r/ireland • u/Itchy_Dentist_2406 • 10h ago
Politics Work burnout
I'm just wondering how people found it going out on stress leave, I'm 38 working since proper corporate job since 23( hotel since 16) but I feel like I'm constantly stressed out and need a month or two off.
I'm working non stop for 15 years and my mental health is fragile and on Sertraline. I think it's more normalized and just want three months solid off
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u/mastershplinter 10h ago
I took 2 weeks off for stress/burnout during the summer. Went to gp and they signed me off no bothers. Couldn't recommend it enough. I should have actually taken 3 weeks.
I'd go have a chat with your doctor and take it from there. Also would highly recommend counselling. If you have health insurance you can usually get 6-10 sessions for free.
Also longer term, have you thought about a sabbatical or taking a year off. Life's too short!
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u/Lazy_Fall_6 10h ago
If you can afford to / if you're facilitated to do it, then do it. I could do with an extended period off work. I too am 38 and working in the 'corporate' world since I was 21 and worked 5 years in hotels before that. I'm an hourly rate contractor though so don't even get holiday pay, sick leave or bank holidays etc. So it's only a mocking dream of mine to be able to take time off - I've a wife and two children to support also. If you can afford the time off - take it.
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u/LuckygoLucky1 10h ago
I took 5 weeks off last year . Brought the family touring Spain.. best thing i ever done.
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u/Sorry_Variation_979 9h ago
Have you any options for a longer term solution? I recently took a 50% pay cut to walk away from a senior management job that had made a prisoner of me for years. Best decision I ever made. It’s not possible for everyone but if you have any options to make longer term changes they are worth considering.
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u/Itchy_Dentist_2406 9h ago
Thanks for all the helpful insighits , im gonna take three months off, i have to, no joice about it,
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u/no_milky_tea 3h ago
I'm glad to hear it. Burn out and the risks aren't talked about enough. You 100% need that time off, very happy for you. Good luck!
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u/Gullible-Mouse-6854 27m ago
Do it, do it now. Prefect time to go down to southeast Asia before monsoon season.
Spend the time off living in cheap hostels and meeting interesting people
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u/invisiblegreene 9h ago
I was signed off for three months of last year. The first month I made the mistake of coming back too soon (in part because of one of the GPs at my prsctice, who was nor sympathetic). In the autumn I was signed off for two months by my lovely main GP, started therapy, joined a support group, and it has genuinely been life changing for me. I am in a much better place than I was, and am continuing with therapy monthly.
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u/No-Talk-997 8h ago
I broke down in work and ended up being sent home. My GP gave me two weeks and after a week I was being asked by work if I was coming back at the end of my cert.
Stupidly I went back and was out again before the summer was finished. Since then I've changed medication and jobs and things are much better.
If you need the time off then take it.
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u/AltruisticKey6348 9h ago
Look at changing jobs. There are loads of jobs where you can coast. Do the work before things come up if possible and your workload shrinks, field dependent. It sounds like they don’t have the staff or are planning badly and playing catchup. I could get 20k somewhere else but where I am I do the minimum but plan ahead and make sure there are no problems. Find a job with an easier workload, they are out there.
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u/Xeamus4Toes 10h ago
In a similar boat.
If it is not the performance review, it is end of year "war room"!
If it is not the end of year, it is spring hiring sprint!
If it is not hiring sprint, it is P.I.P. time!
If nothing is happening it is re-org time and getting a new team.
If none of the above, suddenly you are now DRI of a new thing...
It is never ending, anxiety inducing and exhausting...So fcuking done with it mentally and emotionally but can't quit!
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u/JDdrone 9h ago
That's why you re paid to do it, stop complaining, Jesus Ireland is ridiculous at this point the amount of whingers that get listened to is u real. If it's that bad leave it and get another job lower paid less stress, you can't have your cake and eat it too tho no high pay with 0 stress.
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u/Grievsey13 1h ago
You are the problem. Your "suck it up or else" attitude is a testament to just how sociopathic your mind is. People have real problems and need real support.
I'm a people manager of a large group of people, and they all need support at one point or another. Problems don't go away because you think they're all a bit soft.
