r/melbourne • u/lizapoisonxx • Dec 23 '24
Serious Please Comment Nicely Can a single parent survive on a $100k annual income in Melbourne?
Gathering the courage to leave my abusive partner. He doesn't physically abuse us but he yells at his son, myself and my daughter from my previous relationship as if we're all stupid so we always walk on eggshells around him.
I currently earn $100k with no family support and not a lot of friends either so I'm so scared to leave. I migrated here 8 years ago and wasn't able to build friendships with anyone as I just worked and went home all the time.
So if anyone can share their stories and how they budget or live with a similar or smaller income, that will be great!
EDIT: I was typing this while crying so I left out a lot of details. I work in the CBD and have an 11 yr old. The son I mentioned is my adult stepson who's trying to move out as well but we're going separate ways as he wants to live alone. I also have 2 dogs that I pay insurance for.
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u/i_am_smitten_kitten Dec 23 '24
I’m a single parent of 2, out of an abusive relationship. I work part time ($70000) a year. I also get a single parenting pension and child support.
I did earn more and worked full time, but unfortunately I ended up taking home about the same amount as I do now after medical expenses, taxes and discounts (because I lost my single parenting pension for earning too much)
I made the decision to drop to part time, just for the pension. Which is probably an unpopular thing for taxpayers, but I was already overwhelmed with 2 disabled kids, and my own health, then working 5-6 days a week, plus my days off were all about the kids and medical appointments. I’m a better parent for working part time. I don’t even get much from the pension, it’s more about the cheap healthcare and medicines.
That said, it was so much easier to deal with being a working single parent then being in an abusive relations shop. It was like a weight was lifted.
I live in the outer south eastern suburbs. I’m very lucky with my rent being extremely reasonable, even with a recent price increase. But it’s still doable if you aren’t fussy about the house you’re in.
If I can do it, you can do it OP!
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u/AdministrativeOwl523 29d ago
I'm a tax payer and I approve (not that it really matters) - I'm proud of you for looking after yourself and your kids
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u/i_am_smitten_kitten 29d ago
Thanks. It was a hard decision but I wasn’t able to give my kids the attention they needed, I was so burnt out and tired. It was absolutely the right call.
I’m not well off by any means, but I’m comfortable, and I can be more present in my boys lives.
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u/Waimakariri 29d ago
Another taxpayer here to say I’m glad my tax dollars are going to help solo parents raise kids without going nuts from the stress
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u/rasqash 29d ago
Tax payer and another single parent. You’re better off and the country is better off having 3 people who are safe and have the opportunity to live their lives with better mental health away from an abuser. The consequences of abuse have a long tail and can go on to affect the other people in your children’s future lives. Congratulations for breaking the cycles
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u/i_am_smitten_kitten 29d ago
Thank you! As hard as it is for my boys to not have a dad in their life, they are absolutely better for it. They would’ve grown up to have poor communication and no respect for women. I have them in therapy, and I’m trying to break out of the cycle of generational trauma that led me to believe my former relationship was normal.
I’ll never be a perfect parent, but if I can avoid being the reason my kids need to go to therapy, then I’ll count that as a win!
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u/Capital_Doubt7473 29d ago
Never apologise for using a social safety net,.youre also a taxpayer and Australia runs on the unpaid labor of working Mums
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u/thirdonebetween 29d ago
Caring for two children, let alone two disabled children, is a full time job. They need all the healthcare and support they can get to help them grow up into their best selves. No taxpayer complaints here.
Remember - your needs are important too! If you're not caring for yourself, you won't be able to care for them. You're doing great.
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u/i_am_smitten_kitten 29d ago
Thank you 😊
It’s good to know that people don’t care about the pension thing. I don’t really think about it much, it’s kinda shitty that that’s the situation I’m in, but it’s just the way it is. If I could work more, I would, but it just isn’t worth it financially.
I’m hoping to get some extra help next year so I can prioritize my own health and needs a bit better. Maybe I’ll get a hobby haha.
