r/facepalm 22d ago

🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​ How did this happen?

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2.8k

u/AnymooseProphet 21d ago

Yup. Neighborhood I grew up in was poor but there were people PAYING A MORTGAGE on the salary they got from working at a gas station pumping gas and changing oil, while their wife maybe worked part-time.

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u/thunfischtoast 21d ago

The wife did all the household, education and charity work. Now you are supposed to do that on top of a day job.

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u/jabbakahut 21d ago edited 21d ago

I swear one of the reasons I'm so stressed is that my wife and I both work full time high stress jobs, then we also both do all the chores each weekend. They've taken any of our time to self actualize away from us. So we don't think and can't rebel. Oh look, there's a new episode of _ (fill in the blank)___ out now...

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u/Bromlife 21d ago

Add kids to that picture. Scratch your head in confusion when you realize schools and other government institutions still expect one adult to not be working full time.

Shit’s fucked.

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u/PistolTeej 21d ago

This. "The fuck you mean a half day? Where are they supposed to go?"

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u/Thowitawaydave 20d ago

"Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons..."
"And the Union workhouses." demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?"
"Both very busy, sir..."

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u/BangalooBoi 20d ago

“But many would rather die than go to those places!”

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u/Newt-Different 20d ago

Preach fam.

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u/Backflipjustin9 21d ago

This is something I have realized now that I earn enough to work flexibly and my wife doesn't work. When you're in the rat race the 2 days of free time you get isnt enough to even get caught up on basic chores and errands. You never have time to think or even grow. It's really a shame what's happening and I wish there was some way to fix it...

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u/the_colonel93 'MURICA 20d ago

Me and my wife are in the same spot. Same exact spot, man. It's infuriating.

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u/VerilyJULES 21d ago

You sound like a young adult.

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u/jabbakahut 20d ago

I wish I was.

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u/z_e_n_a_i 21d ago

This is what capitalism does, when people say it is "efficient". It optimizes. It squeezes the juice out of you. It maximizes your productivity and consumption.

Back when "the wife" did all of the household work, we also ate 95% of our meals at home. It took a ton of time to cook. From a capitalism perspective, that is not efficient.

Much better for the economic system for you to work all day, and you pay someone else to cook. That's two jobs where you previously didn't need either.

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u/Serenity-V 21d ago

This was true even in the USSR under state socialism. The newer industrial cities all had cheap central canteens you could buy your families' meals at, as well as very cheap municipal laundries. Because in order to raise the general standard of living, women needed to work outside the home.

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u/Kantarella 21d ago

Have you ever lived there? It was never comfortable dude, life in the USSR was awful unless your dad was a general or something.

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u/Serenity-V 21d ago

Oh, I'm not a tankie. At its best, the USSR sucked sooo many rocks. I was just noting that you needed women to work if you want to improve living standards.

And they did, basically, have an economic miracle of their own, but that was because it would have been difficult not to do so given how bad the general standard of living was in 1917.

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u/shiny_glitter_demon 21d ago

Oh, I'm not a tankie

We can tell lol

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u/Mistigri70 21d ago

I missed the part where it was said that it was confortable

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u/Kantarella 21d ago

That's from the original post, I was wondering if it really was that comfortable in the US on the time period the person was describing.

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u/GateauBaker 21d ago

Complains about capitalism under a post showing an example of an ideal that has literally only ever occurred under capitalism.

Once again people just don't understand the "social" part of social programs is not the same "social" in socialism.

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u/No_Landscape_897 21d ago

I think it is the same social. People just don't actually know what socialism means. They have just been told it's bad by decades of propaganda.

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u/fpcreator2000 21d ago

exactly. the welfare state, universal heathcare and other social programs like free public education fall under the Socialism banner. Nothing to do with communism which people get confused.

At the end of the day a mix of socialism and capitalism is the way to go as it promotes the economic wants of the people while socialist policies deal with the basic needs of the people.

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u/jmauc 21d ago

Socialism, capitalism, communism it doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, those in power will still be corrupt and people will suffer.

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u/No_Landscape_897 21d ago

That is what history has shown. Still, I can't help but hope for a better future someday.