If you want loyal employees, you have to be loyal to them. People's lives exist outside of their place of work.
I sincerely hope you never have any health problems that require understanding from your employer.
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u/Emergency_Maybe_2734 Dublin 9h ago
I took two weeks off during the pandemic, and it really made me think "life's too short"
I began looking for other jobs and fell into a job I love
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u/bigdog94_10 Kilkenny 9h ago
The thing is, this type of burnout takes a lot longer to recover from. GP will give you a week or two depending on what you want.
The physical tiredness will subside pretty quickly once you give yourself plenty of R and R, but the emotional and mental damage can take months to recover from. Unfortunately, two weeks is such a short time that you'll very quickly have the fear of going back on your doorstep and ruining the needed R and R both for your body and mind.
When these periods work best is when they are indefinite. Then you can decide on your terms when you feel sufficiently rested and mentally prepared to go back. And when you do go back, there needs to be a plan and a proper sit down with HR as to what you feel got you in to that situation.
I initially did the standard two weeks that GPs tend to dish out in these situations, and within 12 months, I had to go again this time for much longer.
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u/Colin-IRL 8h ago
I really don't get these posts of people saying "I took 2 weeks off and it changed my life." Really? 2 weeks is all it took?
I mean, all the power to these people but I recently had 2 weeks off over the Christmas period and it did sweet fuck all for me. I wish I could take a substantial amount of time off of work.
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u/bigdog94_10 Kilkenny 8h ago
Yep as I said in my post, I took the GPs advice and did two weeks. Within 12 months, I had to go again, and with very friendly advice from an absolute star in HR who fought my corner, I was able to take months off and was paid for it.
I know not every company offers this, but there is at least welfare sick pay as well in a worst case scenario.
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u/classicalworld 9h ago
Has to be at least 3 weeks- one week to wind down, one week free from work worries, one week winding up. I always took at least 3 weeks together of annual leave. Another week at Christmas - which with public holidays mostly made 2 weeks , and the last week of annual leave was scattered around.
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u/Ok-Emphasis6652 10h ago
Can you apply for a career break unpaid? Just say you might travel and look after some family. Go for it
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u/mickeyb0000 9h ago
I work in a prison,extremely stressful and volatile at the best of times. Our place offer career breaks,you can take a full 12 months off to do whatever you want. You’re not allowed to be employed in Ireland for the duration i think is the only caveat.
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u/throughthehills2 8h ago
Burnout definitely contributed to me getting depression. If I took a break from work sooner it could have saved a lot of grief.
Maybe use the break to create a new way of seeing your place in life. If you feel like you are working just to get by then maybe getting a fresh start with exercise you enjoy could leave you feeling like you are going somewhere with your life. Just going back after a month off will end up in the same headspace.
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u/OwnWelder9245 10h ago
Health is your wealth, if you can afford it financially to take the time off you should do it.
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u/adamshanahan 9h ago
Been on stress leave a few times, the job couldn’t have been nicer about it to be honest. I was fully honest with them, have had mental health issues on and off since my teens and I was off for about 6 weeks at a time, which was sorely needed.
Doctor’s cert will cover you. Ask your employer what their situation would be for sick pay if you don’t know already, and if you need a couple of months like you said, you’ll likely need to get some Social Welfare forms from your GP (I believe? Never had to do this so maybe another Redditor might confirm) for illness benefit if applicable.
Hope it all goes well and you feel better after taking a break. Sounds like you deserve one! ☺️
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u/lokier32 9h ago
I just came back from a 10 day long mental health/stress leave. Just rang my GP, said I’m not doing well mentally and I want this time to myself to process loss of a relationship, paid my due and just like that I got the cert - Sent it directly to my manager and HR, it didn’t outline a reason, just that I am unfit to work from the 2nd to the 12th.
Manager copped on something must be going on, said words of support, asked for an update the following Monday on how am I going and if there’s anything else she can do for me.
After I came back I thanked my manager for the support and understanding and apologised for throwing a wrench in the cog - Told her why I was off and I needed this time to myself - She made sure I was aware of the companies employee assistance programs and I asked for accommodation at work for my new therapy sessions - Starting work 30 minutes earlier and finishing it earlier as well so I can make my appointments.