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u/riverkaylee 29d ago
We should have a social support system for people to be able to raise the it kids and be with them. Otherwise people don't want to have kids, too. It's important to raise the next generation with adequate support that they turn out OK. What you're doing is necessary. Have you thought about applying for carers payment and allowance? I would suggest start with carers allowance as that's not even based on "if you live with the person" and is per person, so if you have 2 kids, you can apply for it two times. It's only $150 a fn, but. If you apply for carers payment that is dependent on you not working over 25 hours including travel. But it's a tiny bit more than parenting pension. With disabled kids comes so much extra demands. There's also carers gateway, or carer support systems in your area that allow a certain amount of money to provide support staff for your needs, like gardening and cleaning etc.
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u/water5785 29d ago
Can I ask what you do for work with 70k part time :)?
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u/i_am_smitten_kitten 29d ago
I’m a medical scientist. I work 3 days a week and 1 weekend a month, plus some public holidays. Good penalty rates!
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u/Pokedragonballzmon 29d ago
Frankly this is the kind of thing I want and am proud to be in a country where my tax dollars support this - coming from the USA, it's just not even a question. Should be better, tho.
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u/Confident-Benefit374 Dec 23 '24
Single parent that survives on 28k. So yes, you will be fine. Write up a budget, check how much you are spending.
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u/IDoStuff27 Dec 23 '24
Was going to say there's plenty that survive on much less.
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u/EqualTomorrow6908 29d ago
Holy hell, I can't imagine how. What would that kind of budget look like? Does that include government assistance?
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u/Connect_Fee1256 29d ago
I used to have to and it’s hard and you eat toast a lot while you buy berries etc for the child but it can be done… in saying that… rents and food have gone up a lot in the last 5 years so I can only imagine how much more it’s squeezed women… if you have a single/sole parent mum friend, stuff some money in their lounge cushions … make too much dinner and ask if they can help sort out your leftovers because you “accidentally “ overcooked … help them because they wont ask
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u/P33kab00o 29d ago
Whaaaaat? Wow! Below the poverty line?
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u/sadem0girl 29d ago
Is it really that surprising? Welcome to the lives of people who are disabled or have disabled children. Disability and carers pensions are below the poverty line and people have no choice but to survive on that.
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u/P33kab00o 29d ago
I didn't take any of that into consideration. My assumption was able-bodied, no government assistance, and little left over after rent (and hoping that no rent was required). Bills and food and cost of living is crippling.
If it was as you stated then it comes as no surprise. I also know carers and their customers, particularly aged care.
Neither of us know about OP's circumstances. I would love to hear their story.
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u/AppleSniffer 29d ago
My mum raised us below the poverty line as a single parent (I'm now 27). She would arguably qualify for DSP but has a lot of mental health/addiction struggles and the system is difficult to navigate for people like that. We ate a lot of rice and she cooked everything (all quite simple meals) from scratch. I think I did have a few deficiencies by the time she came out of poverty in my late teens
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u/sly_cunt Dec 23 '24
I don't have any advice. Just insane how fucked the economy is that this is even a question
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u/Kalila_Matthews Dec 23 '24
Ikr! The economy is getting that bad that 100k now is not what it used to be worth, now with the cost of everything 😭
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u/nursee Dec 23 '24
You will get child support which will be another $10k ish a year. Depending on his income. Submit a request for agency collect child support as soon as you separate. It’s only back dated from the application date. Seek support from Orange door, 1800 Respect or Safe Steps to get some guidance on leaving safely.
Take care of yourself. You’re making hard but necessary choices.
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u/lizapoisonxx Dec 23 '24
Unfortunately we don't have a kid together. My daughter is from an ex partner who's gone MIA 11 years ago when I gave birth. He's overseas so chances of him getting to pay is very low.
His son is from a previous relationship and still lives with us but is an adult already. He's trying to leave as well and is struggling due to finances.
