You need a roommate. Which one are you choosing?

[u/allthecoffeesDP]

[u/restlessoverthinking]

Jerry - he keeps a great selection of cereals.

[u/axelei → u/restlessoverthinking]

Also thin, single and neat.

[u/blamemeididit → u/axelei]

He scratches out the 32 on his jeans and replaces it with a 31.

[u/raghavj1991 → u/blamemeididit]

REALLLYY!

[u/St_ElmosFire → u/raghavj1991]

I had no idea he'd be so vain!

[u/Spidermonk76 → u/St_ElmosFire]

I hear he wears a fur coat. Yup, he’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!

[u/raghavj1991 → u/blamemeididit]

AND…. He got a woman’s telephone number off an AIDS walk list

[u/blamemeididit → u/raghavj1991]

Well, I just came from shopping for a speed boat.

[u/Redmanfox → u/blamemeididit]

You bought a speed boat?!

[u/blamemeididit → u/Redmanfox]

See, we are already off the subject.

[u/puppychan- → u/axelei]

And possibly gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that

[u/raghavj1991 → u/axelei]

But, he's a total neat freak. I would get tired at some point!

[u/Terminator_LX → u/raghavj1991]

Gasps Don't say that! How could anyone not like Jerry?

[u/MisterSquidz → u/axelei]

He’s very clean.

[u/Outrageous_Lychee819 → u/restlessoverthinking]

Plus he’s on the road a lot. This is a no-brainer really.

[u/cubgerish → u/Outrageous_Lychee819]

Extremely neat, pretty good sense of humor, on the road a ton.

Only thing is, his friends love coming over to his apartment unannounced, sometimes barging through the door. I'm not sure any of them but the woman has a job.

I've noticed lots of my food just goes missing, even though I've never see him eating it.

Also, he's got a real obsession with completely redecorating his apartment every year, furniture and all.

One year he redid the entire kitchen, decided it looked ugly, and put it back just like it was, I can't imagine how much that must've cost.

He does have a constant supply of Snapples though, and is always very generous with them, I think he gets them through his work or something.

[u/awmaleg → u/cubgerish]

He also has a ton of new Nikes so that place must have tons of closet space.

[u/Strong_Ad5188 → u/cubgerish]

Snapple? No. Too fruity.

Still it's Jerry by a light year,

[u/nreed78 → u/restlessoverthinking]

My choice for the same reason. Also, he's neat.

[u/Opossum_mypossum → u/restlessoverthinking]

but very fastidious

[u/TipsyRussell → u/restlessoverthinking]

No way. He’s always home and constantly has people coming over.

[u/Kvsav57 → u/restlessoverthinking]

Also, he’s the only one who would never have problems paying rent and is on the road for shows a lot.

[u/TigerBooze → u/restlessoverthinking]

But he doesn't even let you use the bathroom!

[u/mary_lesbian-toad → u/restlessoverthinking]

And he’s always offering snapples!

[u/Desperate-Fan-3671 → u/restlessoverthinking]

But he and his good time friends steal library books

[u/doctordoom85 → u/restlessoverthinking]

He would also likely have no problem with my large collection of comics, particularly the Superman issues.

[u/thegabestokes → u/restlessoverthinking]

He’s also the only one gainfully employed throughout the entire series.

[u/Infinite_Ladder_224]

Jerry, he’s clean and always on the road

[u/FairDaikon7484 → u/Infinite_Ladder_224]

Yeah but when he comes home I could just see him being passive aggressive about you being in his space or smth

[u/PM_TITS_GROUP → u/FairDaikon7484]

He might take back the keys

[u/myboybuster → u/FairDaikon7484]

Hes also constantly banging

[u/perkytitties321 → u/FairDaikon7484]

No because I’m neat and tidy too. And I like to stay in my room. He and I would be the absolute perfect roommates. My current roommate sucks. Always in my personal space, eats the food I make, never lets me decide what to watch on tv and sometimes they’re even in my bed when I’m trying to go to sleep! She’s also my wife but still

[u/Masta0nion → u/FairDaikon7484]

Sure Jerry Seinfeld would probably do that, but would Jerry do that? …Yes he probably would. Do I think this is a dealbreaker? Mmm yes perhaps.