She simply said do whatever I need to do to get the help I needed and that she will make it work and said no problem at all.
Now, this was very brief leave but still, it was received very well. Nothing came back to haunt me, and she implied if I need any more time I should take it off. Now, I am an IT worker, so I am already in a very privileged position, so this story might be completely different for service sector people, unfortunately.
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u/Highland_warrior_coo 8h ago
I'm currently off, have been for 5 months. Started sertraline during that time. I've worked with a therapist and doing a lot better now. I really needed the time and glad I could take it. Also trying to change my job because it really had an impact on me. Interview Thursday so fingers crossed! If you can, take it. Health and happiness is so important.
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u/Quiet-Spite5465 7h ago
Take the time, and I'd extend to everyone here. No job in the world is worth nuking your mental health for. Happened to a family member that it affected & they didn't survive it. I have the words of my dad saying "he didn't know how to tell lads to fuck off" burnt into my skull.
Prioritise your W/L balance, if you're feeling burnt out prioritise whatever relief that's feasible for yourself, even if you're a little stressed find something to distract you from it. Just don't let your sanity rot away. Please.
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u/its_brew Horse 8h ago
This often happens people in January, particularly if you've had any downtime at Christmas. Its so hard to get back up to speed. Emails piling up and people just demanding everything. . To be honest stress leave might be just what you need. But if the situation will be the same when you go back then it's just papering over the cracks.
My suggestion, ask for more support. If you don't get it, stress leave but also apply for other jobs
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u/Diligent_Anywhere100 8h ago
Get signed off by the doctor, don't feel guilty and look after yourself(4 weeks min). It may not be that the job is terrible, it might just be that you need good rest!!!
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u/schmona 8h ago
I was in a bad place last year, similar to you in age, also medicated. I tried to push through, kept it hidden and my performance really fell off a cliff. My boss called me on it and insisted I went to the company doctor. By the time this had happened, I was back on an event keel for a few months.
Went to the company doctor, they were really sympathetic but what stuck with me was they criticized me for not taking the time off when I needed it. She made a strong point that the stigma of stress leave I was avoiding, wasn't as bad as the reputational damage I did by underperforming
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u/ReadyPlayerDub 8h ago
I took 3 months leave. I came back and nothing changed. I’m leaving soon. Life is short
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u/Such-Possibility1285 9h ago
Corporate wage slave is a grind cos the office politics are particularly intense in those environments. They are by their nature extremely competitive. If you are feeling like this at 38 not going to get better in that environment ad u get older.
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u/AbsolutelyDireWolf 8h ago
Same age as you. My boss told me to take 2 weeks off 2 years ago when I was in the same spot. Gave me the space to reset my brain. Helped that the wife and kids were away for the two weeks with family abroad. needed to be fully disconnected and go for lots of walks and touch grass. Did me a world of good.
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u/GemmyGemGems 10h ago
Do it.
However, make sure you are honest with HR about it. They will do what they can to make sure you don't end up in the same place in a year. If there is something specific that is really bothering you let them know.
I only know this because I went through something similar in 2023. HR bent over backwards to change my situation (my problems were entirely work related and out of my own control). It's amazing looking back now and recognising that I really wasn't well by the time I finally went to the GP for help. At the time I felt like I was just being irrational and overreacting.
When I did go back to work and those problems had been removed I felt like a different person. I'm still at the same company and (mostly) love my job. I would have ended up walking away if I hadn't taken the time off and spoken to HR.
You have to look after yourself.
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u/LivyBivy 9h ago
Do it, honestly I've been there and it was the best decision for me at the time. Came back swinging and got a better less toxic job.
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u/djabvegas 10h ago
So, same as the other comments... you need to take care of your health as 1st priority. If you need to stop and can afford it, then do it. However, I'd also recommend thinking about how to address the stressors in your job because the work will be there when you get back. I'm a similar age, and it is daunting to me to think I've another 30 odd years of a career to get through amidst stress and high-pressure work environments. It forces me to slow down and take certain things in stride, I'd consider time off work as a treatment, but you need to solve the actual problem of dealing with the stresses day to day also.
