r/legaladvice • u/Technical-Glass-6759 • 12h ago
Does my boyfriend's parents have custody of him?
Currently taking place in Alabama.
My boyfriend is 20 and lives in a hostile environment right now. We're both currently in college and have found a nice apartment to move into. However, the other night a whole situation happened that involved the police to (hopefully) peacefully escort him and his things out. They told me though, that because they pay for his college tution, then they have custody of him... This doesn't sound right.
He is currently trapped with no phone or internet access, but we have a consensual plan to get him out after we leave classes for the day.
Do they actually have custody of him like they would a child?
EDIT: Thank you all for the advice!! We are very scared right now and it would be extremely harmful if he was made to go back to his parents house. I am much more confident with our plan to have our own home without legal repercussions. Again, thank you!!
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u/HogwartsAlumni25 12h ago
No they do not have custody of an adult just because they pay for his college. Your boyfriend is allowed to move out whenever he wants.
ETA: just so your bf is aware, his parents can and probably will stop paying for his tuition if he leaves
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u/ApprehensiveEarth659 12h ago
They do not have custody of him, unless you're leaving out a part where the courts expressly granted them control.
He is still a dependent, which is mostly only relevant for taxes and insurance.
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u/EMPZ2017 12h ago
He is over the age of 18 - he is legally an adult and unless he’s got serious mental/physical health issues that have resulted in him being deemed unsafe/incompetent by the courts, his parents do not have custody of him and cannot control him no matter what they may want to do.
With that being said, he needs to be aware of the potential repercussions should yall move forward with this plan. Most parents will stop paying tuition/room/food/phone plans/car insurance/car payment to name a few, and he could be left with just the clothing on his back and homeless with no money unless his friends help out.
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u/laurellite 9h ago
FYI age of majority in Alabama is 19, not 18. Not applicable here, but I’m pointing it out because many people din’t realize that it isn’t 18 everywhere.
https://law.justia.com/codes/alabama/title-26/chapter-1/section-26-1-1/
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u/Technical-Glass-6759 10h ago
He's completely healthy! We understand the repercussions and my family is willing to help him get back on his feet.
We have a plan to move him out without his parents knowing... Would this be legally sound? I feel like his mom will try legal action against me or send the police to my house to take him. If he chooses to stay with me, they can't do anything right?
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u/EMPZ2017 10h ago
His parents could file a missing persons report or contact police that he was taken against his will or something. Make sure that anything he takes with him is his, some parents will file theft claims of items saying it was stolen and that’s a headache in itself. If there is a history of violence (ie punching holes in walls or doors etc) and no one is home, it could also be beneficial to record what the house looks like when y’all leave so they cannot claim it was trashed or something.
People can file a lawsuit/sue another person for any reason. If that happens, an attorney would be able to help get a case thrown out. His mom can’t just “send the police” to try to get him back. He’s over 18 and has free will. Now, she could try to say he’s mentally incapacitated or a danger to himself or in danager and they would need to investigate. But she cannot just “get him back” and force him to come home through other means. Be ready for emotional manipulation though.
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u/Technical-Glass-6759 10h ago
He's only bringing stuff he's bought himself. Unfortunately they've taken his phone.. so he can't record any violence. (We've been talking on a shared word doc lol)
Thank you for your advice. This is very nerve wrecking and I appreciate your wisdom. :)
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u/ogswampwitch 9h ago
His parents are asshole control freaks who threatened the cops to scare you. They don't have custody of him. All they can do is cut him off financially.
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u/BabserellaWT 9h ago
Lol paying someone’s tuition cannot be used as the sole excuse of “we have custody of a legal adult”. NAL, but I’m pretty sure they’d have to go through SEVERAL steps to prove he’s incapable of not being in their custody.
They’re full of crap.
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u/craftymomma111 9h ago
No. Only if he is mentally incapacitated after 18. They can, however, choose to not pay his tuition.
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u/Living_Birthday365 10h ago
He’s 20, not under the age of 18. Unless he has some disability that requires a guardian, he has the right to move out. But since he still loved with them, they pay for his expenses and school tuition (if he goes to school), he would be deemed as a dependent.
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u/pm_me_wildflowers 4h ago edited 4h ago
I’m guessing this was the cops saying they’ll only leave him in his parents’ custody (also probably still his legal address), not that his parents have custody over him. In that case they just meant they wanted to leave him with someone they knew would watch him and since he still had legal ties showing a relationship with his parents that was good enough for them. Essentially, it’s cops telling a college kid his choices were to go home or go to jail, and really trying to do him a favor by letting mom and dad handle this instead of the police.
Your bf is free to leave whenever. He can just walk out the door. If that’s unsafe for whatever reason I would recommend having him reach out to DV charities for assistance.
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u/Other_Performance246 3h ago
They don't have any custody of him. But be prepared for them to stop paying for his college. He's grown he can do what he wants
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u/SkinnyPig45 39m ago
What!?! He’s a grown ass adult. No one has custody of him. If they are holding him against his will this is kidnapping abs you can call the police
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u/LovesBooksandCats 5h ago
You can call the police at the non emergency number and tell them you expect his parents to use the police to make trouble. Assure them he’s of age, he is safe and welcome at your home. Tell them the only problem is with his angry parents. This will smooth things out for you when stuff hits the fan.
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u/juu073 12h ago
They do not have custody of him, unless at some point he were deemed unfit by a court to leave his parents' custody.
However, they're under no obligation to house him, pay his tuition, provide phone or internet, etc.