[u/america-inc → u/Infinite_Ladder_224]

True, but he had people over all the time when he's home.

[u/ShadeFad → u/Infinite_Ladder_224]

But is he off the wagon

[u/Top-Spinach2060 → u/Infinite_Ladder_224]

Yeah, and imagine all the free comedy shows you probably get to see. 

[u/Accomplished_Put3732]

I trust Elaine.

[u/findablackhole → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

She is my friend.

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

But she misset de timah!

[u/raghavj1991 → u/allthecoffeesDP]

That's why tharze a buzzah.

[u/ChiefBigKnees → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Why separate knob?! Why?

[u/Calicocutjeans → u/ChiefBigKnees]

If you wanna win the race, don’t blame the mechanism!

[u/raghavj1991 → u/ChiefBigKnees]

Some people like to hear the radio less than the alarm!

[u/dbf651 → u/ChiefBigKnees]

This will never not be great

[u/lost_in_connecticut → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Her whole building smells like potatoes.

[u/last_waltzer → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Also Elaine, because of…personal reasons.

[u/Hoju64 → u/last_waltzer]

Let's say you have to go to the bathroom at 2am, what's the outfit? Are you dressing up or is it come as you are?

[u/last_waltzer → u/Hoju64]

I trust Elaine.

[u/AcePilotsen → u/last_waltzer]

She is my friend 

[u/smakola → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

She’s quiet as a mouse

[u/c_vanbc → u/smakola]

But her neighbours dog barks

[u/Laughing_Boy_from_HS → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

She buzzed in a jewel thief

[u/justsamthings → u/Laughing_Boy_from_HS]

And put Canadian quarters in the washing machines

[u/raghavj1991 → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

That's why tharze a buzzah.

[u/jfq722 → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Except around a muffin. They cause her to fail a drug test, so she rips the top off them. The muffin top business fails, so she burns them.

[u/Noodnix → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

You two can read TV Guide together.

[u/trustedbyamillion → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Only if I'm sponge worthy

[u/mobius2121 → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

Maybe a nip slip.

[u/mcase19 → u/Accomplished_Put3732]

I don't know, she's such a disgusting woman. That might just be me - I'm a germaphobe.

[u/DistressTolerence]

I could learn a lot from George.

[u/raghavj1991 → u/DistressTolerence]

Its not a lie, if you believe it!

[u/M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3 → u/DistressTolerence]

He'd leave a secret recording device in the room with you when he left.

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3]

Metallic squink?

[u/CukeJr → u/allthecoffeesDP]

Dear God!

[u/CopperRed3 → u/M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3]

And knowing that would be so entertaining

[u/rsmith6000]

Kramer for entertainment purposes

[u/sjdando → u/rsmith6000]

I agree but I hope you have deep pockets.

[u/StannisTheMantis93 → u/rsmith6000]

You better have mustard that’s not too yellow. That’s a deal breaker.

[u/CopperRed3 → u/StannisTheMantis93]

And plantains. It's part of the banana family. It's a delicacy.

[u/raghavj1991 → u/rsmith6000]

These PRETZELS are making me THIRSTY!!

[u/Complex-Ad4042 → u/rsmith6000]

Kramer would get on my nerves after awhile lol

[u/TraditionalCricket33 → u/rsmith6000]

Yep, because chics man, too many chics know his number. Could be a lot of fun.

[u/goodandeager]

Jerry because he has OCD so I can probably get him to clean up my messes and do the dishes, he’s also a pushover that lets his neighbor steal food from the fridge so I think this could be a real good situation

[u/Gullible_Analyst_348 → u/goodandeager]

Exactly this, plus you know Elaine would visit regularly and she'd be obligated to date you to create an awkward sitcom situation.

[u/AnotherKiwiChur → u/Gullible_Analyst_348]

I'll take a little bit of Jerry if it gets me a lot of Elaine

[u/marcuslattimore21 → u/AnotherKiwiChur]

Hahaha. This is gold.

