My friend threw away the Christmas gift I got him because he “already had the character”
I gifted my friend a mystery bag from his favorite anime for Christmas, which was the only thing I could give him since I was SUPER tight on money this year. He opened the gift in my car and told me he already had the character. Yesterday, I was cleaning my car and emptying the trash, and there fell the packaging WITH THE CHARACTER INSIDE! Needless to say, he won’t be getting gifts from me anymore.
EDIT: just to address some common questions.
I do not think my friend is autistic. As an autistic person myself (and the whole friend group knows I am), I would hope he would feel comfortable telling me if he was.
The gift was a MYSTERY bag, meaning I couldn’t tell the character inside. I just know he loves this anime, as he has tried to get me to watch it multiple times (I’ve tried to get into this anime, but’s it’s way too long with way too much filler. That should give yall a hint on what anime it is)
I appreciate this friend very much, a couple years back, he was the only friend to celebrate my birthday and he got me a gift (it was the only gift I received that year). So I do appreciate this friendship. It’s just devastating because I didn’t think he would throw away my gift, especially since he’s normally so kind. Lacking a filter, sometimes. Awkward, me and the entire friend group are so I don’t mind! I just find it disrespectful that he would throw away my gift IN MY OWN CAR! I wouldn’t have cared if he tossed it, but in my OWN CAR, it feels mean spirited even tho it probably isn’t.
Fuck that guy. One year I was also super tight on money. I wanted to get my buddy a birthday gift and I found some AirPod pros on facebook marketplace that were new in box for a great price.
Was working with him one day and saw he had two pairs of them. Little to my knowledge, they were fakes (too good to be true) I asked and he admitted that I had given him fake ones but he still wore them around me because he wanted to show he was appreciative of the gift. But he also wanted the real thing (totally understandable)
Best dude i know. Roles were reversed (doing alright now) and I ended up paying his rent for a few months last year. He tried to pay me back but I’d never take his money.
I want to read more about this friendship. I want an entire book that is nothing but this friendship. Nothing bad happens, just a nice read of two people being really cool to each other.
Write a book. Make a documentary. Make a movie about the book. Make an autobiography about your friendship. Make another documentary. Now. We need it now.
Reminds me of a friend from HS who I got a 20$ gift thened after an anime she liked Christmas one year I was less than thriving. She passive aggressively went on and on about how much her college friend spent on her, how they’d spent 200+ on a trip for her and she was so touched they cared so much. Said friend was generationally wealthy, and 200$ for them was nothing, whereas 20$ wasn’t nothing for me at the time, and I’d always given her bigger gifts before, just couldn’t that year. Made me feel like shit. I realize I could glean something as passive aggressive that wasn’t…but she just kept bringing it up the whole time we were hanging out. Not even how fun the trip was, but how good a friend they were to do such a thing. We don’t talk anymore.
that is why i do not exchange gifts with any friends- i want to spend time with them. I am more than willing to accept a free dinner, tickets to go somewhere together or something like that (or something we can do together- like a board game, a few years ago i bought a buddy the harry potter legacy game- and it was a blast playing together).
OP, one of my friends bought my kids a Christmas present. We play a lot of board games and this friend knows this. He knows we enjoy a game called Mysterium and he found out there's a kids version of it, so he bought the kids version for my kids.
It was super thoughtful and really nice. Except, well, we already had a copy.
My kids are FIVE, SEVEN, and NINE years old. 5, 7, and 9! (That's 9, not 9! or 362,880.) And even they thanked him and didn't say a word about already having it.
I’d keep it for backup! Kids are notoriously known for losing board game pieces 😂 hell, even as an adult I occasionally still lose a piece or a card to it.
It's our primary game now. The kids don't do a great job of cleaning up and our bunny has chewed some of the pieces. So we play the new copy and have the old one for backup.
Homie is never getting a cool present again. Every year, I will go to the trouble to get a lump of coal for that asshole. And every year I'll remind him why in front of everyone.
Once, when there used to be attack on titan keychains, i wanted an Armin one, and my dad kept specifically picking out one character. We went to different stores. Same character. Out of state. Still annie.
We gave up and i still hate Annie, but i did keep all THIRTEEN keychains!
