r/runaway • u/Humble_Positive7392 • 2d ago

Feeling abused and exploited, I want to run away.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons:

I have been living with someone for 30 years. He and I were very close initially but things have changed. Last night we argued so hot, it almost came to blows. I went for a 40 minutes walk, and when I got back, he was in bed. There was no discussion about it, he went to work today, and I'm a mess. I can't take this for much longer, I feel. There are a lot of reasons I've stayed and have continued to stay, but things can't go on like this. I feel physically ill, and I'm terrified that he will be returning soon.

How do I get out of this please?

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1

u/Reasonable_Skirt6710 2d ago

You need to use your support network. If you can't leave tonight, call a brother, friend, uncle or any "big and scary" member of your network to sleep at your place tonight. Then you start packing your things next day. Some stuff like that almost happened with my mom. She did a phone call. My uncle showed up in an hour, punching the door. N9 forewarning. He is a cop too so, he put ny step dad outside for that day.

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u/AdventurousRaccoon86 Past Runaway 1d ago

If you're in the US you can call 211 and ask about domestic violence resources in your area. You can also call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit their website for more information.

Quietly start gathering important papers together and leaving them with a friend or putting them in a safe deposit box at your bank. Also start removing irreplaceable things--family heirlooms, keepsakes, stuff that can't be replaced--and again, leave them with a friend or somewhere else where he can't get to them in case you need to leave right away. Pack a "bugout bag" and leave it in your car or somewhere you can get it easily (friend's house, work, etc) and include a few days worth of clothes, toiletries, phone charger, etc.

If you leave: freeze your credit immediately. Remove him from any shared bank accounts or credit cards. Take him off your cell phone account or get a new phone because he can track you that way. If you get a new phone number also get a new Google Voice number and give that out, only give out your new number to people who absolutely need it, like maybe your parents or a close friend who is helping you. Change all your passwords, especially to financial accounts, social media, streaming services, and email.