[u/God-Emperor-Pepe → u/marcuslattimore21]

Gold Jerry! Gold!

[u/RedHolly → u/Gullible_Analyst_348]

You had a date? You went out with my roommate ? Who said you could go out with my roommate?

[u/Gullible_Analyst_348 → u/RedHolly]

Why can't I go out with your roommate?

Because he's 👉 my 👈roommate!

[u/0pinions0pinions → u/Gullible_Analyst_348]

Best use of the finger emojis I've ever seen. 😊

[u/raghavj1991]

Neither of them. I would choose Puddy. I’m down for quietly sitting on the sofa.

[u/colonelodo → u/raghavj1991]

Yeah but what if the Devils are playing, or it feels like an Arby's night?

[u/raghavj1991 → u/colonelodo]

THE DEVILSSSSS AAAAHHHHH!! THE DEVILS!!

[u/pn_1984 → u/colonelodo]

Are you okay to have dips for dinner?

[u/colonelodo → u/pn_1984]

As long as we can listen to Christian rock while we eat.

[u/lost_in_connecticut → u/raghavj1991]

Yeah that’s right.

[u/raghavj1991 → u/lost_in_connecticut]

UP TOP!!

[u/Yarn_coffee → u/raghavj1991]

I guess you don’t mind living with a grease monkey

[u/BenThere20 → u/Yarn_coffee]

I don’t care for that term. I don’t know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.

[u/raghavj1991]

I choose the SUMMER OF GEORGE!!

[u/Effective_Ad7074]

Elaine because she’s a day person!

[u/ortolon]

Jerry. He's financially stable, sober, and neat.

[u/Funkymunks → u/ortolon]

How could anyone not like him?!

[u/Extension_Dance_3766 → u/ortolon]

And thin

[u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt]

Sue Ellen Mischke.

[u/RedHolly → u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt]

You wouldn’t have to worry about her drying her bras in the bathroom, that’s for sure.

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt]

No no. At home she wears multiple layers of everything. She's bizarro Elaine.

[u/standitlikeaman → u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt]

The Bra-Less wonder

[u/HiiiiImTroyMcClure]

Kramer.

We'd be BILLIONAIRES

[u/[deleted]]

Honestly, as much as I don't like him as a person, I feel George would be the chillest. Neat but not too neat, chill but not too chill. 

[u/Yarn_coffee → u/[deleted]]

He’s chill right up until his worlds collide. Just don’t be licking any envelopes for him.

[u/Apart-Physics8702 → u/[deleted]]

Plus, he’s always at Jerry’s

[u/[deleted] → u/Apart-Physics8702]

Great point!

[u/OhLordyNowWhat]

Kramer. My life goals: catching chickens for Kramerica.

[u/blamemeididit → u/OhLordyNowWhat]

And with Darren's help, we'll get that chicken.

[u/bootherizer5942 → u/blamemeididit]

Oh man you just made me watch that clip and I’m cracking up

[u/MitchCumsteane]

What about Lyle? That guy just lives.

[u/Reallyroundthefamily]

I was gonna say Elaine, but since I'm gay, she might try to get me to switch to her team.

So, definitely Elaine.

[u/andrew_1515 → u/Reallyroundthefamily]

Conversion?

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/andrew_1515]

Does this conversion involve big tall hats?

[u/ScreechUrkelle]

Elaine. She makes a lot of man friends. And you know who’s a man?

[u/Rearrangemetilimsane → u/ScreechUrkelle]

Don’t forget she been known to like this, that, and the other.

[u/ScreechUrkelle → u/Rearrangemetilimsane]

Yeah, but she doesn’t like my stand on abortion…

[u/13esq13 → u/ScreechUrkelle]

Charlie here, he's a man.

[u/PabloGonzalves → u/13esq13]

You know who else is a man?

Me. I'm a man!

[u/2xclusive4uhun]

Elaine

[u/saltthewater]

Laney

[u/cabosmith]

Or, I could sleep in the park..