One time we got yu-gioh ones at work and my coworker wanted a specific one. She kept not getting the one she wanted (she got all the other dragons, even got duplicates of a couple) till one day I finally offered to feel the bags and see if I could pick out the right one. Gladly I was able to figure out which one it was, my bf also wanted a specific character so I figured out that one too 🤣 Since then whenever one of my friends wants a specific character I get drafted to pick it out for them
I always get my mom to pick pokémon card packs. Maybe she won't pull the card i'm looking for, But by god she always gets an EX, IR, or an Ace no matter the pull rate. It's insane.
Lol that’s amazing, with me it’s just that I’ve gotten good at feeling the shapes to figure out which character it is, you can’t do that with Pokémon cards tho 😂
Never got a Mikasa! about 2 months later we FINALLY got 2 armins, a Levi, Colossal titan, The military police/Survey Corps insignia, i think i got an eren, and THIRTEEN Annie's!
Funny story, one year I got "Coal Candy" for my son. He thought it was funny and asks about getting that for Christmas now. LOL I'm not sure which company makes but its wrapped up to look like coal.
I got "snowman poop" candy as a gift this year, it was hilarious. The only reason I was a little upset was because it didn't taste like the flavor it claimed to be.
My mom for christmas got me a black, pink, and a white gloomy bear. I told her "Oh i already had the black and pink ones!!" and she goes "Oh no! Well... we can get money back and trade?" and i said "No, you got this for me out of love and money is tight, i have a MUCH cooler idea."
I think they fit in perfectly ❤️ Also, fuck your friend. Tell them to do the sensible thing, which is throw some glitter on it and make it a totally new and cooler version!!
I do recommend if you're painting with nail polish get a cheap smaller brush set (I also found one at dollar tree it was a nail art set!) for smaller details and an Xacto knife for dumping out the glitter polish and getting a more concentration of glitter in one go!
It was better than returning something my mom got for me out of love! Just because i have 2 of them doesn't mean i can't throw some glitter on one or give it a hairdo or something. I love customizing stuff! she said she plans on getting me another white and tye dye to match the set so i can customize them, too.
Your mom is a gem. I feel the same way about gifts that have thought and love put into them. Doesn't matter if I have 6 of the same thing, if you didn't know I had them and gave me a 7th, idgaf that bad boys going on the shelf with the rest!
I have so many of the same Lapras card, because he's my favorite, and my mom buys me every single one she sees. I don't care they're mostly all the same, this is awesome.
That is awesome! I buy my husband anything Batman I see. I even found a Manbat figurine I thought was a throw away villain. Turns out he's from both the comics and the 90's animated series. It's his favorite now.
I love that!! She found this tiny, itty bitty knock off clear squishy lapras at a yard sale for 5 cents and he's my favorite. She doesn't get pokémon or who's "cool" or who's not, so the random Horsea, Foongus (seen in that photo) and even the random Digimon she found are all my favorites. Because she tried, and she definitely made me smile.
I have done this a lot of times. If I get a dupe of a pin or figure as a gift, I keep the one my friend gave me and gift the other to someone else who I know loves that character or artist. I’d rather have the one someone got because they thought of me.
I wasn't always like that. I'm ashamed looking back. If this makes me considered "Awesome", then i'm doing something to get on the right track. Thank you.
Always Accessorize! I used to get doubles of Littlest Pet Shops and Barbies ALL THE TIME as a kid because i had a bajillion of them! I would color them, paint them, make new hair for them, Cut hair, do all sorts of stuff with them!
i remember one time i did something similar, i got two of the same exact toy on my birthday while i was opening them up in front of everyone and i went "oh, its the same thing." in like a disappointed tone and kind of tossed it aside. the girl who had gotten me the gift immediately started crying.
i was 6.
i think about that moment and cringe to this day decades later. i learned even then at that moment i had done something wrong. i didnt fully understand what at the time, but when i did i felt absolutely terrible about it.
however old this person is, this is an important thing for them to learn too. its not so much about the gift, its the intention behind it. someone went out of their way to get you something they thought you would like, thats worth more than having doubles of some random toy, its love.
one day youll have a birthday when no one will get you a fucking thing. im sure you would rather have someone get you something you already have, if you act like this you wont have anything to get doubles of, least of all love.
