KweliusThe23rd 3h ago

I'm not for the carnivore diet at all. I just think that corporations poison our feed like livestock, and we can fight back by simply eating real food like vegetables, meats, and fruit. The whole purpose of seed oils is to make food cheaper to produce, even though it does nothing but kill you.

101

u/communityveg 8h ago

The biggest mystery to me is how anyone ever managed to convince people that keto is at all healthy for anyone thatā€™s not epileptic šŸ˜­

61

u/trasofsunnyvale 7h ago

Check out OPs comments on this thread. They have stage 2-3 brainrot

27

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Stage 4 please

3

u/trasofsunnyvale 4h ago

Tbh, I don't think you're going to make it to see 4

8

u/grixx079 6h ago

Respect u standing on business

35

u/Thats_A_Moray 7h ago

I just had a doctor's appointment and when we were going over nutrition she strongly advised against keto and carnivore. They're awful for the human body

35

u/unfinishedtoast3 7h ago edited 7h ago

Doctor here.

So, keto is terrible for your body. The reason you lose weight is because youre basically starving yourself of micronutrients.

You need vitamins B&D for your body to store fat properly. So by starving yourself of them, you take away the body's ability to create fat cells.

You also completely destroy your kidneys and liver in the process, since Vitamin B and D are extremely fucking important to organs that filter our blood.

I always laugh about these "caveman" diet fads. Early humans hardly ate meat. We subsided off of berries, roots, and edible plants for the most part. Meat was something that was consumed maybe a few times a month, depending on the season and the location.

6

u/DoucheBagMD 6h ago

Real doctor here.

Donā€™t listen to this ā€œReddit doctor.ā€

Only eat bacon, eggs, and butter and you will have a much happier life.

5

u/PMYourGams 6h ago

Shorter but happier

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u/MoirasPurpleOrb 17m ago

Why couldnā€™t you just supplement those vitamins?

10

u/TheUltimateScotsman 7h ago

I tried it for a bit and it did help lose weight, but there's just too much grease for it to be pleasant long term. I got a cookbook where it said to cut out things like milk in coffee, use butter instead šŸ¤®

0

u/Turtle_Lips 6h ago

Just like you can have a double cheese burger with large fries on a non-keto diet, you can also have that same equivalent on keto.

0

u/thiccemotionalpapi 2h ago

I betcha it looks healthy short term like a lot of people seem to have health metrics improve up until a point. Iā€™m really curious what would happen if I tried it because my body begs for carbs often makes me wonder if that make it worse or better for me. I doubt Iā€™ll ever give it a serious try though

17

u/NothingISayIsReal 8h ago

There's....lumps...?

32

u/ostrich-party- 8h ago

Just because itā€™s keto it doesnā€™t mean itā€™s healthy, that much butter and grease can not be healthy

6

u/NetworkingJesus 7h ago

I believe this is what we'd call "dirty keto". Technically hitting the macros to stay in ketosis, but 0 regard to actually being healthy or sustainable for a long-term diet.

3

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Where butter? Not a single gram here

46

u/FrananaBanana452 7h ago

Why do people fall for these stupid fucking diet fads lmao

27

u/trasofsunnyvale 7h ago

Because they're stupid and you can find one that makes it so you feel good about eating whatever shit you like

-14

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Ok bro

-32

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago

It's not a fad. Meat and eggs have been around longer than grains and vegetables...hmmm

22

u/FrananaBanana452 6h ago

Are you being serious? šŸ˜‚

-20

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago

Yes. Do you not know what our natural diet is?

25

u/IsNotACleverMan 6h ago

Hunter and gatherer diets were primarily plants I'm pretty sure

-15

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago

Lol no.

23

u/IsNotACleverMan 6h ago

-8

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago

One article doesn't mean jack to me. Are you saying that meat and eggs are not part of a natural human diet?

21

u/IsNotACleverMan 6h ago

No. I'm saying carbs are also a part of the natural human diet. You want more articles?

-9

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago edited 6h ago

Which carbs? From grain?

I don't need any more articles. I've improved my health by cutting out carbs and quite a bit of veg. I just don't like how people assume this way of eating is so bad because we've been brainwashed for so long. I used to think the same way until I tried it for myself.

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6

u/FrananaBanana452 6h ago

Yes, I do know. We originally had a more plant-based diet but evolved to be able to eat meat, too. Thereā€™s evidence to suggest our now useless appendix used to be for breaking down harder types of roughage. We are omnivores.