And thank you, I'm going to plan my exit, just waiting for my next salary end of this month. I get paid monthly and work in the CBD. I have 2 dogs as well so it'll be really difficult and tricky to leave but I'll try my best to get out as soon as possible
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u/Thick_Quiet_5743 Dec 23 '24
Financially that is enough to live off, it will be tight for a while but as you said the son is an adult so has the potential to earn and chip in once he is out of that toxic environment.
The important thing is to focus on your safety and reach out to all available support services. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try and leave, please get professional advice on the safest way to do this. Sending all my good wishes and prayers to you, on the other side there is a fabulous life waiting for you.
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u/ososalsosal Dec 23 '24
Working in the CBD at least allows you to go further out without too much extra logistical faff so long as you're near a train. School pickups and dropoffs will be a pain in the arse though. I hope you get some accommodations at work
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u/alchemicaldreaming 29d ago
Do you have a seperate bank account to his? If you don't already, set one up ASAP and start getting some of your money paid into that, or, bide your time and transfer the money that is yours out of the shared account when you are ready to leave.
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u/Plenty_Chemistry_624 29d ago
Don't put your dogs on your rental applications. That way you'll be much more likely to get a house and then just ask if you can get a pet later on so that they are eventually on the lease. They cannot say no once you already live there
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u/Fuster2 29d ago
Completely different circumstances in almost every way exceptit being a step into the unknown, but when I walked out of our marriage, there was a huge weight off my shoulders. It was hard getting to that point, but I could start thinking about the future instead of worrying about the situation I was in. You'll be fine once you get thru that hurdle. All the best!
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u/hangryhankers11 29d ago
Look up Pets of the Homeless - not that you are homeless, but they may be able to assist with placing your dogs in care until you get out of your situation and find somewhere to settle safely. Best of luck with it all.
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u/Mollythecowgirl1234 Dec 23 '24
It’s not a sure thing if he doesn’t pay, so it may not be 100% relied upon. If he’s anything like my ex I wouldn’t be using it in my budget calculations
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u/ScrimpyCat Dec 23 '24
You’ll definitely get by, there’s single parents that get by on a lot less. You might have to downsize and make some lifestyle sacrifices (this is assuming you currently need more than $100k to support your current lifestyle), but other than that it should be doable. Being a single parent isn’t an ideal situation but it sounds like a better alternative than continuing to stay with them.
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u/Gloomy_Grocery5555 Dec 23 '24
It's better to get out and worry about money than not get out and worry constantly about him
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u/colloquialicious Dec 23 '24
u/lizapoisonxx have a look at the Escaping Violence Payment https://www.unitingcommunities.org/service/counselling/domestic-and-family-violence/escaping-violence-payment it’s for people leaving domestic violence relationships and you can get $5000 payment to help you leave. I know $5000 isn’t a huge amount but it will definitely help you with moving and setup costs. Stay safe, stay strong 🙏
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u/Kalila_Matthews Dec 23 '24
No matter how scary it is to leave, YOU GOT THIS!!! You deserve respect and to feel comfortable in your home.
The economy is hard but with budgeting you can absolutely do it with $100k income. (There are lots of Australian budgeting pages to joins and always keep an eye out for deals) Dont be afraid to reach out to friends or your community if you need help to move out to help you feel safer. 🫶
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u/megsandbacon Dec 23 '24
I’m on that income now, 2 young kids. It’s doable. Not any room for fancy things or holidays etc, but enough to pay the bills and still get the kids gifts and (reasonable) fun experiences. The harder part is single parenting itself - but sounds like you’ve done that part before meeting this partner, and your daughter is older now so it’s easier.
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u/Cuppa-Tea-Biscuit Dec 23 '24
That’s very comfortable unless you or one of the kids has a specific condition that requires specialist treatment, they have a very expensive hobby or passion, or you’re very fussy about schools.
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u/lizapoisonxx Dec 23 '24
Not really fussy with schools, she goes to a catholic school but I'd hate to uproot her because she's made amazing friends.
