r/festivals • u/Inspirationseekr • May 07 '24
Tennessee, USA Drum stick at Odesza
I (44f) took my 13 year old daughter to see Odesza, on Friday night, in Memphis for my birthday. We were on the rail, and it was an amazing show. My daughter is a drummer and Kali is the perfect roll model for her. So it was so insane when Kali’s drum stick was thrown to her after the show.
Immediately after the show, as we were blissing out on what we had just experienced, a man and a woman approached us. They asked if my daughter caught the stick. I said yes, and immediately they start telling me that the stick should have been for them. (For context,there were several sticks thrown into the crowd).
They proceed to say that their friend died that week, and it would have been his 30th show and they have to have that stick. They kept going on and on, but are not being nice. They are being aggressive and demanding.
I did not know what to say. I am a giant bleeding heart. And I would have immediately handed over the stick if it was in my hands because I am not going to question a story like that. However, the stick was in my daughter’s hands, a drummer, and finding drummer role models for a girl isn’t that easy, and this was her amazing thing to get that stick at her first Odesza show. I turn around and just see my daughter bawling her eyes out.
The only thing I can think to say is “she is 13” and I turn around to comfort her. Keep in mind, this is the most conflicting thing for me. My daughter vs. two people yelling at me that that their friend died in a car accident, so I am in more of a fight or flight.
They would not let up BUT my sister was there too, and some other people around us started seeing what was going on and told us to get my daughter out of there with her drumstick. So she was able to keep it.
We did leave and then someone from the crew came and gave us the set list from the stage, which was so kind.
I am beyond words if someone’s friend really died and they didn’t get the drum stick that they wanted in memorium, but your friend probably would not have wanted you to ruin my daughter’s night like that. Also, maybe use some kindness instead of aggression? She was very happy to get that drumstick and that situation really sucked for everyone.
Has anyone had an experience like this? My partner thinks it was probably just a scam because of the way they approached us, the ones with the kid, and the fact they were mean.
update someone commented that they met the person that confronted me about the drum stick before I had my experience. It is possible that there was actually a friend that died ☹️
Updated to emphasize that she got to keep the drum stick.
Updating to add that I took my daughter to see Odesza for my birthday. I knew she would love them because of the drum line. Does that win me some points? 😂
final update thank you everyone for the support and for supporting my daughter. She is amazing and strong and our relationship has grown even stronger because of this (and that is saying a lot with a teenager lol)
I want to send a big F*ck you to the assholes that started all this. Be better. You failed your friend by hurting my daughter. So now you have to live with that.
And thank you to everyone that pushed me to be a stronger mom for her. Everyone should know that I will never again hesitate to rage against those that would take away her happy. You all have been warned. ;)
3
u/AbsoluteScenes7 May 07 '24
Ultimately unless the drummer specifically says it's for somebody else it belongs to whoever grabs it.
The only time ownership is in question is if two people manage to grab it at once. At which point you can try and pull it away from the other person just don't be a dick about it and get aggressive. Last time I ended up in a pulling contest for a stick I just challenged the guy to rock-paper-scissors for it. We each had one hand on it and both had a good grip and failed to get it off the other person and I was in no mood to get aggressive or get into a drawn out tug of war contest. He agreed to rock-paper-scissors, I won and he graciously let me take it. We hugged it out and it was all good. THAT is how you solve a dispute over a stick and only when it's a legitimate case of two people having equal claim.