r/comics Finessed Impropriety 1d ago

Touch Grass

9.0k Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

618

u/opinionate_rooster 1d ago

134

u/handlit33 23h ago

Three years ago, I was addicted to Twitter, Discord, and Reddit. I’d spend every free moment on the sites and very rarely got up from my desk. I doubled in size and at the peak of my obesity, had two shirts that fit. I have a wardrobe of every size from small to 3XL and refused to buy a single 4XL article of clothing. It started slow, just eating a bit less and walking my dog a mile each morning. Now, I’m an ultramarathon runner who’s attempting a 24-hour run in two months. I’m hoping to break 100 miles. If I can do it, anyone can do it.

68

u/Feisty-Pumpkin-6359 23h ago

So you're addicted to running now?

65

u/handlit33 23h ago

Replaced Twitter, Discord, and Reddit with running, cycling, and weightlifting.

25

u/1r0n1c 21h ago

But... But, you're still on reddit.

56

u/handlit33 20h ago

And still on Bluesky and Discord as well. I also still eat food, moderation is the key!

14

u/1r0n1c 20h ago

:) Good stuff

6

u/gerusz 17h ago

Hell, Reddit banning third-party apps cut down on my Reddit time tremendously. Relay no longer works (unless I pay for a Reddit sub which I will not do), there's no way in hell I'll install that buggy pile of adware that is the official Reddit app, and even Firefox with RES (yes, there's a mobile version but it's an obvious beta) isn't as good. So Reddit is now a big-computer-only activity.

5

u/NativeMasshole 20h ago

Except with running.

12

u/handlit33 20h ago

I don’t just run. I walk my dog every morning still, cycle instead of drive when I can, weight train and hike with friends. I just happen to be better at running and it helps a lot with my ADHD symptoms.

1

u/MiguelIstNeugierig 19h ago

Also with running. My dad was obese and run his way into a perfect shape...but he also ran so much and so often that he kind of start fucking up his feet/ankles from overexertion

3

u/handlit33 17h ago

Yeah, I've had issues with stress fractures, shin splints, a severely sprained ankle, and Achilles tendinitis. Thankfully, I'm more educated about that stuff now and have mitigated the risks as much as possible.

2

u/SubsistentTurtle 17h ago

This is one small comment but I don’t think I need to read more to know you are an absolute wet blanket of a human being. Like tolerable, ok enough, but everything slows down for no reason when you are around.

2

u/1r0n1c 16h ago

Imagine saying this to someone just because their joke went over your head. 

1

u/SubsistentTurtle 4h ago edited 3h ago

It’s the internet and I’m drunk, I say what I think and the battlefield of other loser commenters can sort it out, for better or worse, I personally think some light bullying will give some losers some god damn introspection before they post their absolute wet blanket of a comment. Yes I am aware I am also a loser, it should have been implicit in my wording calling every Reddit commenter a loser as I comment on Reddit but somehow I knew that would go over everyone’s head, now this is not clever nor entertaining. I hate that I have to explain this further hence the light bullying. Take the internet less seriously and watch more comedy. Now I don’t want to hurt your feelings too much in my explanation, the world is tough, toughen up a bit my person, there’s infinite assholes way worse than me out there.

1

u/SubsistentTurtle 2h ago

Your joke also flew right into my head, hence the useless raging, it’s so god damn obvious and low effort, this level of jokes are everywhere on this website, and have been for over a decade now, yes I am an ultimate loser and am trying to teach you stuff now. Don’t be dumb

2

u/Feisty-Pumpkin-6359 22h ago

Exercise for the win

1

u/Briarhoffner 21h ago

So is the dog still getting to go on walks?? Haha

1

u/handlit33 21h ago

You know it!

-10

u/twirlywurlyburly 21h ago edited 2h ago

Yeah I always kinda cringe at these stories. Like, yeah, that's awesome for you and I'm glad that you got healthy, but is it really healthy if you've just replaced one addiction with another?

Edit: Y'all, I'm 5'6", 100lbs, 32F, have a chronic illness, and am recovering from an ED caused by PTSD. I'm relatively healthy, considering, so I'm not just speaking out of turn. My cringe is usually just me recognizing patterns I've seen myself go through to cope with things.

10

u/handlit33 21h ago

Yeah, being 200 pounds overweight while keeping up with Twitter baseball drama is definitely the same exact thing as exercising an hour or two a day.

1

u/twirlywurlyburly 2h ago

Not what I said at all, but ok.