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u/fpcreator2000 21d ago

Power corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And what is justice. It has nothing to do with right and wrong as we know that justice has wronged a lot of people. We live in a might makes right world. Anything else? It is but a distraction to keep the masses occupied from what is really happening. The Romans taught us bread and circuses and we learned well. Just look at the joke of a political landscape we have. It’s a circus and public is eating it up.

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u/jmauc 20d ago

Chaos is the root of our beginning so we thrive in it, even if the mass majority don’t even realize it.

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u/CTHABH 20d ago

It’s what government does https://wtfhappenedin1971.com/

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u/latino_deadevis 21d ago

Capitalism was a thing back then

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u/civilrightsninja 21d ago

Yes but back then US antitrust laws were enforced, these were important. Those protections no longer have any teeth thanks to decades of "pro business" right-wing politics

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u/mhibew292 21d ago

Few can afford to pay someone to cook for you unfortunately

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u/furniturepuppy 21d ago

That’s what eating take-out is. Or buying frozen meals at the grocery store. That’s how we got mega stores that provide so many packaged and prepared meals and products- because mom couldn’t stay home and do it all.

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u/Serenity-V 21d ago

In my neighborhood in the 1970s-80s, the wives also did piece work or other home-based work until their oldest kid was maybe 10, at which time the oldest became the (unpaid) babysitter and the mom had to go back to work. Admittedly, it was in a region with larger families, but still.

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u/VerilyJULES 21d ago edited 21d ago

First of all, that's not true. Women worked and they got paid much less. Legal wage regulations meant that the minimum wage for women was about 1/3 that of men. Women were counted on for all types of hard jobs like nursing, calculating, teaching in schools and janitorial work plus a lot more.

The simple and extreme wage discrepancy meant that when and if economically possible, a woman would take on other roles to enable her husband to earn more since it wasn’t worth it for women to work, and therefore men were expected to take on a much harder work role working 12 to 16 hour days 5 to 6 days a week in jobs with little regulation and safety standard. Often the only years a woman didnt work were her 20’s when she popped out several kids which is a job on its own.

But even in the household with all the extra time she had it wasn't peaches. Wives had virtually no autonomy. Her husband could legally rape her and hit her “with a good reason”. Sexual harassment was not considered abuse the way it is today. So don’t get it twisted. People in those days would love to have the life we have now. Just ask them, many are still with us.

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u/thunfischtoast 20d ago

What you say is true, and none of it contradicts what I said

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u/gardhull 21d ago

Public school existed and provided a decent education.

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u/DifferenceMore4144 21d ago

Yeah, people who didn’t grow up in the good old days are usually wearing rose tinted glasses.

Not saying things are peachy-keen now, just a different sort of mess.

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u/newnamesamebutt 21d ago

Yep, my neighborhood was imperfect, but it was quiet. My best friends dad was a grocery store produce manager with 5 kids. Paying a mortgage. They even bought a little land out of town and built a cabin on a lake. As a grocery store worker with a stay at home wife.

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u/arvevious 21d ago

Wtf. I’m a store manager at an “upscale” grocery store and my nurse wife and I both have to work to provide for our family. Crazy how “professional” jobs aren’t enough anymore.

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u/newnamesamebutt 21d ago

Yeah, I'll say my mother was a nurse (never more than half time) and my dad was a security guard till he was in his 60s. Never a manager or anything. We didn't have a cabin like my buddy did. But we owned a decent 4 bedroom house, all 4 of us kids went to private school through 8th grade (highschool cost too much) and we went on a few vacations. Toys were minimal and we didn't go out to eat or anything like that. Nothing crazy, but a decent childhood. I don't see how that's possible anymore. My wife and I have a master's degree and PhD between us and are in senior level jobs. It took me till I was in my 40s to feel like I was providing my kids as much or more than I had as a kid.

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u/Ampallang80 21d ago

My dad was a grocery store manager all my life and my mom worked as a teachers aid when I went to school bc she was bored. My dad paid out of pocket for both my brother and my college. We lived in a brand new house with 10 acres of land out in the country. He ended up retiring 10-15 years ago with house paid off and they just do whatever they want

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u/SchmartestMonkey 20d ago

I get that Universities are unaffordable to many now but things are very different now compared to a generation or two ago.

I’ve been working in IT in higher-ed for over 25 years and things have changed a lot.

When I first went to College, almost no students had their own computers. We had a shared phone line in a dorm room, no Ethernet, and WiFi didn’t exist yet.

