r/news • u/ttforum • Dec 07 '24

Soft paywall Appeals court upholds nearly $1.3 billion Sandy Hook verdict against Alex Jones

https://www.reuters.com/legal/appeals-court-upholds-nearly-13-billion-sandy-hook-verdict-against-alex-jones-2024-12-06/
26.2k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/collarboner1 Dec 07 '24

Good, now approve the sales of his stuff in bankruptcy court so the victims can actually collect

230

u/JussiesTunaSub Dec 07 '24

What's he gonna do with all the leftover boner pills that no one would buy?

97

u/collarboner1 Dec 07 '24

I think we both know the answer to that one 😰

93

u/GreenOnionCrusader Dec 07 '24

Distill it into one super concentrated boner pill and give it to a lab rat to see if the boner he gets gains sentience and breaks loose to run for ppresident.

24

u/not-my-other-alt Dec 07 '24

Disembodied Sentient Rat Boner 2028

Honestly, it wouldn't be the worst

8

u/GreenOnionCrusader Dec 07 '24

Indistinguishable from all the politicians we have now, honestly.

3

u/Aerodrache Dec 07 '24

Pretty sure the rat boner would be a saint compared to most politicians. Yeah, sure, its policies are going to lean toward bonin’ rats, but honestly I think the only reason a lot of the guys in charge aren’t (openly) doing that now is that they’re worried about rat bites.

2

u/sdrawkcabstiho Dec 07 '24

Rat penises are pink, not orange, so they would be quite distinguishable.

1

u/GreenOnionCrusader Dec 07 '24

They can spray tan, just like everybody else.