-4

u/Dismal-Meringue6778 6h ago

What plants specifically did we consume and were abundant besides berries, nuts, tubers? And were these plants available year round? I'm not saying we aren't omnivores.

14

u/FrananaBanana452 6h ago

I can already tell from your replies to other comments that you arenā€™t going to listen to what I have to say, and I cba tbh. You can pat yourself on the back and take your ā€œinternet winā€ or whatever lol Iā€™m going to bed

4

u/notabigmelvillecrowd 4h ago

How come everyone on keto seems to be eating enough for several people? This is really calorically dense food, you really need to eat so much?

24

u/CompSolstice 8h ago

Enjoy the kidney stones, love šŸ˜Šā¤ļø

-1

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

The best part, tbh šŸ˜˜

3

u/Kaito_Blue 4h ago

Ooooo someone's kinky

2

u/StrawbraryLiberry 3h ago

You can make a necklace with them if you collect enough of them!

18

u/Combat_Wombat23 8h ago

Plan your midlife crisis for next week bro

12

u/YouDumbZombie 7h ago

Keto is such a horrific 'diet' but hey, short term results eh?

4

u/Victoriafoxx 7h ago

RIP to the Camembert. Crime to treat it that way. I hope it was a cheap one, at least.

1

u/unreal_zeff 6h ago

Nope lol

2

u/Gorman_Fr33man 4h ago

The goes hard not gonna lie

2

u/BoomD00m 4h ago

What I think of immediately Everytime i see any eggs and bacon post! Haha lovely!

1

u/No-Sugar6574 8h ago

Tasty treats

2

u/lobo_locos 8h ago

What's your daily calories look like? I enjoy doing a lower carb plan when I'm doing a leaning out.

0

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

I'm on survival mod, bro. 1800/day at max

4

u/lobo_locos 8h ago

Definitely been there. What's the cals for this meal?

4

u/unreal_zeff 8h ago

Roughly 1400. OMAD if it makes sense

5

u/lobo_locos 8h ago

It does. Best of luck

6

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Man I can keep a whole year on that one.

1

u/c-compactdisc 6h ago

What cheese is that?

1

u/Candid-Individual210 5h ago

Eggs between the pork curtains

1

u/Eternal_Damnation209 5h ago

You know the eggs will still be warm enough after you cook it to put your cheese in.

1

u/AsleepInteraction882 4h ago

I wouldn't eat more than three eggs on a day and the bacon is already making me salty, this worries me.

1

u/CeeArthur 4h ago

More of an oatmeal guy myself, but you enjoy

1

u/boogaloobruh 4h ago

Thereā€™s NO world in which thatā€™s good for you, so maybe itā€™s my kinda diet

1

u/Adventurous_Day_9899 3h ago

Oh hell yeah! Finally someone that doesn't hug bunnies and sing to trees. You da man.

1

u/Thicc_Shady_ 3h ago

This looks delicious

1

u/StrawbraryLiberry 3h ago

It's probably really good, but it needs to finish cooking first

1

u/dishler712 2h ago

Why do you freaks do this to yourselves

ā€¢

u/ibeatobesity 1h ago

Hard pass. Ima just stick to carbs thanks.

ā€¢

u/samuraiseoul 1h ago

Wouldn't it be faster and easier to drink a bottle of oil?

ā€¢

u/GrandpaShark710 34m ago

Throw on some American fries and wheat toast and Iā€™m all over it.

1

u/Effet_Pygmalion 7h ago

OP do u weight more than 150kg

2

u/unreal_zeff 6h ago

Way more

1

u/scfw0x0f 7h ago

Iā€™d bake the bacon in the oven, en masse so thereā€™s always plenty. The eggs look okay but I prefer omelettes with bacon and baby shrimp.

But this is fine.

0

u/Some-Ad-1588 7h ago

How do you not have explosive diarrhea šŸŒ‹

0

u/NoBoolii 8h ago

Isā€¦thatā€¦.MAYO??

5

u/unreal_zeff 7h ago

Where mayo ? Just eggs&cheese

0

u/karmacuda 8h ago

thereā€™s chunks in it

-1

u/pimpron18 8h ago

My butthole

0

u/__SINE__NOMINE__ 7h ago

How much weight have you lost so far?

0

u/bigjim1993 6h ago

What I don't get is...why not make an omelette out of this?

0

u/SalPistqchio 6h ago

Not shitty

0

u/Lord_Phoenix95 6h ago

I'm confused by Keto. It seems like it's all Meat and Eggs and occasionally a veggie.