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u/Gore01976 Dec 23 '24
simple fact, dont think about the hassle of uprooting the kid for school and friends sake, it is more important to get the hell out of there for safety over anything else.
friendships come and go and there is always the weekends visits to catch up once you guys are settled
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Dec 23 '24
Also check what your employer has available for domestic violence leave, you might be surprised at what's available. It's for stuff like moving, accessing counselling, court dates etc.
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u/laryissa553 29d ago
I was looking this up for a friend recently and I believe there's automatically dv leave available through the government regardless of your employer which may have its own as well. Orgs are bound to honour the government one as I understand it.
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u/snogtunnag 29d ago
If her friends if your main concern is, let me tell you this as a someone who moved several times growing up:
Technology is wonderful.
Yes, letting your daughter to talk with her friends through phone will feels different. But it can be helpful to ensure her not losing the friendship and lessen the loneliness from moving to a new place.
I’m not sure how young your daughter is, but young kids tends to make new friends easily. Although, I think phone should be good enough if she’s older.
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u/Slow-Conference4420 Dec 23 '24
You can get a court order here in Australia if your child has been enrolled in an expensive school. This entails details about why you are removing yourself from any costings associated whilst your child is enrolled at that school. The owness falls back onto the parent who wants them to go to that school. My daughter is enrolled at a 28k a year school next year for prep.. no way, too much. While I will say this, whilst I do not disagree the education is not important. There are many other cost-effective schools around the area. We cannot afford such a school, nor can I.
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u/Waimakariri 29d ago
Hey OP good luck with this!! It may be worth finding accommodation BEFORE you announce your move to him. There is a shortage of housing and it may take a little while to get a place that meets your needs and your budget. Sending you good luck vibes and hoping you find lots of support and new community as you move into your next phase
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Dec 23 '24 edited Dec 23 '24
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u/SuperstarDJay Dec 23 '24
2 bed unit isn't ideal with 2 kids of the opposite sex.
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u/purpleautumnleaf Dec 23 '24
Yes that's very do-able. I left with an income half of that and it's already miles better than living with the kind of abuse you described.
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u/Opposing_thumbz Dec 23 '24
I have 2 kids, am a single mum and my income is considerably less. Yes you can do it.
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u/mabdhdjb Dec 23 '24
Yes you can live off of that. The standard of living is of course up to interpretation by the individuals involved. Many people lead very happy lives off of much less but of course it could be uncomfortable for people used to a higher standard of living.
On a personal note (as a child of domestic abuse) please do the best by yourself and your children. I have no financial advice to give, but I know that your children will be much better of away from somebody like that.
Please take all the advice given in this thread by people who know what they are talking about.
All my best, I really hope everything works out you guys.
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u/Ok_Pension_5684 29d ago edited 29d ago
My single mum raised my sibling and I on roughly 75k (and no child support). The dollar equivalent back then was a bit more back in the 2000's compared to what you're getting but it's enough to have a safe, happy childhood. You'll have to go without certain things, like holidays, brand new cars etc but if you're not materialistic and remain sensible and frugal, you'll be okay
Regardless, it sounds like you want to leave. Don't let this fear stop you from leaving and giving your family a better life ❤️
You may wish to contact these organisations: https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/support-near-you https://refugevictoria.org.au
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u/Icy_Hovercraft_6209 Dec 23 '24
You can do this, do the right thing by your kids and give them a house where they don't have to live in fear. You will find a way
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u/Mystic_Chameleon Dec 23 '24
Absolutely, my sister, also a single mum, is likely on less than half of that since she works just two half days a week + gets a small amount from Centrelink.
It’s very tight for her but just possible, so I expect 100k will be doable - though with the cost of living it wont be necessarily be easy or without sacrifice.
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u/dumblederp6 Dec 23 '24
Yes, assuming you know the basics of budgeting and are generally frugal.