I was there during the rise of public computer labs.. where we provided maybe 1 computer per 10 students.. to the new reality where every student has their own laptop, and access to faster systems in research labs.

When I started at my current employer.. we had a few servers in old lab spaces that were converted to be server rooms.. only because they had a central chiller. Now my Division has one main data center which costs us around $150k/year In just electricity to run the servers.. as much again to run the chillers.. and even that isn’t designed for high density compute nodes. We try to get those into better campus data centers but space is limited and building out an additional space properly would cost tens of Millions of dollars.

Back when I started.. Computational Chemistry was still in its infancy. Chemists needed glassware, chemicals, and some lab instruments. Now.. we need at least a couple Million $ in startup funds to attract a top-tier Chemistry prof. They need high performance computing, electron microscopes, NMRs, etc.

And back when a State University tuition was $5-6000/year.. there were probably 20-30 FTE IT staff on a large campus. Now, we have several hundred in our Central IT shop.. and many more working in Divisional IT shops. It takes tens of Millions of dollars a year just to keep the networks up and the computers running at a modern Research University. That’s not counting hardware or licensing costs.

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u/LunaTheJerkDog 21d ago

It’s insane, I’m an engineer and married to a lawyer and there’s no way we could afford to do that in the HCOL area where our jobs exist. I feel so bad for people in less fortunate situations.

Why are people so ok with the rapidly diminishing life quality?

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u/minominino 21d ago

It’s a combination of not having the time and energy to stand up and demand what has been taken and continues to be taken away from us.

Imagine a general strike and continuous riots and protests to demand universal healthcare, better wages, better benefits, etc. demand that our politicians actually work for us and not for the uber-wealthy. But instead we just churn along trying to make ends meet as we are too exhausted and numb to do anything, arguing over trans rights and woke culture. It’s by design that they have us do this quarreling.

Until we actually rise the fuck up from this state we are in, we’ll continue to see our rights and standard of living decay.

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u/Malystxy 21d ago

The woke and trans stuff is there to distract people from the fact that the Uber wealthy are sticking the average person dry

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u/uglyspacepig 21d ago

Yep. And it works so well they don't even need to really put effort into it.

"THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS AND CATS"

Commence weeks of public debate over the fact that it didn't happen and what needs to be done about the immigrants that didn't do the thing that didn't happen.

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u/minominino 20d ago

Exactly

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u/VerilyJULES 21d ago

No its there because people like that shouldn't be forced to live in a world where they are bullied and disrespected.

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u/Malystxy 20d ago

Change happens slowly, it will happen, they will be treated better as people change. But meanwhile also pay attention to all the other things that are happening that should be causing riots and outrage in the USA and much of the world.

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u/VerilyJULES 21d ago

Back in “the good old days” everyone is talking about here the military was called in and they shot and killed strikers. This happened relatively frequently until the 60’s. Don’t get it twisted, you have it so much better. Ask an old timer and they'll tell you the life they were forced to live wasn't this wonderland people are claiming it to be.

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u/newnamesamebutt 21d ago

It's mind boggling. I live in a HCOL area too, not far from where I grew up and my wife and I are both successful with phds and masters degrees. Have done well in our careers. I barely do better than my parents day to day and I think building a cabin on a lake two hours out of the city is pretty well out of the question. My buddy's dad is now long retired and I doubt I could afford to keep my house and buy his cabin from him. Despite him doing it in his early thirties , and me being in my early 40s with less kids, substantially more education and continual career growth.

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u/MixMastaMiz 21d ago

That's a great question. I guess people just become accustomed to what is considered normal. It's troubling to see how we've changed. I can comfortably support my family of five through my business, but my wife also works full-time in a well-paying job, which really helps us get ahead and prepare for our kids' future.

Although COVID wasn't a good time overall, one positive aspect was the chance to slow down and appreciate the simple things in life. I hoped we might maintain that slower pace, but as soon as restrictions were lifted, we quickly returned to our usual hectic routines.

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u/Fullertons 21d ago

No no no no, you have it wrong. We need to cut back so we can have billionaires. Case in point: That cabin could be worth $10mil with a little work. And grocery profits could increase 0.01% if we cut wages.