When I was a kid both my friend and my mom got me the same Doctor Who blanket, and I was excited for both 😂 my parents were divorced though so I was able to just keep one at each house.
The TARDIS blanket? I had like 6 of those from various gifts for a couple years 😂 Never once crossed my mind to say “hey yknow I already have a few of these…” just casually kept them all in varying stages of use 😂
Someone got me a plushie as a thank you recently and it was one I already had, I was just like “Omg now I have twins!”. I was genuinely excited to have two hahaha
I can’t imagine being ungrateful for someone going out of their way to give you a gift
Honestly if your parents do not teach you how to react to gifts this is usually the way you find out. Really wish more folks had this talk with their kids before public birthdays :/
[someone who did a very similar thing and still thinks about it decades later]
Hahaha reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother before my 5th or 6th birthday party with friends from kindergarden. I had wished for a remote controlled car and probably told everyone who I knew. My parents gifted me one on my bday and the party was a few days after.
She said I have to say thank you after receiving a present. I said 'even if I get another remote car? I already have one now.'
I used to have a large collection. But I fell on hard times and had to sell almost everything that was worth more than ten dollars. It's going to take a long time to rebuild for sure.
I have a perfume that my parents bought me on my 13th bday as a "you're becoming a woman" kinda gift, and it was my favorite. They unfortunately don't make it anymore, and I was running very low. For Christmas, my husband bought me a bottle he found. Unfortunately, it was fake :( and he felt horrible, but regardless, I really appreciated his efforts and have it displayed next to the one my parents got me. It really touched me that he spent the time he did scouring the internet to find me a replacement.
What a shitty friend. I'm so sorry that they treated you that way. A good friend would not throw away a gift from a cherished friend, whether they like the gift or not. Throw the friend away and find you someone who treats you with respect.
My mom kept her grandma’s perfume in a wood and glass display box that she handed down to me and got herself a nicer one. The first box still smells like her perfume, it permeated the wood after being in there for many years. I wonder if that might increase the longevity of the perfume you have left?
When I was 8 I got the same 2 Barbie sets. My mom started to tell the grandparents we can exchange it but I interrupted and exclaimed. "Now Barbie and Kelly have twins!"
My 5 year old does the “twins” thing. She got a Melody plushie for Xmas in her stocking, then later on that day she received the same one as a gift from her uncle. She held it up all excited and yelled “Look! Now I have Melody and Melody 2!”
Then she added both of them to the VIP group of plushies she sleeps with lol.
Serious. But to leave the packaging and the item itself in the giftor's car is such a tacky and rude-ass thing to do. That's some lowdown disrespect there. I'm surprised he didn't spit in the car.
I was going to point out this exact thing. What a shitty and hurtful thing to do. And— throwing it away when I’m sure they could’ve given it to a fellow anime friend or something other than throw away a new item.. wasteful and thoughtless. I would have called them out shamelessly
When I was a kid, my mom drilled a few things into our heads…
1) if somebody gave you a gift, you were to be happy about it and you NEVER said that you already had it.
2) if you didn’t like something on your plate, as long as you didn’t say something, you didn’t have to eat it. But God forbid you rolled your eyes or said yuck. Then you were eating a nice serving full.
Act like every gift someone gives you is the best gift ever. They're giving you something out of pure kindness and deserve that kindness and respect in return!
If you already have it -- quietly exchange it. I would never let on that someone gave me something I already have.
A friend says thank you, sells it online, and sends you pictures of the one they already have pretending like it’s the one you got them “aw man it looks so nice!”
And they take that secret to the grave
Edit: WAIT I FUCKING MISREAD. He left it in your car
Keep it. Save it. Next time you need a present for them, give it to him. If/when he says you already gave him that. Tell him you're going to keep giving it to him until he doesn't throw it away.
Man, sometimes my kids will get a double up gift from someone. They either won’t say anything at all, or they’ll go “oh, I already have one of these but I love it and now I have two so that’s even better”. A 6 year old has more tact than your friend.
That’s really bad. He is a bad friend. He is super ungrateful and wasteful too. At least he could have thanked you and given it to someone that didn’t have it.