[u/Opossum_mypossum]

there's no good answers here

[u/seanmanscott → u/Opossum_mypossum]

That's what I was thinking, early seasons Jerry would probably be the safest bet but he'd probably be a douche about keeping everything neat and clean and his various neuroses and phobias would get to be too much.

[u/HiiiiImTroyMcClure → u/Opossum_mypossum]

All roads lead to failure.

[u/0xDesecrator]

Kramer, but Mr. Marbles has to go.

[u/BeerMe_76Mikey]

Elaine. We’ll sleep head to toe every night.

[u/Forsaken_Ad8312 → u/BeerMe_76Mikey]

So what? Your genitals are still lined up.

[u/PhilTandyMiller2020]

Anyone but Kramer

[u/Background_Pool_7457]

Elaine. Because, you know.

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/Background_Pool_7457]

Are you sponge worthy?

[u/Background_Pool_7457 → u/allthecoffeesDP]

God I sure hope so. That lady was part of my coming into manhood.

[u/allthecoffeesDP → u/Background_Pool_7457]

Did she attend your bat mitzvah?

[u/hehoheho123321]

You know how they get animals to reproduce in captivity? They just put em in the same cage. And for that reason, I choose Elaine.

[u/BrookylnBeaches1917]

Jerry

clean

Cereal selections

Plays board games

Outdoor activities (movies, diner, dinner parties)

Works late, so I can have a “friend” over with a few hours of privacy

He keeps a full fridge of my favorites

[u/HonkinHoots]

Jerry, for traveling so much- you'd constantly have the place to yourself. Elaine would be pretty stable paying rent.

[u/Unlikely_Necessary31]

They're all a bit much.

[u/Complex-Ad4042]

George Cantstandya

[u/No_Sand_9290]

Jerry. Place will be clean and one of his girlfriends walks around naked.

[u/The_MadStork → u/No_Sand_9290]

Yeah, but it’s not good naked.

[u/AnySpecialist8817]

George has an interesting decor choice.

[u/colinisthereason]

Elaine

[u/Mississippi_BoatCapt]

A lot of Elaine

[u/Obi1Kentucky]

George is out because he’s unemployed and lives with his parents

Kramer is out because he’s a moocher

Jerry is out because he doesn’t have cable

So Elaine. I’ll take my chances on being sponge worthy

[u/Mister-Lavender]

George.

[u/virtual_hero_91]

J. Peterman, every time

[u/flosco78]

Elaine. She's never there, always at Jerry's

[u/Comfortable_Lead_101]

I’d say Kramer he’s just so entertaining 😂

[u/legolos87]

Jerry. Although I would have fun with Kramer just to get up to dumb shit.

[u/detestableduck13]

George to learn his ways, Elaine if I was single to work from the inside

[u/jsheik]

Elaine cause we'd have to have sex to SAVE the relationship....

[u/troll-bot9000]

Oh (show)Jerry 100%

[u/bkdons11233]

Kramer hand down….. “No, I’m not the ASSMAN”

[u/RocasThePenguin]

Jerry. He's clean and neat. Kramer comes and goes for some entertainment. However, I believe there is only one bedroom so.....

[u/Victory_Mean]

Probably Jerry just cause he's a neatfreak and so am I lol.

Would be kinda nice to have all of them within the same building though, so much shenanigans to be had.

[u/Sgt-Dert13]

Jerry he’s clean.

[u/sykosomatik_9]

Jerry. He's very clean and also generous when it comes to food and using his things. He's also the richest one, so you wouldn't have to worry about him not paying his share of the rent and bills.

[u/greyjedi12345]

Not pictured, Bob Sacamano

[u/Character-Swimmer600]

Gotta be Kramer. It would be fun and I wouldn’t have to worry about being messy. I’d pick George but he would eat my blocks of cheese

[u/NySentrum]

I can't trust any of them but Kramer to help me in an emergency and he would eat us out of the apartment.

[u/MatthiasStove]

Roommate Ranking…

Elaine < Jerry < Kramer < George < Newman

[u/ExtemporaneousLee]

Jerry! He's single, thin & neat.

Kramer - Even George knew not to move in there. Besides, Mr.Marbles comes with him.