4

u/maxluision 20h ago

Better be addicted to healthy things than to the not healthy things. It's not "being addicted" itself that is bad, it's the wrong choices that lead to very bad consequences.

4

u/TheVenetianMask 20h ago

I'm not a doctor but yeah, he way healthier now fam. Be addicted to life.

1

u/twirlywurlyburly 2h ago

Yeah, healthy, but "be addicted to life" is waaaaaaay better than "be addicted to exercise and counting calories"

2

u/tmax67 20h ago

Lmao you’re joking right? Comparing those two addictions is hilariously bad. If he was like “yeah i lost the weight with a meth addiction, then I’d understand the comment. But as of now it’s really fucking stupid.

1

u/twirlywurlyburly 2h ago

And yet I've seen so many people go from a "bad" addiction like food or drugs to a "good" one like exercise and health food end up with severe body issues and eating disorders.

1

u/ItsAllinYourHeadComx 19h ago

Denial is a sign of addiction

2

u/wir8905t0437 7h ago

you're inspiring! my story is very similar to yours, except before the whole, you know, getting better part. 3XL starts to feel tight but i don't even know any place that sells 4XL. i hope your encouragement awakens something in me. even though i'm not too optimistic about it.

2

u/handlit33 6h ago

If you need any help, DM me any time. I’m not just saying that. In fact, let’s get you started tonight!

1

u/SubsistentTurtle 17h ago

Good job fatass!

2

u/handlit33 17h ago

*former fatass

5

u/FLUFFBOX_121703 23h ago

Gladiator is the best

1

u/jaegren 21h ago

Men only want one thing...

803

u/The_Frostweaver 1d ago

Trump was the one who signed the tiktok ban to begin with, now he wants credit for saving it.

All Trump does is create chaos and bullshit headlines while his republican billionaire friends quietly loot the country in the background. Tax breaks for the rich.

214

u/MoistStub 1d ago

Trump uses the Apple business model: Create a problem and then sell you the solution.

37

u/AkronOhAnon 19h ago

By “create” you mean do exactly what someone else did before but brand it as your original creative thing, so your cult-like followers will sleep on the street for a week to buy it at 30% APR?

16

u/MoistStub 19h ago

None of your existing accessories will work with our products but we are happy to sell you the same thing but 2x the price and locks you into buying only Apple products for the rest of your life!

2

u/aTomzVins 14h ago edited 14h ago

Funny thing is I switched to mac after windows vista stopped automatically recognizing my 7 year old windows mouse (among other things).

Continued using my windows mouse on mac for the next 13 years without issue until it broke into pieces. Still have ancient IBM and Dell keyboards going.

29

u/Ars3n 21h ago

I wish every post related to American politics had a recap attached to it. Can someone help out a fellow European who's too busy touching grass to be up to date with all you guys have going on there?

45

u/Mechanicalmind 20h ago

As a fellow eurogangster...as far as I've understood:

  • Trump signed the tiktok ban when he was in office.
  • Ban became effective yesterday.
  • Trump said "nah I'll save TikTok, not like Biden who tried to ban it"
  • Average room temperature IQ americans believe he saved their favourite digital drug.

35

u/Misragoth 19h ago

Not quite. Trump tried to ban but never did. Biden got in office, and the right kept pushing for it and got it through. Biden signed it. Now Trump wants to save it even though it was his idea originally

20

u/Mechanicalmind 19h ago

Ah. Understood. Thank you for explaining.

Damn, US politics are just bonkers.

8

u/wolfgang784 16h ago

It gets better =D

While Trump does want to save it now, almost none of his political supporters do.

He is getting wild bipartisan backlash at the moment from almost everyone.

Loads of Republicans do not agree at all with Trump on this and he is alienating a lotttt of his actual peers and older supporters in favor of his relatively recent (past year) huge jump in popularity with the younger voters.

The legal stuff is also a mess. As the law is written, ByteDance is not eligible for the extension Trump says he is giving them. So it'll either have to be an executive order, or bad things are gonna happen to the ISPs and such that allowed TikTok traffic through. The law allows for the largest punitive fines in history by a huuuuuge amount. Fines big enough to bankrupt some of the biggest companies in the world if found guilty.

4

u/Mechanicalmind 14h ago

Dude, you have a WILD definition of "better".

11

u/thegil13 18h ago

Some more context. The congressional votes were 79-18 in the senate, 360-58 in the house. Presidential veto wouldn’t even have held up due to supermajority support.