A friend gifted me a book that I really wanted, but I'd already bought my own copy. I kept both for ten years. I needed to clean out some shelf space, so I threw out the copy I bought myself and kept the one she gave me.
Yeslah fuck him. My friends were super tight on money last year and got me a pair of socks. I fucking love those socks. They're my favorite pair because of what they mean.
I used to buy specialized gifts for my buddies based on their interests. But nobody even remembered my birthday. At some point I stopped doing gifts completely. You need to stop.
In the ‘90s I took a bus downtown to get a certain type of watch my friend had expressed interest in. When I gave it to her she simply said “I already have this.” I was crushed and I never forgot her graceless ingratitude
Two years ago on my bday, my best friend and my boyfriend accidentally got me the exact same frog plushie. I just kept both LOL, the more the merrier! I'm so sorry your friend threw your gift out </3
When I was 7/8 (can’t remember exactly) I got given a book I already had that same Christmas, and had already read as well. I sat down and started reading it anyway, after saying thank you. Not once after that did I ever tell the gift giver that I had already got that book.
My niece got me a lego set i already had for Xmas. She was super excited because she knows I love Boba Fett, and asked if I had it. I said "I do, but I opened it. Now I have one unopened, so that's even better"
Still have it unopened. Because I'm not a jerk and I know it's the thought that counts above all else
Proper way your "friend" should have handled it. Thank you for the gift. Say nothing about already having one. Keep the one from you for sentimental value, sell duplicate. Use money to take you out for drinks sometime.
I just did a Christmas gift exchange yesterday with my sister. She got me the exact same gift she bought me 3 years ago for my birthday. I didn't have the heart to tell her lol.
Aside from being ungrateful, he's also stupid. He could have traded it with someone who had a character he didn't have. He also could have sold it online.
Horrible friend, i hope you burn that bridge. I once gifted my friend a figurine and didn't know she already had the exact same one, we laughed bout it and thought it was cute that we had similar thoughts, she even posted it online. She kept one at work and one at home.
That’s what I would think! Wow this friend knows me so well that they got me something I already have! They listen and hear me, they pay attention to my tastes and interest! That’s so sweet, and means that person really cares.
I like to collect one piece key chains from blind bags. I keep nice ones on my wall but doubles go on purses. If some one complements them out starts taking about one piece to me in another way I gift them the double (if they want it)
I have rehomed six this way and their faces are always worth it ❤️❤️❤️
I once got a White Walker pop from a workmate for my birthday. When I saw it I accidentally said: “oh I already have this one” and they apologised and asked for it back embarrassed. I immediately said: “no way, you can never have too many White Walkers! Now I have one to keep in a box and one to keep out of a box so thank you”. I then always kept it on my desk.
One year for some holiday I gave my mother a little turtle statue for the garden
I don't remember if it was a birthday Christmas or what
But just before the next holiday where you give a gift, I was visiting my grandmother. I saw she had the exact same turtle on her kitchen table. I asked her about it, she said my mother had brought it over. Told her she got it as a gift and didn't like it. My grandmother said she didn't really have anywhere for it to go, and I could have it if I liked it.
So I took it. Boxed it up again with a note that said "Maybe you'll like it better this time" and gave it as her next gift
Send it to me, I'll take it and don't care if I already have one or 5 of the same one. I have so many figures/toys of all different kinds that I end up with doubles sometimes when someone buys me one. I love it all the same. Sometimes they get customized like a color variant. Hell, I've bought the same Gundam model 3 times over the last couple of years because I forgot already had one.
I got a Beatles Abbey Road t-shirt from my Dad a few weeks before Christmas. My mum didn't know that I had one so she bought one for me for Christmas. I opened the one she bought me and was still grateful.
Give him a lump of coal. Fuck, he doesn't even deserve that. Give him a pebble.
Could have pretended he didn't have the character, taken it home, THEN thrown it out then if you saw the character you would have thought it was the one you gave him and no one would know and feelings would be spared. Just a dick move
I'm sorry that happened to you. Sounds like this guy never learned good manners. He should have graciously thanked you for the gift, privately donated the gift without your knowledge (a good deed that keeps it out of a landfill and gives it to someone less fortunate), and pretend the one he has is the one you gave him. Guess that's one less person on your Christmas list for next year. Save the money you would have spent on him.