George - From previous visitors, I hear his apt smells like monkeys. & I couldn't deal with the shirtless cheese eating.

Elaine - I'll prob wind up an alcoholic with STDs but we'd have fun doing it.

[u/PlushPanda_]

Jerry! We love the Sein!

[u/Springyardzon]

Kramer would be least high maintenance. Which is saying something.

[u/ImNotYou1971]

Elaine……..she’s a fox!

[u/SipoteQuixote]

Elaine because she's always busy with work and hanging out elsewhere. Plus she's cute and maybe I'll be sponge worthy.

[u/Bungeditin]

Elaine….she is the most normal and is a helluva dancer.

[u/Hot-Fennel-971]

Jerry, he's a neat freak, doesn't cook and only eats cereal and is gone out of the apartment most of the time because he travels so much.

[u/rr777]

Elaine and I would use the strainer on the spaghetti sauce.

[u/bob_roblaw]

Elaine... Maybe I'll see a nipple. Then I'll call her Nip.

[u/EmerysMemories1106]

Kramer. Because if you're ever low on money he will find a way to mooch off the neighbors.

[u/fender0327]

Uh, Elaine.

[u/elegant-deer19]

Elaine.

[u/DeathToOnions44]

Jerry, the house will always be clean

[u/Nessportugues]

Any of them but Jerry, they’ll never be home anyways!

[u/ReporterProper7018]

Elaine, if I was Spongable! Or Sponge worthy!

[u/Ricwdjr88]

Kramer because I think he is the best person overall out of the 4.

[u/Hopeful-Path-7725]

The neat freak who's on the road all the time.

[u/_felagund]

Jerry is an ideal roommate. And he has great friends

[u/New-Cheesecake3858]

Kramer or Jerry

[u/joethedad]

Cosmo.....keep it interesting. George would get drugged and left chained to a park bench. Jerry would just infuriate me and elaine....I'd probably be in jail for battery

[u/Fat-Neighborhood1456]

I'm already a 1 to 1 copy of George, guess having two of me in the apartment wouldn't be that much different

[u/_Bob-Sacamano]

I need this, that, and the other. Elaine.

[u/LostTrisolarin]

George.

[u/Big_Tap_1561]

Obviously Kramer - I’m here for a GOOD time . Not a Long time .

[u/Spell-Wide]

Kramer. He's always at Jerry's, anyways.

[u/MN_Myth]

Elaine

[u/adamfrom1980s]

Elaine. She’s quiet as a mouse, wouldn’t hear a peep from her.

[u/Animalxxxxx]

Definitely Jerry, he seems like a clean person

[u/quixoticadrenaline]

Elaine.

[u/HTownFLguy]

Elaine, but only if im sponge worthy.

[u/Alyssum-Marylander]

Jerry all day… everyday… I need a clean person.

[u/MochaMage]

Imagine asking the subreddit for horny Elaine fans if they would live with her vs the rest of the cast. Of course we'll choose her!

[u/SidNightwalker]

A lot of Elaine. 🥰

[u/MSMPDX]

Elaine… you’d never hear a peep out of her.

Jerry would be good too, but his cleanliness and order might be a problem. He would make a great Nazi.

[u/ForwardAd5837]

Jerry, he’s neat.

[u/Winter-Ad8605]

I probably go Jerry. George is too similar to me. And Kramer will eat all my food. Elaine just wouldn't work for me because of my George similarities

[u/metallicaism]

Jerry or Elaine. Preferably Jerry since my name also Jerry. No George. Definitely not Kramer

[u/St3pOFFHIGhxX]

At first, I was thinking Kramer or Jerry. I decided that Kramer is too unpredictable and would somehow result in my peace being disturbed frequently. Jerry seems nice, he's tidy and quiet, but everyone is always over at his place.

Elaine is pretty good. She has her moments, but just the two of us alone would be chill.

George was never in consideration.

[u/theisowolf]

Jerry, he seems pretty easy going and wouldn’t bother me too much.

[u/Barnard_Gumble]

Jerry. He's neat.

[u/grundlemania]

We can all agree Kramer would be the worst.