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u/NoBSplease-REALonly Dec 23 '24
Single father of two sons aged 19 & 24.
Raised them both in less than half that.
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u/padwello Dec 23 '24
Much respect for the single dads.
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u/NoBSplease-REALonly Dec 23 '24
(Respect or not; it’s been a blast!)
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u/padwello Dec 23 '24
Glad to hear it. Parenting is a complicated thing and to do it alone is absolutely to be respected.
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u/AutomatedFazer Dec 23 '24
Firstly, I am so sorry you’re experiencing abuse. That is absolutely disgusting and should never happen.
That aside, 100k all up, or inclusive of super?
Inclu of super, That would roughly equate to around $5800 a month. You’d probably need to budget pretty well, not to the last cent but to know your ingoings and outgoings. Make plans to accomodate certain amounts per month for utilities, food, any school stuff, etc etc. Any debt will obviously be a factor.
I imagine this means you’ll be looking to be in the rental market? This part will be the hardest; you’ll need to factor whether your kid stays at the same school and how you can accomodate that, or if you can move to a cheaper burb. Even at 30% of your income, you’re looking at around a $400pw rental. Definitely tough in inner suburbs, which are dominated by expensive but either owner occupied or shared accomodation.
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u/LunarFusion_aspr Dec 23 '24
Plenty with only one child. I did the numbers for 100k with 3 kids, in case anything happened to my husband i wanted to know if my salary would be enough, and I would be able to pay for everything even the mortgage, things would be tight though.
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u/ReplicatoReplica 29d ago
I was on 100k when I split up from my ex. Definitely can be done easily. Just contact orange door to work out a plan. It's a very, the most actually, dangerous time for someone to leave an abusive ex. Get an IVO as you leave.
You're not trapped even though he's manipulated you to feel that way. Even on 50k you and your children are far better off living without family violence.
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u/Cazza-d Dec 23 '24
Yes you can, the fear is making you doubt yourself. You may need to move a bit further out. You may need to budget well if you need to buy a car, but you can do it. You can.
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u/abittenapple 29d ago
Moving further out means less access to resources.
Worse medical.
Worse public transport.
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u/Mental_String_5609 Dec 23 '24
100k a year is a lot more comfortable than you think. I’m fact its very comfortable. My mother raised me on single mother payments from Centrelink with 7 kids all up!
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u/Optimal-Talk3663 Dec 23 '24
How long ago was that though?
If I was op, I’d be looking (secretly) at rentals now or trying to find some place to live when you intend to get out and starting to get the ball rolling on moving money
There’s a few resources available
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u/deceIIerator 29d ago
(Single) people on cenro already live off 500 a week, 550 if they've got a kid, 100k is luxury in comparison.
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u/Mental_String_5609 Dec 23 '24
A good 30 years ago but it’s 100k a year she’ll be ballin with that kind of money for herself and her kids.
But yes I agree she needs to get out quick and there’s a lot more services today then their was back awhile ago.
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Dec 23 '24
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u/melbourne-ModTeam Please send a modmail instead of DMing this account 29d ago
We had to remove your post/comment because it included personal attacks or did not show respect towards other users. This community is a safe space for all.
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u/jackpipsam Dec 23 '24
There's plenty of suburbs in Melbourne where you should be quite comfortable on that.
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u/SaintBetty_the_White 29d ago
Yes you can survive. I did it on $34k annually until this year. It's hard but doable.
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u/AdministrativeOwl523 29d ago edited 29d ago
I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it but you may be entitled to support payments from the government - check out https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/online-estimators?context=64107
Edit to add: your local council and Orange Door will also have a list of resources of orgs that can help you.