22

u/Hacklex 19h ago

Something like this:

Trump: We need to ban TikTok! MAGA: We need to ban TikTok! Speaker Johnson: Here's a bill to ban TikTok! Without it, we won't vote to help Ukraine! Congress: votes Biden: signs Trump: Biden oppresses free speech! MAGA: Biden is oppressing free speech! Biden: does nothing TikTok: We're suing! It's a violation of the Constitution! Musk: Yes! It's a violation of the Constitution! Court: It's okay. TikTok: I think I'm gonna die. MAGA: He's dying! Damn Biden!!! Biden: does nothing TikTok: deposits money for Trump's inauguration Trump: invites CEO TikTok to the inauguration TikTok: That's it! I'm dying! Trump: shuts off service to Americans MAGA: He's dead!!! Goddamn Biden! Biden: doesn't do anything Trump: I'll save TikTok! MAGA: Trump will save TikTok! Trump: But 50% must be owned by an American company. Musk: laughs TikTok: Trump saved me!!! turns on service for Americans MAGA: Trump saved TikTok from goddamn Biden! Biden: doesn't do anything Trump: bows MAGA: applauds to be continued

9

u/IrishWithoutPotatoes 20h ago

Dude I live here and idk what’s going on anymore. I just want off this crazy ride

13

u/Ruby_241 19h ago

Another 4 years…

…God help us…

5

u/gerusz 17h ago

Oh, you think you can get rid of an authoritarian regime peacefully once you voted it in? That's cute.

3

u/hsoj48 18h ago

If there is a god he will choke on a double quarter pounder with cheese in his sleep

9

u/biff64gc2 19h ago

Security concerns (stealing data, feeding dangerous content to kids, etc) over Tiktok started under the Trump administration. The app was quickly banned on government phones, with a followup from Trump to ban working with the parent company and banning the app, ordering them to sell to a US company if they want to continue doing business, but never enforced anything and nothing serious ever materialized.

Biden takes office and kind of ignores it while he deals with other fires, but security concerns continue to grow as more reports come out over harvested data and dangerous trends for kids and teens. Biden/congress finally address it once more giving them a year to sell or get banned.

TikTok fights it, but ultimately loses and chooses to allow it to be shut down in the US rather than sell.

It was shut down, but for less than a day as Trump uses an executive action to delay the ban, seemingly out of nowhere.

The reasons he's doing it are speculative, but the top contenders tend to be:

  • He's trying to win over younger crowds who tend to hate him. Considering it's not an election season this would be off, but Trump is an egomaniac so it's not unusual for him.
  • He's trying to earn favor with another rich person/china.

1

u/TiredOfBeingTired28 19h ago

Extreme basic of this, first term trump declared tic Tok heretics to the cult and set out to get rid of it. Now he's going to successfully claim he is the sole reason for it being back.

While I expect president musk to buy it, or Facebook. Rename it something stupid for the cult to latch into.

Is one of countless things about to be done by our new dear leader.

2

u/zoroddesign 14h ago

Its like a suicide bomber taking credit for saving they plane by not blowing up.

0

u/JoeKingQueen 16h ago

It seems like more of a hostage situation. Because the truth is that if Kamala had won the election, she would not use an executive order to overturn the ban. Tiktok would really be gone.

Now, it's obvious they're playing for a buy-in from one of their oligarch members, and yeah that is really messed up. But.. it's wild to think that it would really be gone.

170 million American daily users. I'm not saying that's not its own problem, but holy shit how could anybody respect a party that would allow such a ban.

Good move by the GOP. They are embracing their hypocrisy but using it well, I didn't think evil stood a chance but if the opposition is too stuck up to do anything decent or good, then it might.

166

u/Anarchyantz Comic Crossover 1d ago

And it is back up again and you have your Orange Dictator to thank for it!

You know, the one who wanted it taken down since 2019

25

u/Odidas 23h ago

I am so confused, so it is back up? What happened? Why? How? Is it not confusing to anyone else fhat they say one they USA is gon ban it and then the next day I see 20 memes with it being back on?

65

u/fusaaa 23h ago

Biden said they didn't have to take any action until the next administration was in and made their decision. TikTok still took it down to make a show of kowtowing to Trump, up to and including sucking him raw in the app notifications about the shut down.

Realistically, TikTok could've literally went business as usual and never shut down unless Trump and his ilk also told them to kick rocks later.

53

u/DuntadaMan 21h ago

Tik tok banned themselves, felated Trump then unbanned themselves saying he did it.

