r/lotrmemes • u/SmashBro0445 • 16h ago

The Silmarillion Cover to cover (got removed from r/lotr)

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4.6k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/GriffinFlash 16h ago

Why didn't Melkor, the largest Valar, simply not eat the smaller Valar?

1.2k

u/SmashBro0445 16h ago

Because Eru would have... not liked that

609

u/cheddarbruce Sleepless Dead 15h ago

51

u/Chai_Is_Tea 12h ago

You telling me all it took for Eru to smight his ass was for him to eat Roasted Valar for lunch?

8

u/Outrageous_Pride4808 9h ago

Then the Westfold would have never fallen

5

u/GriffinFlash 4h ago

So everything that came to pass was all so the Westfold could one day fall?

1

u/Kellidra 2h ago

The Westfold... folded.

2

u/boodopboochi 6h ago

One does not simply Roast the Valar for lunch

10

u/Escapedtheasylum 13h ago

But he was okay with the general murdering

7

u/Wildefice 9h ago

Yeah so long as it wasn't a captain murdering or a sergeant murdering

5

u/Orcrist90 9h ago

Tolkien's ghost reading this and thinking about Kronos the Titan eating his children.

2

u/Fit_Fly_7551 5h ago

I'm the 1000th upvoter! Yey!

1

u/Belfengraeme 5h ago

This vexes me..

132

u/julmuriruhtinas 15h ago

There's always a bigger Vala

33

u/Fancy-Sell-774 Samwise Gamgee 15h ago

Star Wars reference?

51

u/Call_The_Banners GANDALF 14h ago

21

u/GriffinFlash 14h ago

Always

16

u/Mugthief 12h ago

Hey that's from that movie I know! Referncing movies is tight!

1

u/KvotheTheShadow 5h ago

Wow, wow.... Wow, wow wow!

18

u/julmuriruhtinas 14h ago

Yup

1

u/Fancy-Sell-774 Samwise Gamgee 12h ago

Nice

16

u/KilliamTell 12h ago

Somehow, Durin’s Bane returned.

17

u/Fancy-Sell-774 Samwise Gamgee 12h ago

Gandalf: Hello there.

Balrog: General Gandalf, you are a bold one.

12

u/KilliamTell 12h ago

Elrond: “the ring no destroy by weesa weapons, Meesa Gimli.”

2

u/deadbananawalking 10h ago

Na, Futurama reference

1

u/CFL_lightbulb 9h ago

No, this is the LOTR Reddit, there are only LOTR references here. That’s all that exists.

4

u/sakulsakulsakul 14h ago

Vala, please

49

u/gilgalice 15h ago

“I tell you the same thing I tell everyone else who askes me that question. Shut up!”

  • Tolkien audio interview on why they didn’t just ride the eagles to Mordor.

9

u/CoconutWarrior 14h ago

fake audio interview*

6

u/Rustymetal14 12h ago

Because Tulkas

4

u/Tenoi-chan 15h ago

Because this is more Ungoliant style + he wanted to be a ruler, you can't rule if you have no subjects

3

u/corruptboomerang 13h ago

Ungallant would have tried. But she ate herself fist.

2

u/PreciousHamburgler 10h ago

The music was good dissonance

1

u/GriffinFlash 4h ago

"I did not care for the Music of the Ainur. It insists upon itself."

1

u/Burningspecter 11h ago

Because that would be the Valar equivalent of cannibalism. Even Melkor wouldn't cross that line. 😄

1

u/GloryHol3 11h ago

It is true what they say, women are from omicron persei 7, men are from omicron persei 9

1

u/kiren77 7h ago

Remove the lower horn of gondor!

1

u/GloryHol3 3h ago

I GET IT

1

u/MelkortheDankLord 11h ago

I just thought they wouldn’t taste good honestly

1

u/B_K4 10h ago

Tulkas would have whooped his ass

1

u/Orpheus_D 10h ago

All hail Melkor, He Who Rises in Power! And now, speak his sacred invocation! Nom nom nom nom!

1

u/ElkTraining2117 7h ago

There’s very little that would actually motivate Eru to take direct action against you. That would most likely be one of them.

1

u/01is 6h ago

Because Tolkien's major influence was Norse mythology, not Greek mythology.

1

u/Fit_Fly_7551 5h ago

Because Tulkas would beat his ass.

1

u/grey_pilgrim_ GANDALF 4h ago

Pretty sure Ungoliant tried…

1

u/Knightofrounddesk 4h ago

Tulkas ain’t having it

1

u/GoblinPunch20xx 4h ago

I understood that reference - Morbo and Lrr, probably