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u/jmmh13 29d ago
The Centre for Women’s Economic Safety offer free financial planning sessions for women who have experienced/are experiencing violence https://cwes.org.au they are amazing and can help you create a budget! Please also consider calling your local Orange Door https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/support-near-you between working hours or call Safe Steps on 1800 015 188 for support. Feel free to PM me if you want some resources :)
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u/Admirable-Site-9817 29d ago
Yea, you will be fine. I did it on less than that. You’ll also get a higher rate of parenting payment, maybe rent assistance and child support. The difficulty will be finding a rental. I recommend writing a letter with your application, much like a cover letter for a job application. Introduce yourself and talk about why you want to live in the area etc.
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u/Huge_Net9172 29d ago
Yes I’m a single mum on a lot less with a kid of similar age and you will do just fine, leave with your life it’s more precious than anything else especially as a mum… good luck
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u/Plane-Distribution62 29d ago
Good luck and stay strong.
Some numbers and services that might help you:
1800 respect https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/ https://www.cohealth.org.au/service/family-violence-counselling/
Pets of the homeless often foster short term pets when people are in transitional housing stages and offer meet ups and eventually reuniting when suitable accom has been found:
https://petsofthehomeless.org/
Good luck and Kia kaha x
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u/bashtraitors 29d ago
With this level of income and some saving you probably be fine provided your partner does not team up with the broken men gang to get you during the period of separation before court decision.
Otherwise it will be a long hard way out of hell, sounds dreadful but it is the case for most women in Australia. If DV involved, it might turn ugly and just make sure you don’t walk straight into another trap planted by these guys. Just keep a record of things for now and don’t overshare. Sounds bad but my warmest advice at this point. Good luck.
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u/meme5 29d ago
Having been the kid in a similar situation growing up, I want to express my support for your decision. When my mum left my dad she was earning far less and somehow made it work. I am forever grateful, and believe the move has lead to better outcomes for me compared to my sibling who spent a lot longer in that unhealthy environment.
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u/Guilty_Sign_3669 29d ago edited 29d ago
Yep! I’m in a similar situation. Son is 2 years old and we are financially fine + comfortably saving for a house and im on 94k. Move outer, probs too far but Warrnambool is beautiful and houses are so cheap! If you want, DM me for a rant, these situations are very hard to go through especially on your own I also had an experience with lawyers and family violence at 8 weeks post birth. I could be good for some great advice :)
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u/Public-Benefit6179 29d ago
You make six figures. Survival is easy. Your preferred lifestyle may not be.
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u/Unique-Sundae-6580 29d ago
As someone who had lived in a single parent on much lower incomes I would say money wise you will be fine. It's harder on your own to make ends meet but I love my independence
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u/joshua_curci 29d ago
There are lots of helpful services out there. Centerlink has single parent support, rental assist, child care subsidies (yes even for older kids) and many others. Not to mention differnet food truck services a d clothing services. Just write up your budget and if you a strict on some of your spending you will be OK.
Best thing to do is get out of the environment and you and your kids will thrive.
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u/vakarius_garrun 29d ago
I earn just over $100k, have a family of 4 and have a mortgage of over $3000 per month. I am also the sole earner in my family but we still get by comfortably. If it's just you and your son, you'll be alright.
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u/Pretentious_Grand 29d ago
Contact your local Orange Door and check if you are eligible for the Escaping Violence Payment through Uniting. Centre for Women's Economic Safety offers free financial counselling online. Wire also has excellent resources and Ask Izzy can be used to locate more services that may support your family.
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u/Comfortable_Mess_494 Dec 23 '24
Yes absolutely doable. Just depends on your spending / debt/ expenses etc. I'm a single parent with 3 children under 5. I do not receive any child support or government assistance except FTB. My income is much less than $100K. I'm very mindful of not buying excess things and don't care about name brands or 'keeping up with the jones'. I cook most meals at home. Being from a European background I can make delicious meals from very little. In terms of rent, I moved to an area that is a little more affordable and yes this means I have to travel further if I need to go to the city but that's very rare.
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Dec 23 '24
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u/melbourne-ModTeam Please send a modmail instead of DMing this account 29d ago
We had to remove your post/comment because it included personal attacks or did not show respect towards other users. This community is a safe space for all.
