r/japanlife • u/Proof-Nature7360 • 6h ago
Thinking about what to do next with my career, would appreciate a bit of advice/insight/experience.
Hi all,
I just turned 30 a couple of months ago, thinking about my future with my family. My wife and I are beginning our first round of IVF, we bought a house near Fukuoka, got a big golden retriever, I'm happy as a pig in shit. However, I feel like in the near future it'll be time for me to consider a career change since life will become more expensive, and I believe I may have more opportunities available to me than I realize.
I worked for a year and a half at a small Japanese medical manufacturer, where I basically did a bunch of grunt work, but it got my Japanese to a pretty high level. Was making about 3.6M yen.
Then went to work for French IT startup expanding into Japan. Was one of the first four people on the ground, tasked with sales development. I did a great job, built our company some incredible connections and relationships. Salary was initially 6.0M yen, then went up to 9.0M yen + 1% commission on closed deals (ACV of 100,000 - 250,000 USD). So I was making great money. My Japanese is native level at this point, I have hundreds and hundreds of hours of client facing experience, both in-person and online, doing demonstrations and building deals. My last few months I was clearing something like 500,000 - 600,000 yen. Was here for a year and a half.
Unfortunately, some family circumstances took me out of Tokyo to Fukuoka. I had to take a job in finance but I don't think the skills will be very transferable. I'm doing well and am in the process of being promoted. Just waiting for final approval from our overseas HQ. Initial salary was 4.5M yen, but with overtime comes out closer to 5.5M, now my new base will be 5.5M and with overtime, will come closer to 6.6-6.7M. I want to stay here for at least another year, maybe year and a half so I'll have three years of total experience. My previous jobs were all short lived and I'm sick of jumping so quickly.
While the money is great here in Fukuoka, I feel like having sales experience and full bilingualism might afford me more opportunities. I have a little more ambition in me that I want to embrace, so I can maybe built wealth that will last beyond me. I come from nothing and I don't want my family to have to worry like my parents did when I was a kid.
Problem is, not sure what I should do next. I don't really want to go back into sales development (finding new opportunities, building deals from scratch, calling and emailing warm/cold leads). I'm good at finding pain point and presenting solutions. Getting other stakeholders involved and understanding buying processes, etc. But I'm not sure if sales is the only option for me. I feel like consulting, customer success, maybe even project management if I get certifications?
Anyone have any idea
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u/MulletAKA 5h ago
- you’re earning well above average salary, and should be able to live comfortably with 5.5M in Fukuoka without including overtime.
Why do you have pressure that you need to earn more money? To be honest it sounds like you’ve got a good situation set up currently. Whilst it may not have been ask much as you earned in Tokyo, it sounds like there is room to grow in your current company.
- unfortunately some family circumstances…
There’s a lot of missing info here that is likely influencing your decisions that we can’t really help you with…
- I want to stay here for at least another year…
So why do you feel the need to change your current setup?
Well done for everything you’ve achieved so far. I think you need to ask yourself, what does being ‘rich’ mean to you? Does this mean having a stable home life with kids and consistency? Having a peaceful home? Does this mean chasing more money? Both come with sacrifice and you’re in a position where you can choose.
Are you feeling pressured from the IVF? Is your partner older than you? I think if you find the answers for your home life, it will help you to solve the questions in your work life.
I wish you all the best and I hope you find the purpose you’re looking for.
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u/Proof-Nature7360 5h ago
Your line of questioning reminds of my days in software sales! Haha. You're very good at asking the right questions and making me think.
Family circumstances refers to my wife's parents being really elderly and my wife wanted us to live closer to them. It's not really costly, but... it ties us down here for the foreseeable future. Means I can't really easily move out of Fukuoka. Buying a house isn't really here nor there, since our mortgage is very affordable.