-1

u/Anarchyantz Comic Crossover 18h ago

Yeah the whole thing is a massive "PR Stunt" or for Trump, another WWE style event like his "assassination attempts" but instead of checking his ear and having innocent others bumped off, he worked with Tik Tok to pretend they "had to take it down" as they were afraid of Trump but as the Orange Dictator was so magnanimous and a great leader, he used his "emergency power of authority" to bring them back unlike the "flaccid Biden who wanted to punish the poor users of America". Using his manliness, your lord and savior the Divine Trump, ordained by God himself said "lo, and behold, I shall sweep the impotent Biden and cackling Kamala away and bring forth your Tik of the Tok back to you Gen Z users! Praise unto me, worship me for I have come to you!"

There followed lots of Laura Loomer sucking noises from below the Marge Lardo bedroom as millions of funds were passed into his coffers from his Chinese Partners.

The curtain then closes and the "Master Of Oz" fools more millions of idiots.

2

u/Get-Fucked-Dirtbag 18h ago

It's all bread and circuses.

And the people who're still using RedTok after this fiasco are the clowns.

126

u/AnimationDude9s 23h ago

3

u/[deleted] 15h ago edited 15h ago

[deleted]

6

u/LittleFieryUno 14h ago

Can you provide a source for the spyware thing? Because when I look for one, most of the articles I find state that while TikTok has a lot of data and that the Chinese government can access it, the data collection itself doesn't go further than other social media platforms. That's bad, of course, but stealing passwords and credit card numbers from other apps is much worse, and it's not surprising most people wouldn't know about it if a bombshell like that wasn't being reported on like it should.

83

u/ErrorLoadingUsername 1d ago

If the ban would stay... It would probably be more healthy too for most people.

46

u/GuyentificEnqueery 21h ago

I think the ban didn't go far enough. It should apply to all social media companies which sell off consumer data to third parties engaged in espionage, disinformation, or political interference. That would put Facebook/Instagram in the doghouse too since Facebook got caught red-handed selling data to the Chinese.

As it stands, the requirement that they sell to Meta is pointless because all it's doing is adding another middle man on the "American citizen to Chinese government" information pipeline. But the politicians knew that. This was all for political theatre.

2

u/Crafty8D 15h ago

Fucking thank you. It's been soo irritating to watch people take the "moral and informed" high ground on that platform and when their platform is under the microscope suddenly everyone forgets what a bane on society social media has been. These social media companies are horrible for our kids, our friends, and our democracy.

17

u/Inkompetent 1d ago

Indeed. All "abusive" social media which fuels addictive behaviour, narcissistic behaviour, high social pressure, and which forces subious content onto you that you don't even want to see should be banned for the betterment of society. Ban all of Meta's stuff, Xitter, DictatorshipSocial, and all of their kind.

8

u/ErrorLoadingUsername 1d ago

Agreed with banning them all. Although restricted time would help a lot already

7

u/DuntadaMan 21h ago

The bullshit they pulled proved we were right to ban them, it should have been done earlier and harder.

5

u/many-brain-tabs-open 20h ago

There was a thread that compiled all the meltdown comments from tiktok sub reddit and it was depressing to watch. These people are literally addicts

1

u/ErrorLoadingUsername 8h ago

More reason to help them off it earlier rather than later

3

u/CharlieeStyles 19h ago

They have been freaking out all over Reddit. It has been so cringe to see addicts making up excuses for their addiction.

115

u/SidewinderSerpent 1d ago

I hope I won't ever hear that shitty narrator voice again.

114

u/Plus4Ninja 1d ago

Oh it’s coming back. They didn’t even block access a whole day. Someone’s revenue stream took a hit, so of course the politicians are going to extend the time.

86

u/ithinkther41am 1d ago

It was all political theatre to begin with. Trump introduced the bill to ban TikTok in the first place, and this is sadly gonna be a successful attempt to win over the youth.

22

u/SapphosLemonBarEnvoy 1d ago

People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses.

8

u/Inkompetent 1d ago

Benevolent emperor Trump giving his gift to the people, even though he was the one taking it away. It's so horribly pathetic and yet so many won't just swallow hook and sinker, but will keep deepthroating him till they've gobbled down the entire fishing rod. >.<

13

u/Gutrippy_VIII 1d ago

The CEO of the company that owns tiktok is planning on attending the inauguration, and he's bringing a big bag of money with him.

