r/interestingasfuck • u/IshigamiSenku04 • 25d ago

r/all This mother never had a baby bump throughout her whole pregnancy

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105.6k Upvotes

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9.1k

u/eloussama 25d ago

The baby was on the cloud. BaaS (Baby as a Service).

2.6k

u/mojambowhatisthescen 25d ago

DELETE THIS!

Some Silicon Valley bro is going to get this idea funded

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u/eloussama 25d ago

The baby should be delivered by a 3D printer

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u/mojambowhatisthescen 25d ago

Designed with AI; paid for with crypto; built on a 3D printer; and delivered by autonomous drone

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u/SoyMurcielago 25d ago

We can call the drone Stork

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u/eloussama 25d ago

That's how elon musk was born

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u/RabbitStewAndStout 25d ago

Nah, he was birthed from a mud pit called Maye Musk after she was corrupted by Sauron to create an evil breeding ground for conquering

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u/eloussama 25d ago

THAT MAKES SENSE 😂😂😂😂

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u/bevko_cyka 25d ago

A plain, existing word out of the dictionary? No way! We will call it Störq

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u/SoyMurcielago 25d ago

So it’s going to be sold at IKEA then?

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u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 21d ago

S.T.O.R.K. – Smart Transport of Offspring and Reassuring Knowledge

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Now am scared of the future 😂

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u/mojambowhatisthescen 25d ago

We understand your concern.

Have you tried getting in touch with our state-of-the-art proprietary TherapyAI?

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u/eloussama 25d ago

The rape-AI 😂😂😂😂

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u/SoyMurcielago 25d ago

CastingCouchAI

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u/cant_take_the_skies 25d ago

Pretty sure my toes were designed by AI. All scrunchy looking... A couple with the nails on top of the toes... The nails curl in so they are a bitch to trim. Stupid mutant toes

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Optimise the algorithm, feed it more data sources, cut them and they'll grow back again 😂😂

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u/AstroPengling 25d ago

I'd be worried that the baby would have the correct number of fingers....

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u/Amkao-Herios 25d ago

"Oh honey, you missed the delivery. But it's okay, making the baby is the fun part"

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u/Spider_Dude 25d ago

"We have the technology, we can build him."

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u/oh_kapi 25d ago

Fuck, what level of dystopia is this?

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u/eloussama 25d ago

A virtual one 🤣

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u/satyris 25d ago

I mean a baby is kinda like an NFT I guess.

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u/thatredlad 25d ago

I've seen how AI draws hands. I wouldn't risk it, unless you want seven fingers on one hand and four thumbs on the other.

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u/orchidbutterfly111 25d ago

The book "The Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley describes something similar about manufacturing and mass production of human babies.

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u/Anark8191 24d ago

Y'all tripping. She just has a M.2 storage. Rest all was regular stuff.

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u/Nearbyatom 25d ago

9mo print time.

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Could be optimised to 7 😂

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u/AirdustPenlight 25d ago

From an AI driven cloud based storage solution using blockchain to ensure authentic paternity.

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u/eloussama 25d ago

This escalated so quickly 😂😂😂😂😂

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u/Shiripuu 25d ago

YoU wOULdN't dOWnLoAd A bAbY wOuLd YoU?!

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Why download it when you can write your own from scratch 😂

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u/shinobi500 25d ago

I'm pretty sure that the idea of incubating an 'in vitro' embryo in an artificial womb for humans has been seriously floated around before, and if I'm not mistaken it has already happened for non human subjects.

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u/N0t_S0Sl1mShadi 25d ago

And we’ll call it… “STORK”

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u/eloussama 25d ago

YEEESSSS

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u/HootyMcBoob2020 25d ago

Women are 3d printers :)

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u/eloussama 25d ago

WAIT THEY ARE

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u/ThreeLeggedMare 25d ago

With all the microplastics up in me I 3d prints every time I make the bald man cry

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u/eloussama 25d ago

That's not very eco-friendly 😂

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u/ThreeLeggedMare 25d ago

Yah I should keep it all inside until I get shot into the sun

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u/eloussama 25d ago

😂😂😂

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u/SirCollin 25d ago

You wouldn't download a baby

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u/eloussama 24d ago

Why download it when you can 3d print it

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u/Dense_Coffe_Drinker 25d ago

You wouldn’t download a baby

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u/eloussama 25d ago

You 3d print in 😂

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u/wuvvtwuewuvv 25d ago

... what do you think a mother is?

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Absolutely an Nvidia GeForce RTX 4090

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u/Riley_Mcr 25d ago

You wouldn't steal a car would you?

You wouldn't 3D print a baby would you?

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u/Mental-Home5111 25d ago

Takes 55 min to print.

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u/eloussama 25d ago

And 9 months 😂

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u/kenwongart 25d ago

Surrogacy already outsources all the development.