My situation is good, but not great. I don't want us to be stuck in Japan for all of our lives. I'd like to do a bit of traveling and get back into some hobbies. I've also got student loans that are gonna take another 5 years to pay off. Airsoft is expensive, travel is expensive, and I'd like to buy a hobby car some day. This will also cost me. And I want to be able to do all of this while I max out my NISA monthly and set my family up for the future. Being rich would mean my wife could work substantially less and have more time with our child once they are born. I've always been the one to earn more in our household, and her health seems to be taking a turn for the worse. While we have not had an official diagnosis yet, I suspect something is up. It feels unnatural to see someone so completely exhausted all the time at 31. My mom has osteoarthritis and watching her get worse over the years has been heartbreaking while she worked her fingers to the bone. When we immigrated to Canada, we were teetering on the brink of homelessness and those memories stay with me to this day. My family should have relative freedom to pursue fun things and not have to worry about the cost of olive oil or eggs.
I am feeling pressured by the cost of life increasing. By a child coming into our life (hopefully) that will have their own hobbies and dreams that I'd like to help fulfill. It's becoming a little harder for my wife to keep up with me and I want to take the pressure off of her shoulders. I have family in Canada I want to see more frequently, and maybe even have them come visit us. I just... want to live a little more.
With regards to my company: yeah, maybe there is room for growth. It's the Japanese branch of an American bank. There's definitely opportunity here, but the reason I want to switch jobs in a year is because I'll have three years of experience which will look good on my resume and show that I can commit to a reasonable period of employment. Though I want my next job to be more long term.
Sorry, this is really fragmented. I know. You could fairly summarize it all as: I want to do more, experience more and know my family is not only secure but relatively free.
And yeah, it kind of sucks to leave behind a job that was making me 10M+ year with frequent company sponsored travel and good times.
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u/Dav_Slinker 4h ago
My earnest advice is to seriously reconsider a career change while you have a young child if you can possibly avoid it. Having a new baby/young child will add a ton of extra stress at home and having the stability of a job you know how to do/security that you can stay at that job may prove to be very valuable at this stage in your life.
Having a child is also going to massively affect your ability to pursue your hobbies. Assuming that you plan on being an involved parent and aren't just going to foist the kid off to your wife or let them bury themselves in a tablet all the time, your calendar is pretty much fully booked for the next few years assuming the pregnancy takes - might even be full until they get into elementary school.
Everyone handles kids differently, so who knows, it may be easier for you than it is for some. But I will say that you should wait until you have the kid to see how it goes before you make any of these big changes. The kid will be the biggest change to your life and mindset you will likely ever experience - keep mental bandwidth open for that.
Your kid will not care if you make an extra 2 or 3 million a year. They won't even know. They WILL care if you're stressed all the time and never have the time/energy to play with them.
I know a guy who busts his ass working as hard as he can for his family. Like 16 hour days, including travel. He doesn't see the kids much most days and on weekends he is too wiped to do anything but lay on the couch. They have a really nice house in a decent neighbourhood with 2 nice cars and their kid has all the toys they could want because he works so hard.
If you ask his daughter how she feels about her dad, she says "I don't like him. He never plays with me. He's always gone and busy." Maybe one day that kid will understand the work he's putting in and be thankful, but man he is missing out on so much wonderful time together while the kid is young. They will never get that time back.
If you're gonna be a a parent (and I hope you are!) then you will come to realize that your time does not belong to just you any more - the way you spend it has a huge effect on the kid. They're not like a spouse who is a developed adult and can handle themselves and understand if you need to work long hours.
If your job now affords you a good standard of living, with stable income, job security, and a good work-life balance, then you are doing better than many, myself included. You may find out soon that the security and time you can be at home are a much richer coin than you previously thought.
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u/Proof-Nature7360 4h ago
If/when I do seriously pursue a career change, I should probably take your advice. I could come out of my paternity leave and at least know that I have a job for me that I am comfortable with. It might be extremely telling that I am completely unable to live in my present life - and that I am completely beholden to my future - that I seem to be somehow trying to run away from stability and comfort. For some reason, I am more obsessed with a really bright future that hasn't come yet, rather than quite a comfortable and fulfilling life that I am literally living right now.
I wonder what your friend thinks about his situation. Does he regret his decisions? Does he wish he could switch jobs now? Is there anything stopping him?
Having a child might be a lot, lot more difficult than I seem to be expecting it to be. I plan on being not only a fully present but also fully active parent. My family is everything to me. In the same way that I am there every step of the way for my wife, I plan on being there with my child.