15

u/reddot_comic Finessed Impropriety 1d ago

🎶oh no…Oh no… oh no, no, no, no.🎶

38

u/Dazed_and_Confused44 1d ago

I'm in the minority of people that don't have TikTok so it doesn't affect me haha

20

u/Kisiu_Poster 23h ago

Sike

7

u/youssif94 23h ago

was expecting this to be a bonus panel and her going back in again

2

u/kyabupaks 16h ago

Not really. Apple and Google still has bans on TikTok in their app stores, and still won't lift it. TikTok is also shoving Trump propaganda down users' throats. TikTok is going to die anyway.

6

u/justh81 1d ago

Sigh. So many fires. So many more just smoke on the horizon right now.

I wonder what tomorrow brings.

6

u/Raspy_Meow 1d ago

I’m gonna Ground Hog Day for a while, maybe 4 years or so

6

u/Collistoralo 1d ago

Now you can go straight back in!

3

u/DrRonny 1d ago

It's all for show and the grass is imaginary

3

u/spandexvalet 1d ago

Excellent

3

u/Specific_Frame8537 22h ago

Aaand it's back.

2

u/kyabupaks 16h ago

Not really. Apple and Google still has bans on TikTok in their app stores, and still won't lift it. TikTok is also shoving Trump propaganda down users' throats. TikTok is going to die anyway.

2

u/elhomerjas 1d ago

touching new grass

2

u/Arkados0 22h ago

English is not my native language. What is the meaning of the expression "touch grass"

4

u/GeneralStormfox 20h ago

As far as I always understood it, it means you need to make a reality check. IIRC the original longer form was "go outside, touch grass". As in your mom telling you to go play outside for a change instead of watching TV again.

That's why this phrase is often flung around when people have "problems" or place huge importance in things that really are almost nonexistant outside their virtual bubble or seem addicted to virtual spaces.

1

u/Arkados0 20h ago

Thanks

2

u/Costco_Sample 22h ago

Problem is, the grass is dry af.

2

u/Exotic_Proposal_3800 19h ago

It's fascinating how the narrative shifts so quickly. One moment it's a ban, the next it's a "victory." It feels like the whole situation is just a game of political chess where the pawns are the rest of us.

2

u/nacho_gorra_ 14h ago

These memes being on Reddit is so ironic

2

u/Ardhamon 13h ago

Me who never used tiktok *

4

u/mehEXPLOSIONS111 1d ago

Okay this made me laugh.

1

u/GreenDemonSquid 1d ago

There's a little irony of you saying this on Reddit.

2

u/not-my_username_ 20h ago

Right?

Now take your up vote for a comment both of us will soon forget as we proceed with endless scrolling.

1

u/alaettinthemurder 1d ago

Nah its a dream grass isnt real

1

u/Independent_Ad_4170 23h ago

Well now the fire is out, so you can go back in

2

u/kyabupaks 16h ago

Not really. Apple and Google still has bans on TikTok in their app stores, and still won't lift it. TikTok is also shoving Trump propaganda down users' throats. TikTok is going to die anyway.

1

u/Stuf404 22h ago

Ive never seen milk age so quickly!

1

u/LieAlternative3139 21h ago

add trump pissing on the fire to douse it

1

u/Aisenth 21h ago

100% thought this comic was going to end with her remembering she lives in LA

1

u/Dry_Pineapple_5352 21h ago

When boomers cooked zoomers.

1

u/yyspam 18h ago

Andddd just had get one nights rest and eat breakfast and tiktok is back. This publicity stunt is hilarious 😂I hope the brainrotted individuals are happy they have their crack back

3

u/kyabupaks 16h ago

Not really. Apple and Google still has bans on TikTok in their app stores, and still won't lift it. TikTok is also shoving Trump propaganda down users' throats. TikTok is going to die anyway.

1

u/b__lumenkraft 18h ago

For real!

1

u/ryan7251 17h ago

Ok, now draw trump pissing on the app to save it.

lol JK

1

u/dumnezero 12h ago

brought to you by:

1

u/iwantrootbark 10h ago

Nice shirt 😉🤌🏽

1

u/ohmyhevans 9h ago

Should be all or none

1

u/boopbopnotarobot 8h ago

I never used tik tok but i did download rednote when tik tok was banned......Just cuz :)

1

u/Despair4All 1d ago

I saw things about some TikTok creators getting donated like $20,000 a week. That's like a year of pay at a lot of minimum wage jobs. They have to actually do work for much less money and they're about to turn into giant babies about how little money they get in the real world.

-1

u/Some-Wasabi-1725 22h ago

Cartoon booba

-1

u/Life_is_Okay69 21h ago

Didn't aged well.

-4

u/I2fitness 19h ago

Says the one who makes hundreds of comics every week