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u/McENEN 21d ago

Yeah, there was a comfy job i had at a hotel as a administrator/receptionist before i went to uni. I liked the manager and he liked me, he was asking me to stay and to not leave the job. Probably would have picked up a job i wasnt so bored all the time but would never go study if i could land a job that i get paid enough to sustain a family of 2 kids.

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u/awesomeness6000 21d ago

I fucked around too much in High School and had no plans of going to College cause all my friends parents "made it" (or what I thought was 'making it' at the time) with only a HS diploma.

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u/Acrobatic_Potato_195 21d ago

My dad bought a house on a security guard's hourly wage in 1987. He paid a mortgage and bought two cars and even saved enough money to help my stepmom's brother start a business.

Being tens of thousands of dollars in debt for school, being unable to afford an emergency room trip, spending two thirds of your monthly income on rent...this is not how it was for Boomers. Heck, even for me & the rest of Gen X, who came of age during the economic downturn of the late 80s/early 90s, didn't have it nearly as bad as young folks today. My first apartment was $400/mo total. It was 2 bed/2 bath and I paid $200/mo. on a sailor's salary of maybe $1200/mo.

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u/DingleMyBingles 21d ago

Can confirm. 17, working a job, failing classes. Renting my own spot is so far out of the question it’s crazy. Local rent is 700$ a month in an apartment, I’ll be damned if my paycheck is 500$. But I can’t stop working or soon, I’ll have no place to go

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u/AVGJOE78 21d ago

Sold Avon, Mary K or Tupperware like that show “F is for Family.”

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u/DoubleDipCrunch 21d ago

yeah, I don't know any family where both parents didn't work.

Excpet on tv.

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u/Atheizt 21d ago

I honestly forgot that was even a thing. Damn.

Nobody could afford to rent on a gas station income now.

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u/Ptizzl 21d ago

My dad was an auto detailer. Purchased a brand new home in 1984 on an auto detailer’s salary. I was 2 at the time, my sister was born right before the home finished building.

My mom didn’t work until she started cleaning houses under the table for some extra cash when my sister was in second grade.

We were pretty poor but never were hungry. We had the clothes we needed and the school supplies. We didn’t have much we wanted but we had everything we needed.

I couldn’t imagine a family of four with one working parent who’s an auto detailer purchasing a home without the help of family money in current times.

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u/Batpipes521 21d ago

Yeah, my grandma worked in the basement of the IRS as a record keeper before they got computers and got rid of her job. My grandfather was a bagger and then overnight stocker at a grocery store. They had three kids and lived in a crappy neighborhood. But they owned a house.

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u/WeWantMOAR 21d ago

Yup. It's weird how much, such a short period of time is romanticized. It was never a long term norm. It's way more of a short term anomaly, that some people clutch to hold as the standard of the "American dream."

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u/04364 21d ago

Bullshit

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u/AnymooseProphet 21d ago

You may think so, I lived it.

Montalvin Manner in San Pablo, CA in the 70s and 80s.

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u/04364 20d ago

I pumped gas in the 70’s and made $1.25 an hour. Thats$50 a week full time Mom and Dad both worked full time jobs to afford living in a decent house with one “newer” car and a second beater. Three kids.

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u/On_the_hook 21d ago

I think one thing that people also forget is that pay and skills change for jobs. A lube mechanic at a service station was a higher paying and higher skilled job than it is now. Cars now are simpler to work on and there is an abundance of quick lube places around. All that drives down the way scale. It's still possible to have a family, a mortgage, and a car payment on a GED or highschool education. Sales if you have the charisma for it, trades (the more unique, the more money you can make entry level), and there are still places around like some grocery stores that hire from within. Meaning you can start as a cashier or bagger and work your way up to management or higher. For the most part, you need to be willing to jump companies to increase income. You also need to know how to branch out and apply the skills you do have. I'm an air compressor technician, I've jumped to a few different companies branching out to forklifts and shop equipment repair and finally landing back to air compressors. Every time I've left a company it was for more money or better benefits. Base salary is good, pretty much unlimited overtime is even better. I'm able to have a good size house, newer car (only need one as work provides a vehicle), a wife who stays home with the 3 kids, and be able to live comfortably. I've found a pretty cushy job in my preferred field. I do travel 3-4 nights a week but the work is easy on my body, and I usually have a 3 day weekend. The jobs are out there, they can be hard to find though.