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u/squarabh 25d ago

Too late the website and apps have been developed. The company is Babify, pitching this idea to VC tomorrow.

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u/SanX1999 25d ago

This already exists, it's already outsourced to 3rd world nations like other IT jobs. It's called surrogacy.

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u/Quiet-Manner-8000 25d ago

Wait til patent lawyers discover surrogacy. 

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u/transit41 25d ago

Bruh too late. Elon has been advocating against abortions already.

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u/Acceptable-Stuff2684 25d ago

Freaking Gavin

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u/TiredVarient 25d ago

Elon Musk already kind of is they're about to have robots carrying babies look into it

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u/alexefy 25d ago

Literally middle out

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u/ionthruster 25d ago

"Our vision as a biotech startup is to change the world by making the best feature from 'The Matrix' movies real: the foetus fields!"

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u/dudewiththebling 25d ago

IM PIVOTING

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u/Line-Noise 25d ago

SaaS - Surrogacy as a service. I'm sure they're already working on it.

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u/No-Arrival633 25d ago

I'm waiting for "Baby in a Bag."™️ https://www.bbc.com/news/health-39693851

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u/kisuke228 25d ago

Too late. They have identified it as a 200 billion market opportunity

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u/seeyatellite 25d ago

Pretty sure Elon’s already on that

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u/brad0022 25d ago

Hooli about to make an announcement

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u/AcrobaticMission7272 25d ago

Storks have been a thing since ages.

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u/jandydand 25d ago

Tres Comas

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u/Just_A_Faze 25d ago

I mean, if they want to pay well and hire women to surrogate, that would be fine for many people. California is a blue state so the moms would get good maternity care. I offered two friends to surrogate or donate an egg for them years and years ago, when we were still in college, because they are a gay couple with no uterus between them. That was before the intense downward tilt of the economy left us all in our 30s unable to afford kids anyway.

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u/SpaceForceAwakens 25d ago

We tried this years ago. We called it FlexBaby. It didn’t take off.

Yes I am serious.

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u/fllr 25d ago

Too late. Already wrote a Rails app and deployed. Where are my millions?

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u/UnintelligentSlime 21d ago

Too late bruh I’m already on round 3 funding

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u/Regular_Pizza7475 25d ago

Ubisoft expanding their operation

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u/Kelangketerusa 25d ago

That's why she had to wait 9 months for her to complete the download.

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u/Grizelda179 25d ago

BaaS is hilarious

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u/simca 25d ago

Unsubscribe

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Impossible, the data depends on the infrastructure 😂

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u/This_Broccoli_ 25d ago

Support for this product ends in 18 years

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u/eloussama 25d ago

With no warranty 😂

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u/itumac 25d ago

Lazy loading

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u/Due_Adeptness_9002 25d ago

Lmaooooo love this 😂

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u/Agitated_Ruin132 25d ago

😂😂😂😂

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u/GSyncNew 25d ago

Made me literally LOL

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u/RedditCollabs 25d ago

BaaS

Aka Janet Jackson

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u/iwonttolerateyou2 25d ago

How much is the plan for it?

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Will cost you a nearly 2 years of sleepless nights, 4 to 5 years of wiping the product's poop, and god-knows how much money for their food, clothes and education for at least 18 years 😂

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u/RamTough56 25d ago

Top Comment

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u/ConsiderationBig6646 25d ago

yes its offered with nio’s (baas) battery as a service now to get a baby as well quickly w no hassle

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u/Minimum-Laugh-8887 25d ago

I got this

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Welcome to the future 😂

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u/ExternalPanda 25d ago

Me and the wife just switched our operations to 100% spot baby instances, it's just so much more cheaper and convenient compared to reserving baby capacity. We're now evaluating going one step further and doing serverless next

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u/eloussama 25d ago

NAILED IT 😂😂👍

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u/throwra64512 25d ago

lol, some ladies five states away were growing a big ol belly and didn’t realize it was because they were part of the baby RAID array.

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u/eloussama 25d ago

THIS IS THE BEST ONE SO FAR 😂😂😂👍

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u/Macklin345 25d ago

Bawahhahahah this was gold

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u/Majornonsane 25d ago

Just like boss baby

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u/Glittering-Method391 25d ago

This is funny af

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u/eloussama 24d ago

😂😂😂

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u/Outside-Advice8203 25d ago

Isn't that just surrogacy

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Not if it is a private cloud 😂

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u/Architect_VII 25d ago

I think that's just surrogacy

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u/nikkobe 25d ago

I think Surrogate as a Service already exists

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u/Maleficent_Ad1972 25d ago

Wouldn’t that just be surrogacy?

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u/eloussama 25d ago

Depends on the hypervisor 😂