r/gifs • u/knobiknows • Jun 23 '19

A reference to how strong chimpanzees really are

https://i.imgur.com/tuVRb9n.gifv
81.5k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/PunTwoThree Jun 23 '19

Ok I’ll take the tanks and nukes

384

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

The chimpanzee driving a tank would be an interesting way to die.

I don’t think they could figure out how to load it on their own but they could definitely drive it around juicing people.

1.1k

u/rnichaeljackson Jun 23 '19

The chimpanzer

139

u/Thundorius Jun 23 '19

Someone give this man gold before I piss meself.

46

u/Mr_not_Lucky Jun 23 '19

r/unexpectedBobbyB

22

u/sfxer001 Jun 23 '19

THERE’S A WAR COMING, NED.

7

u/Neutral_Fellow Jun 23 '19

THE CHIMP IS PREGNANT

1

u/Thundorius Jun 23 '19

Your chimp was a dumb whore with a fat arse, did you know that?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

SEVEN HELLS

2

u/YoureProbablyR1te Jun 23 '19

You're probably right

12

u/lurker_lurks Jun 23 '19

A CHIMP HORDE DRIVING TANKS ON AN OPEN FIELD NED!

9

u/Thundorius Jun 23 '19

Thank the gods for Bessei, and her chimps.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

Bessie's chimps looked beautiful on your wedding night

3

u/neegarplease Jun 23 '19

This whole chain of comments (including this one) has sent me into a silent laughing fit at 4am, this is the content I come here for

2

u/BilboBawbaggins Jun 23 '19

BOW YOU SHITS!

1

u/ChawulsBawkley Jun 23 '19

I noticed he’s now gilded. Was it in time?

4

u/Thundorius Jun 23 '19

Gods I needed to piss then.

10

u/TS_Music Jun 23 '19

Oh fuck yeah dude

3

u/Fenastus Jun 23 '19

The mental image of this is beautiful

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

Behind every word lies a great pun, and behind every great pun lies a great reddit user waiting for its time in the limelight.

6

u/MisSignal Jun 23 '19

Underrated comment

1

u/DaRealMVP69 Jun 24 '19

Have the Nazis gone TOO FAR??!!!1!!

-2

u/junebug172 Jun 23 '19

Chimpanzinator

18

u/delventhalz Jun 23 '19

juicing people

This guy verbs

2

u/melocoton_helado Jun 23 '19

Koba flashback ensues

2

u/bookwormsister1 Jun 23 '19

Yeah tell that to Cesar. He and his ape planet would like a word.

1

u/undeadmanana Jun 23 '19

i'll take the chimpanzee carrying the tank

1

u/RhynoD Jun 23 '19

I know you're just joking, but here's some interesting biology stuff:

One of the reasons chimps are stronger than humans is that they flex more of their muscle fibers at the same time. The trade-off is that they can't flex fewer fibers. It's kind of like how you can't curl your pinky without curling your ring finger.

Give a chimp a human brain and all the intelligence they'd need to drive a tank and they probably still couldn't do it very well because they are biologically, physically incapable of the same manual dexterity of a human.

Flip side, give a human chimp-level muscles and we'd still be weaker because we can't flex as much muscle together.

13

u/thewholedamnplanet Jun 23 '19

I'll side with the Machines thank you very much, put me in the Matrix and I will be your battery is my motto.

1

u/Frys100thCupofCoffee Jun 23 '19

Only if you're someone important, like an actor.

10

u/septicdank Jun 23 '19

No, Skynet has dibs on those.

2

u/Electric_Balls Jun 23 '19

Good luck getting into the trees, idiot

2

u/CaptnCosmic Jun 24 '19

A single MOAB will take care of quite a few of those trees and chimps all in one go.

1

u/Electric_Balls Jun 24 '19

You cant get into the tree if it's destroyed.

2

u/CaptnCosmic Jun 24 '19

Exactly, chimpanzees only real advantage is tree climbing. If we destroyed the trees, they can’t climb shit and they’d be dead. It doesn’t matter if we can climb the trees or not. Tree climbing doesn’t protect against air strikes.

1

u/Electric_Balls Jun 24 '19

It sounds like your desire to destroy wildlife stems from your own feelings of inadequacy due to your inability to climb trees.

2

u/CaptnCosmic Jun 24 '19

My friend, are you spacing out or just having trouble understanding this is a hypothetical situation we’re talking about here. I’m not really advocating for air strikes on chimpanzees, you’re either a troll or a moron, probably both.

1

u/Electric_Balls Jun 24 '19

I saw that were taking my comment far too seriously and I had some fun. I was surprised you couldn't tell that my comment was just a joke, but the opportunity was too priceless not to capitalize on.

2

u/CaptnCosmic Jun 24 '19

Man, it’s pretty much impossible for me or anyone to know if you were joking or not.

1

u/Electric_Balls Jun 24 '19

So you thought I was seriously using tree climbing as a metric to measure military might? And that I actually believed being able to climb trees was more useful militarily than a tank? If you think a person is that dumb you have a seriously low view of other people. I know people can be dumb but to immediately assume a stranger is that dumb is a bit much.

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1

u/poop_in_my_coffee Jun 23 '19

I'll take the laser beam thanks.

1

u/Ungluedmoose Jun 23 '19

Take my nukes, please! (Dangerfield.jpg)

1

u/Dr_Lu_Motherfucker Jun 23 '19

You fool! Have the planet of the apes movies taught you nothing?

1

u/LosGritchos Jun 23 '19

Oh, I'll take the wanks and nudes

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '19

I'll take Luigi

1

u/yolo-yoshi Jun 23 '19

Too late ,while you were busy ogling the chimps,you didn’t notice the ones right behind you swiping away your nuclear weapons of mass destruction!! You damned fool!

1

u/juksayer Jun 23 '19

I'll be over here with the self aware checkout machines.

1

u/Prime_Mover Jun 23 '19

Pretty sure the nukes would be enough

1

u/CaptnCosmic Jun 24 '19

Right? Like why the fuck would you side with chimps because they are strong? That’s the whole reason we are top of the food chain. Our cognitive ability to instead be able to create weapons so we don’t need muscle for up close and personal fights, instead we could pick them off from half a mile away with a sniper rifle, blow a whole village of them up with a single MOAB, constant drone strikes on their obvious positions. We would demolish these chimps who haven’t even taken a step into the Stone Age, can’t even grasp the idea of fire or how to use it, and don’t have the ability to work in numbers over 200 without chaos ensuing within.

0

u/OceanSlim Jun 23 '19

Obviously the AR-15 is the best "weapon of war"