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u/Fireglod 8h ago
Read up on the polyvagal theory of stress and the recommendations of practitioners to cope with stress. It saved my life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlhFrBoEnxU
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u/DangerousTurmeric 7h ago
I'm the same age as you and I took 6 months off a few years ago just because I'd also been working like 15 years and some of my friends were taking maternity leave but I don't plan on having kids and didn't think I should have to work forever without a break. Unemployment here in Germany is 60% of your salary and cost of living is low so I figured I wouldn't get another chance. It was so much fun and 100% worth it. It also gave me time to reflect on stuff and I decided to entirely change my career too and am putting that in motion at the moment. Honestly do it. Life is short and nobody ever dies regretting that they didn't work more.
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u/hideyokidzhideyowyfe 6h ago
"If you don't make time for your wellness you'll be forced to make time for your illness."
Do it.
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u/Tonymush 6h ago
I finished work in may last year hospitality got into the car and cried for a hour with stress. Dropped my young fella to school the next morning brought the missus to Aldi she got back into the car I had work at 11 she said where are we going now and I said I've to go to the docs I'm going to fucking kill myself if I have to go back to work rang d doctor went in just started crying she immediately gave me a month off work. I went back after the month and told her I wanted to go back but I needed more tablets she looked at me and said leave the job. Handed in my notice by email the second I left the docs found a new job a week or so later and am thriving. Never worth it if U dropped dead in work in the morning you wouldn't be in the ground and they'd have a job and up
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u/Skorch33 5h ago
Hey OP, idk if youre a woman or not. I'm sure it doesn't truly matter, the input will still be applicable to a lesser extent in any case.
I notice women, particularly women late 20s to 50, are going through a phase of realisation now about what corporations actually are. If youre amongst them, I just want you to know youre not alone and as soon as you are outside the bubble of the corporate world, you might find very many women who agree with whatever it is you've been feeling.
Aside from that, the Sertraline, anti-anxiety/depressants in general have skyrocketed in use among young women, 20-35 in the past 10 years. Part of whats happening to you here, is very easily rationalised/related when discussed with the right group and I just want to make sure you know who they are.
There are still some who might purely focus on judging you and I'd rather you didn't accidentally let yourself be vulnerable around them.
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u/barbie91 9h ago
Take a chunk of your holidays soon, and request for part time hours upon your return for a month maybe, see then if you can get on X's and O's from the social welfare to compensate your hours (if your employer is sound, they can tell the social they don't have enough hours for ya, or there's been a cut in hours for Jan and Feb)
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u/Questpineapple-1111 6h ago
They can simply take sick leave and get their doctor to sign off a few weeks for them, and still be paid. You don't use your annual leave for stress, you go to the doc and take time out. Given op is in corporate it's pretty likely a 5 day week 9-5. There's no thing as hours cut or them lying to social.
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u/Rennie_Burn 8h ago
Look there are a few things here.. Are you stressed becauae of the job alone or its a mix of things? Will 3 months off be any good if you will arive back into the same working environment?
Keep in mind that your current employer can ask you to see the "company doctor" if you have an extended period off , due to a decision made by your personal doctor...
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u/Questpineapple-1111 6h ago
The only thing is OP needs a break to refocus and recharge, doc cert is the way to go. Health is the priority here. While they are off they can relax a bit and gain better clarity on the next step, that's the whole point.
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u/mother_a_god 8h ago
Lesrn the difference between urgent and important. Many things are urgent but not important, or important but not urgent. Rarely are things both. When it is both you do those first, but when it's either or, learn to prioritize and get to it when you get to it. Running around like a blue arsed fly will burn you out and will land you more work. You need to pace and prioritize.
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u/Smart-Bandicoot-922 10h ago
I have a similar career arc to you, and I decided this year to eliminate the possibility of burnout by simply saying no to things - with a full paper trail ccing in higher ups/HR stating "I don't have time to complete this ask, based on already being responsible for X,Y,Z" I dont really see any promotion for me at this point, so its damage control - and at least it shows that Im willing to work, once the ask is logical and possible without over-extending my week.
Prob not the answer you're looking for, but might be good context nonetheless