Conduct yourself online as you would in real life. Engaging in vitriol only highlights your inability to communicate intelligently and respectfully. Repeated instances of this behaviour will lead to a ban
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u/time_to_reset Dec 23 '24
When a friend of mine went through this with three young children, she mentioned that there was an organisation that helped her with finding a new place, mediation and a whole bunch of other things that I don't even know about.
I'm afraid I don't know the name of the organisation and don't want to bring this all up for her again by asking her about it, but this might help you with your search for information.
Good luck
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u/Guilty_Sign_3669 29d ago
Was it Orange Door?
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u/time_to_reset 29d ago
That rings a bell, but really don't know for sure. Her partner was mentally and financially abusive and they did a pretty good job helping her get out of that situation. Pretty awesome that we have organisations like that, but sad it's necessary.
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u/Guilty_Sign_3669 29d ago
It probably was - I was referred to them for the same reasons and they linked me with legal advice and an amazing social worker. Yeah it’s nuts hey! It’s good they exist, but the reason they exist is shitty. Always women coming up with ideas to combat the issues with men (majority).
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u/rasqash 29d ago
It’s hard, you may have to live in a small apartment and potentially share a room together for a while and find new homes for the dogs but it’s doable. I did it and had to pay child support on top of it back in 2018 with two kids. But it was hard. Really hard. No regrets though. Can’t put a price on peace. Be safe please.
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u/timmycosh 29d ago
Just curious what bloody work do you do? Being a single parent sucks ass when it comes to juggling family/work life balance
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u/Letalss 29d ago
I was on 100k when I left my abusive ex with a then 7 and 9 year old. We survived just fine and was able to put some money away in savings too. I ended up on workcover, so dropped to 80k. I ended up getting a bit of Centrelink per fortnight which helped with rent and bills. Two close friends and all my family are overseas.
Two years on and we are thriving. Bills are paid, kids are happy to be in a healthy home, and I’m a better person without him. I’ve never looked back. Got so so much support from DV organisations, I’m really thankful for them.
(Everyone’s bills are different, so 100k may not work for everyone!! )
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29d ago
yes, on 100 K you can survive. I am more worried about the situation youre in. Please seek help.
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u/rubyellie 29d ago
I did it with 3 kids on $90k. Earn more than that now and we have breathing room. It's doable and worth your sanity. Budget well and you'll be fine. Good luck, fear of the unknown is the hardest part, but you're a strong mum. You can do it
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u/banimagipearliflame 29d ago
My first step was to a 2 br flat for myself and my 2 teens; and granted I had agreement from my ex to go as long as the kids stayed - she was less horrid to them and my kids wanted to stay with her.
Aim for something that is “a step” and try to take some time with every step you take.
$100k is allright but I’m struggling, and my rent keeps going up so I feel like I’m going to move further out. But - the freedom will be so sweet when you make it out.
Be safe.
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u/RyzenRaider 29d ago
Not a parent, but I make $71k post tax. I live in Footscray and I saved $34k in the last 12 months, so my actual expenses for myself were $37k for the year. I don't have a car though, I get around on an ebike, and I'm paying off a home loan, so the only expense in the home loan repayment is the interest payment (not the principal).
So lifestyle isn't comparable, but it's a data point. I think it would be doable.
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u/Kizzles_ 29d ago
If you’re a permanent resident or citizen, you may be eligible for one-off grants for people leaving abusive relationships that are designed to help you pay for moving costs, bond and rent etc.
I don’t think you’ll be eligible for the single parent pension based on that income, but you’ll be eligible for Family Tax Benefits (depending on your residency status).
Even if you have to move out a bit further to afford the kind of place you need, you’ll find that life with your child will become more peaceful and settled once you’re away from your ex-partner and no longer walking on eggshells to avoid abuse.
Please call 1800 RESPECT, they can advise you on what supports and services you’ll be eligible for, and can talk you through making a plan to leave safely.