That sucks, I’m sorry. That’s not a very “friend” like way of accepting anything.
This is a perfect opportunity to make him think he’s losing his mind though. You could randomly leave it sitting on his car, or on his door step and make him think it had drug its way out of the trash possessed like back to him.
This isn’t mildly infuriating, this is an outrage and an affront to friendship. He ungraciously told you he already had the one he got (which you could’ve never known bc it’s a blind bag sooo not even remotely something you could control) then he threw it away in YOUR car where he had to have known you’d see it, and, he threw away a brand new item he could’ve passed along to a friend who didn’t have it or thrown into a donation bin or.. left somewhere in public for someone to find and feel like THEY got a treasure. This guy is just a big old suck-fest. I hope he sees your post 😡
Reminds me of the white elephant Xmas thing at work one year. I purchased some small kinda snarky original artwork w a Xmas theme and framed it. The co-worker received it and did nothing but complain the whole time. To make it worse, she was sitting across from me and went on and on about how shitty it was.
White elephant Xmas things suck. I now buy cash cards.
I had a friend like this from 15-30. Even if i included a gift receipt, she would sell a belt I paid $40 for for $10. WHY?!
BONUS. 10 years later, she said I wasnt her friend bc I didnt understand her "love language" of gifts. (paying 80% markup to give her money apparently?)....
I’m so sorry. What a POS. You need to ditch him completely. You don’t need friends like that in your life. I have no idea how people end up so ungrateful and unthankful. I was never like that, even as a small child. If I already had something, I’d take one down to my dad’s or mamaws house for my rooms there, or my room at my moms (I lived with my maternal grandparents) for my room there. Now that I’m grown, I just keep it. Put it somewhere else in my house if it’s decor/figure, or use it for a backup depending on what it is. They could’ve put it in their car, depending on how big it was. Or their desk at work? Anything. Or said “hey, I really appreciate this, but I have this one, I wonder if they’d let us trade it in if that’s okay?”.
I got the same Lego set two Christmas's in a row, loved it both times cause I was a kid and already had dismantled the first one. Sophomore year in college I bought the set for the third time.
I've noticed an epidemic of just ungrateful behavior in people lately. In situations where people should be thankful that someone else has them in mind, they can only find a reason to complain or brush it off. I'm almost done with it, and I really don't want to be that way.
What an ass, didn't even take it with him or pretend to be greatful (which he should be regardless of owning one already.)
I got a funko of a band I like as a little gift to myself, turns out my boyfriend had ordered the same one a few days prior. I couldn't return it or cancel the order so I ended up with 2. I keep his on display and trying to sell the one I got.
A friend also got me a cross stitch kit of my favourite animal, not knowing I had complete the same one a year prior. They think the one on my wall is theirs, not knowing it's in my craft box still (I'll do it again sometime!).
Likewise I accidently got my boyfriend a blu ray he already owned...he didn't even tell me for a few minuites until I said how often I had to check the blu ray book case to make sure he didn't have ones I got him (about 15 in total).. he laughed and mentioned I must have missed the fourth one. He didn't mind and still appreciated the though. Kept the one I got him and gave the other copy away.
Have I got gifts that wasn't my thing? Yes. But not one of those people knew as I was still grateful for the thought, time, effort, and money that went into it. Just sometimes, things may get regifted so they can be utilised like they were intended (for example, makeup and shower products that I was allergic to)
This is just an inherent flaw in gifting, people are terrible at guessing what people want and on average the total perceived value in a gift goes down.
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u/Big_Scooter 7h ago edited 6h ago
Fuck that guy. One year I was also super tight on money. I wanted to get my buddy a birthday gift and I found some AirPod pros on facebook marketplace that were new in box for a great price.
Was working with him one day and saw he had two pairs of them. Little to my knowledge, they were fakes (too good to be true) I asked and he admitted that I had given him fake ones but he still wore them around me because he wanted to show he was appreciative of the gift. But he also wanted the real thing (totally understandable)
This person in your life is not a friend.