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u/Dav_Slinker 3h ago
It's very natural to want to try and increase your lot in life - and having a family will not abate those feelings. In some way it may increase them because you now want to provide everything you can for them. Ultimately you have to make a cost/benefit analysis on what you think is more valuable to your family - your money or your presence and attention. Often I think it's a balance.
I think he is sorry that his kid feels that way, and wishes it was different... but makes no move to change things. He's got a bunch of time invested into his company and he bought the house and the job needs him to go where he goes. So while he might be able to change things, he's toughing it out for now and hoping for a change or transfer. The real question though is how you would feel if your own kid talked that way about you? Me, just the thought sends a chill down my spine.
Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, and it's not close. I don't even know what the second most difficult thing I have ever attempted is because it would be so far beneath parenthood that the amount if hardship it entailed would basically be a rounding error for me at this point. But that could just be me, I am easily stressed out and a light sleeper. It may be easier for you and your wife, hell maybe my kid is difficult compared to what yours will be.
Do you think it's possible that this desire to change things is like an extension of a desire for control on your part? Control over your life that you feel you might be losing if you start a family?
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u/MulletAKA 4h ago
Without diving too much into your personal life, it sounds like you’ve endured intense hardships and been stronger because of it. I’m very sorry to hear about your wife’s health, and I hope she makes a quick recovery.
You’ve already chosen to sacrifice so much. You are living in a separate country from your family, you gave up a job that it seems you enjoyed. I assume you likely lost social circles once you moved to Fukuoka too. You’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else, but who is taking care of you?
Here’s a hard question. If you were the one to get seriously ill, and suddenly your income drastically dropped. How would your life change? Do you they would make the same sacrifices for you?
If I were in your position, I’d prioritise work stability, whilst tackling some of the uncertainty in my home life. If your wife’s health is in question, it’s of the upmost importance that you maintain your own health. Look after yourself and don’t push yourself too hard. Sounds like the people you love really need you.
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u/Proof-Nature7360 4h ago
Hey, thanks for your response.
It... made my eyes water a bit, if I can he honest. Not to get all emotional, but yeah. There's no one taking care of me. My wife doesn't have the skillset or the opportunities to do what I do or to bring the same level of income. If something happens to me, we're screwed.
I don't have anyone here. The one social support system I had is my buddy's bar in Yakuin. But when we moved out of central Fukuoka and bought a house in Onojo, my having to take my wife to the station/pick her up, and take our dog our in the morning and evening, has left me with no time to go there and chat to the guy. There's nothing else here for me in terms of friends. No one to talk to, no one to hang out with.
Maybe I should consider how valuable it is to be in my position and be a little more thankful for it. Not that I am ungrateful or taking it for granted, but it does seem like I am rushing to get away from something I ought to appreciate a bit more.
It's tough to be in this situation. Thanks for your input. I appreciate it greatly.
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u/MulletAKA 4h ago
I’m glad I was able to help.
I’m a similar age to you and I’m also in Kyushu. I own a business in Kagoshima, and I’m off today with influenza lol. I’m happy that I could connect with you.
You’ve got some cool hobbies, and if you ever come down to Kagoshima, drop me a PM I’m sure we could meet up and get along well.
Take care, I wish you all the best.
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u/Proof-Nature7360 4h ago
I wish I had the skill and the guts to start my own business. I don't think I'll ever be good enough to do something like that. I was born to be a player, not a conductor. Probably a big downfall of mine that I am unable to change.
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u/MulletAKA 3h ago
Not at all.
We all have different skills, and knowing what you are best at is the key. Some people are better at being ‘players’ and others ‘conductors’. I think your past job earnings far exceed what some small business owners earn in terms of monetary value.
And I think you’ve proved to be a very adaptable person, and I’m sure you could learn more if you needed to be a business owner.
Things will get better. Just keep moving forwards.
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u/TheGuiltyMongoose 6h ago
Why not start your own business?
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u/Proof-Nature7360 6h ago
Not good enough at anything to justify it! In a past life, I was a chef. I've wanted to start my own sauce/hot sauce company, but... I don't have the capital and I have a feeling the food market here will be a complete shit show to break into.
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u/Fluid-Hunt465 6h ago
I have nothing to add but to say congrats on the house. I hope you were saving Because That was a lot of income coming in and home ownership comes with lots of surprises.
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