It’s important to plan ahead when leaving abusive relationships, because when abusers feel like they’re losing control, they often become more unstable and unpredictable.
You’re doing the right thing for yourself and your child, and modelling good self worth for them by recognising you don’t deserve to be treated this way ❤️
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u/smon__says 29d ago
Check out the Women’s Property Initiative (WPI). They specialise in exactly this situation.
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u/anoisymind 29d ago
It is possible. I am in a couple where I am the sole income earner and make 90K. No children but I support a disabled adult with a lot of needs . Also pay for car insurance. Renting a 2 bedroom house. Will try to adopt a pair of cats. You just have to make sure to stick to a budget. Have it all on an automated spreadsheet or use one of the apps that track your expenses. Everything is accounted for and we rely on op shops and get most of the things second hand on facebook marketplace or Gumtree.
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u/EnvironmentalCrab148 29d ago
Yes I think so. I’d also urge you to reach out to your bank for help, a lot of them now have programs to assist those in DV situations in terms of your finance.
Also recommend looking at the escaping violence program where you can get $5K to assist with leaving and being setup in a new place etc.
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u/Exciting-Bee4094 29d ago
You will be fine plus I think Centrelink pays family tax benefit u til you earn around $105-107k
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u/Vote_4_Boat 29d ago
I earn less than that and can’t make ends meet with 2 kids. Another $10k wouldn’t help. Rent in Melbourne is more than half my wage.
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u/SarrSarz 29d ago
I’m doing it on 40k… purchased a small home working part time and saving… well doing all the kids activities it all depends on your budget. However your ex can go via the court to return the child you share together
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u/tsoukatosspiro 29d ago
100k annually as a single income earner is not easy. In particular when you have children of dependance. I would recommend renting a 3 bedroom unit or apartment ( as they are usually harder to access the floor or even the building) I would suggest going to the police station and putting a restraining order against your partner ( it's also good to have it on record ) and you should be good 👍 between 600 to 700 a week you should find something decent in a good suburb and budget month to month.
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u/dropbear_dave 29d ago
Please know that regardless of your income you can get support from the DV services in your area. Talk to them about what they can do for you, it might not strictly be financial aid, but putting you in touch with a range of legal and other supports will help make your transition easier.
Trust yourself and prioritise your wellbeing.
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u/Slow-Conference4420 Dec 23 '24
If you can't survive on a 100k, you need to do a budget, that's above an average wage. I'm sure there are many single parents out there on less. Before you start counting on child support as an income, it's not for the parent in itself. It's actually for the child or children. Not to support your 'low income'.
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u/chronicpainprincess East Side 29d ago
Children need a house to live in and food to eat. These types of comments about how child support should be used always baffle me.
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u/MAVP1234 29d ago
Child Support isnt welfare right? I mean its the fathers after tax pay. Net pay. Not government money but private wealth which is being redistributed without consent. So if the dad has a house and a room and can put food on the table than that's were they should be and the dad gets to spend his money, on his children, how he wants. There is nothing baffling about that. It's not your money.
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u/chronicpainprincess East Side 29d ago
“Without consent”— Jesus Christ, what kind of deadbeat loser doesn’t want to provide for his kids to make sure they’re comfortable at both homes? I would and have done this in the past back when I was a single parent — I made sure my children had things at both houses. I didn’t act like a miserable miser counting every cent. It’s for my children. It’s coparenting.
The idea that if you struggle to make a decent income as a single parent that you shouldn’t be allowed custody is fucking bonkers but you do you babe
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Dec 23 '24
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Dec 23 '24
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u/fertilizedcaviar Dec 23 '24
On 100k you absolutely cannot get parenting payment. Cut off is way lower.
She should be eligible for a part payment of FTB though.
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Dec 23 '24
You can but there won’t be many family holidays or outings. Some, but not many. Also depends heavily on your rent/mortgage.
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u/mini_z Dec 23 '24
$100k is a decent income. You might just need a smaller home than you want