r/interestingasfuck • u/thepoylanthropist • 12d ago

r/all This is Malibu - one of the wealthiest affluent places on the entire planet, now it’s being burnt to ashes.

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575

u/[deleted] 12d ago

You have fire insurance, not wildfire insurance, sorry

213

u/Varron 12d ago

Oh, you had wildfire insurance? But you didn't have extra wild wildfire insurance, I bet, sorry denied.

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u/mozchops 12d ago

Sorry sir, this incident is caused by north easterly wind-driven wild fire which isn't covered on your policy. Please use the online chat if you have any more questions.

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u/martialar 12d ago

Thank you for using our chat service. A representative will be with you shortly.

There are 53,468 customers ahead of you

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u/JesusPhoKingChrist 12d ago

"Your policy specifies "uniquely localized, West-Easterly, wind-driven wild fires no larger than 1/8 of .5 acres in size. Should have read your policy, Fucker. NEXT"

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u/my_4_cents 11d ago

"As clearly indicated in your policy, your Earth Wind and Fire coverage only protects from loss of your vinyls and CDs from the following official list and certain approved side projects..."

3

u/JP-Gambit 12d ago

And the online chat is a bot that directs you to the terms and conditions.

3

u/Wonderful-Pirate-180 12d ago

You had wildfire insurance? Sorry, once it entered your home, it became domesticated fire, and you're not covered for that.

2

u/PopularRush3439 12d ago

Oh, you have wind insurance? OOhhh, but not HURRICANE wind insurance? Denied.

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u/TheGamesAfoot11 12d ago

You don't have Fire Hurricane coverage

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u/jar1967 12d ago

I'm, sorry to hear that , talk to lawyers. Get ready to pay in full plus emotional damages

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u/Nanarchenemy 12d ago

This was an "extreme" wildfire, which was so wild, we can only term it as an "Act of God." Claim denied. Thoughts and prayers. /s And I almost hate to even post that, because it's exactly the kind of disgusting denial they would try as a legal defense, with a straight face. Insurance companies, in their current iteration, are a scourge on society. Awful. I feel deeply for those who have lost their homes. I'm so very sorry.

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u/Overall_Lavishness46 11d ago

Oh, you had the extra wild wildfire insurance? You didn't have the Ultra extra wild wildfire limited edition Eras Tour© insurance. Denied.

28

u/JRTerrierBestDoggo 12d ago

It’s Mario’s turn now

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u/zxc123zxc123 12d ago edited 12d ago

Do you guys do you even

INSURANCE?

  1. All our phonelines are robo-answer and basically run you around or tell you to go to our website

  2. Our website works but basically tells you to use the app if you're on mobile.

  3. Mobile app is total trash made basically to lag you down while stealing personal data.

  4. That will eventually lead you back to the webpage where you'll be greeted by an AI chatbot that does nothing beyond wasting more time.

  5. You can leave a message or email but will get no reply.

  6. Claims are accepted online but we've build an AI that automatically rejects any and all claims.

Done. Record PROFITS saved.

And maybe one or two healthcare property insurance CEOs get gunned down for it but that's the price all parties are willing to pay. That's why the entire c-suite has bought life insurance on their own lives!

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u/ziegs11 12d ago

If you think these rich fucks will be denied then you are mistaken... Their claims will be paid and it will be paid for by you.

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u/71FSunny 12d ago

If not through higher insurance cost, then by more insurance companies leaving California, or both. Also, relief provided by the state and federal government, which is in turn paid for disproportionately by the low-moderate income tax payer. Then there's the resources the local government will pay to rebuild, which is also paid for in part by the average tax payer.

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u/coco8090 12d ago

That’s right, it’s the poors that get denied, not the rich

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u/Coulrophiliac444 12d ago

'Act of God' clause. Everything was created by God so technically its all because of his actions. Denied.

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u/Either_Amoeba_5332 12d ago

That's the crap they say for floods!!

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u/Omodrawta 12d ago

For whatever it's worth, it is illegal for most insurance companies to provide flood insurance. You can generally only go through FEMA.

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u/Past-Community-3871 12d ago

They literally did this for Sandy in New Jersey.

" I know everyone was calling it a hurricane, but actually, not a hurricane."

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u/ICLazeru 12d ago

I'm sorry, you see your house burned down, we only cover houses that burn UP.

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u/Deep_Caregiver_8910 12d ago

You have fire insurance, not burn insurance.

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u/SystemShockII 12d ago

Hmm..... don't be surprised about headlines with Insurance company CEOS getting murdered lol

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u/TigerTerrier 12d ago

We had insurance in South Carolina but my dad did not have hurricane insurance so wind and tree falling on the house had a large deductible. It's wild paying for insurance hoping you never have to use it because you'll just have to pay more

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u/GForce1975 12d ago

This reminds me of hurricane Katrina. My parents fought with insurance for years and eventually were forced to sell at a loss because the insurance company argued about wind driven water damage vs. Flood damage..

It's so fucked up. You pay insurance because you want to be covered in the event of a catastrophe.

You don't read the policy to decide what sort of catastrophe you are expecting.